Lies We Learned
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: After the death of her grandmother, DI Anna Smith goes to Snowy River, Australia for answers. She tells everyone she's retracing her grandmother's planned trip there when the reality is she's trying to discover her grandmother's origins. On her way she meets a bartender, John Bates, who provides clues about the tragedy surrounding the hauntingly familiar ranch there.
1. A Death in the Family

She fumbled, one-handed, for her mobile and slid her thumb to the side before taking it between her ear and shoulder. "DI Smith."

"Anna Smith?"

"Yes," She continued searching for something on her desk. "May I ask who this is?"

"This is Jane Moorsum, the attending nurse for your grandmother." Anna stopped, "I'm afraid to say she's nearing the end, Ms. Smith. Right now she's peaceful, sleeping on and off, but we'd like you here to help settle the final arrangements and she's been asking for you."

"I'll be right there." Anna ended the call and stood, snatching her jacket from the back of her chair so fast it spun to hit her desk.

The dark-haired woman across from her raised her head, frowning, "Steady on there. You'll leave a ding in the desk and then they'll ding you in the reviews next week."

"They can ding what they like." Anna opened her drawer, retrieving her keys and smiling at the other woman, "I'm the favorite Mary, and we both know it. I can do no wrong."

"Just wait until they ask me about you." Mary leaned over her desk, calling after her, "I can tell them all about that pub in Kirbymoorside."

Anna stuck up her middle finger and left through the doors.

Her little car fit into the parking space and she tugged the key out to hurry into the building. With barely a tap at the front desk they had her rushing down a hallway, her blonde ponytail bouncing slightly when she grabbed the lintel to the door. The nurse, noting something on an iPad, turned and beckoned Anna inside.

"How's she doing?"

"She's slipping in and out." The nurse's voice matched the one from the phone call and Anna noted her nametag did as well. "But if you'd like to wait here I can have a chair brought in for you."

"That's alright, thank you." Anna took the old woman lying prostrate in the bed by the hand and worked herself onto the edge. "I'll be fine here."

"It could still be awhile yet. A few hours maybe."

"It's fine," Anna nodded at her, "Thank you Nurse Moorsum."

"It's my pleasure." Nurse Moorsum tucked the iPad to her chest. "She's one of my best behaved patients and she's been nothing but lovely to me since we were put together."

"I think she requested you specifically."

"My luck then." Nurse Moorsum smiled at Anna's grandmother. "She's just lovely and I'll… I'll miss her, when she's gone."

"She always did have a way with people." Anna stroked the woman's hand. "Could I be alone with her or do you need to stay for anything?"

"We've got her vitals here so I can leave you be." Nurse Moorsum tapped her iPad. "There's a button next to her bed if you need anything. Just press and someone'll come running."

"Thank you." Anna arranged herself on the bed, kicking her shoes to the floor and tossing her jacket to the nearby chair to sit cross-legged in the space by her grandmother's stick-like legs. "You've gotten to look like a rail in here Gran. What've they been feeding you?"

"The most awful things." Her hand tightened on Anna's as her eyes flickered open blearily. "You've got to get me out of here Anna. They're trying to force something called Jell-O into my meals and it's the worst thing. It jiggles and shakes of its own according and comes in the most ghastly colors."

"They say kids love it."

"Do I look like a child to you?"

"Well," Anna shrugged, "The Christmas song says kids from one to ninety-two so I guess you're still a child."

"Oh," Her Gran sank back into her pillows, "If only I could've made it another year. Then people would respect me."

"They already do, I'm sure." Anna rubbed her hand, "But you're cold as ice."

"That's what happens when you're leaving your body one breath at a time."

Anna tried to smile but her eyes teared and she risked a hand to wipe them away, "You can't say things like that Gran."

"Why not, I'm dying aren't I?" She snorted, "I can say what I like now because who's going to argue with an old, dying woman?"

"Me, for a start." Anna fought back. "I can't do this without you."

"You're a professional with your own flat and this bed is costing you a pretty penny every day I occupy it." Gran sighed, "It's best if I empty it for someone else."

"You make it sound like a good thing."

"It is a good thing Anna." She leaned forward, a trembling and veiny hand caressing Anna's cheek. "My sweet girl you've got to move forward on your own."

"Without you?"

"If you can." She managed a smirk, "I'm a tough act to follow but tough bird though I am, we both know the best descriptor you ever had for me you threw when you were fifteen."

"I didn't mean it."

"But I was." She rested back on her pillows, "I was a bitch and you deserved better than me to take care of you."

"You did a fine job." Anna used a hand to trace a line down herself in the air. "I'm healthy, I've got a job, I've got my own flat, I got a degree… That sounds like fine work on your part."

"No that's fine work on your part. Despite anything I did that might've screwed you up."

"You never screwed me up."

"Almost did more than a few times."

Anna insisted, "You did the best you could for me. You and Grandad."

"He definitely gave you his Yorkshire accent didn't he?"

"I have a few things my partner takes the mickey out of me for because they sound as Australian as you." Anna smiled, "But I wouldn't change it for the world. It's what I've got from you."

"I wanted to give you more Anna. So much more." She snorted, "I wanted to give your mother more too but she wasn't having it."

"She emailed last week, from Phuket." Anna shrugged, "No idea what she's doing there but the guy in the picture looked half her age."

"Always a firecracker your mother. Had to put her on a leash as a kid."

Anna laughed, "You used that on me at the Chester Zoo once."

"You wanted to get into the penguin pen."

"I almost did too."

"Good thing I had the leash then." They settled and Anna leaned forward as her grandmother stroked over her hair. "You make me so proud Anna. So proud and so happy."

"I'm glad." Anna sniffed, holding her grandmother's hand to her face. "I just want to make you proud."

"Then do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Do you remember that trip your Grandad and I were planning before your mum dropped you on our doorstep?"

Anna frowned, "I remember you telling me about how my pram didn't match the suitcases you'd prepped for your holiday."

"We were going to Oz for a trip."

"That I made you postpone indefinitely."

"You were more important than that trip." Her grandmother insisted, "But I want you to go."

"To Oz? And do what? I don't surf. I don't even like kangaroos."

"I want you to dig out our travel guide-"

"I always wondered why you kept that old thing. It was falling apart."

"It's important, Anna, and you need to follow the instructions in there. It's next to that book of fairy stories you always insisted I read to you before bed."

"I was seven. I'm way too old for them now."

"We're never too old for them Anna." She clutched Anna's hand with all the strength in her weakening and withered hand. "Promise me you'll go. There are questions I think you can answer for me."

"Questions about what?"

"About my family."

Anna shook her head, confused. "Your family left Melbourne when you were fifteen. Any questions we want to ask them we just have to call them up. I'm pretty sure they'd pick up if we just-"

"They weren't my family, Anna."

"They raised you. You've got their last name… Until you took Grandad's last name but it's the same thing. They're your family."

Her Gran shook her head. "My father told me, when I was twenty-one, that he found me at the train station when I was four. Carrying that book of fairy tales and a small suitcase of clothes. No identification, no name, nothing."

"Someone left you at a train station?"

"No, I got off a train from Snowy River."

"That means someone left you at a train station. Or, on a train at least." Anna shook her head, confusion picking at her brain. "What were you doing on a train from Snowy River?"

"I don't know and they tried to find my parents but no one ever came to claim me so my father took me. He raised me and then told me the truth when I was twenty-one." Her Gran choked a moment, "I never spoke to my family again after that. I could never face them again after that day."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't feel like I belonged anymore." Her Gran waved a hand, "They still write but I only just managed to write back a few weeks ago."

"You're in contact with the Crawleys?" Anna scoffed for a second. "After all these years of refusing to associate with them no matter how many times they invited us to functions and parties and-"

"Yes, yes, yes. I know that I've made choices that are… questionable. But they were my choices. And getting in contact with them again was my choice too." Gran managed a shuddering breath. "My sister Violet and our cousin Isobel responded to my letters. We… Resolved our issues."

"You did?"

Gran nodded, "Most of them. There are still some that need to get resolved." Her breathing crackled in her chest. "Anna, I need you to set this right for me."

"I don't even know what I'm looking for. Or who I'm looking for. I don't even know if there's anything there." Anna struggled to find the words. "But I'll never get the answers to you in time."

"You'll have the answers for yourself. That's what matters. You'll put it all right. You'll put it right for me." Her Gran slumped against the pillows. "I'm going to rest now. I've talked for far too long."

"Sleep Gran, I'll be here when you wake up."

Anna held her grandmother's hand in her own, knowing she would never wake again. When Nurse Moorsum entered the room again she saw Anna still holding her grandmother's cold hand as tears dripped off her cheeks. She sniffed when she saw Nurse Moorsum and wiped away the tears threatening to fall from her chin. She gathered her breath to speak, sniffing a final time.

"I think you've got some papers I need to sign?"

"You don't have to now."

"I think I should." Anna drew a shuddering breath, "I've got a few things I need to set right and this'll set the ball rolling."


	2. The Sun Also Rises

Anna pulled at the leather gloves on her hands before indenting her fingers to tighten them so they creaked. She swallowed hard as the simple casket lowered into the earth in front of the double headstone with each winch of the nylon straps. Mary stood just behind her and put a hand on Anna's shoulder. Crossing her chest to put her hand over Mary's without turning, Anna nodded at the unspoken question.

Once the thump sounded, sending a shiver through Anna as the casket settled in the concrete vault, she stepped forward. In Jewish tradition, Anna took a handful of dirt and threw it over the top of the shining box. As she stepped back everyone gathered around the grave did the same before passing on their condolences in hushed voices. Anna barely nodded at each one before they made their way to their cars, leaving her standing alone beside the partially filled hole.

"How you holding up?" Mary whispered behind Anna as she wiped at her eyes a final time.

"About as you'd expect." Anna turned and they kept their steps slow, nodding and thanking the attendees as they left the grave.

"Weeping silently every few minutes?"

"About that well."

"Then you're about average." Mary shrugged, wrapping her arm through Anna's. "It was a lovely service. Even if your grandmother wasn't Jewish."

"My grandfather was and she wanted the service like his." Anna looked back over her shoulder. "They're together now, that's all that matters."

"And it went off better than expected, given how divisive your Gran was."

"Better that my mother isn't here." Anna sighed, "There's a God because she couldn't make it."

"The Jewish God or the Anglican God?"

"Either or in this case."

"He probably just downed a plane somewhere. Or gave her an STI." Mary tried to hide her snort but Anna joined her in a moment of laughter before they settled into the somber mood again. "I guess her South Asian excursion was too important for the funeral?"

"But not the will reading," Anna held up a finger, "She'll be back in time to see what she can pick from the carcass of this."

"Vulture."

"I always associated her with carrion birds."

"And some of our least favorite reptiles."

"Whatever works." Anna paused, "Thanks for being here for me."

"What are friends for?"

"You know you're more like family to me."

"More like family if your Gran'd not cut herself off from us." Mary paused, "Imagine, we could've grown up playing together."

"I'm sure Uni was soon enough for us to meet." Anna shrugged, "We had plenty of adventures then and we'll have more later."

"What adventures those were." Mary mused and then pursed her lips, "Like the adventures we could've had in Oz had I been invited on this particularly secretive Australian excursion. I didn't realize things between us were invitation only these days. If so, I'd have made a reservation."

"I've told you, this isn't a holiday."

"You took days for it."

"Because they're what I had." Anna shook her head, "They don't give you a month for bereavement and this is a family matter."

"What family have you got down there?"

"Not sure yet but I'll find out." Anna stopped at the edge of the cemetery, looking at the church. "She never missed a week here."

"I'm still surprised they allowed not one but two Jewish style burials here."

"I think my grandparents' donations were enough for Father Travis to turn a blind eye to the 'sacrilege' of it all." Anna squinted a bit against the harsh sun. "Every week though, like clockwork. Until the doctor's ordered her to stay in the home because she was, and I quote, 'too fragile'."

"That woman wasn't fragile." Mary snorted, "She was probably one of the most capable women I've ever met."

"I know. She got her nurse to sneak her out until the end." Anna sighed, "She was always a bit…"

"Odd?"

"That's not fair."

"The woman's dying wish was for you to go on an Australian excursion." Mary shrugged, "Tell me how that's not odd."

"It's more like walking in her footsteps."

"She never went to Oz."

"Making up for her footsteps then." Anna gruffed, "Don't be such a pedant."

"You're the one telling lies."

"Well she told me, on her literal deathbed, that she planned a trip to Oz decades ago and never went because I came into her and Grandad's life."

"Doesn't sound like she was too gutted about missing it."

"That's the thing, I don't think it was a holiday for them either."

"Then why go where all the animals are bred to kill you?"

Anna flailed a hand. "I think it was a fact-finding trip and I think she wants me to find something there."

Mary scrunched up her face. "Find what?"

"I don't know. She told me all the details for the trip are in this old travel guide tucked next to a book of fairy tales she used to read me."

"A travel guide?"

"The one she and my Grandad bought for their trip."

"They saved it?" Mary blinked, "There's a sincere tragedy in that."

"I don't think it was lost nostalgia or something they wept over in the dark of the night when I couldn't hear them."

"Then why leave you a useless travel guide?"

"Because she said I should follow the route they planned for their trip. The roads and locations that'll take me to someplace called 'Snowy River'."

"Snowy River?"

"Yeah," Anna huffed, "Wherever the Hell that is."

"Northeast of Melbourne." Anna stopped and Mary hurried to explain. "There was a movie in the eighties called _The Man from Snowy River_ and my mother was a big fan. Something very American about an Australian movie I guess. I don't know. She always held a torch for Kirk Douglas."

"I guess he was a decent actor." Anna watched all the others leaving in their cars. "My Gran also told me she's been writing to your grandmother lately. And your mother-in-law."

"Really?" Mary smiled, "So you're going to be part of the family for real now?"

"I don't know. My grandmother was still adopted so even if she did accept the legal nature of it, we're still not technically cousins." Anna shoved at Mary, "But I did accept your grandmother's dinner invitation. I hope you're coming."

"Only if she promises to give us the details on the Australia thing."

"You mean her father finding my grandmother on a train platform?"

"Not sure what other one we'd all know enough about to make it a topic of conversation but if you're going to be obtuse about it then yes, that thing."

Anna rolled her eyes, "I don't know if she knows anything."

"It's my grandmother. She knows everything." Mary led them to the last remaining car. "And I want to know everything too."

"Why?"

"Knowing is half the battle."

"But you're not fighting this battle Mary."

"Anna…" Mary pouted but Anna shook her head.

"I'm still not taking you on this trip. I only just managed to blend my bereavement leave with my amassed holiday and it barely covers a month. You don't have the days and this is personal."

"You think I'll make it impersonal?"

"I think you'll struggle to pay your rent if you're not working."

"Because you really think you'll need that much time to go to a little town near Melbourne?" Mary snorted, "It's probably small enough to toss a rock and hit the outermost house."

"I think I need that much time because I don't know what I'm looking for there. I don't believe that I'll 'know it when I find it' so I've got to search. Who knows how long that'll take." Anna opened the door on her side as Mary took the driver's seat. "It was nice of Chief Hughes to give me the time off. Even if it's inconvenient."

"You're the favorite, remember?"

Anna grinned, "She's only sore because Superintendent Carson lets you get away with murder."

"I resent that."

"Because it's true."

"It's not true."

"Mary, that man would open a vein for you if you asked him too."

"We're not the same blood type." Mary muttered before sighing, "And it is inconvenient you know."

"I know."

"They'll probably put me with Blake while you're gone. Or worse," Mary cringed, "Edith."

"They're not going to put you with Edith."

"Why not? It'd be Hughes's revenge on me. It's perfect and simple."

"It's also simple that Edith's a reporter and putting her with you represents a security risk and possible insurance problem."

"I'm still a partner short in my car." Mary shook her head, steering them toward the wake. "I can see it. Hughes's retribution for all those times I was 'the Blessed Lady Mary'. She'll put Edith in my car."

"The Met's not in the habit of putting reporters in the cars of active detectives because we're not in a contrived television show." Anna sighed, "You'll probably just get Blake and you could do worse than him."

"He's insistent and a know-it-all so I could also do a lot better than him too."

"Maybe it'll be good for the two of you to have to deal with the mutual insufferability. It might be humbling."

"Take that back right now."

"No," Anna teased, "I'm praying you get Blake."

"Stop it Anna."

"It'll give you someone who might allow for a moment of silence when you stop arguing with one another."

"I don't want silence. Silence, in our job, is terrifying because it means the pin's about to drop."

"Penny's always in the air I guess." Anna rested her elbow on the door and leaned her head there. "What do you think is down there?"

"Down where?"

"In Oz."

"Toilets that flush in the opposite direction and an entire ecological system bred to kill humans, like I already mentioned.""

"I meant in regards to my grandmother."

"I don't know." Mary shrugged, "I've not got any idea what possesses someone to put their child on a train and ship them somewhere without the proper identification. My mother once flew me to America and was so worried I'd get lost she arranged for me to have someone chaperoning me the whole way."

"That's cute."

"I was sixteen. Do you understand the humiliation of having someone ask a sixteen-year-old if they need another blanket?"

"I thought that's what flight attendants did."

Mary shuddered, "Not when she's cooing at you. I didn't speak to my mother for a week when I got back."

"And that's when you needed her checkbook right?"

"It might be your grandmother's funeral but I'm not above smacking you in this car if you take another jab at me."

Anna smiled to herself and settled into her seat, face blanking a moment later as thoughts raced through her head. After a moment she tapped the dash. "Drive me to my Gran's."

"Why? You've not been in since before she died." Mary paused, "And I don't think you should go alone."

"It's my decision and you're planning that wake so you're busy."

"You still need a ride because I drove you to the funeral and I'm not taking you all the way to your place and back."

"Then take me to my Gran's and I'll take her car from there."

"That thing's older than you are."

"It still runs. She was smart and bought a Toyota."

"I heard they recalled the model she drove because you should've bought a new car by now."

"Shut up and drive me there."

"Just because it's a funeral doesn't mean you can be bossy." Mary turned the car, ignoring the horns honking around her with a flick of her middle finger at them. "What about the wake?"

"I'll make it."

"You always say that before you miss something I've planned."

"I've got loads of time."

"Another lie you tell yourself when you're going to be late."

Anna groaned, "Look, I just have to look at something at my Gran's. It won't take a minute."

"Then I'll wait outside."

"Okay, it'll take more than a minute."

"What'll take more than a minute."

"It's none of your business."

Mary shook her head, "Whatever it is, It'll be there tomorrow when you clean the place out. And I'll be with you so-"

"It's my flat we're clearing out, not my Gran's house."

"Why?" Mary groaned, "You fought so hard for that lease."

"I know and that's why I sold it over to Sybil."

"Sybil's got dibs on your flat before me?" Mary scoffed, "I thought I was the Crawley sister you liked best."

"You are, so don't get all prickly." Anna rolled her eyes again. "And Sybil needed a place closer to hospital."

"She took the bus."

"And now she'll get a bit more sleep." Anna waved a hand, "Besides, you and Matthew already got that new place locked down right? I assume you did since you had that giddy look on your face last week."

"To assume is-"

"Then I'll be an ass. Just drive, please."

Mary pulled in front of the little cottage house, nestled among others in similar styles and shook her head. "I was always sure a ghost lived in your attic."

"That was just the pipes."

"That's what people say where there's a ghost in there." Mary called as Anna shut the door. "And don't miss the wake. I planned it all myself."

"I won't miss it. I promise." Anna waved her off before Mary could make another argument and took her keychain from her purse to open the door.

The whole place still smelled the same. The hints of spices and that particular must of older people mixed with a lotion Anna never liked on anyone but her grandmother. She shut the door behind her and walked through the dimness of the house to reach the sitting room. Pushing the door open she flipped the switch on the light. It sputtered and then died.

Sighing, Anna pulled out her phone and flicked her thumb up to select the flashlight. Using it to guide her around the room as she avoided the furniture and kinks in the rug large enough to trip her, Anna pulled the drapes back to let in light. With the sudden explosion of natural light, another flick of her finger had the flashlight flipped off so Anna could focus on the room.

She smiled, looking at the two large chairs flanking the old and fake fireplace. Walking to the closer of the two chairs, she slid a hand over the fabric to inhale the scents of cigar smoke, brandy, and what might have been pomade. The smells she forever associated with bedtime stories, late night cocoa, and comfort from night terrors and other horrors. Anna took another whiff and held it, the memories exploding through her brain until they settled back so Anna could open her eyes and take in the room and the next chair.

This chair was a bit more stuffy, the comforts of a woman determined to sink into the confines of her throne and sit in the grandeur comfort allowed. A brush of Anna's fingers brought the smell of the lotion to the air again, a lighter scent of hairspray, and the slight aroma of baked chocolate. Scents that reminded her of times not associated with the bed where her grandmother died. Smells that threatened to overcome her memories with antiseptic and sterility.

Anna moved around the fireplace to the large bookshelf just off her grandmother's chair and crouched down to find the books she needed. Her fingers fumbled around the titles and landed on the ancient travel guide. But when she tried to pull it, the book's waxy cover stuck to the back of the book of fairy tales next to it. A harder tug unstuck the travel guide but also loosened the book of fairy tales. So much so that they both tumbled off the shelf. Anna only caught the travel guide while the book of fairytales crashed down on her foot.

"Bugger." Anna hoped back, wincing and removing her high heel to survey the damage to her toes. A dark bruise swelled immediately and she hissed. "Shit."

Her thumb pressed into the area that throbbed in pain as she bent awkwardly on one leg to grab the larger tome. With her hand already holding the travel guide, she only succeeded in securing the front cover. The same cover that slipped in her grip and crashed the book back to the floor. She only just dodged the second tumble and held herself on the bookshelf before lowering her injured foot back to the ground to free her hand.

Bending to the book of fairy tales, Anna went to knock the cover back in place but noticed the cracked spine. Even with both of her grandparents in the ground, there was a moment of terror that they would notice she damaged the book. A book they were strict about her touching all through her childhood. But then she remembered they were not in their chairs, or their house, or on the earth. They were not there to reprimand her for being careless.

A part of Anna wished they were, if only to just hear their voices again. But she pushed the feelings aside and lifted the book carefully off the floor. An attempted to put the cover back and assess the damage to the spine had Anna inspecting it more closely than she had in years. An inspection that revealed something caught in the binding.

Turning the book in her hands, Anna ran her fingers over the interior decorative sheets, those that hid the tuck of the old binding to the boards used to make the hardback covers, and stopped when they ran over a bulge. A bulge that shifted when she touched it with a finger. A bulge that she forced toward the edge of the binding until it caught on the glue keeping the sheets bound to the cover.

Anna frowned and traced her nail along the paper to tug at a tiny bit separated from the binding. The old glue cracked and crinkled as she tugged enough to separate it from the board of the binding. A separation that pulled the paper back to reveal a small pocket cut into the binding. She squinted, holding the book to the light, and saw the tucks of a piece of paper in the little pocket.

Picking up the travel guide and the book of fairytales, Anna limped her way to the sofa while kicking her shoe forward. Her other shoe dropped to join it a moment later and she turned the book the light to see inside the binding. There, tucked safely inside as she glimpsed a second before, was a thin piece of paper.

Anna worked her fingers into the gap and withdrew it, sliding the paper out with a whiff of something ancient and flowery. Like people who used to dab perfume on their letters or something. Coughing over the scent and the dust, Anna carefully opened the tri-folded paper to see what it was.

There, in an elegant script, was her own name. Anna blinked at it before turning to the top of the paper. Dated October 4, 1931 the letter was addressed to a Rose Smith, aged four, and the name at the bottom, under Anna Smith, labeled her as 'mother'. It was part of a longer post script but it caught Anna off guard all the same.

Confused, Anna stood up and over the back of the sofa toward her grandmother's desk to pull a piece of paper from the printer. She put the newly acquired bit of letter on top of it to try and read the letter more clearly as the faded ink and thinned paper proved difficult to decipher. Adjusting for the age and struggle in making out the slanting, but elegant, script, Anna read it through a few times until she was sure she understood the contents.

Then she pulled out her phone and fumbled it and finally found the voice recorder to read the letter again out loud, the phone taking her recording.

" _My dearest Rose. They won't let me keep you but I can't give you away. Not to them. Not now. Not ever. Not after what I know about them. What I should've always guessed about them but wouldn't allow myself to believe._

 _"_ _I know what I agreed. We all know because I signed a contract. I put it in writing that I knew what I agreed to._

 _"_ _But we didn't really know did we? We thought we would understand, thought it would be simple, but we didn't factor in for emotion. And emotion'll get you every time. That's why I can't do it Rose. That's why I can't let them have you. Can't let_ her _have you. Can't let this farce go on a moment longer._

 _"_ _Please forgive me. Forgive me for making the choice in the first place. Forgive me for agreeing to something that, as I look back on it now, can only see as the grossest of improprieties. Not just because of what I promised where you were concerned. But for what it required us to do._

 _"_ _For how it… Forced us to live a lie._

 _"_ _Forgive me for loving your father when he wasn't mine to love. Forgive him for loving me when I wasn't his to love either. For loving you too._

 _"_ _Because he does love you. We both do. We always will. You're our miracle. You're the gift we wanted to give to one another. But that was the problem. We're weren't supposed to give anything to one another when it wasn't our place to give._

 _"_ _I beg you to take this book, the only thing you'll ever have of mine as I've nothing else to give you, and dream of a better life. I've arranged for you to go and I ached to go with you but if I do then they'll know and they might catch you. They might stop you. I can't have that. I can't watch you raised in her house._

 _"_ _It's a hard thing I ask of you. Harder still to ask it of myself. But that's what mother's do for their daughters. This is what I'll do for you. My last act. My hardest act. My second greatest after giving birth to you._

 _"_ _For that, my dear Rose, was the greatest thing I've ever done in my life. When I delivered you, when the nurse put you in my arms, I knew in that moment that nothing else would ever compare. Nothing could be grander or greater to me than you. And that is how I shall remember you. As a princess, as a Queen, as a pirate, as a fairy, as all the things little girls dream they can be. As all the things I'll dream you can be._

 _"_ _How I wish we could've had more than these four years. More than these stolen moments, And more still, I wish I could know the woman you'll become. If you can, think better on me than I will on myself._

 _"_ _With all the love in my heart, Anna Smith. Your mother and perhaps the angel to watch over you."_

Anna folded the letter again and shut off the recorder. She let the letter and the paper-backing drop onto the book of fairytales. It was long enough that the light in the room turned orange before Anna moved. That was only when her phone vibrated and she slid her thumb across to answer it, shocked from her reverie.

"Yes?"

"Where are you? Tom's already drunk and I think Evelyn's about to declare his undying love to me because he's soused and conveniently forgot that I'm married and therefore extremely unavailable."

"I'll be right there." Anna tucked the book of fairytales closed, the letter secured inside, and grabbed the travel guide.

With the books under one arm, Anna reached up onto the hook to remove her grandmother's car keys before locking the door behind her. The car rumbled to life, smelling of the same lotion and must as the house, and Anna steered it to the specified pub. But her mind was not her own and even parking there had her in a daze as to how she actually managed to get there in one piece.

She hurried inside, leaving the books in the car, and tried to smile at the offers of condolences and the slurred version of her name that followed her weave through the pub. Finding Mary in the back, trying politely to decline a rather morose looking man in his offers to give her a dance, Anna snatched her hand from the man's grip. "Sorry Evelyn but I need Mary."

"Yes," Mary almost grabbed Anna as a shield, "Comforting and consoling a friend, you understand. She needs… me."

"I get it." He sniffed and took the nearest seat, "Life's such a trial when we lose those we love. That's why we need to find others to love and-"

"Okay, we're going now." Anna yanked Mary behind her and they settled into a dark corner booth. "That was awkward."

"If this is your way of coming out to me on this ominous occasion because events have transpired to leave you wishing you'd said things to people before they died and this is the moment you'll do so to me, I'll remind you that I'm very straight and I've got no interest in you in that way. I know we kissed once at Uni but I was drunk and-"

"What? No, gross."

"Why's that gross?"

"Because I'm not into you." Anna waved her hand to shut Mary up, "I just needed you here so I could have you listen to something without someone overhearing us."

"Listen to what?"

"This." Anna pulled out her phone and struggled to untangle a pair of earbuds before thrusting both at Mary.

She frowned but unwound the buds enough to get them into her ears. Anna hooked up the jack and played the recording. Practically sitting on the edge of her seat, Anna watched as Mary interlaced her fingers, leaving her pointer fingers up, and rested them on her lips. The same pose she adopted when listening to interviews with suspects. With that kind of concentration Anna held her breath.

When the recording stopped Mary unwound the buds from her ears and passed the apparatus back to Anna. "I hope you didn't get lonely in your grandmother's house and what you just read me was the opening to your novel."

"I'm not writing a novel."

"Everyone's always writing a novel Anna. We've all got at least one good one inside us somewhere."

"Be that assumption as it may," Anna shook her head, "This isn't a novel. I found that letter in the inside cover of that book of fairytales my grandmother had with her the day they found her on the train platform."

"And no one found it before today?" Mary frowned, "How'd you find it?"

"I'm a good investigator."

"Usually, yes. In this case you'd have to know it was there to look for it. And since you didn't then I'll ask again, how'd you find it?"

"It was tucked away in the cover of the book. Someone had sliced it open and then glued it back together."

"And no one, in eighty something years found it?"

"My grandmother was religious about the care of that book. I only found it because it got caught on the shelf and then the spine cracked when I dropped it on my foot." Anna rubbed her foot as the pain flared again. "Still not sure it was worth the trouble of discovery but what'll you do?"

"Brutal." Mary winced, "If a bit convenient."

"I've got a bruise that says it's bloody inconvenient but that's not the point." Anna tapped her phone on the table. "My grandmother's real name is Rose Smith."

"If this is even talking about your grandmother."

"The dates match, Mary."

"Okay, it's your Gran." Mary shrugged, "At least they got close with her name then. Lucky for them too."

"What?"

"Well my grandmother's name is Violet and they named your grandmother Lily. The flower pattern remained." Mary waited but Anna only blinked at her. "Because your Gran's real name was Rose and they called her Lily so-"

Anna let out a groan, "Why must you always be so belligerent?"

"Can't help it." Mary sighed "Weird how her mother was named after you though isn't it?"

"Chronologically speaking I think I'm named after her." Anna rested back against the booth. "Gives me a place to start though doesn't it?"

"With an Anna Smith who lived somewhere near Snowy River, Australia in nineteen-thirty?" Mary gave another snort, "Not sure Google's going to be much of a help to you in that department."

"Don't be so cynical. It's more than I had this morning."

"Right, you had an ancient and useless travel guide this morning. But now, miracle of miracles, you've got an old letter with a very common name for a woman who's probably already dead."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence."

"Realism is my specialty."

"I'd call it cynicism."

"Call it what you like, it's pragmatic and keeps me out of the world of wishing for dreams to come true and relying on make-believe. Hope's not a commodity for problem solving." Mary stopped, "What's in the travel guide anyway?"

"From what I've seen, just traces of old routes."

"Train routes, maybe?" Mary shrugged, "I think it might be helpful to talk to someone who might know something about the trains in that time."

Anna closed her eyes "If you try to get yourself in on this trip one more time-"

"No," Mary swatted at her. "I meant my grandmother. Dinner, remember?"

"I thought that wasn't tonight."

"It wasn't but it is now." Mary grabbed Anna's arm, hauling her along as Anna struggled to get her earbuds and phone. "Let's leave the others to their drink and find out more about trains from Snowy River."

* * *

 _She stepped onto the platform, resting her case and carpetbag next to her. The whistle blew behind her and she jumped slightly. A hand came down on her shoulder and she jumped all the higher. But the laugh from the deeper voice calmed her. She looked up to see a man standing there._

 _He tipped his hat to her and even bowed slightly, "Are you Anna Smith?"_

 _"_ _Yes," Anna swallowed, "Am I to assume you're Lord Grange?"_

 _"_ _That' correct but I'd rather you call me Lord John. Or Mr. Bates, it's far less formal and I'd rather we not always stand on ceremony."_

 _"_ _Of course sir." She extended her hand to him. "How do you do, Mr. Bates?"_

 _"_ _Well, very well." He shook her hand in return, "Need any help with your bags?"_

 _"_ _I can manage them, thank you sir."_

 _"_ _Then follow me Ms. Smith."_

 _"_ _Follow you sir?"_

 _"_ _Yes, to the carriage." He pointed, "We'll not be walking to Bushwarden Base."_

 _"_ _Of course." Anna managed her bags, "It would be a bit far."_

 _"_ _Then you know the distance?"_

 _"_ _I've studied the map my whole way here." Anna winced, "I didn't want to get lost on my first day."_

 _"_ _Then the Crawleys didn't tell you that I intended to meet you?"_

 _"_ _Must've slipped their minds."_

 _"_ _Interesting." Lord John gestured, "This way."_

 _They walked off the platform and toward a rather durable looking carriage. A footman leapt off the back to take Anna's bags while another one opened the door for them. Anna gulped as Lord John stepped back for her to enter first and swallowed even harder when she came face-to-face with the woman boasting fierce blue eyes that bored almost to the core of Anna's soul._

 _"_ _Ms. Smith, may I introduce my wife, Vera."_

 _"_ _It'll be Lady Grange to you, Ms. Smith." Her tone brooked no argument and all Anna could do was nod. "I'm the mistress of the house."_

 _"_ _Hence her insistence to meet the new governess for the children of the house." Anna noted the false tone of joviality in Lord John's voice about it. "The protection of the house is her highest priority."_

 _"_ _It's a pleasure to meet you, Lady Grange." Anna extended a trembling hand and Lady Grange barely touched it before drawing back._

 _The pleasure, I'm sure, is all yours for the moment." Her eyes narrowed, "John's said so much about needing a governess and he's on very friendly terms with the family in Melbourne who just had you. Says they sang your praises and raved in all of your references. Not a common occurrence."_

 _"_ _The Crawleys are a generous family and I worked for them for a long time." Anna tucked her knees close together and kept her body stiff as Mr. Bates tapped the roof of the carriage to get them moving. "I'd like to think they're happy for my new opportunity and they spoke highly of Lord John."_

 _"_ _They are one of the best families I know." He nodded at her. "I hope you'll be as happy working with us as you were with them."_

 _"_ _Me too sir." Anna nodded furiously, "Me too."_


	3. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Anna parked her car behind Mary's and grabbed the books from the other seat to bring in with her. Joining her friend on the path, still limping slightly in her heels, Anna spoke in a hushed whisper, "Do you think the barman'll mind that you left the wake before it was over?"

"If you'll notice, I also left Sybil within reach of Tom so I'm sure there are other things we should worry about there."

"That didn't answer my question."

"Because I'm not worried about it. We'll settle it later." Mary pressed the button to hear the buzzer inside. "You'd think she'd invest in a better bell."

"Maybe she likes it the way she likes everything else." Anna snorted, "Frustratingly old fashioned and stuffy."

"Quiet or she'll hear you."

"I'm not scared of her."

"Then you're a fool."

Anna shrugged as the door opened and a gray-haired lady opened the door. She frowned a moment upon seeing them before brightening almost artificially, "Mary, Anna, I thought we weren't scheduled for dinner until tomorrow night."

"Change of plans Isobel." Mary nodded toward the interior. "Mind if we stop in tonight? You'll not need to feed us if you don't want to."

"Nonsense." Isobel waved them in, stepping back to keep the door open for them to enter the little foyer. "I'm sure Cousin Violet will be pleased you've chosen to join us for dinner tonight."

"I'd rather you didn't speak for me when I can speak for myself." Another voice called from the sitting room.

"Don't mind her." Isobel pulled Mary into an embrace and Anna noted the slightly awkward way they kissed one another's cheeks. "It's good to have you over Mary. Been so long since you came without Matthew."

"I'd have thought you liked seeing your son."

"I do, but Girl Time is important." Anna tried to hide her snort at Mary's almost horrified expression as Isobel turned to hug Anna. "I was so sorry to hear about Cousin Lily. It's… it's hard no matter how long you've been expecting it."

"It is but it's nice to know that she was loved by so many and loved so much."

"That's always a comfort." Isobel wiped at her eyes and then frowned at the sitting room. "Let me clear you both seats."

When she whipped away to the sitting room, Anna hissed at Mary. "What was that all about?"

"I thought we were here to talk about you."

"Don't change the subject when I know that awkward little hug thing happened." Anna paused, "Are you and Matthew really-"

"Shhh." Mary waved her hand as if to bat down Anna's comments. "Now's not the time to discuss my marriage."

"Anytime before now would've been preferable but since you've elected not to tell me-"

"All ready for you."

The door to the sitting room opened and Anna led the way at Isobel's invitation, exchanging a brief scowl with Mary as she did so. Isobel guided them to the sofa and took her seat next to an older woman tightly gripping a cane in one hand while the other kept a tiny pair of reading glasses on her nose. She hummed quietly with a note of disapproval at the presence of Anna and Mary on her sofa.

"What've we done to earn such a visit from women of the world?"

"You make us sound like prostitutes." Mary sniffed, "And we're coming on your invitation."

"My invitation?" Violet raised an eyebrow, "If I extended an invitation I'd have written it in my diary and since there's nothing written there I'll note that you weren't invited. Much as I love surprise visits from my granddaughter."

"I invited them to dinner." Isobel smiled in a way that told everyone in the room she planned it so Violet would have no hand in the arrangements or say in the matter. "I thought it an appropriate way to aid Anna in these difficult times. Lily was our sister after all and she'd want us to look out for her granddaughter."

"The sister who decided we weren't good enough for her." Violet let her reading glasses drop on top of the open book on her table before taking her cane in both hands. It supported her like a third limb but operated almost of its own accord as it formed a third leg for Violet to stand on, should she need another. "I didn't think she wanted us to do anything for her."

"That was your assumption, not mine."

"I'm sorry," Anna cut in, "I thought only Violet was her sister."

"We were raised in the same household. That's how you saved money in the sixties. Extended relatives and multiple generations to the same rooms. Since we all lived in the same house we simply called ourselves sisters. It was simpler than explaining our relationship through the lines as cousins, however distantly we're actually related." Isobel sighed, "Families were closer then."

"So was disease." Mary muttered and Anna bit her lip to restrain her response. "We've actually come to talk about Great-Aunt Lily, Grandmama."

"I'd assume that's what we were discussing since you're here." Violet sniffed, "But I've nothing to say about her."

Mary frowned, "You've always got something to say about everyone."

"I'm following the principle that if I can't say anything nice I'd better not say anything at all." A snort from Mary had Violet ruffling her feathers in indignation. "What do you find funny about that?"

"Since when do you keep your opinions to yourself?"

"Since I've turned over a new leaf." Her cane raised and Anna put out a hand to stop it falling in a potential strike on Mary.

"Alright, I think we've missed the mark here." She cleared her throat, holding the books out for Violet to see. "Do you recognize these?"

"I vaguely recognize that monstrosity." She waved a hand at the book of fairy tales. "I was only eight when she left the house and never came back and all I remember about that book was she forbade me to touch it."

"I can't see that stopping you." Isobel kept her gaze forward, missing the scowl Violet threw in her direction. "But I remember that book a bit myself. She read me some of those stories when she watched me as a little girl."

"Then you know what it is?"

"It's all she had from her real family, as far as our family knew." Isobel shrugged, "It was the worst kept secret because she didn't look anything like the rest of us. Blonde hair, a rather willowy build, and skin fairer than any you'd find in the Crawley family."

"Then what exactly happened?" Anna held up the travel guide as she left the larger tome on the sofa next to her. "Because twenty or so years ago she and my Grandad were all set to go to Oz on a vacation and they tracked some routes in here but I haven't a clue what any of them really mean."

"May I?" Violet held out her hand and Anna passed the travel guide to her. Violet frowned at the pages, pulling up her reading glasses to stop herself squinting at the notes and drawings, and then closed the book. Handing in back to Anna she spoke. "Those are the train lines that ran from Snowy River to Melbourne in 1931."

"All of them?"

"If I remember my father's maps correctly and I've reason to doubt my memory now." Violet shifted in her chair with a self-satisfied smile. "I've an excellent memory and I miss very little."

"So people age like wine." Mary managed and Violet only raised her eyebrow at her. "What?"

"I know a back-handed compliment when I hear one."

"Well I-"

"1931," Anna interrupted, scowling at Mary to silence her, "The year your parents found my grandmother on the platform yes?"

Violet nodded, "My father told me he was working that morning, he was the station master there in Melbourne, and he saw this little girl climb off a train all by herself. He waited but no one else got off and his examination of the car revealed it was a storage car, not even a proper carriage."

"I'm sorry," Anna held up a hand, "Was that… especially unusual? I'm not familiar with train habits in Early-30's Australia."

"It was about as expected as the hobos in America at the same period."

Anna blinked, "She was a vagrant child?"

"No," Isobel shook her head, pointing at the book of fairy tales. "I know that cover doesn't look like much to behold now but in its day there was gold inlay on the pages, lovely etchings on the covers, a binding surer than steal, and the finest penmanship I've ever seen. Not something you hand a homeless child. And not something a mother would keep when she could've sold it for food."

"That and her clothes, according to hand-me-downs I wore for a time, were fine as well." Violet sighed, "No, wherever your grandmother came from, there was money there and someone used it on her."

Anna took a deep breath, "My grandmother told me, on her deathbed, she started writing you again." She fiddled with her hands a moment, "Would you tell me what about?"

"She wanted any details we might still have about where she came from." Isobel shook her head. "Even after scouring all of the family records and the journals and diaries we could find, all we discovered was speculation that perhaps she was an illegitimate child of someone in Snowy River and they wanted to send her away to rid themselves of scandal. Even with all the records available at the time, it would've been almost impossible to prove one way or the other."

"She was four years old. Isn't it a bit late by that point?" Mary finally spoke again. "If you're going to get rid of a child then isn't it easier to get rid of a baby than an actual child when you're trying to hide a scandal?"

"Things were different in those days. It could've been a problem with money." Isobel offered her own shrug as explanation.

"Based on what you've told us about her clothes and her book I'd say not." Mary tapped the edge of the indicated tome, turning to Anna. "Did you want to show them the letter?"

"Letter?" Violet frowned, "What letter?"

"I found it tucked into the cover binding of the book, by accident." Anna withdrew it carefully, holding it back to the printer paper to be sure the writing was visible. "It was addressed to my grandmother but it calls her 'Rose', not 'Lily'."

Violet and Isobel held the letter between them, Violet's reading glasses coming up for a second time. After a moment, Isobel finishing before Violet, they handed it back. Neither spoke and Anna tucked the letter away again.

"Well?"

"I think it's a pity you found this letter now instead of when our father was alive." Violet's voice sounded different. Not the brusque, self-assured, arrogant woman from before but the contemplative, sorrowful, and mourning woman she truly was. "He knew everyone there was to know and he could've told you who that 'Anna Smith' was. Even if she did live as far away as Melbourne."

"Is it odd, that I'm named after someone my own grandmother didn't even know?" Anna hurried to explain as the two women furrowed their brows in sync. "I mean, I know they're very common names but of all the names to choose…"

"Perhaps it's a latent memory." Isobel offered, "Given her age when the letter was written and the ability of children to remember, it's possible that while she couldn't consciously tell her adoptive father the name of her mother when he found her that her subconscious still retrained the information."

"What are the chances of that?" Mary scoffed, "It's wishful thinking."

"I'll take what I can at this point." Anna put the travel guide back on the book of fairy tales and held them both balanced on her knees. "Thank you. You've both given me a lot to think about."

"I do hope you're staying for dinner." Isobel stood as Anna and Mary did.

Anna turned to Mary, "You did say there would be food and I haven't eaten."

Mary sighed, "Alright. But we're not staying longer than three courses and there's to be no drinking. We're both driving ourselves home tonight and I don't want that on my conscience."

"Excellent." Isobel grabbed Mary's arm, "Now, Mary, I'd like your help in the kitchen. There's something I need to talk with you about."

Anna watched Isobel steer Mary away and jumped slightly when Violet's hand went to her arm. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting that."

"I don't usually do that either so consider us both surprised." Violet paused, her mouth moving slowly as if carefully forming her words. "Your grandmother did a noble thing when she took you in."

Anna sank back to the sofa, nodding. "I know."

"And this trip you're taking, is it to repay her?"

"In a way, I guess." Anna stroked her hand along the book of fairy tales. "She asked me to do it when she was dying and I thought… I thought 'why not'."

Violet nodded, her fingers flexing on the head of her cane. "I can't say I was very sympathetic to the position my father put your grandmother in when she was twenty-one. It wasn't fair to her. Not at that age or that time."

"Telling her, you mean?" Another nod. "Why would you say that?"

"Because my father thought she deserved to know but that kind of information, especially at that age and the times we lived in then, was too much to handle. Not that many handle it well at any age but when she was setting out into the world and trying to define herself… It was cruel."

"Would it be better at any age?"

"I honestly can't say." Violet sighed, "My family left Melbourne for England during the war. It was harrowing enough trying to get here and then we could only find a place to live with relatives over in the East End and we survived the rest of the war in bomb shelters. If you're in the aftermath of something like that and you find out that the foundation that kept you solid all your life isn't solid anymore… Everything you used to define yourself is ripped away. And we didn't have much to keep us stable to begin with. He took what little she had when he told her the truth."

"I could see that. Might even sympathize with that, given how I grew up." Anna waited a moment, licking her lips for something to do. "Why did she leave?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Even if she knew she wasn't your blood family any longer, you were still the only family she'd ever known. What would drive her to leave?"

Violet sat back in her chair, "I think she wanted to know where she came from. She wanted to know why her parents abandoned her and, unfortunately, she never found that note."

"But why leave the parents who wanted her?"

"She didn't feel whole until she knew the story." Violet laughed, "But trying to find someone back then? It was easier to think she could swim to Australia than actually find proof of her real parents without names or dates or anything solid but a train station and a rough time of day for the train's arrival and the literal clothes off her back as her guideposts."

"And that was it?" Anna held her hands out. "She showed up on that platform and no one came looking for her?"

"My parents spent the next eleven years in Melbourne and they never saw a single sign or poster or heard a word asking for information on a missing girl."

"Then, when she found out she wasn't a Crawley, it was about more than just why they didn't want her." Anna closed her eyes, "It was about why they even bothered in the first place."

"I'd think so but Lily never shared that kind of information with me. When she left the house she cut off all contact but the occasional card on my birthday. She could not speak to my parents and they only knew she was well when they received that wedding announcement in fifty-two."

"My granddad?"

"Yes. And the one time I met him, without your grandmother because she refused to come, he seemed a lovely man." Violet winced, "Your mother, on the other hand… As I said earlier, I'm trying not to speak ill of others."

"No need to keep those feelings to yourself." Anna scoffed, "Whatever you feel about her I promise I feel it more acutely."

"Did she come, to the funeral?"

Anna shook her head, "She'll be at the will reading but that's it."

"Bad apples occasionally fall from the best trees."

"Not sure the woman who got pregnant after a three-day drunken orgy is really the kind best defined by 'bad apple'." Anna turned her head as the sitting room door opened again, Mary popping her head in.

"Supper's ready, if you're still interested in food."

"Yes." Anna left the books on the sofa and helped Violet to stand. "Thank you, for telling me all of this."

"I think, in the end, your grandmother just wanted to find out where she belonged. Just wanted to find her place in the great unknown."

"I think we all want that."

* * *

 _She sat back, breathing a sigh in time with the gurgle of water from the small spigot in the man-made pond. Her gaze turned there, smiling to herself as the tiny fish swam about their domain as if nothing bothered them, and it so engrossed her the hand on her shoulder made her jump. She turned in a hurry, putting a hand to her heart and laughing at the sight of Lord John holding up his hands in surrender._

 _"_ _I seem to have a rather poor habit of startling you quite badly, Ms. Smith."_

 _"_ _It's my own fault for not keeping my ears open I think. If I let myself get distracted then the results are of my own making." Ms. Smith pointed to the bench, "Would you like a seat milord?"_

 _"_ _If you don't mind." He sat next to her, breathing deeply. "I've only just finished an inspection of the estate and it's rather worn me out."_

 _"_ _You've got a beautiful spread of land here." Ms. Smith shrugged to herself, "I guess every blessing comes with its curses."_

 _"_ _Don't they just." He turned over his shoulder a moment as if to check something and she copied him._

 _"_ _Is there something the matter?"_

 _"_ _Not at all." He laughed, settling, "I was just making sure no one knew I was here so they can't come and spoil the quiet with questions."_

 _"_ _If you want quiet then I'll just-" She went to stand but his hand touched hers._

 _"_ _No, please stay. I could use company that's not seeking my opinion, my approval, or my signature." His fingers lingered only a moment longer and then dropped. "If it's not too much to ask, I'd be grateful for your company."_

 _"_ _But you're in need of the quiet."_

 _His eyes met hers, "Ms. Smith, I do not need the quiet so much that I'd give up your company to have it."_

 _"_ _I'll be honest" Ms. Smith pushed her palms against her knees through the material of her skirt. "I didn't realize you valued my company so highly."_

 _"_ _Higher than you know.." Lord John's fingers flexed, as if he wished to hold her hand but he did not move back to touch her. "Please stay."_

 _"_ _Since you asked so politely, how could I refuse." She settled more comfortably in her seat, her knee bouncing slightly until she stilled it with a claw-like grip of her hand. In the moment of silence her fingers wriggled over one another until she interlaced them in her lap with more force than she intended. "I came here-"_

 _"_ _Can I-" They both laughed awkwardly as they tried to speak over one another but John motioned to her. "Ladies, first."_

 _"_ _Ever the gentleman."_

 _"_ _I endeavor to be the man my mother made me."_

 _"_ _She'd be proud of her efforts." Ms. Smith smiled before noting the fall of Lord John's expression. "I'm sorry, have I said something wrong?"_

 _"_ _No," He shook his head. "It's just… She passed a few years ago and no one speaks of her. Not in the house, anyway."_

 _"_ _May I ask why not?"_

 _"_ _She and my wife didn't get on." Lord John shrugged, "Competing expectations."_

 _"_ _Sounds rather difficult."_

 _"_ _It wasn't easy." He straightened, "You had something you wanted to say."_

 _"_ _I…" Ms. Smith stopped herself, half-chuckling. "I was just going to say that I actually came here for a bit of quiet myself."_

 _"_ _Is the house too noisy for you?"_

 _"_ _Not at all." Ms. Smith faced him, "But there does come a time when you've had as many sobbing children as you can stand for the hour and you've got to rescue your own faculties before you can hope to help them reconstitute theirs."_

 _"_ _I thought we hired you as the governess, not the nursemaid." Lord John frowned, "Have the nannies not been-"_

 _"_ _They've been lovely but… It seems to be good at one, you must have some experience with the other." She smiled, "But I'm more than capable to handle your children, Lord John."_

 _"_ _They're not mine." His voice was soft and she turned toward him._

 _"_ _I'm sorry?"_

 _"_ _They're not my children." Lord John waved a hand back toward the large house. "They're orphans, most of them, and those that have parents can't be claimed by them. They simply live here instead of where they can't be wanted."_

 _"_ _You're raising other people's children?"_

 _He nodded, "It was what I could do with a big house I couldn't stand to bear being empty any longer."_

 _"_ _And your own children…"_

 _"_ _Lady Vera doesn't want children. Never has and ardently refuses to have a hand in raising any of the children currently on the estate." Lord John squinted into the distance but Ms. Smith guessed he had no real focus for his gaze. What he wanted to see was too abstract for the concrete world. "She tolerates my necessity to be involved in the lives of others but she won't have it for herself. Believes the strain and the risk are too great and doesn't care to be bothered."_

 _Ms. Smith swallowed, "Excuse me, milord, I had no right to inquire as to the details of your… I mean, I hope I haven't made you uncomfortable."_

 _"_ _Not at all." He smiled at her but Ms. Smith noted the sorrow holding the corners of his eyes. "It's nice to finally say something about it."_

 _"_ _Then, if it's not too improper to say, I think it's her great loss milord." He faced her and Ms. Smith could swear her face blushed as crimson as the flowers in the bed behind her bench. "It's just… I've seen how you interact with the children here, milord, and I see your potential to be a great father had you been given the chance."_

 _His eyes met hers and it was as if the world stopped turning. She could look nowhere else but into his eyes. All she wanted to do was lose herself there._

 _Finally, he spoke, "Thank you Ms. Smith."_

 _"_ _My pleasure, Lord John."_

 _"_ _Please," He held up a hand, "When we're alone, please call me 'John'. I… I want my name to be used kindly once in awhile."_

 _"_ _I don't know if I could do that."_

 _"_ _If you don't want-"_

 _"_ _That's… That's not what I meant." She hurried to say. "I wouldn't want to put us on uneven footing. If I'm to call you 'John' then I'll insist you call me 'Anna'. It's only fair. If we're to be… friends, then I'd want us on equal terms."_

 _"_ _Is that what we are?" His eyes narrowed, as if studying her to the core. "Are we friends… Anna?"_

 _Anna forced herself to nod, "I'd very much like to think so."_

 _He smiled at her, standing and taking her hand to help her do so as well. With her hand in his, he brought it to his lips and kissed the back of it. Anna's heart raced and the skin of her hand burned with his attentions. To the point where she regretted that he had to pull away._

 _"_ _Then, it'll be my pleasure to address you as Anna."_

 _"_ _And mine to call you John." She smiled and ran her fingers gently over the hand he kissed. "I was curious…"_

 _"_ _About?"_

 _"_ _What were you going to ask." Anna hurried to explain as John's brow furrowed in confusion. "Before, when you allowed me to speak first, we got rather off the question you were about to ask me."_

 _"_ _Oh," John smiled and Anna wanted to keep the genuine joy there. "I wanted to know if I could ask for your company here more often. A place to… Have the quiet and speak with a friend."_

 _"_ _Do you need a friend?"_

 _"_ _Don't we all?"_

 _Anna took her turn scrutinizing his face before nodding, "I believe we do."_

 _"_ _Then you'll be mine?"_

 _"_ _I think I already am."_


	4. The Reading of the Will

Rubbing at the bridge of her nose, Anna finally turned to the lawyer with an intense mustache. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Murray, for taking up so much of your time."

"It's not a problem Ms. Smith. Truly not-"

"I'm here!" A woman burst through the door, a shopping bag dangling from her arm and Anna closed her eyes before burying her face in one of her hands as the woman dropped heavily into the seat next to her. "I'm sorry. I lost track of time and then Romero wanted to… Well, you should never turn down a horny twenty-five-year-old, if you know what I'm saying."

"Oh my Hell." Anna shook her head, turning to the wall as her mother continued speaking.

"And then I just saw this dress and couldn't risk watching another woman wear it so I said, 'What the hell? There's going to be enough to pay off this card by the end of today so let's celebrate.' And I did."

She went to reach into the bag but Mr. Murray finally found his voice. "I think, Mrs. Smith, that's-"

"Mrs. Smith?" Anna's mother cackled her laugh, wheezing slightly at the end in solidarity with her life-long devotion to the pack of cigs she dug from her purse before knocking one into her palm. "Mrs. Smith was my mother when she married my father. I've always been Ms. Smith."

Her long-nailed hand dug like a claw into Anna's shoulder while the other placed the fag between her teeth before searching out a lighter. "Like my daughter here. Birds of a feather."

"Not hardly." Anna worked herself free and faced Mr. Murray to the tune of a lighter clicking. "I know this isn't in your normal schedule, Mr. Murray, but thank you for doing this at my mother's insistence."

"It's what they always do in television shows and movies." She stated at Anna, the condescension in her tone setting Anna's teeth on edge just as the smoke from the lit cigarette wafted toward her. "That's how you're supposed to do it. To make sure it's all fair."

"Unfortunately, Ms. Smith… Senior," Mr. Murray coughed, "There's nothing to contend as the will is rather straightforward."

"I'd hope so." Ms. Smith pointed between she and Anna. "There are only two of us. Maths was never my subject but I know it isn't hard to divide by two."

"And even less difficult to divide by one." Mr. Murray coughed again as the smoke moved toward him. Anna furrowed her brow as his fingers worried the page in his hand while he gathered his breath to speak. "As Mrs. Lily Smith's will stands, she left the entirety of her earthly belongings, holdings, monies, and other effects to Ms. Anna May Smith."

Anna wished a second later she had taken the moment of shock to cover her ears. Instead she endured the loud screech her mother emitted that caused both she and Mr. Murray to cringe. Ms. Smith almost kicked her chair back in her haste to slam her palms on the desk, her fag leaving her fingers so Anna stomped it out before it could light the rug on fire.

"Bloody hell she gets it all."

"Mrs. Smith was very clear in her will, as you can see-" Mr. Murray went to show Ms. Smith the section but she tore it from his fingers and flung it away. Given that it was paper, the flutter as it landed rather took away from her dramatic action.

"I won't accept it. That old bitch wouldn't be so cruel as to leave me nothing."

"I don't know anything about cruelty, Ms. Smith. I only know what Mrs. Smith wrote in her will and you, I'm sorry to say, are not listed as one of the beneficiaries of her will."

"I'm her only daughter."

"Maybe you shouldn't have abandoned her then." Anna stood, extending a hand to Mr. Murray. "Thank you, Mr. Murray, for allowing this meeting to take place. Please send me anything still to be resolved. Credit cards, open accounts, etc. I'll have it handled before I leave the country."

"Of course Ms. Smith. I'll have the account examined and settled presently."

"Thank you." Anna grabbed her things and put her bag on her shoulder to leave the office. The clack of ridiculous heels followed her toward the door.

"Leave the country?" Anna ignored her mother's implied question and left the office for the corridor. "Where are you going?"

"None of your business." Anna pressed the button for the lift and pivoted with her mother's manipulation of her shoulder to face her. At the force of Anna's scowl, her mother removed her hand and tried to recover her dignity despite the office watching them. Anna glanced at those watching and lowered her voice but kept her tone direct. "I'd advise you not to do that again."

"Why?"

"Because I might forget it's you and resort to the training that will break your wrist." The doors dinged open and Anna stepped inside, her mother hurrying to follow with her bag swinging. "Hope you left the tag on that dress."

"Don't you speak to me that way."

"I'll speak to you however I like seeing as I'm an adult." Anna reached to press another button but her mother batted her hand away and forced Anna to face her. "What do you want?"

"I want you to say that you wouldn't dare leave me out of that money."

"What money? Gran didn't have any money. All I'm resolving is anything she's got left on her credit cards or the house. Those are expenses and, judging by your track record, you've not got the means to settle any of those."

"There's got to be something somewhere. Like a shoebox under a mattress."

"You watch too many movies." Anna shook her head and snaked her arm to hit the button before her mother could stop her again. "I don't even know why you showed up at all. It's not like you could've expected to get anything."

"I was her only daughter."

"And look at how you cocked that up." Anna snorted, "You hadn't even seen her in twenty years."

"I sent postcards."

"Pleading for more money when 'boyfriend of the moment' or 'tour group of the time' decided to abandon your mooching ass at a bus station somewhere abroad. Or when they just got tired of you and snuck off in the middle of the night and left you with ridiculous bills that Gran and Grandad paid."

"That's their job, to support their children."

"You were in your thirties. And forties and fifties and…" Anna slipped through the lift doors, trying to leave her mother behind so she could not make a scene in the lobby. "Real contact and conversation aren't like that."

"I'm sorry I was busy living my life."

"Too busy to try and raise me, that's for sure." The cold air whipped Anna in the face and she shivered slightly, pulling her jacket tighter around herself. "What could you have expected after what you did?"

"I was hoping for a bit of gratitude."

"You know what," Anna pivoted to face her mother. "You're right. Thank you for not being a horrible person and leaving me in a dumpster or a hospital rubbish bin. Thank you for dropping me on my grandmother's doorstep and then skidding away with you boyfriend. That was a wonderful moment for me."

"Don't be so sore about it."

Anna raised a finger, holding back what she wanted to say until she could deflate. "Never mind. I've got to get back to work and finish that report."

"That's right. Because you're leaving the country."

"That's right."

"Then you'll need someone to house sit for you." Ms. Smith's shoes clacked on the cobbles as she trailed Anna to the Tube station. "Someone responsible."

"Wouldn't be you and I've got a house sitter." Anna went to get on the escalators but her mother pulled her back.

"I need that money."

"I told you, there isn't any money." Anna's eyes narrowed, "What kind of trouble are you in?"

"I'm maxed out on all my cards and Romero…" She shuffled into a shrug, "He's not cheap to keep around."

"Wow." Anna blew out a puff of air. "I can't believe you're still a child."

"Excuse me?"

"You're sixty, for godssake." Anna almost yelled, but kept her voice down when people flicked their eyes toward them. "You're supposed to be settled and self-sufficient and capable. But you're not. What if I had a child right now and I needed you to take care of her?"

"What if you did?"

"I couldn't leave her at your door." Anna shook her head, backing away. "Even if there was any money, you wouldn't deserve it. You didn't know your mother at all. Just like how you don't know me."

"Like you knew your grandmother." Ms. Smith sneered. "She had more secrets than Victoria does."

"But I know some of them now and I'm going to find out the rest."

"And you're not going to let me help you?"

"Help me?" Anna laughed, "That's… Is this all a joke to you? Like you can keep living your life like this?"

"It's worked so far."

"Because your parents were nice people." Anna shook her head, "I'll not support you he way they did."

"You'd abandon your mother?"

"You abandoned me so I think the poetic justice is just about right." Anna turned on her heel, leaving her mother at the top of the escalators.

The ride to the station jostled and bucked as always but Anna barely noticed. Her body moved almost on autopilot so when she sat down in her chair she could not rightly say exactly how she got there. Probably the same way she did every day, she guessed.

"Hey?" Anna looked up as a small wad of paper bounced off her nose. "How'd it go with the solicitor and the Vulture?"

"Gran left me everything and my mother got nothing but her own comeuppance." Anna pulled a file toward her, scanning the contents before signing off at the bottom and adding it to the pile by her desk.

"Not as if we didn't see that coming." Mary signed off on her own file and then they pushed their respective piles toward one another to start checking them over again. "So ,Ms. Smith gets nothing and you get… a musty old house, a too-old car, and a trip to Oz. Sounds about like how life's gone for you so far."

"Not exactly the grand inheritance most people expect when you say that your grandmother died and left you everything."

"It's not what I'm expecting when my grandmother dies."

Anna looked up, "What are you expecting?"

"Nothing." Mary finished the folder and tossed it behind her to land in another tray. "She's leaving it all to Edith."

"Why?"

"Says Edith needs to feel the love?" Mary shrugged, "I don't get that. I think there's a reason people don't get love."

"Can't have anything to do with how the two of you hiss like cats around one another can it?" Anna suggested and dodged another paper wad missile. "Or maybe you're Canadian Geese."

"Why would you reference Canadian Geese?"

"When I did year abroad in Alberta there was this exchange student in my program from Mexico and he didn't have the translation for Canadian Goose. So he got on the wrong side of one and it hissed at him. Because they hiss at you, in case you were wondering."

"I wasn't."

"Anyway, he comes into our lab, all petrified, and when we ask him why all he could muster up was, 'I don't like those hissing cobra birds'."

Mary blinked at Anna, "I'm struggling to get the significance of this story to my predicament about useless Edith getting everything my grandmother's got left."

"It's more that the two of you act like attacking Canadian Geese whenever you're around one another." Anna sighed, "Though I'm less interested in your continuing crusade to destroy your sister's happiness and more curious about whether or not you and Matthew sorted out your little… problem."

"That's just it, isn't it?" Mary put the rest of her stack in the tray and then sat back, fiddling with her pen. "I'm not sure it is my problem."

"You're married to him. That makes his problems yours." Anna shrugged, "It was in your vows and I heard you say it."

"Maybe I did but he said the same things and that should mean that he gets over something that happened years ago. Before we were even a thing."

Anna cringed, "Is he still mad about Pamuk?"

"That's… part of it." Mary shrugged, "He's more frustrated that he feels I'm not including him in the decision-making process. He's convinced I bully him for what I want and that I never listen."

"Sounds like a gender stereotype reversal here." Anna mused, "If this were a movie you'd probably get bad reviews and a host of women would complain about Hollywood being entirely too male-centric."

"Ha bloody ha." Mary almost lobbed another paper missile at Anna but refrained. "And I know I'm a bully and I know I like getting my way but he was all fine with it at the beginning and now, when he chooses to have a backbone about it, he can't even do it right. He went to sleep on the sofa for three nights until he told me what was bothering him before going and telling his mother."

"Is that what-?"

"Yes."

"Oh," Anna nodded, "I thought that felt awkward."

"It was." Mary let her neck hang over the back of her chair. "I just… I don't understand why he's such a child about this. He knew what he was getting when he married me and now he's surprised."

"That's awkward in ways I can't fathom." Anna finished her notes and then pushed them towards Mary. "I'll only be gone a month, max, and then we're back together so try not to divorce your husband before I'm back in the country."

"I'll also try not to fall in love with the person they're giving me in your place." Mary took the notes. "I don't want to lose our estrogen squad."

"Like I said," Anna dug something out of the back of her desk drawer so it fully closed "It'll only be a month."

"You say that like it's nothing."

"It'll have to be nothing." Anna paused, "Who are they giving you?"

"Some lanky transfer from London or something. Used to work with Charlie Cowell., the car enthusiast with a lead foot."

Anna frowned, "Did I meet Charlie?"

"It might've been before you. He was Atticus's friend. You remember, Atticus was the guy from-"

"Accounting. He's the one who married Rose from Human Resources." Anna smiled to herself, "I always thought they were a cute couple."

"Yes, they are but I have to say that, she's my cousin." Mary tucked the notes away. "But it's a bit of the six degrees of separation and all that."

"What if you fall in love with him?"

Mary shrugged, "Kick you to another desk I suppose and keep him."

"So much for loyalty to the estrogen squad you're bemoaning losing."

"Then you should've worked out how to get me to go with you." Mary turned back to her computer, "Enjoy Oz, traitor."

"I hope you and your new partner fail." Anna gathered her things, she and Mary trying not to twitch smiles at one another. "I'll keep you posted."

"You'd better. I don't want to find out anything over Facebook or something."

"You won't, I don't use Facebook."

Anna drove her grandmother's car back to her house and worked herself inside. Her suitcases stood near the door, one still open for her to finish packing her last-minute things. She only spared it a glance, the familiar knot of anticipation rising in her stomach at the thought of travel.

Pushing it from her mind, Anna sorted herself out. She put the used dishes in the washer and started it up, finished folding the last vestiges of her clothing, and carefully tucked the book of fairy tales and the travel guide into the rucksack. The weight there settled like a lump in her chest.

This was it.

* * *

 _She shut the last door, walking down the corridor as quietly as she could. There, at the end, loomed Lady Grange. The closer Anna drew to her, the distance between them shrinking rapidly no matter how carefully she measured her steps, the shape of the woman grew more imposing. When she did not move as their paths converged it forced Anna to try evening her breathing so as not to show fear. Despite the potential closing of her throat at the woman's unforgiving stare, Anna pulled the edges of her skirt and curtsied to her. "Good evening, milady."_

 _"_ _I'm sure the nannies can manage the bedtime rituals to our satisfaction."_

 _"_ _They're very adept." Anna frowned, "But there are a few of the children in need of a softer touch. They're frightened of the dark or-"_

 _"_ _That's not your place." Lady Grange stalked toward Anna and it took every ounce of strength she had not to back away under the threat of onslaught. "If you need reminding as to what your place is, I won't hesitate to give you the lesson you so sorely need, governess. In fact, it would be my pleasure."_

 _"_ _I must heartily apologize, Lady Grange, but I've no idea what you mean." Anna held herself as high as she could. "How have I overstepped my bounds?"_

 _"_ _Don't you?" Lady Grange nearly spit at Anna. "Don't think I didn't notice my husband's retreat to your side in the garden this afternoon. Or many afternoons before this one. I've noticed all of them."_

 _"_ _We met there quite by accident, I assure you.."_

 _"_ _There are no accidents."_

 _"_ _It was of no fault of mine, milady." Anna stiffened her shoulders. "I was there to take a moment to myself. Lord John joined me and we had a short conversation. It was over before it even began."_

 _"_ _Was it?"_

 _Anna took a breath, "Lord John and I are friends, Lady Grange. He's asked that of me and we've met in the garden to talk. Nothing more and at his insistence."_

 _"_ _Because you've been forced into it?"_

 _"_ _No, milady. Because Lord John asked if we could be friends and I thought that having another friend wouldn't be a sin." Anna swallowed, "Does that offend you, milady? That Lord John asked for my friendship?"_

 _"_ _I'll tell you what offends me," Lady Grange's nose practically touched Anna's as the rage quivering through her made her frame shake in Anna's view. "That you're soliciting my husband in my garden."_

 _"_ _I did no such thing." Anna's own rage roiled through her._

 _"_ _I know what I saw and what I've seen so I'll only say this once and you'd do your best to listen very carefully." Their mutual rage battled in the air between them until it shimmered. "Stay away from my husband you little slut."_

 _"_ _I beg your pardon." Anna drew herself up to her full height, even if it was still four inches shorter than Lady Grange "I am no such thing and I won't endure such a slander from anyone. Not even if she's a Lady or my employer."_

 _"_ _Then stop seducing my husband."_

 _"_ _I already told you, I've done no such thing." Her voice held firm but her hands shook as she balled them into fists. "If I've done anything it's engage in conversation, as requested, by my employer who I consider my friend. There's no shame or harm in that. In fact, as Christians we're encouraged to be friendly to one another."_

 _"_ _And that's what you think you're being, friendly?"_

 _"_ _I've never endeavored to do or be anything more or less than that, milady."_

 _"_ _And his kiss to your hand, was that just conversation?"_

 _Anna held her breath, praying her cheeks did not flush or that anything else in her body gave her away. "It's a polite action."_

 _"_ _It's the prelude to an invitation to his bed."_

 _"_ _Even if it were, it'd be a bit hard to share a bed already occupied by someone else. So unless you're not sharing your bed with Lord John, I wouldn't be welcome in it." Anna paused and regained her composure, "I apologize. That was rude of me. Please forgive my outburst, Lady Grange."_

 _She waited but Lady Grange only snorted, "I'm sure you'll find another opportunity to make yourself more visible to him. But before you do, think on this." The shiver in the air passed to Anna. "If I even get a whiff that you've done anything more than breathe in his presence, I'll have you out on your ear so fast you won't even have time to ask for the reference I'll refuse you. Or repair the reputation I'll ruin for you."_

 _Lady Grange turned on her heel and stalked away, leaving Anna alone._


	5. Child from Snowy River

Anna pulled the car into the lot and sat back. The map on her phone blinked and she clicked the button to end the route before grabbing her bag and getting out of the car. It dinged at her and she reached hastily for the keys, yanking them free to leave the car outside as she pushed into the pub.

Once inside the building, Anna blinked at the darkness after the glare of the outside. She worked herself toward the bar, eyeing the other patrons, and knocked her knuckles against the wooden surface to try and signal service from the invisible bartender. A grunt came from under it and she lifted herself over the edge to see someone digging under the sink with an open bag of tools next to their legs.

Sliding back off the bar, Anna jumped when a hand tapped her shoulder. The woman, with ginger hair pulled into a messy bun and a shirt reading the same name as the one displayed over the bar in old script, held up her hands and smiled at her. "Sorry 'bout surprising you."

"All my fault." Anna nodded at her, "Should've been paying attention but I thought…"

"Thought he was the only one here?" The woman nodded affirmation, pointing to the pair of legs sticking out from beneath the sink. "Technically he was but since he's busy trying to fix a clogged drain after some prat thought he could vomit there, best to leave him to it."

"That's horribly unpleasant." Anna swallowed, taking another look at the man clanking against the pipes. "Don't you have a toilet?"

"Clearly indicated over there." The woman pointed, "But some people…"

"Yeah, seen my share of those."

"Anyway," The woman tucked herself behind the bar, "Since you're here and we advertise as a pub, what drink can I get you?"

"Just water." Anna pulled out her guidebook and a folded map. "I'm actually here for directions more than anything else."

"Directions to where?" The woman dug into a small fridge to pull out a bottle of water as Anna struggled to get the money out of her wallet.

"There's a…" Anna shrugged, "Honestly? I've no idea."

"Where do you need to get near?"

"Since I'm already in Snowy River I guess it's all just…" Anna dug into her rucksack. "I'm looking for a place that might have the record of births from nineteen-twenty-seven."

"That's specific." The woman leaned over the counter, resting her chin in her hand. "Why that year, if I can ask?"

"It's when my grandmother was born."

"She a native?"

"Technically? She was born in this area but spent most of her life in England so..." Anna sighed, "When she was four, far as I can tell, her family sent her away."

"Cruel."

"That's the thing, I don't know if it was." Anna shrugged, "I'm here trying to find out who they are and if there are any of them left."

"Looking for your blood then?"

"Simplest way to put it."

"Family search huh?" The woman straightened, "Maybe you could've saved yourself time if you'd just done one of those swabs and then looked it all up on one of those ancestry websites. Caused my family more than enough trouble and now I've got half-siblings and relatives pouring out my ears."

"If only it were that easy."

"Trust me, I wish it was." The woman frowned, "You're English then?"

"Born and bred."

"Then why not hire someone to come out here for you instead of dragging your pretty little self all this way for what could be a horrible disappointment?"

"Because this is for my grandmother and I've got to see it for myself." Anna chewed the inside of her cheek, "Some things shouldn't be left to others to handle."

"Well, that's a bit outside my purview to judge 'yea' or 'nay' but he can help you find a place to start." She walked the few paces over to the man still under the sink and kicked his boot with her foot. "Hey, Bates, we need your local knowledge."

"What?" His voice muffled in the echo of the space under the sink and stopped tinkering to hear better.

"There's someone here who needs your help so let me have a go and you talk to her." She stepped back as he slid out from under the sink and took her hand to help him stand. "Leave this to the professional."

"Sometimes I wonder who really runs this bar Gwen."

"Don't worry, I'll let you keep thinking it's you." She winked and went under the sink to fix the problem as he turned to face Anna.

Taking a second to wash his hands in the smaller sink between them, 'Bates' did not remove his eyes from hers. Anna noted the slight limp to his leg as he moved but shook herself and extended a hand as he came over to her. Bates nabbed a small hand towel to wipe his hands clean before accepting the shake.

"John Bates, owner."

"Anna Smith, lost tourist."

"You're not a tourist if you're looking for family."

"And I suspect you're a bit more than just the owner."

"True." He smiled, releasing her hand. "I also work as the operator, bartender, and occasional handy-man when the need arises."

"That happen often?"

"Often enough."

"That's impressive."

"Gwen's better at the handy-man stuff so she just lets me amuse myself with thinking I've got a clue how to do any of it." John sighed, setting the dishtowel to the side. "Amusing myself with tinkering."

"Developing skills isn't without its necessity."

"True enough." Mr. Bates crossed his arms on the bar and leaned toward Anna. "Now how can I help you?"

"I need to access a place where they'd keep records for births in this area for nineteen-twenty-seven."

"Specific."

"My grandmother was born here that year. October fourth, to be exact."

"Well I don't know if more or less exact is really going to help you in this." He scratched at the back of his head. "The problem is whether or not the records even exist to begin with."

"Do you know anyone who would know?"

"I might." Mr. Bates shifted his jaw, clacking his teeth together before holding up a finger to her. "Give me a second to make a call."

"Okay." Anna tapped on the bar as Mr. Bates walked away and noted the limp again as he disappeared through a door.

Waiting for a moment, the tinkering of Gwen below the sink providing a steady drum of noise, Anna unfolded her map of the area and flipped open the travel guide. It held down a corner of the crinkling map as Anna compared the routes drawn in the twenty-year-old travel guide with those printed for access on her map. Her highlighter lid popped as she traced her route along the road before using another one to replicate the possible treks indicated in the old travel guide. Once all the possible trails echoed perfectly with the worn-out travel guide, Anna tucked it back in her rucksack to lean over the map and study the patterns. A moment later, under the deluge of steady noise, she cupped her hands over her ears and kept her focus entirely on the replica of the surrounding area represented in two dimensions.

Her eyes darted back and forth over the printed paper in the near-silence muffled noise provided. But without her focus on her surroundings and the absence of other sounds, Anna twitched with a gasp when someone tapped the wood of the bar next to her. Dropping her hands from her ears, Anna forced a laugh as she folded the map and saw Mr. Bates leaning on the bar beside her.

"Sorry, old habit."

"It's fine." He nodded at her, "Focusing method?"

"You could say that." Anna adjusted the map so only the route she wanted was visible. "It keeps my mind from wandering."

"Does it do that often?"

Anna bit the inside of her cheek. "It can."

"Sorry if I've pressed a nerve or said-"

"No, no," Anna waved a hand. "I've just not had the chance for someone new to see what… Never mind. Was your call a success?"

"Yeah," He cleared his throat. "I know the man that keeps the town records and he's got some time just now if you want to go and ask him about it."

"Really?" Anna grabbed her map, "Where is he?"

"I can take you if you want to save yourself the trouble of the search and introductions." Mr. Bates shrugged, "If that doesn't sound creepy or too forward."

"It's a bit odd."

"Then I'll-"

"But just because I'd hate to take you away from work." Anna pointed to the pub and the sink where Gwen gave a grunt before crying out in success. "Won't she just think she owns the place now?"

Mr. Bates laughed, "She and her husband are the other two partners so she already does. And we both know she runs it better than me anyway."

"Does she?"

Mr. Bates nodded, "I'm more of a people man myself. I can't stand business."

"So she takes care of the business side and you're the people person?" Anna pursed her lips, "What's her husband do then?"

"He's the numbers man."

"Is he around?"

"No, he's a CPA and this is just their side investment because she wanted something to do after their children started school." Mr. Bates untied a waist apron and nodded at her. "Are you still up for the thought of me driving you around?"

"If you promise not to murder me in the bush then I think we should think of the environment." Anna gathered her things, "Ready when you are."

"Perfect." He led her out the back and toward a rather sleek vehicle. "Please don't assume anything by this."

"I know more than a few pub owners where I'm from and none of them can afford a car like this." Anna went to grab her handle when he opened it for her. "What a gentleman."

"My mother would insist."

"Then I'll not destroy the manners she spent so long teaching you." Anna tapped the car, "But you were saying, about the car?"

"I've got this car because this pub is a side hustle for me." John winked at Anna as she leaned on the door. "Like Gwen, I needed something to occupy my time and this was it."

"Are you a hedge fund manager or something?"

"No, I just inherited a rather sizable income with a job."

"What job, if I can ask?" Anna slid into the seat, setting her rucksack on the floor between her legs as John climbed into the driver's seat.

"I'm the executor of my great-uncle's estate." Mr. Bates shrugged, pulling out of the lot and onto the road. "Or, whatever he really was. We call him my great-uncle but I think there's something about him being a cousin and removed by a few more degrees of separation in there but it's all the same in the end."

"What is?"

"Just what happened to my family because of him."

Anna frowned, "How'd you mean?"

"He was ridiculously wealthy and when he died he left it all to his daughter."

"That sounds nice."

"Here's the thing," Mr. Bates turned to her at the red light. "He never had a daughter. He had no l children at all. At least no children of his own."

"There were other children there?"

Mr. Bates nodded. "Yes, but all the children living under his care were there under his guardianship and none of them were his own."

"Was he affected?"

Mr. Bates laughed, "I haven't heard someone use a word like that in a long time. Very literate."

"Sorry," Anna shook her head, "My grandfather was a great reader and he loved old terms for everything."

"Oh no," Mr. Bates waved one hand, the other keeping to the wheel as the light changed. "I wasn't insulting you. I like old terms and I'm a bit of a reader myself. I just… It's been awhile since I had a conversation with someone who actually knew how to use words in straight sentences when I'm driving them somewhere. Or who didn't need me to drive in straight lines to avoid vomiting."

"You operate as a ferry service for those who can't drive?"

"Not in this car." Mr. Bates shuddered, "I've got a clunker in the back of the pub that I use when the taxis aren't running because it's late and someone still needs to get home without risking driving intoxicated."

"How kind of you."

"It's what you do." Mr. Bates shrugged, "It prevents wrecks on the road, keeps wives and husbands happy, and gets me return business. If they know they can trust you then they'll tell you their secrets and give you their money."

"You should've been an investment broker." Anna smiled, "You've got a very smooth charm about you Mr. Bates."

"John, please." He pulled off the main road and into a few older streets toward an historic city center. "Mr. Bates was my father."

"Is he-?"

"Passed when I finished my military service." John waved away her open mouth. "You weren't to know and it's been a long time. He was a good man and I've got good memories so I'm not too fussed about it now. My mother has her moments when she misses him but he was her husband."

"That kind of loss is harder to understand if you haven't lost like that."

"It's true." John shrugged, "I didn't find marriage that binding."

"And is there another Mrs. Bates besides your mother?"

John shook his head, "Not anymore." They pulled into a lot and he stopped the car. "I do hope you'll allow me a few questions of my own."

"You've been more than free with your answers so I don't see why I shouldn't be free with mine." Anna went to open her door, "Could we walk and talk?"

"Sure." John got out of the car, coming around to open her door, and closed it after her. "Other than searching for your grandmother's blood family, what else brings you to Snowy River?"

"That's it really." Anna paused, frowning at a sign on the door of the building. "You have a 'western' night?"

"This was an area of horse raising and cattle ranching." John squinted his eyes, "I've got an ancestor that married into my father's line whose father came from Kiandra before they settled in Snowy River."

"Really?"

"Yep. Her father was the Sheriff in Kiandra in the eighteen-sixties and her mother was the local schoolteacher." He shrugged, "A classic love story."

"That's adorable."

"And very clichéd as a western." John pulled the door to the building open, "But it's in our blood and we're excessively proud of it."

"No reason not to be." Anna walked into the darker corridor, pausing the second it took for her eyes to adjust again. "Why do you ask?"

"About what?"

"About whether or not I've other intentions with your town?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, "You've got the feeling of unfinished business about you."

"Then you're not worried about me coming in with my secrets and ruining the quiet peace of your town."

"Not really. Like I said," John led her down another corridor. "You've got a feeling about you."

"Do I?" Anna frowned, "Not sure I'd know what that looks like."

"I do. Then again, I'm a bartender so I deal with a lot of midnight hour confessions before someone passes out." John guided them down a final corridor and then took a set of stairs to a basement before knocking on a door there. "What's got the bee in your bonnet about your grandmother's family?"

"She had the bee in her bonnet."

"And you've no interest other than being the dutiful granddaughter?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you are here, primarily, because you're being dutiful?"

"I'd like to think so." Anna took a deep breath, "It's the least I can do for the woman who raised me."

John went to say something else but the door opened. He tried to dodge to the side to avoid the swing of the door but, despite the other man reaching to grab the edge, John caught the force of the wood with his shoulder. The grimace that twisted his face had Anna wincing in response to more than just the echoing sound of the snap as it struck him full-force.

"I'm so sorry John." The other man finally grabbed the door and wrestled it back. "They just redid the hinges because they warped and now it's too loose."

"Can't get it 'just right' can they Joseph?" John extended his right hand. "It's good of you to help us on such short notice."

"Phyllis is taking care of the front desk so I had some time for archives before the fair next week." Joseph smiled, a twinkle in his eye at the mention of the woman's name.

"And how is Phyllis?"

"She's doing well. Brady skyped her from Cairns and he's finishing up his nursing course so it'll only be a few more weeks."

"I bet she misses him."

"She does but Belle's still at home and she's probably not going farther than Ballarat for her courses." He turned to Anna, thrusting his hand forward with all the finesse of someone trying to compensate for a social faux pas. "Joseph Moseley, curator and historian for the town."

"Anna Smith, visitor." She took her hand back, "And congratulations on your children's success Mr. Moseley."

"They do their mother all the credit really." He giggled his laugh, stepping back to allow them both to enter. "But I think there's something I can do for you."

"Yes." Anna maneuvered her rucksack to pull out the information, passing it over on a small card. "I'm looking for the birth records associated with my grandmother and all I've got is a birth date, the name of her mother, and this town as a place to start"

"It's a good enough place to start."

"Is it?"

"Oh yes, I've had more people trying to start with less."

"And you helped them?"

"I helped enough of them."

Mr. Moseley took the card but did not immediately do anything. He frowned at the date and Anna watched the muscles in his jaw flex as if he chewed something. Little sounds came from his mouth and throat as if he mumbled to himself but stopped the noise coming out so they could only hear the idea behind a possible vocalization of thought.

Anna turned to John and he cleared his throat. "Joseph?"

"Yes?" Mr. Moseley barely glanced at John and then snapped back to himself. "I'm sorry, you must think that very odd."

"A bit odd mate. Especially when we've got visiting ladies present."

"Then my deepest apologies." Mr. Moseley almost bowed to Anna. "I didn't mean to frighten anyone or… Or give the wrong impression."

"No harm done I'm sure." John gave him a wink and Mr. Moseley relaxed. "What was it that had you all muffled there?"

"Just sorting my thoughts." Mr. Moseley tapped his temple with the card. "Got a lot to sort out up here since I've eidetic memory and I needed to review over everything I remembered before I risked misspeaking."

"You've got photographic memory?" Anna whistled. "That's a rather impressively beneficial skill for a historian."

"Photographic memory? Heavens no," Mr. Moseley laughed, "It's more… Children've got eidetic memory since they've got more elastic brains. The retention of information far exceeds ours but when the brain begins to plasticize they lose the ability to retain at the speeds and depth of before. I've got whatever's left of that brain once you're old and your mind's all solid."

"You learn something new every day." John mused, wincing and then taking one of the chairs to sit down and stretch out his right leg. "What had you… Going to your mind palace?"

"Mind palace?" Anna looked to John, who waved his hand at Mr. Moseley.

"He's got to sort all the information he can't forget into something. There's an old idea of keeping all your thoughts in specific sections of your mind by carefully designating them to a construct called the 'mind palace'."

"Very _Sherlock Holmes_."

"In my case," Mr. Moseley handed the card back to Anna, explaining to her. "It's more like I can keep links to information on a catalogue."

"Like a general reference page?"

"Exactly. When you deal with paper like this you've got to organize the information in a set way but I've got my mind linking it all like a web. So while everything in here is organized chronologically by region, the mind doesn't always do that. I've got to follow the spider web from what I've got to how it's stored."

"That's amazing." Anna fingered the card, "So what did you remember about this date?"

"Not that date, specifically, but two other dates very close to it. There's a lot of interesting things you discover in a town like this one, especially the farther back you go, but some of it sticks better than others." Mr. Moseley motioned for Anna to follow him into the aisles. She turned back toward John but he waved her forward.

"I've got to stretch out some cramped muscles. I'll be right here."

She nodded and hurried to follow Mr. Moseley to where he stopped by a massive wall of filing cabinets. His fingers twiddled in the air as he went down the line, reading none of them but working through whatever system he set up in his mind until he stopped at a drawer. It stuck when he went to pull it open so Mr. Moseley put his hand on it, counted five, and then wrenched the whole thing so hard the whole wall wobbled.

"Humidity." He shrugged and reached into the back of the drawer to pull out a folder. "October fourth nineteen-thirty-three the Lord Grange John Bates and his wife, the Lady Grange Vera Bates, were found dead in their manor. The belief, according to the police at the time, was they killed each other."

"John Bates?" Anna jerked her thumb behind her. "Like…"

"It's his great uncle's cousin twice removed." Mr. Moseley shook his head, "Not a detail he likes to mention to people."

"He said his great-uncle let him the executor of his estate." Anna pointed to the news article in Mr. Moseley's hand. "Is that the estate he executes?"

"It is." Mr. Moseley shuffled the other papers in the file to show Anna another one. "In the will of Lord Grange he was very clear that his daughter would inherit the estate and everything attached to it."

Anna read over the page, "There's no name listed for the daughter."

"No, because the rumor is he didn't know her name."

"He had a daughter and didn't know her name before calling her his heir?"

Mr. Moseley nodded. "The other rumor is that he wrote another will that included her name but I've never seen it."

"There's something you've not read in this collection?"

"If we had it I'd have it memorized but the archive doesn't have a copy."

"Seems a bit irresponsible not to leave it on record."

Mr. Moseley shrugged, "They say it's hidden somewhere in the house but for all the hunters who've searched for it there's no way to tell where it is."

"Why didn't someone overturn the will?"

"Because it was legal and binding. The title passed to the next male heir but they never got any of the money." Mr. Moseley cringed, "I got the feeling, from what I've read and studied on the family, Lady Grange was none too happy the money was left to a child she didn't have."

"Because they never had children."

"Exactly. That's what makes the whole thing peculiar."

Anna replaced the paper, "You said there was something else odd about the date. The October fourth date I'm guessing."

"Yes and, now that I've cleared my mind about it, it's a year between the Bates's deaths and that date on your card." Anna stepped back a pace as Mr. Moseley worked two filing cabinets to the left and pulled it open with more ease than the first. "A local woman died tragically from what the police ruled an accident, October fourth of nineteen-thirty-two."

"You say that like you're suspicious it wasn't." Anna waited for Mr. Moseley to show her the file. "You had the same tone when you mentioned the double murder of Lord and Lady Grange."

"Because I don't believe the Bates family murder was a double homicide and I don't believe this woman happened to slip and fall from the highest turret of the manor Lord Grange left to his mystery daughter." Mr. Moseley opened the file and tapped the picture. "I've gathered all the records I could from that period and what I've found tells me that Anna Smith didn't just slip off that roof."

He stopped, blinking at Anna. "I know it's a common name but…"

"If it's the name I think it is, then it's not just a common name."

"Your family perhaps?"

"Perhaps." Anna put her bag on the table and used it to balance as she carefully pulled the page-protected letter she removed from her grandmother's book out of the depths of the bag. "Is there anything she ever wrote?"

"Sorry?"

"This Anna Smith, are there any notes or journals or anything you've found that you could compare to this?" She showed Mr. Moseley the page. "I think the Anna Smith who died on October fourth, nineteen-thirty-two was my great-grandmother and I need to be sure."

Mr. Moseley handled the paper carefully and leafed through the file until he found something there. "It's only her signature but…" He put the two signatures next to one another before looking up at Anna. "I can say with relative certainty that this, Ms. Smith, is your great-grandmother."

Anna stared down at the information, noting the headline reading 'Deranged Hysteric Plummets to Her Death.'

"Do you have information, from Melbourne, for that same date or the date afterward about a missing child found at a train station?"

Mr. Moseley frowned and then paused, as he had before when he filtered through the mass of information in his mind, and then snapped his fingers. "I might have something." He vanished from sight down the line and returned a moment later with another file. "This could be what you're looking for."

They opened the file and there, printed in the local paper, was the message:

 _Child found. Roughly four years of age and recovered from the train to Melbourne from Snowy River at five a.m. October fifth. All she carried was a book of fairytales and nothing else. Answers to the name 'Lily' as, when asked, she claimed her name was that of a flower. No other information provided, photograph to follow._

"Was there a photograph?"

"It was black and white but yes, it's here." Mr. Moseley showed Anna the photo and she held the edge of the table. "Are you alright?"

"That's Rose Smith." Anna smiled at him, pointing to the information about Anna Smith and then herself. "That's Anna Smith's daughter and my grandmother."

"Well," Mr. Moseley nodded at her, "You've found one half of your family."

"Do you have birth certificates or-"

"I'll see what else I can dig up for you." He paused, "Do you want any copies of any of this?"

"Yes." Anna nodded, "And anything else you find, I need anything you could give me about all of this… if that's not too much to ask."

"Not at all, Ms. Smith." He shivered, "This is the most fun I've had in ages."

"Glad I could help."

"It's more than help Ms. Smith." Mr. Moseley gathered all the files. "This has been one of the most fascinating mysteries of my career here and you finally offer the chance to crack it."

"And what'll you do, when you know the rest of the story?"

Mr. Moseley paused, "It's mostly for personal reasons, you understand. I'm a man who likes puzzles and problems. I like to figure things out and this… Well, it'll put my mind at ease knowing that someone's looking to the welfare of souls lost to us. They're digging into their forgotten stories and we'll final share them like they were our own. They'll be complete."

"I hope so."

"At the very least we'll be complete." Mr. Moseley pointed, "Copier's over here, if you want to take these with you."

"Yes, please."

"Then onward."


	6. Grim Fairy Tales

"So, if I'm getting this right," John dipped his chip in the aioli sauce, "Your great-grandmother writes that letter, tucks it into the binding of a book of fairy tales, and gives that to your grandmother before putting her on a train to Melbourne with nothing else? No information, no identification, no way to get home, and then what? Goes mad and dies under mysterious circumstances a year later?"

"Seems about right." Anna cut into her food. "I'm still combing through the information but it's about that dramatic right now."

"Wow." He wiped his hands on a napkin, "I didn't expect this when I offered to act chauffer for this event."

"Thanks again for that." Anna pointed to the plastic tables and the food truck. "And this as well."

"My pleasure. Gets me out and about and I've been dying to try their lobster macaroni for ages." He winced and Anna stopped eating.

"Your sore muscles again?"

"Yeah." He put his leg out as far as it could go.

"Is it recent?"

"It's…" John stopped, "Are you easily upset?"

"I work as a DI in London specializing in homicide investigations so, no." Anna pushed back a bit. "What is it?"

John pulled up his trouser leg to show her the carbon fiber and titanium miracle there. "It goes up just above where my knee used to be until some desert jihadist took it off with a landmine."

"Did they leave the rest of you intact?"

"How'd you mean?"

Anna sucked the inside of her cheek before rolling up the sleeve on her left arm. "I almost lost mine all the way to my shoulder but some of us have all the luck."

"I'd say so." John leaned forward, noting the pockmarks of scars and the indentations where skin stretched over where muscles should have been. "How'd you keep the use of your arm?"

"Miracle of modern medicine." She rolled her sleeve back down, "I was this close to losing it like you lost yours but I had a good doctor who took some pioneering risks that paid off."

"My doctor was good too but when there's nothing there to save…"

"I guess they couldn't get all of you and settled with what little of you they could blow off." Anna paused, "Sorry, that was gallows humor."

"It's what people in our position use to get comfortable with the fact that we're no longer whole." John smiled, "And I like that approach instead of the one that asks where the rest of me is."

"As long as the parts that matter are still intact," Anna grinned at him, taking a bite of her food, "Does it even matter?"

"In case you don't get the chance to test it out for yourself," John shoveled a bit more of his macaroni into his mouth and swallowed. "The best bits are still in perfect working order."

"I'd have rated you above average."

"I did say 'perfect'."

"I noticed." Anna sighed, "Better than I can say for myself."

"What?" Anna paused, food almost to her mouth when she noticed John's expression. "I'm sorry, what does that mean?"

"Not all of my problems are on the surface." She went to shrug but noticed John's pursed lips. "There's something on your tongue."

"There is." He nodded, "I've got another impertinent question and I don't know if I should ask."

Anna sat back, sucking the food from her fork before wiping her fingers on a napkin as she swallowed. "You bought me lunch and you drove me around town to hunt down information on my grandmother. I feel like you're owed as many answers from me as I'm owed from long-dead relatives."

"It's not about that." John leaned forward, moving his prosthesis into a better position. "It's about earlier, at the bar, when you were covering your ears."

"To focus."

"Why not get sound cancelling headphones or something?"

"I have some, and they work wonders, but I didn't want to pull them out and appear rude." Anna drew them from her pocket and handed them over. "I keep these on me at all times. Sometimes it's the only way I get anything done because I can't focus if there's too much noise."

"Really?"

"Really." Anna shrugged, "I've had times where I find that I've sat in place for an hour getting nothing done because I got distracted by someone clacking on their keyboard. Or I find myself at work and I can't always remember exactly how I got in that morning."

"A lot of people forget the mundane repetitions like that." John handed the headphones back. "But I've got a feeling you're talking about something a little more specific than being bored on the Tube or distracted at work."

"It's got more to do with my developmental problems."

"You've got developmental problems? What kind?" Anna raised an eyebrow and John held up his hands, "If I can ask, I don't want to pry into something private."

She narrowed her eyes and then shrugged, "I guess I'll have to cut you some slack, given your generosity thus far."

"I'll take whatever bones you throw."

"Alright." Anna situated herself on the bench. "The first developmental problem they identified in me was dysgraphia so I've always had to force myself to memorize pictures in a grid pattern or else my brain won't remember them."

John frowned, "I don't think I've ever met someone with dysgraphia."

"It made getting my driver's license a bitch, that I can tell you. And it makes reading maps an absolute chore."

"Thank goodness for GPS then?"

"It's a lifesaver." Anna shrugged, "But my dysgraphia came as part of the non-standard package with all the other problems I have."

"Other problems?"

"How much family history are you ready for?"

"How much are you willing to share?"

"How much time do you have to spare?"

John spread his hands, tilting back on the bench seat of their shared plastic picnic table. "As much time as you want to give."

"Well, the problems in my family don't begin and end with my great-grandmother putting my grandmother on a train and then flinging herself from the roof of a manor house." Anna took a breath, "My mother is a wreck of a human being. She's sixty years old and continues in the pattern of traveling to a foreign nation to get herself high, drunk, and a twenty-something with a huge dick."

"Is he usually a huge dick?"

"Guaranteed because she's never attracted a nice guy in her life. Not that I've ever met any of them but since they all leave her at some bus terminal in the end I guess it's all par for the course."

"Society chivalry is dead."

"As a doornail." Anna rubbed her hands together, "My mother and my Gran had a row when she was fifteen and she left the house. About fifteen years later, after leaving them a string of unrelated postcards and calls from who knows where after doing who knows what, she shows up on my Gran's doorstep with me in tow and asks to stay the night."

"She's thirty and out of the blue she's got you?"

"Yeah, in a baby carrier, mind you." Anna took a sip of her water. "So she stays a week and tells my Gran there was this drunken orgy in Moscow or Montenegro or Mongolia or some place starting with an M. That place only really matters because it was where she met the guy."

"The guy?"

Anna nodded, "My father, whoever that asshole is. And, wherever he is, I hope he rots in whatever drug den he ends up dead in."

John nodded, "I support your wish."

"Anyway," Anna shook herself, "They'd hit it off, didn't use a condom, and nine months later, she's got me but not him."

"Before or after he realized?"

"That she was pregnant?" John nodded and Anna shook her head. "He was long gone before she realized."

"When was that?"

"When she was four months along." Anna rolled her jaw. "My father, whoever the bastard is, skipped out just after he got my mother hooked on some designer drugs he helped make and a few not-so-designer drugs that prove their worth by their endurance, not their efficacy."

"And this was your mother?"

"Unfortunately."

John shuddered, "What happened, when she found out she was pregnant?"

"She attempted an abortion with some herbs she got from someone in Romania but it didn't work."

John blinked at Anna, his jaw opening and closing a moment before finally speaking. "You're lucky to be alive."

"I didn't think that for the first ten years of my life." Anna hauled in a breath, "I suffered from significant brain damage. My arm, that was from the botched abortion and me getting delivered, wasn't the only thing that kids at school used to tease me."

"Children can be cruel."

"And they were." Anna let her neck flex back a second, releasing a sigh. "I've lived my whole life with all these issues because my mother couldn't bother to use a rubber or act her age."

"But you seem alright now."

"Because my grandfather stayed with me for five years to home school me. It took me four years to speak my first words and I couldn't read until I was three. He'd hold me when I had night terrors and even took up sheep farming so I could be around animals to calm me as a child because I'd get anxious and go nonverbal."

"What a man."

"He was." Anna sighed, "The best man I've ever known."

"I do hope we've all got a few people like that in our lives." John paused, "Is he… Has he already passed?"

"He died when I was fifteen." Anna snorted, "My mother, who I hadn't seen in five years at that point, couldn't even be bothered to attend his funeral. Instead we got a postcard from Rio asking for money."

"There are a lot of words I want to use for your mother right now."

"There's a book out there for the words I'd like to use for my mother." Anna sighed, "But my Gran never abandoned me and my Grandad sacrificed his career for me. He helped me develop the move I did at the bar, he helped me develop the grid system because I'm almost as good as Mr. Moseley when it comes to memorization, and he worked with me for hours to overcome dyslexia."

"Again, astounding man."

"He's my hero." Anna fiddled with her fork. "He's the reason I become a DI."

"Was he a DI?"

"He worked the force in Yorkshire until they knew the kinds of problems I had. Then he quit, moved us to London so I could be near specialists and the schools I needed, and kept a little farm for the sheep for me. He trained me out of a lot of my nervous ticks, helped get me the medications I take for my motor function problems, and never let me quit."

"Sounds like my physical therapist." John knocked his knuckles against his leg. "There were so many times I was ready to toss in the towel on this and just spend the rest of my life wheeling myself around in a chair but I can't. Not with the property I manage or the pub."

"The property," Anna leaned forward on the table. "Would it happen to be the manor house of Lord and Lady Grange?"

"It would. Although, technically, the title of 'Lord Grange' passed back to some cousin in England years ago. It's called something else now." He cracked a smirk, "Do you want to see it?"

"I think I'd like to see the place where my great-grandmother tossed herself to her death, if that's not to morbid."

"Not at all. We're all fascinated with the macabre." John stood, taking their rubbish to gather it into a manageable pile. "The idea that you want to see where your grandmother died is normal."

"That gives me no end of comfort, I assure you." Anna pushed herself off from the table, gathering her things. "And thank you."

"For?"

"You handled what I told you very well."

"Did I?"

She shrugged, "Most people want to give me pity for my conditions. Or assume I've got too much damage to be anything but severely ruined. Or that I've got autism and therefore I'm a robot."

"As long as you're medicated and you've got your methods, I don't see why you're not just like the rest of us." John pointed toward his leg again, gathering the dumping their rubbish in the bin on their way to the car. "We've all got our damage and we're all working through it."

"How well do you work through yours?"

"Every day I wake up and strap this thing on so I've got to face it every morning." John shrugged, "I've got to declare this or risk removing it and hopping through airport security any time I fly home to see my mother."

"I can't see you taking many trips beyond that."

"You're not wrong." John wiped his hands on one another. "I only fly when I go back to visit her twice a year."

"Then you're not a local?"

"No, that's my great uncle."

"And your family ended up in Ireland while your great-uncle got a manor?"

"Doesn't seem fair, does it?" John shrugged, "It's just like the phrase goes, 'But for the grace of God there go I."

"Then what happened to your great-uncle's other family?" Anna waited for him to open the door, "The ones who got the title?"

"No idea. I know they didn't want the obligation of the house if they had no chance at the money." John closed the door, walking around the car to his side. "So my uncle left the house in my family's stewardship."

"I thought you said he wasn't really your uncle."

"That's what we call him. Mr. Moseley says he's, specifically, my great-uncle twice removed or something. At the end of the day he's family so if he's an uncle or a cousin or whatever it doesn't really matter. No one really cares."

"You seem to care."

"Because he's blood." John paused, his thumb tapping the steering wheel. "Mr. Moseley showed you the article that basically ruled he and his wife killed each other, right? The one that says it was a double homicide?"

"Yeah. It was something that happened on the date of my grandmother's birth… Although it was six years after the fact."

"How odd." John snorted, "But… The whole town thinks of my family as these deranged killers. But all the accounts of him say he was a good man. He gave to charity, he took in local orphans without a home and got them an education, he invested in the community… All those things normal, good people do."

"And yet?"

"And yet I get the impression that no one's ever as good as you think they are. No one's ever all good or all bad and they're never simple."

Anna frowned, "How'd you mean?"

"He and his wife hated each other, that's fact. They died childless, fact. Everyone says they killed each other in a rage one evening, supposition. He was unfaithful to her, founded rumor. A possible secret love child exists, founded rumor. And he was willing to risk all of that for an affair, supposition."

"Because he left it all to a daughter he never proved existed?"

"The will was legal and binding. That means the lawyer knew about the child and could prove it was his blood heir."

"What happened to the lawyer?"

"Died less than a week later of fever." John snorted a laugh, "This whole thing is the reason why this town loves the legend of it all and yet are scared of my family. We're like the Grim Reaper."

"Your pub must be something great if they're willing to overlook all of that to drink there with you for company."

"Alcohol makes you all sorts of friends." John shrugged, "It's the kind of thing you learn to live with but the reality of it all is that the man they all know doesn't match with the man my grandfather knew."

"Your grandfather from Ireland?"

"My grandfather from here."

"Right." Anna snapped her fingers, "You've got your clichéd love story heritage. I keep getting your genealogy confused."

"It's something my great-uncle and I shared. We were named for the same man. John Bates, former sheriff of Kiandra."

Anna frowned, "If you're from a family with a sheriff…"

"Then how'd we get the house?" John pulled the car to a stop and Anna's mouth dropped open. "It's amazing what you can do when their adopted child was the heir to a title in England."

"That's the Grange family manor?"

"It's got an official name but the locals call it 'Bates Manor' because no one cares about official names anymore." John shrugged, "Not that _Psycho_ helped in conjunction with my family's rather speckled history."

"Nothing like Norman Bates to paint this place as the next hotel." Anna turned to him, "What's it really called?"

"Bushwarden Base." She pulled a face and he nodded, "That's why I prefer 'Bates Manor' as well… Despite the implications."

"Do you live here?"

"I live in one of the rooms but the rest of it we rent out for events, parties, filming, and anything else. It's a protected site and we've actually got plans to make a swanky hotel out of it-"

"An actual 'Bates Motel'?" Anna snorted into her hands, "You can't be serious. You're actually going to make the 'Bates Motel'."

"No," John held up a warning finger, "We're planning on turning Bates Manor into the Grand Bates Hotel."

"Swanky."

"That's the plan." John winced, "But we've not moved forward with it yet."

"Why?"

"We're still working out if we legally can given we're just stewards and caretakers of the property instead of being the owners." John reached for something in the console of his car and pulled out a remote. With the press of a button the gates opened. "Shall we?"

"I'd feel bad if we came all this way and didn't."

* * *

 _She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The voice on the other side, muffled through the wood, called for her entrance and she laid her shaking hand on the knob. With a forced swallow that almost ripped at her throat, she opened the door and walked into the room._

 _His back was to her, bent over a desk and scribbling furiously at something. Her steps echoed on the wood for two beats and then muffled in the weave of the rug as she approached his position. A finger came over his shoulder and she halted in place just steps from his chair._

 _"_ _Just one moment. I've got to finish this."_

 _She stayed in place, her fingers slipping and sliding over the folded paper she turned and rotated in her hands. After a moment he finished, capping the pen and laying it to the side with a definitive thunk on the wood of the desk. He stood, pushing the chair back, and turned toward her._

 _"_ _Now then, what-"_

 _"_ _My resignation." She took the few steps left separating them, thrusting the paper into his hands while his brow still furrowed and his jaw still hung dangerously near his chest. "I needed to hand in my notice before anything else happens. Before… Before there's any more trouble."_

 _"_ _What trouble?" He read over the note quickly, unfolding it in a second. "Anna, this is hardly necessary. You're not in any-"_

 _"_ _I'd prefer if you'd remember to address me as 'Ms. Smith', Lord Grange."_

 _"_ _We don't-"_

 _"_ _I'm your employee and I feel there've been actions between us that have left… some with an incorrect notion of our attachment to one another."_

 _"_ _Incorrect?"_

 _"_ _Yes, Lord Grange, incorrect." Anna swallowed, "I hope to rectify that by handing in my notice and avoiding any hint of scandal that would, without doubt, sully my reputation. I've not much but what I have I hope to keep."_

 _John met her eyes, holding them as his jaw clenched. The paper in his hands shook and Anna flicked her eyes there, focusing on the paper instead of him. He dropped his arm, keeping a tight grip on the notice, and walked around Anna to the door. Part of her wanted to move but Anna remained in place on the rug, shifting her weight from foot to foot._

 _The door closed with a snap and Anna started slightly at the noise as she pivoted to face John. He held his position, breathing deeply for a moment, before closing the distance between them. Anna raised her head to meet his gaze again. Her shoulders rolled back and she tried to rise to her full height but it was nothing to his. And it was not until they stood an arm's length apart that Anna realized how close they were as he raised the notice to her view._

 _"_ _I can't accept this."_

 _"_ _I'm asking for a good reference and the chance to live my life free of scandal." Anna pulled at her fingers. "I won't have the rumors already whispered about me spread farther abroad than I can manage."_

 _"_ _I'll stop them."_

 _"_ _They can't be stopped, Lord Grange." Anna took a breath. "I mean no disrespect, milord, but I know that your wife, Lady Grange, is the one behind the rumors. The rumors that we're engaging in relations that are inappropriate for a single woman and for a married man. They've already earned me looks and whispers in town and I won't bear it."_

 _"_ _It's not true Anna."_

 _"_ _That doesn't matter. People believe it and they've held it against me already." She nodded at the paper in his hand. "I ask that you respect that notice. I'll work out the end of it, take what I've earned, and be gone before everything I hold dear is taken from me."_

 _"_ _What do you mean?"_

 _"_ _I've not got much, Lord Grange, but I do have my pride and my reputation. The longer I stay under the jealous eye of your wife, the more risk I have of losing both of those before I can make a life for myself." Anna waited, "Please respect my wishes."_

 _He lowered his arm, his eyes never leaving hers. "I'm so sorry you've been the victim in this."_

 _"_ _I believe the pity, Lord Grange, is yours." Anna reached out a hand, lowering it before she touched his. "I'm sorry."_

 _"_ _I'm…" He swallowed, "You were the only person I could consider a friend here. Not just to the children but for me."_

 _"_ _And you were mine." Anna sniffed, "I… I wish it didn't have to be this way."_

 _"_ _So do I." John turned back to his desk, leaving the notice there. "I'll inform Mrs. Bird and she'll arrange your notice with you."_

 _"_ _Thank you." Anna went to turn but his voice stopped her._

 _"_ _Might I ask something I've no right to ask?"_

 _"_ _What?" Anna faced him as John came to stand right before her._

 _"_ _May I hold your hand?"_

 _"_ _My hand?"_

 _"_ _Before you leave, I'd like the pleasure of holding your hand just once. To see…" He paused, as if carefully cultivating the words. "To see if it truly is as soft as you are."_

 _"_ _I…" Anna tried to force words from her mouth but they would not come. "I'm not… I don't…"_

 _"_ _I've no right to ask it of you but, for once, I'd like to feel the hand of someone who doesn't want anything from me and isn't trying to hurt me." His eyes broke her heart. "Please allow me this kindness?"_

 _Anna extended her hand to him and John enveloped it in two of his. He lowered his lips to the skin, leaving the gentlest of kisses there. As he raised his head, eyes meeting hers, Anna could not stop herself. She took the step forward and their lips met._

 _It was brief, almost a dream, and she stepped back. He blinked at her and Anna took her hand back. "I hope I wasn't impertinent."_

 _"_ _Not at all."_

 _"_ _Then I'll leave… Now."_

 _John watched her, straightening with each step she took backward. "Thank you for your service with us, Ms. Smith."_

 _"_ _Thank you for the job Lord Grange." She nodded, turning to open the door._

 _In a moment his weight pressed on her and he turned her. They stared at one another for a moment and Anna closed the distance. Her hands gripped his lapels and his neck as their lips crashed against one another._

 _One of his hands cupped at her waist and the other held the side of her neck to balance them. His lips moved over hers, head slanting to better meet her kisses. Their tongues teased at the edges of their lips and then tangled to taste one another._

 _When the need for air forced them apart, Anna could feel her chest press against his in concert with the deep breaths he tried to suck through his nostrils. They flared and her fingers brushed over them before tracing his cheekbones. His thumbs stroked along her jaw as their heartbeats settled._

 _"_ _I think, Ms. Smith," He whispered, eyes darting between her lips and her eyes. "You need to leave."_

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _Because if you don't, those rumors will be true and I'll have ruined you."_

 _"_ _The only ruin I recognize is to be without you." Anna ran her fingers into the hair just above his ears. "You're not the only one who finally found someone more than a friend here. Something they want to keep forever."_

 _"_ _I think I want to keep you forever, Anna." John pushed himself back from her, smoothing his suit and taking a handkerchief to his lips before offering her another handkerchief from his pocket. "To help you restore your appearance. I think I've rather mussed you and I wouldn't want you to worry about your reputation."_

 _"_ _Thank you." Anna wiped over her face, her lips still tingling. "For everything."_

 _"_ _Thank you for the same." John tucked both handkerchiefs away. "I wish you didn't have to go."_

 _"_ _I wish that too."_

 _John swallowed, "I'm just… I'm ever so sorry you're going."_

 _"_ _If I stayed…"_

 _"_ _I know." John nodded, "Just… Drop us a line, when you get where you're going. Or else I'll worry."_

 _"_ _I wouldn't want that." Anna smiled at him and their fingers brushed for a moment as they reached to hold hands but stopped themselves._

 _John swallowed, looking at her. "I truly wish you well, Ms. Smith."_

 _"_ _Thank you, Lord Grange." Anna opened the door and almost left, pausing to turn over her shoulder. "And I wish you well."_

 _"_ _Unlike you, Ms. Smith," John opened his arms, shrugging as they flopped back to his sides. "I can't leave this life. This cross is mine to bear."_

 _"_ _Then I give you the love I can."_

 _"_ _That's all I need."_

 _She left the study, hiding her tears until she returned to the privacy of her room._


	7. Specter

Anna craned her head back, walking through the foyer. "What did they do with all this space?"

"Raise kids in it." John knocked a wall, "It could've been a school at one point but after both World Wars that kind of thing went out of style."

"One of the crying shames of public education I expect." Anna took another turn in the space. "It's amazing to think someone in my family lived here once."

"I think that every time I come. What would they even do with all this unnecessary space?"

"Throw raging parties?" Anna snorted and John joined in her laughter. "I don't think people realize all the work that goes into something this massive."

"You never know until you see it for yourself."

"And have to pay the bills for it yourself."

"Truer words." John shrugged, leaning on the wall. "But it's different when you realize your great-grandmother lived here as a guest… Or, employee, I guess."

"Your… uncle, something, owned it." Anna pointed at him as she continued pacing the foyer. "That's got to mean something."

"That it's a bloody big responsibility to make sure the historical society doesn't ruin it for the tourists."

"Always a risk with those pesky historians." Anna pulled out a folder to flick through the pages. "But they're the kind of people who preserved all these other details so the good with the bad then."

"As in life."

They were both quiet a moment until Anna stopped on the article about the other Anna Smith's death. "I still can't wrap my head around the idea of my great-grandmother climbing to the top of the house just to toss herself from the highest turret. It just… I dunno, something about it doesn't feel right."

"You don't type her as one for suicide?"

"I don't type anyone for suicide because I've seen the results of the people who do commit suicide and some of them would surprise you."

"Then what's got you twisted?"

"Mr. Moseley, in the archive, seemed to think it wasn't so cut and dried. That maybe there was some animosity with the paper against my great-grandmother or there was a bad bill of goods being sold here."

"And you believe that?"

"I've been featured, however indirectly, in a number of columns and blogs and articles and I know how unforgiving the public can be when they've got their anxious trigger fingers on the keys." Anna frowned, "And, reading the article, there's definitely some of the same angst from the reporter against her."

"What'd she ever do to him?"

"It was a her, actually, and who knows." She shook her head. "The way they portray her, as some kind of demonic hysteric, seems a bit unfair."

"To say the least." John came closer, peering at the article as well. "Makes you wonder what kind of beef they had for one another."

"Whatever it was, it led to a very unflattering obituary."

John took the page Anna handed him and scanned it quickly before letting out a long breath. "That's nasty."

"I thought so too." Anna took it back and tucked the page away. "I guess it was the risk she ran when there was no family and no friends left to defend her honor in the end."

"Even if there were, we can't control the narrative of our own lives after we die." John shook his head, "One of the themes of the musical _Hamilton_."

"No, we can't. And not my favorite."

"No?"

" _Wicked._ "

"Classic. And a good choice, by the way."

"Thank you." Anna sucked the inside of her cheek. "The whole scenario's a bit odd, isn't it? The other Anna's death, I mean."

"Yes but I think we're looking at different versions of it being odd." John lifted his chin at her as he folded his arms over his chest. "What's so odd about it to you?"

"Why not something simpler?" When John frowned his confusion Anna held up the old photograph, "I doubt it's changed much."

"Nope, looks just the same and costs a pretty penny to keep it that way I'll take no pride in telling you." John pointed up as if to indicate the roof through the layers above them. "Still sloping and dangerous if you decided to take a risk on it without the right conditions."

"Then why jump from that height?"

"Instead of…"

Anna snorted, "As a homicide detective I could name at least six easier ways to kill yourself that don't involve the chance you could regret your decision halfway through. It's one of the reasons it's considerably easier to talk someone off the ledge. Too much time to change their mind before they actually do the deed."

"Maybe she couldn't get at those other ways." John sighed, shaking his head. "I don't think I've ever felt the kind of desperate grief in my life so I can't say what desperation would force me to do in her situation."

"What kind of desperate grief do you see in her?"

"The kind that makes someone believe that life truly is so bleak that dropping yourself from the top of a roof is a preferable way to go." John paced a second, letting his arms drop to bury his hands in his pockets. "Or maybe she just slipped and it wasn't suicide at all. It gets wet up there."

"Something about this kind of desperation doesn't exactly evoke images of a terrible accident." Anna scanned the only other information before shaking her head. "Whatever drove her up there, I'd agree with your assessment about desperation. It's never the best option and very few people use it unless it's convenient or their last available route."

"Then it was her only option." John narrowed his eyes at her, "But that's still not all that's troubling you about it."

"It's…" She huffed out a breath, "I understand abandonment and I understand feeling like someone just left you behind. My mother's a mess and she's failed me more times than I can count so I'm about as close to 'expert' as I want to be there. I know the feeling well."

"And?"

"I don't get that feeling about my great-grandmother."

"The feeling that she just ditched her child and then said 'Sod it' before tossing herself to her death without even looking for her little girl?"

Anna nodded, "I'm struggling to understand why she didn't get on the train with her daughter. If she was there, why not disappear together?"

"You're assuming the other Anna put your grandmother on that train herself? Took her to the station and everything before just stepping back and watching her ride away never to be seen again?"

"Who else would she trust to take a little girl to a station and then just leave her without telling anyone, not going with her, and then never going after her?"

"Good point. The circle of trust in this feels a bit claustrophobic."

"It's all about the thickness of blood in water." Anna looked through the papers, "She had enough time to get my grandmother there, put her physically on the train, even dressed her up before giving her a book of fairy tales and then doesn't get on herself? Why?"

"Maybe there's more to the story."

"There has to be because, a year to the day later, she jumps from the tallest tower and dies." Anna shrugged, "If she knew where she sent my grandmother then why not go and get her?"

"Maybe she couldn't? Same with her choice of life-ending decisions. If it was all she could do for her child then maybe she was giving your grandmother what she thought was her best chance."

"Maybe." Anna shivered, "Something about it still feels wrong. Like I'm missing something critical about the whole enterprise."

"I guess this place is all full of mysteries." John nodded toward the stairs, "Do you want to see the roof? It should be dry enough to be safe and we could solve part of the puzzle today."

"I think I'd like that." Anna tucked the folder away and allowed John to precede her up the stairs.

He grinned at her, "I like how you didn't try to make a comment about whether or not I can manage the stairs."

"I figured if you suggested the endeavor then of course you can." Anna kept pace with him, appreciating the house. "I'd never doubt someone because they showed what could be considered a vulnerability."

"You don't see it that way?"

"Having been judged on enough of my quirks, I try not to use that as the meterstick by which I measure, no." Anna let her gaze wander as they walked, "You said you wanted to turn this place into a hotel?"

"It'd be a nice way to keep it useful since it's just for show nowadays." John guided them along the corridor to a set of stairs weaving in a tight turn toward the roof. "It might take a bit of wear and tear under the number of footfalls you'll get and it could get harry if we have to battle the historical society for it but we'd make more money with it than we do just having it open for tours and occasional film shooting."

"You want to make more money from it?" Anna pulled herself to the bannister and tilted her head to look upward. "That's a lot of stairs."

"Walk them enough times and it'll give you a nice ass."

"If the stairs I do at the gym are any measure then…" Anna made a face, raising an eyebrow at his grin. "Have you been staring at my ass, Mr. Bates?"

"If I said 'yes', would that offend you?"

"I don't think I'm nearly as offended as feminists believe I should be."

"Then compliments on the physical form aren't dead yet."

"Not yet." Anna followed as John started up the stairs at a gentle pace. "But you were saying, about turning the house into a hotel"

"That yes, we want to make money from it."

"Why's that?"

"Because right now the house barely pays for itself. Washing the windows alone in this house is an expensive endeavor."

"And they're hardly the only pieces that need regular cleaning."

"That's the thing, isn't it?" John rounded a turn and their eyes met for a moment. "I know hotels aren't always a safe bet, financially, but people would pay to spend time here."

"Because you think it's a great location?"

"Because I know people want the postcard that reads: I stayed a night where someone died." John paused at another turn, "Maybe that's a bit callous."

"In other situations I might feel a bit bad, but since our mutual families both lost out in this I think it's alright." Anna shrugged, almost passing John on the stairs. "Besides, people go and get themselves frightened at haunted hotels. Who wouldn't want to stay a few nights at a nice place where some people died? Drama draws people and giving them a nice bed, good food, and some local legends are just what adventurers are seeking sometimes.."

"You watch a lot of television?"

"Enough." Anna paused on the stairs again, allowing John to move past her. "Think about it, who watches anything without drama?"

"Not me." John laughed, "But I'm a sucker for things like that."

"Really?" Anna let a grin come over her face as John snuck a peek back at her. "What would I find in your DVD player?"

"It's more my Netflix playlist but you'd find _Secret City_ , because I'm a huge Anna Torv fan, and you'd also find all the seasons of _Call the Midwife_."

"Must be a sucker for the BBC."

"I'm British, of course I'm a fan of the BBC." John pulled a key ring from his pocket and unlocked the door at the top of the stairs, pushing it open. "Although I don't spend enough time exploring new things."

"I'm all about word of mouth on those kinds of things." Anna shivered as they entered the attic, sticking to the middle of the corridor. "Unfortunately, most of the shows people talk about are crime and cop shows."

"Can't see that being something you'd enjoy."

Anna shuddered, "The killer's usually identified within the first fifteen minutes and since they're never doing anything you could actually do in real life it destroys people's perception of the work I actually do on the day-to-day."

"I could identify with that." John flipped through the keys again and pulled another one out to open a smaller door that Anna suspected would lead to a closet but opened to a smaller set of stairs. "But, then again, I've basically lived my entire life on the dividends of investments made by my family before me."

"Says the man who lost his leg to a jihadist in the sandbox." Anna clung to the bannister as the tight turn of the circling staircase took them farther upward. "Want to explain that to me?"

"The physics of how the leg came off in the explosion or the exact dimensions of the sandbox where I lost it?"

"I'll assume you lost it where everyone loses things," Anna shrugged at John's confused face, "The place where empires go to die."

"Afghanistan was very rough."

"But no, I was curious how an inherited individual-"

"Thank you for not saying 'trust fund brat'."

"You hardly strike me as one of those." Anna smiled, "But, if you insist, how does a 'trust fund baby' manage to get himself into a pair of fatigues and then go back home missing the majority of a limb? What's the story there?"

"It's the story of family duty. My family serves their country and so I did as my father and grandfather before me."

"Very Jedi of you."

"Only the best." John opened the last door at the top and then pushed it open. "I served until I realized that I couldn't quite be trusted when a mine might magnetize to my leg and then blow me up."

"I thought it just made you bullet proof." Anna took John's hand and stepped out into the small space between the retaining wall and the door. "Oh wow."

"Yeah," John whistled next to her, waving an arm toward the expansive landscape before them. "I never mind this view when I have to come up here."

"Are you up here often?"

"Whenever there's a problem with the roof." John tapped his foot against the surface under them. "Which is surprisingly infrequent given the age of the house."

"Master craftsmanship." Anna kept her steps measured and careful as she walked over the roof. "You said your family inherited it from an adopted child?"

"My ancestors, back in the eighteen sixties, adopted three children and had one of their own. One of those adopted children was the inheritor to a title, as a man with a briefcase, a mustache, and a lot of legal documents eventually told them." John took a breath, following her over the roof as Anna tried to match the location with the descriptions from the article and the accompanying photographs. "He, unfortunately, died a short time later without children but left everything to his adopted sibling, the blood child of my relatives."

"And thus you inherited it?"

"That's the long and the short of it."

"What about the title?" Anna stopped, checking the picture against her position on the roof against the photographs from the article and the ones from the police report. "How'd they manage to swing that until the Lord Grange who died here passed it back to England?"

"My guess is a bit of legal work and some bribery but I wouldn't swear to it one way or another." John shrugged, leaning on the stones to look out at the distance. "However they got it, they didn't keep it long."

"A few generations and then they were gone too." Anna pointed over the edge. "That's where she fell."

John leaned just a bit and whistled. "Not a nice place to go."

"That's the thing." Anna showed him the reports, passing them over carefully so the wind that picked up around them did not steal away any of the information. "I study crime scenes for a living. I could tell you how far people should fall if they tripped, if they flung themselves, or if they were pushed. I know the kinds of thoughts people have when choosing those locations because I've talked some people down from those ledges… literally."

"You mentioned earlier that it's easier to get them off than the others."

"Yes it is." Anna peeked over the edge again before shuddering. "I think I could've talked her away from this."

"I feel like there's a point to this I'm not going to like."

"How'd you mean."

"You've got an assumption about all this that'll throw a spanner into a hundred-year-old founded theory."

"It's not a hundred years old."

"However old it is," John closed the folder and Anna took it back to tuck carefully into her bag before pointing back to the site. "What are you thinking actually happened here Ms. Smith?

"That this isn't one of those places where someone decides they want to jump into the abyss and risk it all."

"How so?"

"If someone's going to fling themselves to their death, they usually pick a place where they can land with a swift crunch. No one wants to try and die only to become a vegetable trapped in their own bodies."

"Or horribly maimed." John opened his arms, "Either way, the whole point of the venture is lost."

"Exactly. You want it quick and relatively painless." She pointed over the side, "The shrubbery there might've ruined that possibility."

"I'm afraid of the rest of the list now."

"Probably wise of you, considering my next assumption."

"Which is?"

Anna ticked off on her fingers. "Second, how's she going to get up there?"

"Climb?"

"Give me your hand?" Anna waited as John stepped forward. She wrapped her hand around his and climbed to stand between the jutting stones, holding tightly to his fingers, and then inched a foot forward. "I can barely slip through here."

"I'd rather you come down before you take another slip through there." John helped her back to the surface but did not release her hand. "You think someone pushed her?"

"I think it'd take a lot more than grief to drive her up here. The logistics alone of trying to kill yourself by jumping off here are ridiculous. Even as the last option available to a desperate woman."

"So then, 'Deranged Hysteric Plummets to Her Death' might be a bit more… murder-y than all that?"

Anna snorted, "I don't know whether to be offended or overjoyed you just used the word 'murder-y' in a sentence."

John shrugged, waving the comment away. "It's one of my skills."

"You major in wit at school?"

"Literature actually." John knocked his knuckles against his other leg. "When I found out that I couldn't get through life with footy."

"Not a good player?"

"Not champion stuff but good enough to be spotted until I wrecked my knee in a driving accident."

Anna hissed through her teeth, leaning against the stones. "That's rough."

"It was one of those signs that I should've paid more attention to." John put his arms forward on the stones, looking into the distance. "You know those moments when life literally slaps you in the face to get your attention and somehow you still ignore it?"

"Can't say life's slapped me in the face too many times but I got enough spankings as a child to appreciate them." Anna nudged toward John. "How'd you wreck your knee?"

"My ex-wife drove the car into a tree when we were drinking."

"Was she your ex-wife then?"

"No. Technically we weren't even dating then." John let his fingers tap along his arm. "She was the head of this… Gang and-"

"A gang?" Anna tried to hold back a chortle. "Like a girl gang?"

"It was what we called it but I wanted so badly to join that I ignored all the good advice from people smarter than me and chased after them." John hurried to defend himself against Anna's raised eyebrows. "They were older and cooler and they had real leather jackets."

"I don't know how many more clichés I can take."

"I'm ignoring that." John settled, rocking slightly as his weight shifted.

"Alright, tell me what happened next."

"We all got hammered at a pub and Vera, since it was her car, insisted on driving us all to this place she knew." John clicked his teeth, "I never did find out if that place was the tree she plowed us right into or somewhere else."

"I think probably not the tree, speaking personally."

John only scowled at her, "Anyway. Next thing I know, after some hazy images of flashing lights and people blinding me with white lights, I was up in bed being told that while I would hopefully recover full use of my legs I'd probably never get the range of motion needed to play professionally." John snapped his fingers, "Dreams dashed in an instant."

"Hindsight is always 20/20." Anna trilled her fingers against the stone. "The horrible reality is that we never think of the long term. We always think we'll be young forever."

"There's a story there."

Anna snorted and then sighed, "When I was fifteen I thought my grandmother was ruining my life because she wouldn't let me go to a school dance with a boy. I called her a bitch and stormed up to my room."

"Sounds about like a teenager."

"Little did I know that the boy I was going to go to the dance with got arrested that evening for drug possession." Anna shook her head, pursing her lips. "After he got high and ran his car into my granddad's."

"Is that when…"

Anna nodded, "Sometimes, when I'm not feeling myself, I wonder if I could've changed anything if I'd ignored my Gran and gone anyway."

"Where did your dark thoughts take you?"

"To the conclusion that, given my age and obsession with the boy in question, I would've done whatever he asked." Anna sighed, "I could've died too or been there to feel guilty about being a part of what killed Grandad."

"And now?"

Anna paused, her eyes narrowing. "Are you getting a kickback as my therapist now too?"

"Just a service I offer."

"Because you bartend part-time?"

"Excuse me." John put a hand to his chest. "I bartend full-time just not all the time. There's a big difference."

"Right." Anna managed a smile and settled, looking around the roof. "My Gran and I got really close after that night. It changed our lives."

"I'll bet." John's hand covered Anna's and she put her other hand over his, their fingers interlacing a bit until he pulled away. "Best get you back to your rental and someplace to stay in town."

"Got any suggestions?" Anna managed her bag and followed John back to the stairs. "I didn't plan so far ahead."

"There's a little place I know." John waited for her to go first to lock all the doors on the way down.

When Anna reached the second-floor corridor she paused. Her body shivered and her ears pricked at the slightest suggestion of notes floating along the carpeted halls. She took a step toward the noise but twitched as John's hand came down on her shoulder.

"Je- Sorry," Anna put up a hand as John raised his eyebrow at her. "I thought I heard something."

"For someone who claims issues focusing you did a good job there."

"That wasn't focus, that was honed instinct." Anna pointed down the hallway. "Mind if we take a look for a moment?"

"We're not in any hurry."

Anna led the way, John's steady footsteps behind her, and stopped at a door. Craning her head up to study the door, Anna frowned at it before pointing. "What room is this?"

"Bedroom I think, like all the others." John motioned across his body. "There's a guide book at the top of the stairs they give to the guides sometimes to help them know which rooms belonged to whom and what their purpose was."

"Think they'll mind if I look inside?"

"You're chaperoned." John leaned around her to open the door and Anna entered the dark room. "And they're not here to complain if they disagree."

"Good."

Her fingers worked to find the light switch and then sighed as the room illuminated. But the cursory inspection of the rather plain room deepened frown lines on her forehead. Pushing her fingers off the door, Anna walked into the room and took a little lap before stopping in front of John again. He shrugged at her and Anna struggled to speak.

"You were a soldier so you understand the gut feeling right?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever…" Anna bit her lip, "Have you ever had the chill down your spine like you walked over someone's grave or that someone walked over yours?"

"More times than I can count." John folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. "I've got the sneaking suspicion you're not talking about chasing down a killer or anything right now."

"I'm on holiday, so no." Anna shook her head. "There, in the corridor, it felt like something brushed past me. And it just… I dunno, tugged my hand or something, like it wanted me to be here in this room."

"It's not a very special one." John squinted his eyes and looked all over. "It's in better condition than some but it's definitely one of the smaller lot. A temporary guest room for someone they weren't trying too hard to impress I think."

"It's more than that." Anna drew her fingers over the bedframe, the gaping space where a mattress should be almost a reflection of something else missing. Something that bore weight. "This room is significant to someone."

"Like someone who's dead?"

"Maybe." Anna shook herself, "I'm being stupid."

"It's not stupid." John let his arms drop to push them back into his pockets. "'I've been in too many places where too many things happened to not believe there might be ghosts here. Especially given what's happened here."

"Back to my haunted hotel theory?"

"More…" John pursed his lips and scrunched his face like he was thinking hard for the right words to use. "More like spirits that don't know how to move on or are scared to."

"You believe in ghosts then?"

"I believe there are souls lost here because they don't know where to go or trapped by something they believe is unfinished business. Or someone."

Anna knocked her knuckles almost absentmindedly against the bedframe. "My grandmother believed in those too. Said there were people out there who got confused when they died and got stuck simply because they were a bit too afraid to risk whatever lay beyond this life."

"A house like this has to have a few ghosts." John pointed to Anna's bag. "I wouldn't be surprised if your great-grandmother was one of them."

"Would you want her to be?"

"I'd want whatever ghost or soul or spirit who decided to make their presence known to me to trust that I'd do all I could to help resolve their business."

"What if it's nefarious?"

John shrugged, "Then trust I'd find a priest to exorcise them."

Anna paced the room again, crossing her arms over her chest to hold in heat that escaped as if something cold shrouded her. "I think it's just unfinished."

"Then maybe we just need to figure out what that business is."

"Maybe."

They did not speak until they were outside the house, John locking the last of the doors before leading them back to his car. Anna waited as he opened the door for her and slid into the seat. "Can I ask an impertinent question?"

"After a discussion about ghosts?"

Anna gave a snort, "I guess we're covering topics all at once aren't we? Going to make us pretty boring to one another in a short while."

"Probably." John took his own seat. "What is it?"

"How'd you manage all the stairs in that place when your leg was acting up earlier at the archive?"

"Honestly?" John started the car and pulled out of the parking space. "Because that bloody door banged into me earlier."

"Really?"

"I didn't want to tell Joseph, because he'd make a fuss about it since he's a good man, but when he hit me with the door it caught my shoulder and the toe of my prosthetic."

"Is your prosthetic that sensitive?"

"No." John shook his head, steering them down the gravel drive and back to the main road after the iron gates closed. "It's a good piece and I can bend and shift like normal but I can't feel anything."

"So the door…"

"Knocked the toe, which put it out of place. It was chafing."

"Ah, chafe." Anna nodded solemnly, "The worst enemy of long-distance runners and anyone in a full-bodied costume."

"And amputees." John tapped the steering wheel as he guided them back toward the pub. "But it does make for some real fun at Halloween when I can decorate it all up."

"Do you?"

"I was a cyborg last year."

"With the heart of a poet?"

"Of course." John put a hand to his heart, "If you cut us, do we not bleed?"

"It's 'if you prick us, do we not bleed'."

"Pedant."

Anna settled back into her chair, "You forget, I devoured books instead of relying on social interaction as a child."

"There are those in this world who make me want to just lose myself in a book and never face people again."

"The same people puking in your clunker of a car that serves as taxi for the inebriated and unreliable?"

"No, they're fine." John waved at someone on the pavement as they drove through town. "It's more the people I have to deal with who just make life difficult."

"Anyone I know?"

"Not yet and I hope never." John parked outside the pub. "If you want to follow in your car I can take you to the best hotel in the area."

"I do hope that's not a line you're about to use on me about your house."

John laughed, "No, that line is very different."

"Good." Anna got out of the car and climbed into her own, breathing shallowly past the stale, suffocatingly hot air in the space before she could crack the windows and get the aircon going. Her thumb went up and John guided her away from the pub and toward their next destination.


	8. Love and Death

Anna pulled her car into a space and pointed at the sign as John joined her. "The Baxley?"

"Run by our very own Joseph Moseley, from the archives, and his wife." John opened the door and waved a hand at the woman behind the desk. "The incomparable, Ms. Baxter."

"I wouldn't say I'm 'incomparable' but I'll take a compliment from John Bates any day." The gaunt woman rounded the counter and embraced John. "How are you today John?"

"I'm doing magnificently since I can finally refer someone to your fine establishment for longer than a night to sleep it off." John waved a hand at Anna, stepping aside so the two women could shake hands. "Ms. Phyllis Baxter, this is Anna Smith."

"It's a pleasure." Ms. Baxter's genuine smile stretched over her face with ease. "Mr. Bates here is always using our one-night policy for those at his establishment a little… Worse for wear, shall we say."

"It's nicer than 'drunk off their ass'." Anna shrugged and pointed toward the roof. "I've a question about the name."

"It's a combination of Joseph's last name and mine. We decided we didn't want to choose one name and so we amalgamated them."

"Baxter and Moseley… Baxley…" Anna smiled, "I like it."

"It makes for a good name too." Ms. Baxter ducked her head, a smaller grin accompanying the shrug she used to deflect the praise. "Memorable and manageable… Even for the more inebriated among us."

"I'm sure you're weren't thinking your chief patrons would be the inebriated and slurring your name when you chose it."

"No, but they make for steady business so between this and the archives we manage ourselves." Ms. Baxter went back around the counter and typed quickly at a concealed keyboard. "How many nights can I book you for?"

"What's your monthly rate?" Anna put her arms on the counter, drumming her fingers idly. "I've got a month for personal leave and I doubt I'll be far from this area so I'll need a base of operations, as it were."

"We could give you a discount and include breakfasts." Ms. Baxter sighed, a wistful look coming over her face. "We've the most magnificent breakfasts provided by our chef. She makes a thing of them and they're rather lovely indeed."

"Then I'd be a fool to pass them up." Anna dug for her wallet and passed over her card. "Just ring it up now and we'll settle any other amenities later."

"Perfect."

As Ms. Baxter filed in the relevant information, Anna turned to John. "Thank you, again, for your help John. It's been a pleasure."

"For me as well." He took her hand, shaking it firmly. "Although…"

Anna frowned, "What?"

John jerked his head toward the corner, out of easy earshot of Ms. Baxter. "I hope you don't think I'm being too forward if I asked you to dinner."

"Not had enough of my company yet?"

"Not hardly." John smiled at her. "I'll let you settle here and get back to the bar before Gwen thinks I've left it all to her."

"Might not be a bad idea." Anna winced, "She's better at it than you, isn't she? You told me as much and, from what I've seen, I'm inclined to believe it."

John gaped at her, shaking a finger, "You're taking the mickey."

"Would you mind if I were?"

"Not at all." John shrugged, "So, still interested in dinner?"

"You never have to ask twice about food, John." Anna dug into her rucksack and extracted her phone. Swiping at it for a moment she handed it to him. "Just put in your number. I'll call you and then you'll call me later when you're all ready for us to eat because I'm always ready."

"Sure you won't just collapse the moment you get to take a load off?" John punched in his number and then dialed himself. He struggled for a moment, managing both phones, but Anna caught hers and let John end the call on his end. "Because you've got a time change and we've been going all day."

"That we have but," Anna tucked her phone away. "I'm not worried. And I planned for this."

"Did you?"

"It's not my first rodeo, John. I've traveled a bit."

"Really?" John folded his arms, over his chest. "And where, do tell, has Ms. Smith gone in the world?"

"Let's save the conversation for dinner." Anna shrugged, walking back toward the counter, "Or else we might not have anything to talk about."

"I don't get a feeling that'll be a worry for us." John nodded to her and waved to Ms. Baxter. "I'll text you."

"Please do." Anna turned to Ms. Baxter. "How's your wifi?"

* * *

 _She closed her case and took a turn about the room a moment. Even with her meager possessions, it still felt so empty. The bedroom, far too nice for her position or her upbringing, called to her as if it could beg her to stay. Drawing her hand once more over the silken duvet, the polished desk, and the overstuffed chair near the fireplace, she turned to the door._

 _As it closed in the corridor, the noise echoing faintly in the early morning, she pivoted to begin her long walk from the house. But there, shocking her so much she almost dropped her bags, stood Lady Grange. They stared at one another a moment, Anna rolling her shoulders back to give herself the confidence in appearance she so desperately lacked in person._

 _Before she could speak, Lady Grange opened her mouth. "I heard you gave my husband your notice."_

 _"_ _It seemed-"_

 _"_ _It wasn't a question. I don't care to know your intentions or your desires." Lady Grange paused, drawing herself to her full height… Which was a bit more intimidating. "I'm here about a proposal."_

 _"_ _Excuse me?"_

 _"_ _I'm sure you're aware that my husband and I aren't… close."_

 _Anna's brow furrowed. "If you're suggesting that I know anything-"_

 _"_ _I know you're not ignorant to the fact that we're not close. In public or in private." Lady Grange waited but Anna said nothing, "Interesting, respectful to the last. Even with the references John provided you that I would not."_

 _"_ _My mother taught me that one should always maintain their composure, so they don't say something they'd regret."_

 _"_ _A wise woman, I'd imagine." Lady Grange picked at her sleeve. "It would explain why you've not addressed any of the rumors floating around town."_

 _"_ _I don't cast pearls before swine."_

 _"_ _And yet you'd cast yourself before my husband?"_

 _"_ _I've done nothing of the sort." Anna gathered herself, "Lady Grange, I've handed in my notice, worked it, and stayed not a moment longer than agreed. I'd ask you to respect that and allow me to leave in peace. I've no quarrel with you and I'm grateful for the references that'll help me obtain employment in Melbourne."_

 _"_ _What if I asked you not to go to Melbourne?"_

 _Anna clacked her teeth together to stop her jaw dropping. "I'm sorry?"_

 _"_ _I asked," Lady Grange stepped closer, "What if you didn't have to go to Melbourne to seek further employment?"_

 _"_ _It's where I can find a job, milady."_

 _"_ _You'll not need one there if you've one here… Is that not correct?" Lady Grange shrugged her shoulders and pulled at her cuff. "My husband and I've… Come to an arrangement, where you're concerned."_

 _"_ _What kind of arrangement might that be?"_

 _"_ _I've agreed to let you stay here. More than that, I'll put an end to those vicious rumors circulating about you."_

 _"_ _I'd be grateful for that, milady, but I've made my peace with-"_

 _"_ _My husband and I don't share a bed, Ms. Smith, and so I'd be a hypocrite to decline you the opportunity to share his when mine is so often filled with other company. Company he's allowed while his bed remains empty."_

 _Anna could not control the descent of her jaw this time. "Milady?"_

 _"_ _My husband, under the duress of losing your services, has decided to enact punishment on me. One that requires me to capitulate or see a… Rather unfortunate alteration to the circumstances to which I've become accustomed."_

 _Anna shook her head, "I don't understand."_

 _"_ _My husband demanded you stay on the premises or he'd divorce me and make my adultery public." Lady Grange watched Anna's face. "No doubt he's told you about that. About all the frustrations and lonely nights."_

 _"_ _Lord Grange never spoke a word against you, milady."_

 _"_ _That's a lie." Lady Grange snorted, "Not a complete lie but a lie, nonetheless."_

 _"_ _All he's said was that you never desired children."_

 _Lady Grange scoffed, "How kind of him. I'm sure he failed to tell you that I made conception impossible at a young age." Anna shook her head. "My indiscretions against my husband were not the first times I tested the boundaries of society. I took precautions and they made it impossible for me to ever have children."_

 _"_ _I'm so sorry."_

 _"_ _I'm not." Lady Grange sighed, "It's a weight from my shoulders."_

 _"_ _But Lord Grange-"_

 _"_ _Made his mistakes long ago and we're both paying the price for them." Lady Grange coughed, "Now then, will you retain your position here?"_

 _Anna waited, her arms finally registering the weight of the bags she still held, and took a deep breath. "I will not be staying so I can… Occupy your husband's bed, as you put it. I'll stay because I do good work here and I care for the children."_

 _"_ _Think whatever you will." Lady Grange gathered herself, "If that is the case, then should you not be helping them rise to get to their lessons?"_

 _She walked away, her footfalls muffled on the carpeted floor, and Anna could not move from her spot in the corridor. After a moment she gathered herself and hurried back into her room. Less than a moment later someone knocked on the door and Anna, caught in the process of trying to find clothing more suitable for a day's work with children, froze. The gentle knock came again and, stumbling over the bag that dropped from the bed to the floor in her hurry, Anna opened it._

 _John stood there, shifting quietly and his hand raised as if to knock again. They stared at one another a moment before John stepped forward into Anna's room. She naturally stepped back, as if they practiced the steps for this dance, and held her breath when John closed the door behind him._

 _"_ _I do hope you don't think I'm being too forward." His voice was barely a whisper but Anna caught every word. "I'd hate… I'd hate to think you thought… That is to say I don't want you to think-"_

 _"_ _Is it true, what your wife said?" Anna gripped the fingers of her left hand with her right, tugging on the digits for something to do so she was not flapping them aimless in her skirts. "About… Everything?"_

 _John nodded, not meeting her eyes. "What you must think of me, Ms. Smith. I can't even begin to imagine how I've fallen in your estimation."_

 _"_ _Must think… John I don't-" Anna shook her head, "There's nothing I could learn about you that would change what I think about you. Nothing and not one bit."_

 _"_ _But what I've done-"_

 _"_ _Is… Flattering, in its own way." Anna went to speak but John hurried to fill the silence with words that almost tripped over themselves on their way out his mouth._

 _"_ _I couldn't let you leave." He extended his hand toward her but stopped, his fingers curling toward his palm as he stopped himself touching her. "I couldn't… I couldn't imagine myself without you here and I was selfish."_

 _"_ _But…" Anna struggled, clutching her skirt in her fingers before dropping it. "But why? I'm nobody and nothing. I'm not a lady, and I've pretended to be and-"_

 _"_ _You're a lady to me." John finally met her eyes, "And I've never known a finer one than you."_

 _"_ _You're a married man."_

 _"_ _To a wife who can't have children because, from a young age, she decided she didn't want that kind of responsibility to destroy the pleasure she finds in all the beds that aren't hers." John's ire raged and then faltered just as quickly, "Or mine."_

 _"_ _Before God you're still-"_

 _"_ _Would God desire we suffer?" John's voice bit slightly, "Would He be so cruel."_

 _"_ _We're the cruel ones. He's…" Anna shook her head, "His ways are above ours and we may not understand but-"_

 _"_ _I'll not leave my destiny to anyone but me." John swallowed, "What my wife suggested was crude and… Lewd, to be sure, but…"_

 _"_ _But you'd like it to be true?"_

 _"_ _Hence why you would think less of me." John shook his head, "I demand nothing. Your presence here is enough for me and if that's enough for you then…"_

 _Anna took to pulling at her fingers again, pivoting away from John to pace the rug in her room a moment. To give herself space to think. To try and escape the… Escape what? She stopped, looking down at her hands to finally recognize the sensation that so mystified her was the trembling of her fingers, and faced him._

 _"_ _I don't know what to do."_

 _"_ _Stay." John pleaded, almost reaching for her again but stopping himself before he could. "I couldn't… I couldn't bear if you left. I was more sorry than you can imagine when I thought you were leaving my life for good. When I had to take that notice from you I… I felt like my heart would break."_

 _"_ _But you barely know me." Anna argued, pointing between them with a flailing hand. "We don't know one another, not really. How could we-"_

 _"_ _Feel so deeply about those we've spent weeks knowing? When we've spent hours talking and laughing and learning about one another?"_

 _"_ _Conversations in a garden do not a relationship make, John."_

 _"_ _Perhaps not." John shrugged, "And perhaps I don't know what made me want all those times with you from the moment we met but I won't deny that now that I've had then I never want to let them go. To let you go. Not when I know what you mean to me after how we used the little time granted to us."_

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _Because I'd struggle every moment you were gone, fretting and frantic about your new life. Wishing you the best, hoping you'd know how I felt without me having to say it, and feeling like a fool for never telling you." John pushed his fingers through his hair, upsetting the delicate position of it. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met and it may not be gentlemanly to say, as a married man to an unmarried woman, but I can't be anyone but what I am and I don't claim any airs that aren't mine."_

 _"_ _But they are yours." Anna risked a step closer to him. "And, for all the high-minded attitudes I might pretend, I… I wanted to stay. I didn't want to leave you. But I had to go. Surely you see that."_

 _"_ _I do." His fingers darted out, running over hers for a moment before pulling away. Then, as if he changed his mind, John reached out, to take her hand in his and hold it close. Their eyes met and Anna wondered if he shouted the next words that rang in her ears. "And I tried. I did."_

 _"_ _Tried what?"_

 _"_ _To dream of someone else but I couldn't."_

 _"_ _Why not?"_

 _"_ _Because there are no better women in the world than you, Anna Smith." John pressed a kiss to her fingers. "There's no one in the world I could love the way I love you now. And no one I'd want to attempt to love the way I love you."_

 _"_ _I'll be the ruin of you."_

 _"_ _Then let me be ruined."_

 _"_ _I couldn't do that."_

 _"_ _It's what I've chosen, Anna." He paused, "But if you think it'll ruin you then-"_

 _"_ _It'll most certainly ruin me." Anna whispered back, her head tipping forward and meeting his. "The scandal'll- It'll tear me apart if anyone ever found out."_

 _"_ _Then we should-" John almost pulled away but Anna twisted her fingers in his grip to keep them together. "Anna?"_

 _"_ _But the only ruin I care about, or recognize, is to be without you."_

 _"_ _Truly?" John put his fingers delicately under Anna's chin to raise her to meet his eyes. "Do you really mean that?"_

 _"_ _I've never meant anything more."_

 _No force on earth could have stopped their lips meeting then._

* * *

Anna pulled the borrowed curling iron from her hair and examined herself in the mirror. Her nose wrinkled but she could only shrug and reach for her phone as it buzzed. A swipe at the screen had her hurrying to unplug everything and grabbing her purse. The sleeve on her left arm rolled up slightly and Anna tugged it to her wrist before leaving the room.

Dusk set in, the sky ablaze with color, and Anna put her hand over her eyes to see the dark car driving up. She snorted to herself and waited as John parked across three spaces to put himself right in front of her door. With a flourish he opened the door on his side, coming out and rounding the car to open her side like a private driver helping some heiress or movie star into their seat.

"Your chariot, madam."

"That better be the last time, ever, I hear 'madam' come out of your mouth in reference to me." Anna chided, rolling her eyes at his obnoxious insistence at chivalry. "I'm not that old."

"I was trying to be respectful."

"I'm sure you don't have that issue." Anna settled into the seat, "But I will confess something."

"And what's that?" John climbed into his seat, buckling up before pulling out of the lot to get onto the road.

"I did take a nap." Anna motioned back toward her room. "I was more than a little shocked at how nice the bed is."

"The Baxley never skimps on those things." John leaned sideways toward her to whisper theatrically, "And the pillows are clouds they borrowed from heaven."

"Right." Anna snorted, shaking her head before sneaking a good look at him. "You clean up nice."

"I was going to say the same thing to you." John grinned, "But a bit nicer, because you're a lady."

"Not sure that's a worry that ever stopped people being unkind."

"Been hit on a lot?"

"In my line of work I see a lot of skeezy people, and some of them occupy time in my off hours." Anna shrugged, "Being a woman can be the worst sometimes."

"If men weren't huge dicks then it'd be less of a hassle for you."

"If men actually had the dicks they claim to it wouldn't be a hassle then either." Anna paused, biting at her lip, "I hope that wasn't too forward."

"I prefer people vocal."

Anna narrowed her eyes at him, wondering if the straight face was forced or completely genuine, and took the level up. "I've got a spoiler for you then."

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"I'm quite the screamer." Anna kept her face forward, biting back a grin when the car lurched forward as if the gas pedal got a bit more pressure than it needed.

"I think you stole that line."

"Just because the good Archeological Professor River Song said it doesn't mean it's no less true for me." Anna turned to John, her fingers itching to trace the twitching muscle in his jaw. "Why? You want to test it for yourself?"

"I don't fall into those questions."

"We're both adults."

"We've known one another less than eight hours." John gave her a look at the stoplight. "Even if we've been over creation and had lunch and discussed our mutually crazy family histories, we're still virtually strangers."

"Is this the moment when you confess you've got yourself a ski mask and you're driving me out to the bush to bury my body?"

"If I wanted to kill you then I picked the wrong car." John shrugged, "And no, but… Stranger Danger, and all that."

"I'm sure we're both good enough at judging characters to not make that kind of mistake this late in the game."

"I would be a bit surprise if the homicide DI found herself taken in by someone to the point she ended up dead."

"You'd be surprised." The car stopped but Anna put a hand on John's arm. "If I do attempt to seduce you, Mr. Bates, you won't have to wonder if that's what's happening."

"Rather sure of yourself aren't you?"

"We're both experienced enough in the ways of the world to have no confusion as to our respective prowess in that area." Anna withdrew her hand but John caught it. "Something you want to say?"

"Do you always wear long sleeves so people don't see?"

Anna nodded at his trousers. "Do you?"

"It does tend to draw eyes." John kissed her hand, "But not yours."

"Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

"I'm sure your glass house is lovely." John released her fingers and opened his door. "But I'm sure you're also starving and I did promise food."

"That you did." Anna waited for him to round the car and took the offered hand to stand in her heels. "But there's only one sleeve on this dress."

"It's on the left." John gestured toward his trousers. "These don't come in the long and short leg varieties."

"You could get the kind that zip free."

"I'm not a boy in secondary school." John scoffed and offered Anna his arm. "Are you ready to try the best Australian barbeque you've ever had?"

"I'll have no method of comparison so I'll take your word for it." Anna slipped her hand under his arm. "Lead on Mr. Bates."

* * *

 _Anna slipped her hands over the door knob, almost turning it and then stepping back. She shook her head, practically tearing her fingers through her hair in the moment she took to force it back from her face, and turned. A creak forced her to pause and confront John as he opened the door to his room._

 _"_ _Anna?"_

 _"_ _I…" She shook her head, "I… I don't know what I'm doing here."_

 _"_ _Would you like to come in?"_

 _"_ _I shouldn't." Anna worried her hands before shaking her head. "It's mad and ruinous and-"_

 _"_ _Anna," John caught her hands and closed his over hers. "What do you want?"_

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _I know that I told you what I desired, selfishly and impetuously, but that's of no consequence to me." He waited until she met his eyes. "Stop thinking of anyone and everyone for a moment so you can think of yourself."_

 _They stood close in his doorway now, the silence of the rest of the house both ominous and comforting. "What do you, Anna Smith, want?"_

 _"_ _You." Anna hurried to speak. "Since this morning I've been turning it over in my mind and wondering, debating, calculating, and I thought, when I passed you that note at dinner, I'd have the courage to do this but now I don't know if I do."_

 _"_ _Courage for what?"_

 _"_ _To risk everything. To allow myself to break the laws of God, to risk my reputation, to possibly further destroy your marriage just to have stolen moments with you." Anna almost bit the inside of her cheek as tears edged her eyes. "To have someone who loves me as I love them. For reasons that defy all convention and explanation and yet are."_

 _"_ _You're not the only one who feels that way."_

 _"_ _But I'm the one who'll pay the consequences." Anna took a breath, "This has to be more than desire."_

 _"_ _I am not my wife, Anna." John shook his head. "No matter my own… deprivations, I wouldn't risk everything that matters to you to offer this."_

 _"_ _And what is 'this'?"_

 _"_ _This is what I feel because I love you, Anna." He bent his head to take her lips with his. "This is what I want to give the woman I love."_

 _She succumbed to him. To his light tug to bring her into his room. To the gentle urges that shed their clothing. To the gestures and motions that laid her out on his bed. And for a moment, exposed and vulnerable to him, Anna shivered. Her hands moved to cover herself but he stopped her._

 _"_ _There's no need to hide from me." His lips, soft and insistent on hers, eased her worries and soon her fingers delved into his hair to try and anchor herself against the sensations running rampant through her._

 _His hands stroked and smoothed over her skin, settling the quiver in her muscles from nervous trembling to shivers of delight sparked as he found her ticklish places and those locations that left her sighing. Every move he made, every place he touched, and every kiss he left only allowed Anna to float closer and closer to paradise. As if he cultivated every caress specifically for her in that moment._

 _With a nudge he spread her legs and Anna tensed. All the conversations with her mother when her cycle first came trumped the calm serenity of the moment. Her eyes closed and she lay back as if to leave herself open to him. As if to simply let him do as he needed and be done with it. It was what everyone had ever taught her._

 _But when John touched her again it brought a moan from Anna._

 _Delicate licks of his tongue shattered every perception. Anna's earlier submission made it impossible now to bring up her head. She could barely control her body as it responded to John's educated motions. And while her own ignorance almost sent a blush of shame over her, the only red on her skin came from the divine pleasure of John's mouth on her folds and his fingers delving deep._

 _He groaned against her, the vibrations fluttering through her, and Anna could only lift her hips to seek out a solution to the rising sensations inside her. She could do nothing but respond to the primal energies her body understood better than her mind as John drew them to the fore. And when he whispered against her skin, Anna might have fainted from embarrassment if she was not already floating far away from herself and the strictures society used to bind her to the earth._

 _"_ _You're so wet Anna." He dragged his teeth over the bundle of nerves that sent lightning through her blood. "And your taste…"_

 _She cried out his name when the colors burst white behind her eyes. Anna tried to breathe, pushing air as hard as she could into her lungs when they caved in her chest, but could only turn into John's kiss when his mouth came near her. Even his moment of hesitance could not stop her tasting everything. Tasting herself on him and delving her fingers through his hair to taste more. To try and taste him through their kiss. To taste them together on his lips._

 _He maneuvered between her legs then but, with his mouth distracting her and his hands working to divert attention to her breasts, Anna could only cry out when he entered her. John paused, rocking against her slowly to slide a bit more of himself inside every time so as not to overwhelm her in an instant. A hand on her leg opened her to him and his constant kisses matching his caresses left her relaxing under the pressure. The pressure that settled when their bodies could not join any farther. When they were as close as two people could be without sharing the same skin._

 _Anna closed her eyes, squeezing her lids tightly while her fingers flexed in the softness of John's hair. Her body tensed and pulsed around him as if trying to comprehend the reality of the situation. But when John's lips sought hers again, instigating an unintended shift inside her, Anna's logical mind deteriorated under the primal brain. She shifted in response, leaving John choking on a sound, and they moved together. As they tentatively sought their pleasure together._

 _Nothing could feel like this. Anna's hips rocked and raised, her fingers running over John's back and occasionally digging marks into his skin when he found a place that sparked her pleasure, and her voice lost to keens and pants of pleasure. Pants John echoed until they muffled in the skin of her shoulder._

 _It was all they could do to hold on to one another. But they did and when the colors popped in Anna's eyes, their bodies joined even further. She almost collapsed into a boneless mass on the bed, vaguely aware of the final motions from John as he worked to join her, but held to him. He was the only anchor she had. He was the only anchor she needed to bring her back from bliss to be with him. Only him._

 _They lay together afterward, John's fingers ceaseless in their careful strokes of her skin and through her hair. She occasionally touched his skin, too fascinated not to and yet too nervous to really seek it out, and even drifted toward a tentative exploration of him beneath the sheets. His hand settled over hers and encouraged her interest. When John reacted to her, Anna explored further._

 _The second time, John rolled under her. His hands guided her position and his fingers left her damp and aching for more as he settled her above him. Slowly, his hands on her hips to give her support as her legs shook, Anna slid down him. She almost groaned when her head went back at the depth of him inside her. At the perfect fit of him inside her despite the disparity in their respective sizes._

 _Her hair hung, lively and shining in the dim light of the room, as she moved. Gentle rotations at first, gyrating and rocking to try and understand the dynamics of the position and her movement. But when she gained confidence, spurred on by John's urging and his lips on her breasts, Anna drove them toward oblivion. Rode him like a stallion to the furthest reaches of the horizon he showed her once and she wished to find forever with him again._

 _They reached it together, hearts racing at the same speed until they settled again. There, in the quiet of the room, John held his arms open to Anna and she crawled toward him. For a moment she wondered if his arm imprisoned her, trapped her in the irrevocable choices they just made. But as they both settled into one another, breathing in steady unison, Anna recognized the safety there._

 _His hand, the one with the ring, ran over her skin and Anna shivered. John drew back and, before she could say a word, the dull metal 'clink' sounded from the bedside table. When his hand returned, gliding over her arm and adjusting them so her back rested against his chest while they lay on their sides, Anna still noted the slightly waxy indentation on his finger._

 _It was her last thought before she drifted off in his arms._


	9. A Love of Chaos

Anna tried to wave off the dessert menu. "You give me one more thing and you'll be rolling me out of here."

"You couldn't roll yourself?"

"I'm about as incapacitated as those people you ferry in your behind-the-bar clunker… And at least I know it."

"That's hardly incentive not to get something."

Anna scoffed, "And why not?"

"Those are the best conversations I've ever had."

"When they're not chucking all over the upholstery."

"There's that." John grinned and pointed to the item. "It's seven layers."

"That's about eight layers too many." Anna blustered air from her mouth, massaging her stomach. "I forgot what gourmet food does to me."

"What?"

"Tells me I need to stop living off fish and chip stalls." Anna put her head in her hands, peeking out at John. "Does it keep in the fridge?"

"I'm sure there's a clause for keeping it cold."

"Then it'll be breakfast tomorrow."

"At the Baxley? I doubt you'll refuse Mrs. Patmore's breakfasts."

"I'm a homicide DI, I couldn't count on all the bones in my body the number of times I've skipped breakfast and I can refuse anything."

"Not those you can't."

Anna frowned, "You make it sound almost militant."

"Not militant, just unforgettable." John shrugged, holding off the waiter reaching for the dessert menu. "Honestly, they're the best part of the stay. They're so good that they opened it as a restaurant so everyone could have them. You seriously can't miss them and it's like a local legacy you'd-"

"I get it." Anna sat up, waving him off. "Lunch then."

"Good show." John winked at her and handed the menu to the waiter, letting the young man finally sigh. "She'll take two."

"No, I-" Anna tried to argue but the waiter was already gone. She turned back to John with a glare, "Bastard."

"Nope, sorry, my parents were married." John dodged the chip she threw in his direction. "You'll not regret it."

"All of my clothes will regret it."

"Please, if anything you're nothing but skin and bones. A feather pretending at being a person." John sized her up, "All those fish and chip dinners I'd imagine."

"You're not totally wrong there."

"And it's not like you've got anything else for that minifridge but water bottles and whatever else you're not touching because they'll cost you money."

"I've not even got those at the moment."

"You planned to spend a month in Australia and you didn't prepare for it?"

Anna shrugged, "This is one of the oddest cases of 'spur of the moment' and 'prepared' I've ever had."

"That's a thing?"

"Haven't you ever just thought something and then only planned enough to get it through the starting phases?"

"Maybe once."

"When?"

"When I joined the Army. I walked past the station and said, 'Bugger it' and signed up."

"This isn't quite like that."

"I can tell." John sat back in his seat, arranging his napkin. "I get all the details of the trip, but why come?"

"Other than to find out the truth?"

"Yeah." John shrugged, "Let's be honest, it's nothing to you."

"Sorry?"

"So what if this woman's your great-grandmother? She's long dead and you aren't trying to solve the puzzle because it knocked something loose in your life." John leaned over the table. "So why is Anna Smith following the trail set down by her grandmother? Why did you come all this way?"

Anna sucked the insides of her cheeks a moment before shrugging. "I guess my grandmother and I were a lot alike. We both, in a way, were abandoned by our mothers and raised by someone else. I know my mother, and she's a mess, but there's something about her that makes it so I can't hate her… no matter what she does. Even when I wanted to spit in her face I couldn't summon the saliva to do it."

"It's biological."

"So they say." Anna shook her head, "But my grandmother… When she found out her parents weren't her parents it broke her. She never knew her real mother and anything she did know was lost to the mists of time and tide. It was a struggle for her to understand why her parents abandoned her. I knew why mine abandoned me and that didn't make it better but…"

"At least you knew."

"Exactly." Anna shrugged, "It's not perfect but it does give you a bit of peace. So if there was a possibility that I could know then maybe she'll know too."

"If she could know the why of it all then it'd give her peace?"

Anna nodded, "I think she wanted to know why. The same things we all want to know because, as human beings, we crave resolution. We want life to make sense and when it doesn't it tears at us."

"So you're hoping making this right might balance the world again?"

"Or at least give me peace for her." Anna cringed, "Is that selfish?"

"We're human beings. We're all a little bit selfish."

"Says the man who paid for dinner, drove me around all day, and just bought two desserts."

"I said human beings were a little bit selfish, not completely selfish."

"No kidding." Anna frowned at him, "What kind of peace are you looking for?"

"Who says I'm looking for peace?"

"Everyone needs peace about something." Anna traced her finger over him in the air. "You mentioned earlier you used to be married."

"Is that a question?"

"It's supposed to be subtle."

John snorted, "Do you conduct interrogations like this?"

"You'd be surprised what people tell you when they think they're just telling you little details or shooting the breeze."

"Shooting themselves in the foot more like."

"Says the man with one foot."

"Touché."

Anna dusted her hands, "I once had someone tell me the details of the entire murder before their lawyer could even get there."

"Proud of yourself?"

"You would be too if you managed to get around the bloody British legal system because the murderer was the biggest dumbass you'd ever met."

"It's a miracle."

"See," Anna wagged her finger at John. "That tells me there's a story there."

John sighed, nodding. "Alright, fair is fair. I was in prison once."

"Before or after you lost your leg?"

"Before." John knocked on the prosthetic. "They would've confiscated this and had me hobbling over the place because it could be used as a weapon."

"As someone who once got beaned in the head by someone's fake arm, I can attest to that." Anna waved John on, "Maybe later. You were telling your story, not the other way around."

"Fine." John leaned over the table, "I once pulled a prank that wasn't… Well it was a bit more dangerous than originally intended but I thought the blighter deserved it so I didn't feel too bad until it caught his house on fire."

"You set someone's house on fire?"

"No, I set up a complicated firework display in his front room that caught his house on fire." John shrugged, "He got out, and so did his malicious cat, but the police called it arson and I was brought up in front of a judge."

"Hence the miracle of the system?"

"I had a good lawyer who convinced the judge to not throw the book at me. I got probation and community service where I helped at a nursing home."

"Not bad."

"For two years."

Anna cringed, "I can imagine that had more impact."

"I met so many veterans that I couldn't stop myself when I finally passed that recruiting station. I just walked right in and three weeks later I was rolling out of bed like everything was on fire for the next ten years."

"You don't make it sound too incredible."

"It's one of those things, like secondary school, that you're glad you're finished with but you're also glad you got the memories that came along with it."

"Is that how you met your wife?"

"My ex-wife did tend to find me rather dashing in my uniform." John winced, "Until I came home missing a bit more of my leg than she was comfortable with."

"Not a 'bear through it all' kind of person?"

"She had us divorced before I finished physical therapy."

"Good riddance to her." Anna finished the water in her glass. "I can't stand fair-weather-friends."

"She was my wife."

"Then she missed the part of the vows where you say 'better or for worse'." Anna cracked a piece of ice between her teeth. "They weren't just talking about financials or wrinkles."

"Not everyone's got the constitution for it."

"I guess I just judge people based on the actions of my grandfather."

"Do you mean Superman?" John shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure you'd find another person as incredible as he was."

"I've been trying but all the evidence says you're right." Anna sighed, "I guess that's why I just keep dating an endless line of sots."

"In the words of _Perks of Being a Wallflower_ , 'We accept the love we think we deserve' and sometimes that means we've already accepted defeat."

"Have you?"

John pursed his lips, focusing on the table and yet nothing at all for a moment before looking up at her. "Maya Angelou once said, 'Love liberates, it doesn't bind' and I've a hard time accepting that any woman would find it liberating to live with someone in my position."

"Because you've got to declare your leg at the airport?"

"Because I'm tied to this place." John chuckled, "I love it here but so many people want to leave. It's too old, it's too small, or it's too something they don't want. Plus, I think I've about dated every eligible woman in this town and they're not interested in the bartender with the crazy relatives."

"Are they worried that there's too high a probability it's genetic?"

"No idea."

"Well," Anna sighed, "I guess it's about what people really want."

"What do you want?"

"I want to find someone that I could honestly say I love." Anna shrugged and folded her hands on the table. "Someone who could say that they hope it's them and me at the end."

"So, love then?"

"And someone to help fill my medications when I'm old." Anna laughed, "My medicine cabinet will be an absolute forest of bottles when I'm that old."

"It's not that way now?"

"I've got about five I've got to take regularly." Anna waved it off, "Most of them are just precautionary but I don't want to be one of those people that stopped taking their meds and then wakes up in the middle of some Tube station with only their jim-jams on whilst wondering how they got there."

"Is that a worry?"

"You never know." Anna paused and then shook her head. "Probably not though. I'd just suddenly find it difficult to read maps, signs, and anything else to tell me how to get anywhere. And the world would be too loud. Probably have a fit or a nervous breakdown or something. It'd be dramatic and embarrassing but not deadly. Might lose me my job though."

"Because you'd be a hazard?"

"Something like that." Anna sighed, "And I've got gun certification so there's that worry for them. You can't get one easily but I'm qualified to use one should the situation call for it and I don't think my superiors would be head over heels for the idea of me using one when I'm a potentially unreliable nervous wreck."

"I guess we're both just a little broken." John smiled at the waiter, taking the containers from his hands and exchanging them for a note. "Thanks mate."

"But this is-" The teenager looked over the note as John helped Anna from her seat. "This is too much to-"

"Keep the change." John winked at him, leading Anna out of the restaurant.

She narrowed her eyes at him as he opened the door for her. "I'm sure you just tipped him something like thirty quid."

"More like twenty-five dollars but sure." John maneuvered between the cars. "It's a rough business, food service."

"Personal experience?"

"We've all had our side hustles."

"And I've kept you too long from yours." Anna took the containers and slid into the car. "Is that where you're going after this?"

"Probably home actually." John eased into his seat, "My leg needs a good rest and a deep-tissue massage."

"I'd offer but I think that's a little too forward for only knowing you…" Anna checked her phone, holding the containers balanced in her other hand. "Twelve hours. Wow, it just flew by."

"Couldn't agree more." They drove back to the Baxley, Anna extracting herself with John's help, and waiting for him to walk her to the door. "It's been a lovely evening Ms. Smith."

"It's been a lovely day." Anna paused, holding the containers before setting them on the ledge of her window. "I was curious about something."

"I don't out on the first date."

"Don't put out what on the first date?"

"Anything below the belt." John smiled and then nodded, "That's not what you wanted though."

"No, but it's good to know." Anna folded her arms over her chest. "Could I take another tour of the house tomorrow?"

"Sure." John closed one eye, as if to focus the other on a memory. "There are a couple historical tours there and a scouting team for some period piece but otherwise it's all open."

"Good to know."

"Any particular reason?"

Anna bit her lip and then spoke. "That room, from this afternoon, I just… I feel like there's something there and I want to find it."

"You'd mentioned something like a ghost."

Anna shrugged, "Maybe it's something along those lines or it's just a gut feeling really. Nothing you can quantify but mine's reliable."

"I tend not to ignore mine."

"And I don't want to ignore this one."

John nodded, "Alright then. I'll come get you around noon and you'll have at least two hours undisturbed in the house."

"I couldn't-"

"Ms. Smith," John put up a hand. "I've had, arguably, the best twelve-hour date of my life and I'd like to repeat it again tomorrow."

Anna smiled, nodding. "I'd like that as well."

"Then," John risked a step forward and Anna forced her lungs to exhale and inhale normally as her heartbeat fluttered. "May I kiss you goodnight?"

"You know what they say about those who kiss on the first date."

"I already promised that's not a first date activity." John waited, "May I?"

"I'd be a little upset if you didn't." Anna tipped up slightly so their lips met.

It was a moment. It was an eternity. It was too soft. It was too hard. It had too much tongue. It had too little tongue. It was too moist. It was too dry. It was… over before Anna's brain could settle.

They stared at one another a moment before Anna put her hand up to John's neck, his went to her cheek, and they crashed together. Fumbling slightly, delicately balanced, they managed to move to the door so something solid supported them as they attacked one another's mouths. Lips loosened and tongues tangled before Anna had to push away for air.

"I wish you didn't have a rule."

"For the first time in my life I wish I didn't either."

"Sod it," Anna put a quivering finger to her lips before pulling away. "I think you're right though. It wouldn't-"

"No finesse."

"Exactly." Anna nodded, "We'd just-"

"Ruin the moment."

"Perfect." Anna reached for the containers, digging her keycard from her purse to slid into the door. "I'll see you tomorrow Mr. Bates."

"Until then, Ms. Smith."

* * *

 _Anna opened her eyes, fingers curling in the empty sheets around her. She sat up, hurrying to pull the sheets to her throat when someone entered the room, and backed to the headboard. John stopped in the doorway, his dressing gown tied tightly around his waist as he carried a small tray in his hands. They stared at one another across the room a moment before John finally crossed it and set the tray next to her._

 _"I'm sorry if I startled you."_

 _"No," Anna shook her head, slipping further to give John room to sit next to her and not disturb the tray. "I just… I've never…"_

 _"I know." John reached out a hand, hesitating for a moment before laying it on one of her tightened fists. "I hope you're not too… sore."_

 _"I don't even know what 'too sore' means in this case." Anna's fingers relaxed a little, scraping against the insides of his until his hand dropped and allowed her to maneuver the sheet as she willed. "But you were… very kind."_

 _"That's… That's good." John paused and then shook his head as if to clear it of other thoughts. "Anna, I don't want to-"_

 _"I'm sorry I've said too much and I-"_

 _John reached out for her hand, stopping her moving from the bed. "Please don't… I don't want you to…"_

 _"Don't what?"_

 _"Don't leave." He took a deep breath. "I've never… I've never done this before and I'm not very good at it."_

 _"I would be more disappointed if you had."_

 _"But…" John stopped again, words failing him. He took the tray and moved it from the bed to the little table before coming back to her. "I don't want you to think this is… That I'm…"_

 _"I think we're both rather bad at this." Anna tried to smile and reach for him but stopped herself, the sheet almost falling. "We're not made for this kind of thing."_

 _"I won't force you if you thought-"_

 _"It was wonderful." Anna leaned over to put her hand on his as he turned._

 _"But you just said-"_

 _"I know." Anna closed her eyes. "I don't feel forced and I wouldnt' have said 'yes' if I thought you had any other intentions."_

 _"My only intention is to love you, if that's possible." John let out a breath, his whole body deflating. "It's difficult to say that and feel like I can mean it when there's nothing I can promise beyond this."_

 _"And what is 'this'?"_

 _"The dark of the night, us slipping between bedrooms, stolen moments when no one is around, dark corners so no one else can see." John met her eyes, "A secret. A lie."_

 _"You think this is a lie?"_

 _"How can it be anything but that when we can't act on what we feel for one another?" John edged closer to her, taking her hands in his so only her arms pressed tightly to her side kept the sheet from falling, and swallowed before continuing. "When I can't promise you anything more than this?"_

 _"Would you want to?"_

 _"I'd want to give you everything." John let their hands drop, but not separate, to the mattress. "I wish I'd met you a long time ago. Before… Before I could make this mistake. Before I was married and trapped and… Before I could do this to you."_

 _"I don't regret it." Anna let her thumb trace over his knuckles, focusing on their hands instead of on him. If she looked at him she could never speak. "No matter what happens, I could never regret it."_

 _"Me either." His fingers intertwined with hers. "I know I should, I should regret what I've done to you. What my selfishness has done to you. But I can't. I wouldn't change a moment of it."_

 _"I wish I'd met you sooner too." Anna finally lifted her head. "I wish I'd met you when I could hold your hand in public and kiss you in the out of doors."_

 _"Or just sit at the same table and eat something." John lifted his other hand, running his fingers down her cheek. "Just be with you."_

 _"We have this moment." Anna tightened her fingers in his, sliding toward him on the bed and loosening her arms a bit to let the sheet fall from her. "Can we let it be enough? For everything else we'll face can we just let these moments be enough?"_

 _"Yes." John nodded, tilting forward to put his lips on hers. "A thousand times yes. Always yes."_

 _They moved closer to one another, pulling at fingers and sheets and clothing until Anna sat in John's lap with her legs wrapping around him. His kisses trailed over her jaw and around her face while she tried to caress every part of him she could reach. Each and every glide of her hands helped her memorize him, tuck away the pieces of him she needed for the moment she could only stare from a distance, and brought them closer until they were one body._

 _John twisted to the side and Anna put one hand to the headboard to hold herself in place as his hands drifted down her thighs. His gentle and insistent touch opened them so he could slip his body through the gap. A gap Anna did not have a moment to wonder at before both of her hands clutched at the headboard._

 _Anna could only hold herself up on her shaking knees, digging them into the mattress to mimic the violent hold her hands had on the carved headboard. His lips retraced the steps from earlier- was it only that evening- and even found new places to leave her gasping and whimpering. Each run of his tongue matched the delicate exploration of his fingers until Anna's body responded. Internal muscles clenched and quivered under his attentions until Anna cried out what she could now recognize as a finish. Those awkward discussions as a child about the 'duties of women' did not cover the sensations that filled her to the brim with pleasure._

 _As her body settled, fingers cramped and indented from their vicious hold on the headboard, he slid out from under her. Anna released her fingers and John caught her, his arms around her abdomen as he helped to lay her on the bed. She settled on her side and he faced her, uncurling her fingers slowly to try and help sensation return to them._

 _But all Anna could focus on was his arousal. Something inside her, whether increased or only temporarily sated she could not tell, wanted to take him. Her hand pushed at his shoulder, fingers still curled but helping her hold him as she swung her leg over him. Her other hand flattened on his chest as spots dotted her vision._

 _John's hands went to her hips, steadying her as he had the night before but the sensual look of his eyes the night before fell to the moment of fear of her sway. Anna recovered herself in a moment, her eyes closing to try and keep her focus. When she opened her eyes again, meeting his, she leaned down to kiss him._

 _It was not as neat as she wished it could be but she put her energy into the kiss. Her hands held his cheeks, steering and controlling the kiss to guide them to the next step. The one that took more of his help than hers as her fingers struggled to guide him inside her. Once seated, both of them taking deep breaths to handle the situation and ready themselves for what lay ahead, Anna moved._

 _All the gathered lessons thus far left her more confident in her abilities. Confident enough to let her gaze wander for a moment about the room. When she caught sight of them in the mirror in the corner of the room she stopped. John sat up but all Anna could do was point and he grinned at her._

 _"Now you see what I see."_

 _"What's that?" Anna had her head turned to the side, watching as their bodies moved together and quite unable to look away._

 _"A goddess afire._

 _"A goddess?"_

 _"Absolutely." His lips moved over her skin and Anna whimpered as she watched it in the mirror while shivering with each touch. "A woman taking her pleasure from her most willing beneficiary."_

 _John paused, a hand snaked between them to bring Anna's eyes from the mirror to his while her hands gripped the back of his neck at the sparking of her delicate nerves under his caress. "An ethereal beauty giving and granting."_

 _"I'm not-" She tried to argue but John moved inside her, striking deep._

 _"You are all those things to me. All those and more." He bent his head and took her breast in his mouth. "I want to spend my life helping you understand how I feel about you. Understand all the things I feel for you."_

 _Anna came in a rush, falling onto him. A few more moments and John clutched tightly to her as he joined her. They drifted back to the bed, John holding Anna close, and this time she did not think about the missing ring from his finger._


	10. Sky Fall

Anna hurried out the door, tying her hair up as John held the car door open for her. "I know, I know, I'm sorry…"

"Sleep in?"

"It was that breakfast. I went, like you suggested I'll point out," Anna pointed at him as she got into the car, "And I ate it. And the next thing I know I was in a food coma for most of the morning."

"I told you it was good."

"I don't really have time to waste on food comas."

"You're on holiday." John shrugged, steering them out of the lot. "Live a little."

"The irony that I'm a homicide DI isn't lost on you?"

"Everyone deserves a holiday."

"Not sure I'm doing mine right then." Anna closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat. "Where would you holiday?"

"Honestly?" John whistled, "Maybe a nice little tour through Scotland, really get lost in the Highlands."

"Scotland?"

"My grandmother was a Keith."

"Well," Anna shrugged, "I guess if that kiss last night was anything to go by, you're definitely a Celtic warrior."

John almost steered them into another lane. "You are the worst."

"Serves you right." Anna folded her arms over her chest.

"Serves me right? Why does it serve me right?"

"You and your rule."

"You agreed it was a good idea."

"Until I gorged myself to a food coma this morning."

John snorted, "And that's my fault?"

"If you'd been sharing my bed last night I wouldn't have gotten up to eat so much this morning." Anna pulled a face, "Might've even been too busy this morning too but that might be wishful thinking."

"Would it be me reading too much into your personal life to guess that you were hoping for a holiday more along the lines of a very available cabana boy?"

"I can't claim to ever have had a cabana boy."

"Good because the fact I used 'boy' might mean there'd be legal issues with that decision."

"It's a phrase." Anna leaned her arm on the window, provided a catch for her head. "But you're right. I had a bad run of luck with Latin men."

"A run?"

"I dated about six in a row once and I realized I'm not cut out for that level of physical touch."

"Says the woman who keeps talking about how she wants to jump my bones."

"Hey," Anna held up a finger at him, "I never used the term 'jump your bones' because I'm classy."

"I'm sure your definition of 'classy' doesn't apply to the idea of subtlety."

"I'm subtle."

"Like a sledgehammer?"

"Screw you."

"If you got your way."

Anna snorted, laughing full out as she pushed her hand through her hair to take out the elastic and put it up a little more securely. "You're too much fun."

"Am I?"

"I've never had conversations with people the way I do with you." Anna flipped the visor down, sliding the screen over to adjust the mirror so she could better see her hair. "You can take a joke and yet not lose your cool. You've no idea how rare that is in a man."

"Maybe you've just dated the wrong men."

"I think it's more to do with the idea that I'm not actually dating them." Anna shut the visor and leaned toward John. "That 'run' was in the course of as many months. Each one was a flash in the pan."

"Men of the moment then?"

"With a job like mine it's difficult to find the time."

"People do."

"Let me rephrase," Anna coughed, "I find it difficult."

"Any particular reason?"

"I focus on my work. One of the tricks of my… Issues, revolves around my inability to effectively focus. Now I've developed the skills to focus on one thing at a time but if it's more than one then I'm shit at it."

"So dating is…?"

"Pretty much just occasional dinners and a few decent shags before it's all over because I keep forgetting about dates or I can't focus on them or I find myself talking a little too in detail about my job." Anna shrugged, "My Gran used to say my problem was that I didn't have a person I wanted to focus on more than my job."

"The job you got because it was your grandfather's?"

"We all want to grow up to be like our heroes."

"But how many of us actually become our heroes?"

"I'm not my hero." Anna shook her head, "If I were I wouldn't be here trying to bring peace to people who already found it."

"Who says they found their peace?"

"The fact that I don't believe the dead care much about the world of the living." Anna waved a hand, "All this is mortal stuff. Once you're part of the ether of the universe this must all seem really trivial."

"I disagree." John stopped outside the gates, digging in the glove box in front of Anna to show a badge to the man manning the gate. "They always make me show this thing when I visit during regular hours."

"You think they'd have a sign with your picture that says 'Man Who Runs the Joint' right above his booth."

"You'd think." John parked in one of the reserved spaces. "But about the idea of the dead being involved in our lives-"

"Right, sorry." Anna unbuckled and turned sideways in her seat to look at John. "You said you believe in lost spirits yesterday."

"Exactly." John motioned at the house outside the windows. "They're there."

"Not that we've ever seen."

"But they're there. They were human and they know about the little things that tend to trouble humanity. They're not stupid and they're not foolish. They care about us because they share the human condition."

"You're suggesting the human condition is more than just flesh and bones."

"I think humans are the sum total of their experiences and that means that we've got more to focus on than just the mortal coil."

"Then why would it matter so much to us?" Anna opened her hands to him. "If we're still seeing the trees and not the forest, why do we care about bringing peace to those who see the forest for the trees?"

"I once had two very nice young men in white shirts and ties with shiny black tags tell me it's because our ancestors care about our survival and they're pushing on the veil between life and death to help us succeed."

"How kind of them."

"They were nice young men and while I didn't let them in I did give them water. Poor boys looked like they were about to collapse of heat stroke."

"I meant the dead." Anna shook her head, "Although I met a similar set of boys in London. Had the white shirts and everything. Maybe they were the same ones you met."

"I think it's a worldwide thing."

"Then how come they're all from Utah?"

"One of mine was from California."

"We're getting off topic." Anna shook her head, "If I heard you right, you think that we care about giving peace to the dead because they want us to give them peace and that gives us peace because we feel how they care about us? And then we all find peace together… Because we're all individually at peace?"

"Long and the short of it, yes."

"That's confusing."

"The endless struggle to understand the connection between life and death usually is. If it wasn't, they wouldn't keep making movies about it."

Anna shrugged, "I've heard worse justifications for things."

"So have I." John pointed toward the house, "Should I come in with you?"

"I'd welcome your company but I'll bet you've actually got errands or something to run since you do have things to do." Anna opened her door, "I'll be fine. I'm sure you'll get a call if I'm a nuisance before you come to get me later."

"I should start charging you as a taxi service."

"And I'll pay in something other than money, if you're interested."

"There we go again with your suggestive language and innuendos."

"You make it sound like a child warning." She climbed out of the car, bending down to look back in at him. "But the offer still stands."

"I'll think on it."

Anna closed the door, stepping back a pace so John could steer out of the lot, and then turned toward the house. She raised her head, looking up at the roof to find the spot where her great-grandmother had leapt to her death. Tracking the location, she stopped where the body landed and stood there a moment. She took a turn in place and sighed.

"What happened to you?"

"Excuse me?" Anna's head came up, her hand half in her bag, and frowned at the woman approaching her. "Are you here for a tour?"

"No." Anna shook her head, dropping her bag to hang on her shoulder. "I'm-"

"If you're not in one of the tours then you'll have to go. This is private property and we don't-"

"I think you've confused me with someone else. Mr. Bates said I could-"

"Mr. Bates?" The woman stopped and looked about her. "Is Mr. Bates here?"

"No, he's just left, but he said it would be alright for me to-"

"Oh right," The woman put her palm to her forehead, continuing on a moment later with a laugh and her Scottish brogue. "I'm sorry. I completely forgot that he'd asked for some time for a friend of his to investigate the property."

"Sorry about that." Anna shrugged, "I guess I didn't introduce myself and that's got to make it a bit hard to know who I am."

"Even if you'd introduced yourself with anything other than 'friend of Mr. Bates' I wouldn't know you from Adam." She extended her hand, "Rachel Sinderby. I'm the Head of the Historical Society and I manage the tourist aspect of this place."

"Make sure they don't paint the walls or gum up the locks?"

"About the long and the short of it." Mrs. Sinderby took back her hand. "And what makes you so interested in the house?"

"I'm pretty sure my great-grandmother died here." Anna put a hand to her chest, "Anna Smith."

Mrs. Sinderby's eyes grew to twice their normal size. " _The_ Anna Smith?"

"I think, in a long and complicated story kind of way, I was named after her." Anna pointed toward the roof. "That's where she-"

"Jumped to her death." Mrs. Sinderby nodded and then flailed her hands a moment as if she could not tell where she should put them. "This is… An incredible opportunity for me."

"Sorry?"

"I've… It's not a conspiracy theory, per se, but it's a theory I've always had that Ms. Smith was more than just the governess who went mad and took a tumble from the top of the house."

"Mr. Moseley, from the archives, seems to share your opinion."

"We're the ones trying to find proof of it but…" Mrs. Sinderby reached out a hand, "Could I offer you a tour of the house?"

"Mr. Bates gave me a perfunctory one yesterday."

"Then allow me to focus on some places I think might have a bit more meaning for you." Mrs. Sinderby waved Anna forward and they entered the house. "I've studied as much as I could about this house and everyone who's lived here since the early eighteen hundreds."

"Is that when it was built?"

"Quite nearly. A British lord took his money and decided to invest it in Australia, thought it would do better than the land he had in England since there was no end to cheap labor."

"Wanted to keep him money then?"

"Didn't they all?"

"Then thank goodness for the idea of shipping your prisoners to the other side of the world I guess." Anna held the strap on her rucksack and followed Mrs. Hughes into the library. "Then what?"

"He had no direct heirs and the only blood heir he had was adopted in the eighteen-sixties by a family who owned a ranch near here." Mrs. Sinderby pointed to a large portrait on the wall. "That's them."

Anna gawked at the man as tall as John, his hands on the shoulders of two boys while a dark boy and a blonde girl sat on the lap of the woman sitting in front of the man. A woman with equally blonde hair and appearing even more diminutive compared to her hulking husband. But even the height disparity did nothing to destroy the utter adoration and affection shared between them. Her head tipped toward him and his head tipped down so they could gaze into one another's eyes despite the focus of the portrait.

"Mr. Bates told me that his family was descended from a Sheriff near Kirandra. Someone who then lived here at Snowy River."

"That's him, Sheriff John Bates." Mrs. Sinderby pointed to the man. "The dark boy there was actually the only surviving heir to the house, despite his… illegitimate status. He left his inheritance and title, through some rather delicate and careful legal finagling, to his older brother."

"His adopted brother, yes?"

"That's right. When the heir passed, rather unfortunately, in service to the Empire his brother took on the house. He's the grandfather of John Bates or Lord Grange who died here while his younger brother is our Mr. Bates's direct ancestor."

Anna could not stop staring at the portrait. "They look so happy."

"From all accounts they were." Mrs. Sinderby clapped her hands together, startling Anna. "But we're here about the unfortunate tragedy of the house, not the good times. More's the pity, I would say."

"I would too." Anna forced herself away from the portrait and followed Mrs. Hughes to a corner of the library. "I've actually got a rather… random, question in that regard, if I can ask."

"Are you curious if anyone else has ever died here? It's a common question so I wouldn't be too fussed if you had it too." Mrs. Sinderby bent to look on a lower shelf for something. "As far as I know, the only ones to die in this house were Ms. Smith and the Lord and Lady Grange."

"I'm actually not as curious about who's died here as I am about… Well it's more…" Anna clacked her teeth together. "Have you seen ghosts here?"

Mrs. Sinderby paused, rising slowly with a book in her hands, and pivoted to face Anna. "As in astral projections or spiritual manifestations?"

"Either… Or both?" Anna shrugged as she flustered a second, "It's not the 'seeing' as much as it's… a feeling. Or even the vague sensation that something brushed your shoulder but you're in the middle of the hall all on your own. That kind of thing."

"And you think there might be that sort of thing here?"

"It's an old house and they're, traditionally, haunted."

"So the movies say." Mrs. Sinderby pursed her lips, focusing on the carpeted floor a moment before nodding ever so slightly. "I do believe I have had that."

"You have?"

"Upstairs near…" Mrs. Sinderby looked at the book in her hand before setting it on the table to the side. "That'll keep. Follow me please."

Anna kept up with the woman's determined stride as they ascended the beautifully carved staircase to the second floor. They turned the corners Anna recognized from the day before and stopped at the door she knew. The door where the sensation of another being guided her.

The room she knew, without being told, belonged to her great-grandmother.

Mrs. Sinderby opened the door and led the way inside. Anna tentatively followed, more conscious of the space than before. "Here. It's the only room in the house where I've ever felt anything."

"Nothing malicious though, yes?"

"Hardly malicious. If anything it was almost… sad. Like someone had lost something rather precious to them and had no idea how to find it again." Mrs. Sinderby paced the room to the windows on the other side. "Being in here is almost like… I don't know but it's… Almost a violation, of sorts."

"An invasion of privacy?" Anna nodded, looking around the room before spotting the bookcase. "Are these books part of the collection downstairs?"

"No, those were the books in this room when… When Ms. Smith died." Mrs. Sinderby joined Anna at the case and they both crouched next to it to see the books. "Based on the inscriptions inside I'd guess they were her personal collection. They've been inventoried as such but I've not inspected the records myself."

"And no one's claimed them?"

"The funny thing, or it was funny until I met you today, was that they're all bequeathed to her daughter." Mrs. Sinderby pulled out one book, handling it carefully. "And while the collection's not anything spectacular, especially by the standards of the library downstairs, there are some rarer volumes here that would fetch a nice price if one were inclined to sell them."

"I'm sure." Anna smiled and then stopped, reaching for a large book at the end of the bottom shelf. "I know this one."

She yanked it free, careful of the balance of the other books, and arranged herself to sit cross-legged so she could open the book over her knees. Her fingers traced over the gold lettering, looking so new compared to the volume in her hotel room. "My grandmother had this exact book."

"Did she?" Mrs. Sinderby made a noise, standing quickly. "That's uncommon."

"Why'd you say that?"

"That's a rare edition of the Grimm Fairy Tales. Older ones that bare some of the original translations."

"I do remember them being a bit more gruesome than the Disney versions." Anna flipped through the pages, marveling at the gold-leaf still on the pages. "It's like looking at the new version of the one I have."

"You have one?"

"Yeah but it's old and worn." Anna shrugged and went to look back at the book but caught Mrs. Sinderby's eye. "Is there something wrong?"

"It's…" Mrs. Sinderby pointed to the book and then motioned for Anna to stand. "Come with me."

Anna grabbed the book carefully, bringing it with her, and followed Mrs. Sinderby back to the library. This time the other woman did not debate where to start her search but tugged a large volume from a shelf near the door. Huffing a bit with the weight, she set it on a table and opened it to the page she needed.

Pointing to the line on the desired page, Mrs. Sinderby beckoned Anna closer. Setting the book of fairy tales aside, Anna leaned over the page as Mrs. Sinderby explained. "Listed in the library registry there's always been two copies of that book. One was annotated as being a gift from Lord Granges father to him on his tenth birthday. The second one was earmarked for his heir as their gift."

"So Ms. Smith stole it and gave it to my grandmother?"

"It's possible but not what I think."

"And what do you think my grandmother was doing with an earmarked copy of a valuable book of fairy tales?"

"I believe that Ms. Smith gave that book to her daughter because she believed that child was Lord Grange's heir."

Anna coughed, her mind trying to find traction with the statement. "I'm sorry, I don't think I quite understood that."

"Really?"

"It's ridiculous." Anna shook her head, "My great-grandmother wouldn't have… She's not…"

But Anna had to stop the attempt at argument. Being completely honest, with herself and everyone else, meant admitting she had no idea what her great-grandmother would or would not do. They never met. She barely even met her own daughter much less three generations removed from her. What kind of suppositions could Anna make about a stranger? A dead stranger. A dead stranger who had tossed herself…

"That's why she killed herself." Anna chewed the inside of her cheek.

"I'm sorry?" Mrs. Sinderby frowned, "Now it's me that doesn't understand."

"My great-grandmother put my grandmother on a train to Melbourne with nothing but the companion to this book." Anna tapped the tome on the table. "If she believed her child was Lord Grange's heir then why not let her be raised here?"

"There is the sticky issue of Lord Grange being very much still married to Vera Bates, the Lady Grange. Any child of his with another woman would've been illegitimate. No matter what the circumstances of the relationship between he and your great-grandmother."

"And so there goes all of my great-grandmother's hopes." Anna drew her finger across the cover of the book. "If she raised her daughter than she'd grow up scorned and forgotten, the bastard daughter of an unwed woman who lost her reputation. It was the only option."

"I'm not sure being an orphan was a better sentence for a young child."

"But it was better than living here. It could be why she sent her to Melbourne, get her away from it all."

"And yet she didn't go with her." Ms. Sinderby pointed her finger toward the ceiling, as if it could penetrate the layers to the room and roof above. "She flung herself from that rooftop in nineteen-thirty-two."

"If we all still believe she killed herself."

"She was, by your theory, a very grief-stricken and desperate woman. It's within the realms of possibility."

"True."

"I'm still confused why she didn't just go with her. Other than being an unwed woman with an illegitimate child at a very unforgiving time, of course."

"Maybe she wanted to join her daughter but couldn't get away." Anna dug into her bag for the copy of the newspaper clipping. "They called her demented. Maybe they were holding her against her will."

"It's possible that, given the time, they would've delivered the baby here in secret and wanted to keep her here to prevent a scandal."

"I'm sure having someone kill themselves in your house is a bigger scandal than an unwed mother." Anna tucked the clipping away. "But it's all semantics anyway. We don't know for sure."

"We would if we could prove Rose Smith was the blood daughter of Lord Grange." Mrs. Sinderby frowned, "His lawyers concluded, after his death, that the temporary will he drew up was legal and binding."

"Temporary?"

"Right before he died, two days before, in fact, he left a note with his lawyers that he'd send on the final draft of his will." Mrs. Sinderby shrugged, "But then he died and it was never found."

"So the will could say whether or not Rose Smith was his heir?"

"It could say a lot of things but they're all supposition at this point." Mrs. Sinderby sighed, "The dead don't tend to speak to us."

Anna nodded, "Good thing too or I'd be out of a job."

"Well, Ms. Smith, we could make this an investigation of sorts, see if our two minds can't crack the mystery here."

Anna grinned, "I'd like that very much."

"Although," Mrs. Sinderby sighed, "I do wish we could speak to the dead. Make it all a bit faster."

"But a little less fun."

"Indeed."


	11. Descendants Too

Anna rubbed her eyes and pushed the book away, "If I read another word my eyeballs'll fall out. I can't even see straight anymore."

"Sign of eyes well worked." Mrs. Sinderby turned another page. "That's what Mr. Moseley always says."

"Do you work with him a lot?"

"Between his archives and the ones here, we've got the largest collection in the area." Mrs. Sinderby snorted, "Which isn't hard but, all the same…"

"Isn't hard because everyone around here a hundred years ago was as obsessed with documenting their lives back then as they are now or because there's not much else around?" Anna sat back in her chair, putting her hands behind her head as Mrs. Sinderby shrugged, noting something on a page.

"Little of both I guess. It's the joy of the wealthy that you'd time to spend on documenting your life that the poorer classes do not."

"Then I guess Instagram was a good thing for the world?" Anna snorted, "It does make my everyday job easier."

"Does it?"

"Do you know how easy it is to track someone who uses Snapchat and Facebook and Instagram and Twitter to keep track of every minute of every day? I've had so many people give themselves up because they had to tag themselves in a photo or make sure someone knew what they were up to." She sighed, "A world obsessed with making sure someone's watching them."

"In this case, we could've done with people wanting to give a bit more information, if that's not being too picky." Mrs. Sinderby sat back. "From what I can tell, having spent a week combing every diary and journal and article I can find, Anna Smith was a respected woman in Snowy River until she died but I couldn't find any trace of suspicion that she was even pregnant, much less had a child."

"We know she did."

"Which is why I decided to consult a little lower down the social totem pole." Mrs. Sinderby passed over a set of notes. "The woman who wrote the article, Sarah O'Brien, kept a notebook that the newspaper passed onto the archive before they closed their doors forever in the early two-thousands."

Anna looked at the notes and her eyebrows rose. "She wasn't Ms. Smith's biggest fan, was she?"

"It's an interesting conundrum, since I've no records that they even knew one another in a social setting." Mrs. Sinderby pointed with her pencil. "But she's got a lot of… What's the word they use now, shade?"

"She's throwing shade?"

"That's the word." Mrs. Sinderby shook her head, "Daniel's always using words like that and I never understand them."

"Is Daniel your son?" Anna flipped through the notes but paused when she saw Mrs. Sinderby's face. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No," Mrs. Sinderby shook her head. "It's… My husband, also named Daniel, had a period where he… Stepped out, I believe is a phrase I can use. Daniel was the result of that particular indiscretion."

"And you know about Daniel?"

"I met Daniel's mother, quite unintentionally, at a Christmas celebration my daughter-in-law planned." Mrs. Sinderby smiled, "Rose is such a lovely girl."

"I've been hearing about a lot of Roses lately." Anna read over the notes again, "My grandmother's real name was, according to the letter, named Rose and there's a girl in the human resources department at my station is named Rose."

"Atticus's Rose works in human resources while he works accounting." Mrs. Sinderby paused and Anna narrowed her eyes. "You work for the London Met?"

"I'm one of their Dis." Anna managed a snort, "Imagine that. You go all the way around the world and just meet people you could've met in your own backyard if you'd actually chucked a rock to find them."

"I doubt we would've met in London," Mrs. Sinderby almost gave a full-body shudder. "I don't particularly like London. My husband always did but I…"

"Is he…"

"Two years ago now." Mrs. Sinderby quieted, her pencil tip trembling slightly against her notepad. "It's how I came to have Daniel. His mother, God rest her soul, made me his guardian in the case of her death."

"And she's deceased as well?"

"She and my husband died in a car accident together." Anna did not speak, the possible implications of the event almost too much for her. "Daniel's mother had breast cancer and told my husband about it. I insisted it was his job to care for her. She had, through his actions, become our responsibility and we needed to act on it."

"Did your husband take well to that?"

"I promised not to tell Atticus about Daniel and my husband had no choice but to agree." Mrs. Sinderby shrugged, "God puts people in your path and you can do nothing but help and serve them."

"That's a very… mature way to look at it."

"I'm Jewish. We've learned maturity the hard way." Mrs. Sinderby sighed. "The great irony of the accident was that the doctors were sure her breast cancer was going into remission. The chemotherapy treatment was effective and she was getting a job that would've taken she and Daniel closer to her family. They were moving on with their life and then…"

Anna kept the quiet a moment before speaking. "So you moved here?"

"Daniel's grandmother, on his mother's side, is here. We share a kind of custody and it's good for him to be near his family." Mrs. Sinderby shrugged and went back to her work, "My husband's family is all passed and I promised I'd never tell Atticus. Not unless Daniel wants to meet his half-brother and, thus far, he's not interested in it."

"You kept saying that Atticus doesn't know but he's married and-"

"Rose knows." Mrs. Sinderby looked up at Anna. "She was the one who told me. Thought I deserved to know after she saved all of us considerable embarrassment at the Christmas party I mentioned. She managed it all, made everyone believe that Diana Clark was her old friend from school in the area and stranded because of the weather. I believed the whole thing."

"Rose is rather special." Anna smiled, "She's my best friend's cousin and we've… We've had a few interactions. All pleasant."

"She's a very special person and I'm lucky Atticus has her." Mrs. Sinderby sighed, "It's probably why this job intrigued me so much."

"How's that?"

"Without meaning to come off as rude or accusatory-"

"I won't take anything you say as unfair aspersion, I promise." Anna shrugged, "I get the feeling my family is… Very intriguing for all the wrong reasons."

"Then accept my assessment that, as the first woman who was almost the subject of a scandal, I thought I'd feel more kinship with Lady Grange."

"Because you'd both been… scorned?"

"I wouldn't call what my husband did to me scorning." Mrs. Sinderby sighed, "It's an interesting conundrum, is it not? For women, when she cheats outside the bonds of marriage she's a horrible slut in the eyes of her husband but in need of excitement in the eyes of her friends. For men, when they cheat, they're searching for a way to feel young again or they're incorrigible bastards without a thought or care for feelings and the foundations of marriage."

"But you don't feel that way?"

"It's selfishness really. To be the woman who's the other, the scandal, the secret, it's humiliating and horrible but you also wonder what possesses a woman to believe the man will leave his wife and risk everything for a temporary distraction." Mrs. Sinderby let a beat pass before speaking again. "And then you realize that they already know that. They're not fools, just selfish and looking for affection or adoration or attention. It's nothing we've not all done, at one point or another, in our own lives."

"Usually through different means."

"True, but I don't think your great-grandmother was looking to wreck this house. I think she was just looking for the love she believed she deserved."

Anna managed a little smile, "John used that term the other day."

"And I think it was what Ms. Clark wanted from my husband. He was lonely and feeling weak and fell into temptation. It's not a new story." Mrs. Sinderby shook her head, "And I think Lord Grange was the same, for different reasons."

"Why'd you say that?"

"There was a housekeeper who worked at Bushwarden Base when Lord Grange was alive. She would've been your great-grandmother's superior, in the scheme of house hierarchy, and she had nothing nice to say about the Lady Grange in her diaries." Mrs. Sinderby pointed toward them. "I've read through the entire catalogue of them, generously donated by her surviving family for the house, and she consistently mentions late-night gentleman callers to Lady Grange's rooms and the horrible spats the ladies' maids to Lady Grange always spoke about hearing."

"Do we have any of their diaries?"

"A few of them."

"What'd they say?"

"Just that she was always unhappy. Always muttering and cursing her husband who, according to every record I have, was nothing but generous and kind to all his employees."

"So he cheats on his wife with the governess because he's feeling lonely in the marriage and wants to get his leg over?"

"I doubt it's ever that simple."

"But, as far as we know, there wasn't anyone else in my great-grandmother's life." Anna chewed the inside of her cheek. "Did she keep a diary? Anything found with her things after her died?"

"Unfortunately, based on what I found in Mrs. Bird's diaries, all of Anna Smith's things were burned when she died." Mrs. Sinderby shook her head in dismay. "They worried it might carry whatever she was supposed to have and were ordered to burn it, to prevent infection."

"Almost sounds medieval is if weren't a reasonable health practice." Anna put her elbows on the table and clasped her hands together. "Okay, did Mrs. Bird ever say in her diaries if she helped deliver a baby?"

"She mentioned it briefly." Mrs. Sinderby passed over the notes for that as well. "She was a trained midwife, not uncommon in the days when everyone wore multiple hats, and delivered a baby in the house on the night you mentioned. Or, technically early in the morning. But she wrote about it very little."

Anna cleared her throat. _"It's a terrible tragedy. The whole business is rotten from the inside out. With a baby asleep in the nursery, like she wasn't just born in the Governess's room, and the Lady herself fawning and leering over it… Makes my skin crawl._

 _"_ _Worse still is the Master. A kinder soul you never meet and yet subjected to such torture. For all the tears cried in this house tonight, his are the quietest and the ones filled with the most pain. Only to be outmatched by those of the Governess herself. I think they both cried themselves to sleep tonight."_

Anna put the notes down. "Then my grandmother was, most likely, Lord Grange's daughter. Why else put her in the nursery and have him at the birth?"

"That's the thing." Mrs. Sinderby wagged a finger, "I don't think she was supposed to be your grandmother."

"How'd you mean?"

"Notice her mention of your grandmother in the nursery and Lady Grange standing over her with a leer?"

"It was a bit more… descriptive than I would've guessed."

"Lady Grange was, infamously, barren." Mrs. Sinderby tapped back at the notes from the newspaper columnist. "Sarah O'Brien and Lady Grange were, by all accounts, friends in childhood. Lady Grange, when she took the title, was the one who gave Ms. O'Brien her job at the paper."

"It's a good way to dig up gossip on those you don't like." Anna rolled her eyes and passed those notes back. "Or bury the people you want to get rid of."

"It would explain her obsession with rumors about your great-grandmother."

"You mean the article about her death?"

"No, I mean before that." Mrs. Sinderby had Anna flipped back a few pages in the notes. "From what I can tell, there was a rumor going around about Lord Grange having an affair with Ms. Smith. It wasn't published news, and therefore not libelous, but it was slander."

Anna shook her head, "But this date makes no sense. It's before the affair could've occurred and resulted in my grandmother's birth."

"But then the rumors stopped and, low and behold, within a year there's a new baby at Bushwarden Base."

"You're suggesting that Lady Grange, in a fit of jealous rage, has her friend spread rumors about her husband schtupping the governess for a few weeks before taking all that back so they can engage in an affair?"

"Mrs. Bird wrote about Ms. Smith handing in her notice, working it, and then being all ready to leave before Lady Grange told her it was settled and Ms. Smith was staying." Mrs. Sinderby pulled her notes toward her to read.

" _Those rumors, about Ms. Smith, aren't to be heard anywhere. I never believed them myself. An angel like her being involved in something as scandalously disgusting as sleeping with the Lord. Never in my life._

 _"_ _But now you don't hear a peep. Anyone even begins to say it they get all flustered and muffled like someone cast a curse on those who might speak ill of her now. Those who made it nigh on impossible for her to go to town without looks and whistles and scowls. If only they knew the kind of woman they thought they were defending with their false accusations. They'd think differently if they knew about the men visiting her rooms in the nighttime. Or the little trips to the garden she takes… Like I don't know every nook and cranny of this house._

 _"_ _But now the Lady's all flowers and hearts toward our Governess. Like she's the prize to be won when she's been nothing but horrible to her for weeks. Made the poor girl's life Hell she has, and with no remorse for it._

 _"_ _It's… I don't know. My father raised cattle and I knew the eye he kept for his breeding mares. I know the way he saw them and it's that same look in her Lady's eye now when she sees the Governess. Like it's not 'Ms. Smith' anymore but an animal to fatten up for auction. Or breed for milk and meat._

 _"_ _Makes me fear that her 'changing her mind about her notice' wasn't just her that's changed her mind. Honestly? It would've been best if she'd gone back to Melbourne. Maybe even gone as far as England if she had to. Anything to get away from the poison that I almost feel seeping through the walls here."_

"Breeding her?" Anna blinked, "You think Lady Grange wanted my grandmother for herself. As an heir?"

"It wouldn't be too far outside the realms of belief." Mrs. Sinderby dug out an article. "According to the paper Ms. O'Brien worked for, she was all ready to publish an announcement of the birth when Lord Grange squashed it."

"How would they announce the birth?"

"That Lady Grange gave birth to a beautiful baby girl."

Anna shook her head, "My grandmother was blonde. They'd never pass her off as the child of two dark headed people."

"Recessive genes could manage it."

"Maybe but she'd look too much like her mother." Anna paused, "They'd send her away. Give her some time to help ween the baby, maybe, and then get rid of her. Keep the baby as theirs until no one remembered the governess."

"It would be plausible enough." Mrs. Sinderby checked her phone. "I've kept you all day again."

"That's kind of the whole point of the exercise." Anna packed up her things. "The only problem is, even if we can plausibly suggest that my grandmother was the child of Lord Grange and his wife and he did make that mysterious will that's floating around this house somewhere, there's no way to prove it."

"Would you want to prove it?"

Anna paused, "I'm not looking to get money or anything out of this. For me it's more personal than that. I'm here to try and right a wrong that's too many years in arrears and realizing I don't think I can do anything but sate my curiosity about it in the end. There's no one to appease but me."

"So if you could prove it, you wouldn't want any of this?" Mrs. Sinderby motioned to the house around them.

"What would I even do with it?" Anna laughed, shaking her head. "If I owned it, I'd just let Mr. Bates turn it into his hotel. I don't need it and I can't say I'd want to have this house when I'd have no one to fill it with and nothing to do with it."

"What if it were yours?"

"Then it'd be mine." Anna shrugged, "The tragedy of all this is that even if this house and everything attached to it were mine, the family I hoped to find isn't here. There's no one left and it'd just be me. That's sad enough in my Gran's old house outside London. Imagine how sad that'd be here, with all these rooms to echo back at you just to remind you how lonely you are."

"Loneliness in a house I understand." Mrs. Sinderby nodded, clearing up their shared table and readying some of the books to go back into their cases and boxes. "I've experienced a bit of that myself."

"Is that why you kept Daniel?"

Mrs. Sinderby paused. "There comes a point when you realize you're not just helping someone because it's your duty but because it's your right, as a human being, to have companionship. I would've been all alone and he would've been just as alone in a strange place. Better for the two of us to weather the storm together."

"I couldn't agree more." Anna nodded at her, "I think I might take a break from all this tomorrow. Do a bit of sight-seeing."

"That's wide." Mrs. Sinderby tapped the books in her hands. "These'll keep."

Anna left through the back entrance of the house, moving around the side of it toward where she parked her rental car just to find John leaning on his. "What are you doing here?"

"We had an appraiser come back, give us an estimate on the changes needed to get this thing up to code if we wanted to move forward with the idea of the hotel."

"What answer did you get?"

John pushed off the car, "It'd take some doing but we could get it done within our projected budget."

"Now all you need is the actual heir."

"True." John jerked his head toward the house, "How's your research coming along in that regard?"

"I think we've all but confirmed our suspicions that my grandmother was the child of Lord Grange and my great-grandmother."

"Not that the second part was ever in question."

Anna scowled, "Oh ha, ha, so funny."

"I tend to think I am."

"I'm sure you do." Anna took a breath, "But it's not enough."

"Not enough to know that your grandmother was the heir to all this?"

"We've got no proof."

"Then we've just got to find that will."

"Even if we did find it, as I explained to Mrs. Sinderby in there, what's that going to do for us?"

"Gives you the house." John frowned, "Do you not want it?"

"I didn't even know there was a house here before I showed up." Anna let out a breath, "I… I guess I was here looking for family. I was hoping I'd find out that my grandmother was put on a train by a family that loved her and sent her away and searched for her but, ultimately, moved on. A family with cousins and relatives and stories to give me more than…"

"Than a suicide and two homicides?"

"All those are speculative." Anna bit her lip, "But you're right. I didn't come here for a house. I came here for something that I don't think I'll get."

"And the fact you timed your visit around Christmas says… What, exactly?"

"That I had the days and my grandmother died at the end of November." Anna leaned on John's car with him. "I think part of me hoped I'd find a family and we'd celebrate the holidays together."

"If you don't find it awkward or weird to say, given you've been hitting on me since you arrived, I'm technically the nearest relative you've got here."

"We're removed enough that this isn't a West Virginian family reunion." John frowned and Anna shook her head, "Never mind. It's a longer joke than I want to explain at the moment."

"Then let me offer you something."

"Your bed?"

"Now who's being funny?" Anna only winked as John continued. "I think you're under the mistaken impression that this is all there was to the Bushwarden Base property."

"Isn't this enough?"

"There's a ranch, two-hour drive from here, that belonged to the family."

"Your sheriff from Kirandra?"

"Yours too, if you believe your theory." John paused, "But I should take you there tomorrow. I think you've had a day."

"I'm to wound to sleep and if I go back to my hotel right now I'll just end up eating everything I can punch from the vending machine."

"Then let me take you somewhere." John pivoted to open the passenger door. "If you're up for a little adventure."

"A little adventure?" Anna narrowed her eyes, "Not sure I'm dressed for it."

"You're perfect." John waited next to the open door. "Unless you don't want to. In which case I close this door, you drive back to your hotel, I drive back to mine, and you blame me for eating the vending machine."

"Fine." Anna got into the car. "But I just want to be clear."

"About?" John leaned into the open space, the grin on his face irreplaceable.

"I said I'd eat the snacks _from_ the vending machine… There's a big difference between that and eating the actual machine."

"Yes Ms. Smith."

John shut the door and soon enough they were off. But instead of taking the road away from the house, he turned off before the gate and started down a gravel path. Anna pushed a bit at her seat, straining the belt to track the wall that encircled the property before John turned them down another path that rambled into a wooded grove.

"Where does this go?"

"Around." John snuck a peek at her. "Since you've been sequestered in the archives and house libraries for a week I've not got a chance to show you the full extent of the property."

"Is this the moment when you decide you're going to bury me in the backwoods?" Anna put her hand on the door. "Because while I admire you're patience, I won't die out here on holiday."

"You'd rather die out here under different circumstances?"

"Honestly I'd rather not die at all in this case but if we've being picky then this isn't the when or the where of how I'd like to go."

"Then don't worry." John shook his head, "Besides, it's the first rule of murder that you never use your car, abduct someone in broad daylight, be anywhere near cameras, or keep them on the grounds you manage."

"Thank goodness you don't run a seminar telling people that exact thing." Anna settled into her seat again. "Most of the time I catch people because they're dumb enough to break any of those four rules."

"People think they're smarter than they are."

"It's tragically true." Anna frowned, "So where are you taking me?"

"Where my grandfather first took me when I came out here."

"When was that, by the way?"

"When I inherited…" John winced, "That was bad timing."

"Sorry?"

John pulled the car to a stop but kept the engine idling. "Remember how I told you that the title went to someone in England?"

"It sounds vaguely familiar. Since the heir was implied to be a girl it wouldn't have mattered anyway." Anna pointed at John, "Are you telling me that you're the one who ended up with the title?"

"Ta-da." John opened his hands. "My father got it, married my mother, got kicked from the family a bit, and then passed, like I said. I got the title and came down here after I finished my physical therapy and decided that England had nothing left for me after the divorce."

"And you did what?"

"Met my Australian relatives. The last of their line on that side." John shrugged, "I called him my grandpa but I'm not really sure what kind of cousin he actually was."

"Not one of mine, was he?"

"Technically I think he belongs to both of us but…" John waved it off. "At the end of the day the title's just a thing. It means nothing and it is nothing. Didn't get me better postings or seats at restaurants. And since the one who got it at the death of Lord Grange refused to challenge the will, it doesn't mean anything to the house either… Other than us being the caretakers."

"And you're fine with that?"

"I get a stipend to make sure that monstrosity stays running." John nodded, "I'm more than fine with it. It's more money than I could hope to spend on my own, helps me manage the pub with Gwen and her husband, and keeps me settled here."

"You like being settled here?" Anna shook her head, "What about your mother, in Ireland?"

"She's got her sisters, my cousins, and relatives out her ears. I see her twice a year and… Ireland held bad memories for me. My wife was Irish too and… Some things just ruin it for you."

"So now you're an Aussie?"

"No. I'm a transplant and no one here ever lets me forget it." John tapped the steering wheel. "At the end of the day, this is the place where I've felt most at home. It is, for all intents and purposes, my home. I've not got anywhere else and it gives me purpose. It's a good place to set up shop."

"Not for me." Anna shivered, "It's… There are too many ghosts in that house. Too many… Too many frustrations and shattered hopes."

"It's not what you wanted it to be?"

"I didn't want there to be a house. I wanted there to be a family and all I got was the idea of the house." Anna closed her eyes, wiping at tears. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying."

"You're exhausted, emotionally and physically I'll bet, and you're facing a reality that no one wants to face."

"Which one?" Anna sniffed, facing John and accepting the handkerchief he handed her with a little laugh.

"The one that reminds us that, in the end, we're all alone in a way."

"Don't you feel alone?"

"Of course." John turned back to face the road, "I just hide it better."

"All the time?"

"For right now at least." He paused, "Do you want me to keep on our adventure or do you want me to take you back to yours?"

"I don't want to face the reality that if I go back to mine I'll curl up in the duvet and cry myself to sleep." Anna pointed. "Onward please."

They drove in silence, the crackle of the gravel under the tires the only sound other than the rumble of the engine and their breathing. But as John wove through the trees of the wooded grove and down between some rolling hills, Anna gasped. He only responded with a little chuckle before rounding the car to greet the lake that expanded behind the property so the house was no more than blip on the horizon.

Pulling the car to a stop, John swept his hand in front of the windscreen as if to show off the lake. "This is Grange Pond."

"It's a bit bigger than a pond."

"We got permission to expand it about ten years ago and now it's a tourist stop for the house. Swimming and picnicking and hiking all around the area." John turned off the car and pointed. "We're bordering a bit of the national park there and they've been begging us to try and parcel off back lots of the land. Partly for protection and partly because it'd give them better access to the backcountry of the park. Another way we're locked in details before we can answer."

"What would you do, if you had free range?"

"You mean if the will left it all to the title and not the direct blood heir?" John mused a second, his chin pressing out to bring his bottom lip up so he momentarily resembled a bulldog. "Probably make the hotel, sell the land for preservation, and then market the rest for tourism."

"Make money on it?"

"It's less to do with money and more to do with preservation." Joh crunched his fist. "If we keep it all to ourselves, it'll decay before our eyes. If we let others share it then we keep it."

"That's almost Biblical."

"Some of my best inspiration is Biblical." John opened the door, "Do you want to get a closet look?"

"At water?" John only rolled his eyes and got out of the car. Anna waited another minute before pushing herself from the car. "Is there something about this water that you think is especially interesting?"

"You can swim in it." John pulled his phone and keys from his pocket, leaving them on a plastic picnic table.

"Swim in it?"

"That's usually what one does with water." John toed off his shoes and removed his belt. "It's what I do in water."

"Go swimming?" Anna pointed at the water, "You intend to go swimming?"

"You make it sound like a bad idea." John pulled his shirt over his head and pointed toward the sky. "It's December and it's hot."

Anna shook her head, "No."

"No?"

"No. I'm not…" Anna pointed at his leg. "Can you even swim with that?"

"It's water resistant but, if needed, I can swim without it." John dropped his trousers and left them with the rest of his clothes on the table so he only wore his black boxers. "Can you swim?"

"Of course I can swim." Anna paused, "How can you swim with that?"

"It was a key part of my physical therapy." John walked closer to the water, "You'd be surprised how difficult weightlifting is when you've only got one leg."

"I can see that." Anna waited a minute and then sighed, pulling her shirt over her head and leaving her shoes and trousers on the table as well. "Which stroke did you like best?"

"What?" John almost tripped into the water as Anna joined him.

"For swimming. Which stroke do you prefer?"

"Oh." John coughed, walking further into the water. "Backstroke. Always my best. I've got stronger legs than arms."

"I could see that." Anna walked further into the water, her toes moving along the stony bottom. "I think I'm better with the sidestroke."

"It's not a bad one." John moved deeper, the water lapping at his chest. "I like to vary my strokes though. Gives you a better workout."

Anna snorted, one hand over her mouth as she almost tripped into the water. "Sorry. That shouldn't be so funny."

"It was meant to be." John paused, "You meant something else."

"I… I was about to ask about your strokes." Anna pushed off the bottom, moving herself deeper into the water. "Do you always vary your strokes?"

"Yes, I…" John scowled moving into the water to follow Anna as she swam further out. "I see where you're taking this."

"It's _different strokes for different folks_." Anna called back, kicking hard into the water to get to the deeper water.

"You won't be teasing me like this if I threaten not to show you those strokes." John joined her, both treading water. "I'm pretty sure you're still interested in finding that out for yourself."

"I am but," Anna got closer to him, "Apart from that rather lovely kiss outside my door, you've not showed much interest."

"You've been locked away in an archive." John shrugged a shoulder in the water. "You don't know what kind of interest I might show."

"And what kind of interest could you show?" Anna paused, her arms waving a little to keep herself afloat. "Since we're cousins, after all."

"Distant cousins, if cousins at all."

"You don't think we're cousins?"

"I don't think it matters because, even if we were cousins, we can't confirm it anyway." John paused, "Unless we exhumed the bodies."

"For a DNA comparison?"

John nodded, "It wouldn't take a will to prove you're the heir if we just use a DNA test."

"I'm sure your lawyer would disagree." Anna moved away, treading water for a second before speaking again. "And I don't want to dig them up."

"Even if it would prove they're your family?"

"I've had a few exhumations, to help with cases, and it breaks a family's peace with the death." Anna shook her head, "I'm not going to unbury the dead when there's a chance to find the answer somewhere else."

"You mean the will?"

Anna nodded, "If I even care about the will."

"Then what are you still looking for?"

"I'm looking for why my great-grandmother died." Anna chewed the inside of her cheek before swimming back toward John. "And I want to know if my great-grandfather really killed his wife when she killed him."

"Sounds like the DI is just solving a case."

"Why not?" Anna smiled at him, "What I came here for I already did. I've got enough holiday left to solve a few murders."

"I think you need a new hobby."

"Arguably, yes." Anna winked at him, "Want to audition?"

John swallowed, "I think, Ms. Smith, that I'd like to take you to dinner and then, maybe, to bed."

"Then why are we still here?" Anna swam away, "We've got places to be."


	12. A Night's Tale

The knock on her door had Anna hurrying to unplug the curler and make sure the numerous accouterments were also cooling before she checked over her room. Another knock had her struggling to shove her keys and phone and little bits into a purse so she had the door open before John could knock a third time. They both stared at one another a moment as Anna whistled.

"You clean up very nicely."

"You've said that before."

"I'll say it again." Anna eyed him up and down, "If I wasn't worried about spoiling the evening you planned I might be willing to just drag you into this room right now and make it a little less romantic."

"After all the effort I've gone to just to put you off for this long," John leaned on the door, "Do you really think that I'd just come in there for a quickie?"

"People have done it for less." Anna pinched the skirt of her dress and pulled it away from her body. "And I didn't dress up half so nicely for them as I am for you right now."

"I'll make this all worth your while then." John crooked his arm and extended it to her, "If you'd like to come with me."

"There's nothing I'd want to do more."

John leveled a finger at her, "None of that. This is a romantic evening and I won't have you taunting me throughout it."

"Isn't this all just your elaborate tease?"

"Yes, but it's on my terms since I'm the one who waved the white flag." John opened the car door for her, "Locked your door?"

"Don't worry," Anna jiggled her purse, "I remembered my ID as well Mom."

"Ha, ha." John helped her into the car before shutting the door. "Were you this sarcastic when you were a teenager?"

"Being a sarcastic teenager is like being a first-year wine. You're good but you've not aged it well." Anna leaned back in her seat. "I believe I'm better at it now than I was then."

"I'd hope we're all better at things now than we were when we were young." John shivered, "My first experience with anything as a teenager was the worst."

"Like the first time you had to give a presentation in class?"

"Or the first time I tried to kiss a girl." John shook his head, "It was embarrassing and I think I almost spit."

"Rest assured," Anna smiled, "You're a much better kisser now."

"Thank you." John put a hand to his chest, "I worked hard to improve."

"Did some upperclassman girl take pity on you?"

"I actually had a cousin in school, who was an upperclassman, who used me as the prop for her friends to practice their kissing on once the rumor of my disastrous first attempt made the rounds."

"That sounds both kind and creepy."

"It was both and terrifying." John gave a shudder. "Do you know how mortifying it is to have kissed a girl?"

"Having never kissed one, no I can't say I do."

John scowled, "I'm being serious."

"Yes, of course." Anna waved a hand, "No, I don't know how mortifying it must've been for you in that practice setting."

"For practice or in a practical setting it really doesn't matter, it's all horribly humiliating and blood-chilling."

"You make it sound like a horror movie."

"Close enough." John shrugged, "Anyway, it gets worse."

"I'm already wetting myself with fear."

"Because after they took their turns, one at a time, they then proceeded to comment about it. Like they were giving grades and taking notes. Each one, individually, while I was still in the room."

"Okay, that's bad." Anna shook her head, "You're supposed to do it behind close-doors. That's how we all did it."

"You did that?"

"Well we didn't blackmail a boy into the group circle and play an awkward version of spin the bottle." Anna shrugged, "But we'd all go to the chippy or for a sleep-over and comment on our individual experiences between giggles about the boys we liked when we were young."

"Do you still do that?"

"We have group chat for that now." Anna pointed at him, "Any text you receive from a woman was carefully cultivated and edited by no less than one friend and more often at least three. And any response you give will receive a thorough roasting if they think you're a laugh or an excruciating deep-dive analysis if she really likes you and wants to dissect every part of what you say to understand how you feel about her."

"Because I didn't already feel horribly outnumbered when it was just one-to-one. Now I have to feel outnumbered when I'll agonize over what to text."

"Better to know than to not."

"That was blissful ignorance before. You could be more honest when you didn't realize you were speaking in front of a crowd."

"Back to being nervous about presentations?"

"I never said I was nervous about those." John cracked a smile at her, "But now you're telling me all the feminine secrets. Where will the mystique be?"

"It'll still be there, don't you worry." Anna winked back, "And if you're feeling like you're getting some kind of special inside scoop or something, why not tell me a secret about how men share things."

"We don't, that's the secret."

Anna shook her head, "You can't tell me you've not got a good friend you tell things to." John only shook his head in response and Anna flustered, "No one you take out for a drink when you've got to pour out your soul?"

"Not here. I had one when I was Ireland but since I came to Snowy River…" John shrugged. "It's been a little dry in the friend department before you, being completely honest."

"Because of the name?"

"And because of the secrets I know."

"From your other job?"

"That's it. People don't want to think I'd share their secrets or spill those of others on accident because they never remember what they already told me." John's forehead furrowed a moment. "I guess you could consider Joseph a friend but he's got Phyllis and that usually rules out too much 'guy time' or any kind of spare moment for a pint."

"We always used to say that married people went to the graveyard."

"We?"

"My friend Mary and I." Anna leaned her elbow on the door to prop up her head. "She and I were inseparable but then she got married. Not that I think she made a mistake, because her husband is lovely, but-"

"But she's got a husband."

Anna nodded, "Before that she'd tell me all about her man troubles and now, when she has them, she tells me nothing."

"Isn't it good that she's telling her husband?"

"You'd think so but they've got an odd relationship with more issues than _National Geographic_. The drama they rustle up together can be infuriating."

"Then why get married?"

"Because they loved one another."

"That's not always the best excuse."

"Don't get me wrong, I think they belong together." Anna snorted, "She's a better person because of him and I think I like her better because of who she is with him. But… It's difficult when you think that the person you married might get better because you saw potential in them and then you realize that it won't be the quick trip to perfection you thought."

"Are they… okay?"

"We emailed last night, when FaceTime fell through, and they're working through whatever their latest issue was." Anna sighed, pulling at her fingers, "I think the real problem is that Mary's pregnant and she's not told him."

"She's not told her husband she's pregnant?"

"She didn't expect it. They've been trying for awhile and then she consulted a specialist without telling him and… It was a big to-do and they were trying but she had kind of given up hope."

"And now that she is pregnant?"

"It's difficult, given the work we do, because then he'll insist she goes to desk duty to keep the pregnancy safe."

"I'm sensing a 'but' in this."

"Mary'd rather take a cheese grater to her forehead than submit to rubber-stamping reports all day."

"And when she does finally tell him, if he's not already figured it out, she'll just get him flustered and frustrated that she didn't tell him before and now she's gone and possibly put herself in danger?"

"It's possible but you never know with people's responses." Anna gave a little snort of amusement, "Sometimes people surprise you."

"It's true but this isn't exactly the kind of surprise people want."

"Maybe not. But her new partner's the one putting himself in danger so there's no worries for her except scraping him from the pavement when he inevitably gets himself injured." Anna narrowed her eyes at a point only she could see. "It's the hardest part of her relationship, I think, that she's got this untamable spirit and yet believes she should tame it because that's what everyone else thinks she should do. She's never been one to go with the grain and she likes having her way. She's got the will to get it too."

"Sounds like she rather likes her way, your Mary." John's lips ticked toward a smirk. "And she might be a bit of a bully."

"She is and she does." Anna chewed the inside of her cheek. "Matthew knew that when he married her, because those aren't the sorts of characteristics you can hide, but I think he expected she'd settle when they married. That marriage would domesticate her and he's been a little disappointed that it hasn't."

"Especially with her derring-do partner." John mimicked a shudder. "If that's who they gave her in the interim, I can't imagine what kind of daredevil I invited out tonight. Maybe I should've worn a safety vest."

"When I was her partner there wasn't any of that." Anna managed a little smile. "Matthew likes the influence I had on Mary and I like him. I truly believe they love one another they just…"

"Need to communicate better?"

"Much."

"For as much as we all love talking, especially about ourselves, we've never really good at listening to one another. Or truly communicating."

"You and I communicate just fine." Anna paused, "Unless I greatly miscalculated our current relationship."

"You didn't and we do." John pulled them into the parking space. "I think the difference is that we're not afraid."

"How'd you mean?"

John turned off the car and sat in silence a moment before answering. "If you and I were married and you knew you were pregnant after we'd been trying for a long time and that your job was dangerous, that it was the topic of arguments and worries before, don't you think that you'd be afraid to tell me that you're pregnant because it could throw a spanner in the works in terms of your dreams and how they'd collide with mine?"

"I can see myself being bloody terrified."

"That's why they're not communicating. They're afraid. Afraid they won't change, that the person they love won't change, that the future they want they can't have, and it's tearing them apart inside."

Anna studied John a moment, "And why didn't you go into psychology?"

"Who said I didn't want to?" John opened his door, "It's where I was going until I decided on the Army. Then I lost my leg and, through a series of events with which you're already familiar, I came down here."

"It's never too late to go back and get your degree." Anna took his hand as he helped her out of the car. "You could get your degree here."

"And do what with it that I don't already do without taking the classes or spending the money?" John shook his head, "I'm a student of people and that's enough for me at the end of the day."

"I'm glad." Anna turned to the restaurant, "This is… Impressive."

"I thought you deserved to see what this could become if I get to make into the hotel I want to see here." John led her into the house, "We've made some overtures to Mrs. Patmore about moving her restaurant in here, if we had the chance, and she's not been averse to the idea."

"Given that she works magic in her kitchen, I could see you making a pretty penny through her work." Anna paused, "But what about _The Baxley_?"

"What about it?"

"If you make this the _Bates Motel_ then won't you be treading on the toes of those already settled into this town?" Anna gestured in the general direction of her hotel. "They're the only game in town and it'd be a shame to ruin your friendship over competing enterprises."

"I haven't told you?" John rubbed at his face, laughing at his misstep. "Joseph's the other partner in that. It was his idea. They'd take _The Baxley_ and remake it this place. Combine their passions into one."

Anna blinked, "They'd shut down their hotel?"

"They'd take over here, because they've got the experience and the prestige, and still run the other on. It wouldn't get as much business but you don't need two prestigious and potentially haunted hotels in town. Just the one for the tourists and the other for the locals passing through. Or… The less interested tourists."

"And that's what you've planned for this place?"

"Of course." John waved at the building. "I don't know anything about being a hotelier and they do. I'm the money man and the one with the stewardship over the building. That's my part in the venture."

"And you'd do that, just to see it succeed?"

John nodded, "I'm not a prideful man, in general. There are a few things I've got some pride about but in this… It's not my money, it's not my house, and all I've got is a title that barely gets me advanced reservations at fancy restaurants in London that I'd never eat at anyway." He put his hands in his pockets to accompany his shrug. "I want this place to support itself. I want people to enjoy the history they find here. And if making it a hotel is the best way for it to save itself so it doesn't crumble to dust then… That's what I'd do to save it."

Anna swallowed, "But you don't even want it."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't have value."

"Is that why you want to find the will so badly?"

John managed another nod. "It would help me find the heir. I feel like that's you, at this point, but I'd like to be sure just like you would. And once I found the heir I could sell them on the idea and they'd help me save a piece of history."

"It's not a nice history."

"Most of history isn't nice and it shouldn't be because our lives aren't nice and I don't believe in nostalgia." John sighed, his body losing a bit of the verve that kept him erect a moment ago. "I believe this place needs to exist. Needs to tell people a story they will understand and find is a little bit theirs too."

Anna reached out, weaving her fingers between his to hold his hand. It drew his gaze toward her and Anna tugged him back toward the car. He could only frown but Anna opened the back door and urged John to follow her into the back seat.

"Anna-"

She put a finger over his lips. "We'll still make it to dinner but there's no talking until I'm finished with you. Understand?" John's eyes darkened a moment and he nodded before Anna smiled. "Good."

Settling behind the passenger seat, Anna waited for John to close the door before inspecting the space. "Roomy." John almost opened his mouth to speak but Anna shook her head and John's teeth clacked when he clamped his jaw. "You're very good at following instructions… Which just gives me a host of ideas."

John moaned with his mouth closed and Anna almost giggled before tugging on John's hand to get him in the middle of the back seat. "Now I warn you, I haven't done this since… Probably Uni and it wasn't a magnificent experience."

"We'll do better." John whispered and when Anna tried to comment he kissed over her neck, dragging her onto his lap so the proof of his interest pressed between her legs. "You keep talking and it's not fair that this would be one-sided."

"It was my idea." Anna shifted closer, her dress easing the way as it slid over the material of his trousers.

"And I get no say in it?"

"You might've avoided it." Anna let her fingers slide into the edges of John's hair on his neck to hold him closer as he kissed over her neck and collarbone to the straps of her dress. "Might've insisted on dinner."

"I still will," John paused, his tongue darting out to trace her clavicle before trekking back to the dip between her collarbones. "I had plans for this evening."

"We'll just delay them by a touch." Anna rolled against him when John's hands simultaneously sculpted to fit over her ass and caress one of her breasts.

"Maybe longer than a touch." John paused, lifting his head to meet Anna's eyes. "But the idea of you getting me somewhere under your orders does seem like a wonderful thought to explore later."

"Will you be silent now?"

"Hell no." John's hand squeezed her ass as his hips bucked into her so Anna gasped. "I do have to ask, are you safe?"

"Clean too." Anna paused, "You?"

"As a whistle." John grinned, "And you're not worried about our DNA compatibility or anything are you?"

"Not in the slightest." Anna put her hands on either side of John's face. "I'd like to kiss you now. Please don't hold back."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Their lips met and Anna moaned into his mouth, the same sweep of sensation bringing the taste of him sliding between her teeth and tracking into the dips of her mouth as he suckled her lower lip. Her fingers scrabbled over his face before she shrugged a bit to bring her arms free of the straps one of his hands gently tugged to insist on their removal. It left her bra and the corset she wore exposed and if she though John's eyes could not get any darker she was wrong.

It took less than a second for John to abandon her mouth and immediately press what kisses he could on her bare flesh before ignoring the material of her bra entirely to suck and drag at her nipples through it. Anna bent her elbows backward to unsnap the bra and even debated the corset but John's hands stopped her, snatching the bra to toss it aside so it hit the window with a thwack before he set his attentions back on her breasts. Her fingers carded and raked into his hair at the action and her hips rolled almost on their own into him as she tightened her knees on his hips.

John's other hand, the one formerly occupied with intermittently squeezing her ass, moved to lift the skirt of her dress. It rolled and tucked into the confused mess of the bodice of her dress so Anna almost wore her whole outfit wrapped around her waist. But it did leave her ass free for John's further exploration. And he growled his appreciation at the rather weak impediment her thong provided. With a careful slip and a slide, Anna gasped as John's fingers proceeded to explore her folds.

Digging her nails into his scalp and then his shoulder, Anna forced herself to focus. Focus past the unrelenting adoration of his mouth on her breasts or his fingers delving inside her. Focus past the thrills of pleasure triggering the reaction in her hips to try and meet the rhythmic jerking of his own. Focus on freeing him of his trousers and underwear so her hand could finally wrap over him. So her fingers could start a version of play all their own.

The falter in John's motions only encouraged Anna and she rose up on her knees to shimmy his trousers and underwear out of the way. They caught on the lip of his prosthetic but Anna only grinned at the flash of fear washing over his features. "It's not stopping me."

"It won't stop me."

Anna leaned forward, noting the second of hesitation in his speech, and whispered in his ear. "Then prove it."

John's fingers moved so quickly Anna was sure he did not move at all. But the next thing she knew her thong was pulled aside and John was inside her. They both gasped out, her fingers digging into his shirt so it folded in her grip, and took a moment to breathe hard enough that their chests pressed together.

Their eyes met and Anna could not stop herself taking John's mouth with hers. One of her hands sacrificed her secure hold on his shirt to maneuver around the back of his neck but it helped her better control the kiss. A kiss that had John withdrawing to the edge before he thrust hard enough into her that he could get no further. It broke their kiss and left them shaking against one another for a moment.

But Anna recovered enough to set her hips rocking into him, an occasional rolling motion to encourage his continued thrusts. John responded, kissing over her breasts again so Anna's nails dug into the skin at the back of his neck, and held at her hips to better control his thrusts into her. Thrusts that had Anna tightening her knees against his hips as she forced the car to mimic the bounce of her motions as she met John's snapping hips with her own.

It was almost a frenzy. The cool December air outside the car did little to stop the windows hinting toward a fog. But Anna kept her hands on John and no streaks appeared as they continued to try and bring the other person closer to them. As if they wanted to share the same skin. Skin too hot for them as they gasped for breath and whined for release. Skin that prickled and pimpled in the aftermath of John and Anna's loose fingers colliding and touching over her nerves before pressing unintentionally on John as he finished.

They sagged together, Anna's forehead resting on John's before drifting to the seat behind his head as he rested on her shoulder. The sweat on their skin slid and settled until Anna reached over to open the door to the car. A rush of air had her shivering for a second but she put a hand to John's chest to stop his rush to her aid.

She kissed at his confusion before sliding off his lap onto the floor. "I just need a moment. And you've a very spacious backseat."

Anna extended herself, giggling when John brought his legs up to give her the expansive floor. "I wanted a comfortable car."

"And you've got one." Anna laid on her stomach, dragging her bra toward her so she could clasp it and then resettled with her chin on her hands so the cool air blew at her face and tickled her hair over her scalp. "It's a lovely choice."

"Not the place I would've picked for the first time."

"No?" Anna sat up, using her hands on John's knees to get on her own. "And what, Mr. Bates, did you envision for our first time?"

"Talking like that you make me sound like a naïve boy going for his first sexual encounter."

"Keep saying it like that and I might think you read all about your form in a book." Anna teased, dragging a finger over his chin before ticking down the buttons of his shirt. "What'd you have in mind?"

"A bed, for a start."

"Necessary."

"Soft lighting and even softer pillows."

"Lovely." Anna let her fingers find the tails of his shirt and almost used them to wipe at the evidence she left over him. They both paused, the hitch in their breathing as sonorous as a thunderclap, and their eyes met. It only took Anna a second to hold John's gaze and lower her mouth to him.

Cleaning him with his shirt almost felt foolish when she could use her tongue. When each taste of her on him only made it sweeter. Only made her want more. Only tempted guttural moans from John and had his fingers streaking over the leather. Only had her taking him deeper until he thickened and hardened in her mouth so she could swirl her tongue into each crevice with ease. Only just stopped her continuing to suck on him after a dive of her tongue into the slit of his tip.

But John's hands on her upper arms paused her. His lips on hers had her keening at the fierce assault of his tongue over his. When he maneuvered her back to the floor she almost yelped in surprise. When his tongue dived between her legs while his fingers almost ripped her thong off her Anna whimpered and cried out.

He did not stop. Not after the first orgasm he urged loose with tongue and fingers left her shaking in his grasp. Not even after the second that left her writhing and quivering on the floor of his car. But he paused when she tried to dig her toes into the skin of his hips. Paused long enough to stretch himself over her and kiss at her neck as he stroked the results of her earlier efforts over her ass before running along her weeping folds.

"I imagined so many ways, so many variations, and I'd like to try this one."

"Yes."

John adjusted, one of his hands lifting Anna's leg back over his hip, and drove forward. Anna buried her groan into the tough carpeting of the floor before sighing at the soft kisses John dotted over her shoulders. His lips continued running up her neck to her ear and he bit gently there. Anna whimpered and strained to hear John as he whispered. But it took him two recitations before she could focus on his words over the steady thrusts that left her ass cradled in the crux of his hips.

"I want to take you to dinner. I want to give you the nicest foods, the sweetest desserts, and then show you to the most beautiful room."

Anna reached back, lifting onto her knees enough to better thrust back into John's punishing drives as he increased his pace, and streaked her fingers in his hair. They found purchase and angled his lips to hers for a sloppy kiss. But they managed it until John's motions changed to better reach the ends of her. Each pounding drive forced them closer together and left his breath hot against her neck.

"Then I'll spread you over the bed, leave you naked and wanting, and take you until you beg me to stop. We'll rest long enough for you to find the strength to go again and then you'll take me however you want."

The bite of the coarse carpet burned Anna's knees but she met each of John's thrusts better with her hips lifted and her forearms holding her almost in a plank position. She noted, between trying to breathe or kiss John, the shake of the arm he had over her shoulder to support his weight. His other hand threatened to dig bruises into her hip but Anna only huffed and whimpered for John to finish. To bring them over again.

It took her hand reaching between her legs, his occupied as they were with the delicate balance of their precarious position, to change their pace. For as swift and determined as John seemed before, when Anna's fingers rubbed over herself and accidently brushed him it set him off. The frenzy of his motions almost had Anna on her stomach but she maintained her balance and continued with her fingers… Brushing him with more focus now that she knew the result. And he came quickly as her vaginal walls clutched and clung to him. Clung tight enough to leave him gasping and biting into her shoulder so Anna joined him.

They almost collapsed together on the floor of the car but John turned them sideways enough to avoid crushing her. The position did them no favors and they tried, as subtly as possible, to edge away from one another until they were forced to completely separate. John got out of the car to try and sort himself as Anna rearranged what she could of her rumpled dress. But the fabric was more forgiving than the mangling of her hair and drifted over her without a trace of evidence as their actions in the car.

It took a moment of their rather sheepish shuffle before they laughed at one another. Anan reached forward to straighten his tie and tuck an errant corner of his shirt into his trousers before tucking the handkerchief he lent her into his pocket. His eyes widened and Anna winked.

"I wouldn't want you to think I'd keep it."

"But you…" He pointed and Anna nodded.

"You put yours in your pocket and don't think I didn't notice how you used it to clean yourself." Anna shrugged, "We might need them later and this dress has no pockets for me to keep mine."

John forced himself to swallow. "You'll kill me before I even have a chance to choke on my dinner."

"It'd be a shame, since you've given me so many promises about it." Anna slid her arm through his. "Lead on."


	13. Caretaker's Salvation

Pushing back from the table, Anna shook her head. "Whatever dessert you're ordering, I demand we take it to go. If I eat anything else this dress will be utterly useless and I'll have to remove it."

John grinned, "Why not?"

"Because I didn't bring a spare dress."

"It looks roomy enough."

"It won't be if I eat anything more." Anna let out a sigh, stretching against the chair. "You are determined to see me fat, aren't you?"

"Makes it harder for you to run away."

"Also makes it harder for you to kidnap me."

John shook his head, smiling at her. "I still think I could lift you."

"You have evening plans that involve that kind of activity?" Anna ran her tongue over the bottom of her teeth and watched John jump a little in his seat. "I did hope so and I desperately wanted to hope so."

"Only on the condition that you forgive me if it's not one of the marathons."

"I like sprinters."

"Then I'll get dessert to go." John stood up and dramatically draped a towel over his arm. "And what would the lady like to sample for her desserts this evening? We've a lovely crème brûlée, a seven-layer chocolate cake, and ice cream."

"Oh goodness." Anna clapped her hands together, mimicking his drama. "I don't know. How will I ever decide?"

"You could have them all."

"Seeing as you already bought them, it would be a shame to leave them all to waste." Anna pointed at the ice cream, "That one, for this evening. The rest to wait."

"As the lady wishes." John took the bowl of ice cream and passed it over the counter and closed the refrigerator door. "In other circumstances I would offer toppings but it seems our service is… Lax, in that area."

"Ohh," Anna made a face, sucking ice cream off the edge of her spoon. "Lax service, four stars."

"Hey." John removed the towel, taking the dishes from dinner and putting them in the sink to soak. "One misstep and you ding me a whole star?"

"Do they let you do half-stars?" Anna took another bite. "Because I'd give ten out of ten, would recommend, on this evening's earlier activities."

"Swimming did it for you?" John grinned and ducked the napkin she tried to throw at him. "Unless you meant something else."

"Do you think I did?"

"I hoped you might but I'd hate to assume."

"Spoilsport." Anna ran her spoon around the inside of her bowl. "I am curious about the surprise you've got planned for tomorrow."

"I'm taking you somewhere." John busied himself with cleaning up but Anna waited until he finally turned back to look at her. "What?"

"I was asking after the location, not the general activity." She carefully put the spoon to her tongue and sucked the contents slowly before handing over the empty bowl. "Where are we going?"

"It's a bit of a drive."

"Are you going to continue to dodge the question or will I get anything out of you at all?" Anna waited but John made a show of sucking his lips back before miming zipping his mouth closed. "I repeat, spoilsport."

"I've other plans for this evening to take your mind off it all…" John shrugged, "If you want. If not then… Well I guess you'll be the spoilsport."

"I'm sure you're aware that I never back down from a challenge." Anna pushed herself off the stool and waited for John to join her. "Is there another car ride involved? Because I rather enjoyed the last one."

"And there you go again, trying to rile me up." John took her hand in his arm and led them up the stairs from the kitchen to the main floor of the house. "If I didn't know better I'd think you had intentions toward me physically."

"Someone as buttoned-up as yourself needs someone to make them come off a little insensible." Anna patted his arm, "And it's how I cope with my feelings."

John stopped them just short of the door leading from the old servants' stairs to the main floor. "Are you having trouble coping with them?"

"For my… condition, it's sometimes hard for me to express myself." Anna shrugged, "It's… It's hard to explain. Because it's not an aversion to contact-"

"As demonstrated earlier in the car."

"Yes, wonderfully demonstrated." Anna allowed herself to smile. "But I've always felt a little out of place because of my conditions. I learned to overcompensate to try and balance my natural inclination to do nothing and say nothing by sometimes doing more and saying more than I should."

"Society being more forgiving of one than the other?"

"They tend to forgive the outburst sooner than the silent treatment, yes." Anna sighed, "I don't know why I try so hard with you."

"How'd you mean?"

"There's just…" Anna studied his face, "Something about you, about how you make me feel, makes me think that if I never spoke another word you'd still try to understand me. You'd never write off my silence as anything more than what I told you it was. And that… That's a tremendously comforting thought."

"I would like to think of myself as someone who brings people ease since I absolutely detest the idea I'd make you feel awkward."

"it's refreshing how unawkward you are."

John led them through the corridor toward the large stairs. "I've made sure to arrange tomorrow so you'll be pleasantly surprised and pleased… I hope."

"I could guarantee both right now if you'd just tell me where you were planning to take me."

"Nope," John shook his head, "You'll not get it out of me."

"I could certainly give all of my effort to try." Anna paused as John stopped at the turn of the corridor. "Where are we going now?"

"Now, we're going to a rather lovely room where I'd like to show you what I could do if this place was a hotel."

"Do to me or to the hotel?"

John's persistent smile only widened. "Both, if you're willing."

"I think you're already aware of how willing I am."

"Good." John guided her past the room that used to belong to her great-grandmother and skirted the balcony-ed walk of the second floor toward one of the larger rooms. "This one used to be the main bedroom of Lord and Lady Grange."

Anna paused outside the door, "It's almost like playing out history."

"How'd you mean?"

She pointed down the corridor, "My great-grandmother walked this distance at one point, probably more, to come here."

"What makes you assume it was his room?"

"Because I very much doubt they were in her tiny room surrounded by the children of the house." Anna almost put her fingers on the knob of the door but stopped. "It's almost karmically bad if I touch this myself."

"Do you want me to open the door for you?" John put his fingers on the knob. "Because what I can do is just show you the room and then take you somewhere else… For the next part of the night."

"So there is a 'next part' of the night?" Anna's eyebrows rose and John nodded. It gave her a moment to study the door. "And it's on the other side of there? The rest of your plan for the night?"

"That was part of the plan." John's jaw shifted, "Unless you feel it's a little too… macabre or creepy or Oedipal."

"There's nothing Oedipal about this." Anna shrugged, "I'll admit it's a little odd and probably something fit for bad soap opera television in the cyclical nature of my family's history of dramatic decisions that could turn out horribly wrong."

"Do you think I'm a horrible decision?"

"Absolutely not." Anna pointed to the door. "But going in there… I don't know what I think about disturbing the ghosts that are guaranteed to be in there."

"You'd feel bad about rubbing their noses in it, as it were?"

"It's not like that." Anna turned over her shoulder, giving a little shiver. "I almost feel like they would be happy for me."

"But…"

"But there's just something about tempting fate with something like this." Anna pointed at the door again. "If I go through that door, there's no going back for me. I'd be all in… and they'd know it."

"Do you not want to be?"

Anna chewed the insides of her cheeks, "I've never had the option before so I don't know if I can honestly say."

"Then," John put his fingers over the knobs, "Why not take a look at what this place can be and then we'll decide if you want to tempt fate with the 'point of no return' vibe you're getting?"

"There's no reason not to." Anna put her hand over his on the knob closest to hers and John slipped his out from under hers. "I've never been good with just letting things lie in general."

"As evidenced by our exploits earlier in the car."

Anna pursed her lips at him and, in unison, they opened the doors.

A large, four-poster bed dominated the room with its hanging drapes tied to the posts. Bay windows with a matching comfortable seat looked out toward the front of the property with an expansive view of the drive and the lawns. The bracketed lights on the wall gave the room a soft, warm glow despite the darkness making the windowpanes black. But the light caught on the deep red of the walls and echoed into the en suite bathroom.

The cavernous tub sat with rounded edges on clawed feet while a walk-in shower with expansive jets and a rippled stone floor. A countertop with two sinks under a flood of lights lit up the mirror that took in the whole of the space. Only the door to the toilet gave Anna a second of pause but she exited the similarly dark red room to greet John in the center of the carpeted space next to the bed.

"So?"

"You plan to do all the rooms like this?"

"Most of them." John swirled his finger in the air around the room. "This one already had its own bathroom, so that was easier. A few of the others have spaces that were used for water closets a hundred years ago so they'll need a bit more retrofitting. But, otherwise, they should all meet the standards for hotels and satisfy fire code. That'll be something."

"Been planning this between the two of you, Ms. Baxter and yourself, have you?" Anna gave him a smile as she continued to walk the room.

"She's the one with the experience." John shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. "The hardest part, honestly, is that some of the rooms need to be torn out. They've got problems in the walls or they're suffering from electrical difficulties. The attics and upper rooms'll have to be checked and perhaps closed up for maintenance needs instead of being used."

"Sounds like you'd need more than just approval to get all this done." Anna sat on the end of the bed as John joined her. "You need the money that's all tied up in the will, don't you?"

"To make the changes, yes." John nodded. "I won't say this place is limping along but it's never going to support itself on the budget it has now. Maybe a hundred years ago when labor was cheaper and you didn't have to worry about fire codes and the like. But with all the feet that tramp through here and the risks that come with having a house as old as this, the current expenses only cover operating costs and then it's only as the bare minimum."

"And if you could prove I was the heir and I could inherit this place and all the money associated to it, you could have me sign off on all this directly?"

John nodded again, "I want this house to stand. It deserves to stand. Without the will I worry it'll just crumble apart piece by piece."

"Then I'm sure you've searched high and low for that thing."

"I've looked in every place I could think of and I'm not entirely embarrassed to admit more than a few of those locations were inspired by movies and books so the actual chance of it being there was…"

"Predictably fictional?"

"It was a little ridiculous." John shuddered, "I was rooting around under the floorboards of this room when I did it up."

"Find anything?"

"Traces of old mouse droppings and some termite damage but we fumigated the whole place and the exterminator's found no trace they returned."

Anna smiled and sighed, her palms pressing into the bed. "Good."

"I take care of this house." She blinked at him but John was staring at a point significant to only him. "It's part of my family's heritage. Perhaps not the heritage they intended but I owe it to them. They got me this far and if I don't care for what mattered to them then…"

"Then how do you thank them?" Anna slid a hand forward to cover his. "Why'd you start with this room?"

"Honestly?" John met her eyes, "It's my room. I wanted to do it up nicely since my granddad had sequestered himself to a tiny part of the house. I didn't want that for myself because then how would I feel responsibility for it?"

"I don't quite understand."

"My granddad only felt like the caretaker of this place. Like a gardener or a groundskeeper. He didn't have any attachment to it, not really, because he always felt it wasn't his. And…" John bit at his lip, "It was as if he resented it. Resented that he couldn't have it."

"And you don't want to feel that way?"

"Absolutely not. This is my responsibility, not a burden." John waved a hand toward the room. "If I live in this room, with the title I have, then caring for this place is a matter of noblesse oblige. I do what I do because I owe it to the land, the people, and this house. It's not a job, it's a calling and there's a lot of difference in the attitude with which you approach both of those ideas."

"Don't I know it." Anna shifted on the end of the bed. "It's probably what makes you so attractive."

"Not my good looks and boyish smile?" John feigned a pout and laughed a little when Anna pushed at him.

"You want to do the right thing and you strive to do the right thing, no matter what it could cost you personally." Anna leaned back onto the mattress, holding herself on her forearms. "That's a rare thing."

"I strive to be a rare man."

"You're certainly that." Anna finally laid back on the bed. "It's like a cloud."

"One piece of advice I got as an adult." John leaned back, joining her on the bed and shuffling into a comfortable position. "Was to always spend the money on a good mattress. Never buy one used, never skimp, and always replace when you need to because you'll never regret it."

"I just learned how to better store plastic bags and all the ins and outs of driving through London." Anna smiled, leaning her head up to look at the underside of the fabric covering the four-poster. "This bed is Harry Potter level extreme, you realize that right?"

"It cuts down on the heating bill."

"What?" Anna frowned, lifting herself on one forearm as John pushed himself off the bed. "How'd you mean."

"Just wait." John waved his hand at her. "Get on the bed."

Kicking off her shoes, Anna scooted back and watched as John undid each of the hanging drapes. They pulled straight along their runners until Anna was left in the darkness of the bed. Light attempted a weak invasion but the dark red of the hanging fabric masked all but the sensation of deep dusk. A dusk temporarily disturbed when John joined her.

"Even with a single person, the place heats up in less than ten minutes. So, when it gets cold, I just crawl in here and voilà, I'm warm and snug."

"Is that your answer to the electric problem?"

"That and fireplaces that run a hell of a lot cleaner than they did a hundred years ago." John laid back again, his hands on his abdomen. "You'd be surprised how nice it is to look at a heating bill and think, 'this could've been higher' and realize those cost-saving measures really helped."

"What other measures would you invest in?"

"Solar panels on the roof, rain catching for irrigation, and probably some kind of wind farm or something if it didn't get in trouble with the historical restrictions we've got on this place." He sighed, "Preserving history is harder than I anticipated when I decided it'd be worth doing."

"But you make it worth it." Anna leaned over toward him, her fingers tripping down the buttons she opened in a rush earlier in the car. "It's another thing I like about you. You're very dedicated."

"I am." John tipped his head in her direction, one of his hands catching hers to hold it. "This is where I'd hoped to bring you tonight, if that's alright to say."

"I took you in the car." Anna laughed as her free hand started unbuttoning his shirt. "I can't say I was opposed to any of your suggestions about any number of salacious suggestions."

"Good." John's hand finally released hers and he sat up to help her remove his shirt. "Because they won't be opening for tours until tomorrow afternoon so we don't have to worry about being disturbed."

"So I can be as loud as I like?" Anna grinned at him, running her hands over his chest as she pressed him back onto the bed and straddled his waist. "I like the sound of that."

"I do too." John grinned, his fingers tugging at the left sleeve of her dress. "Is this coming off any time soon?"

"impatient are we?" Anna reached shimmied to bring the dress over her head and tossed it through the drapes to thump on the floor. She spread her arms, her bra and knickers the only pieces of clothing left. "Looks like I'm ahead now."

"For the moment." John caught her hands and maneuvered Anna back onto the bed, extending her left arm out. "But I'll catch up in a minute."

"John-" Anna tried to speak but John pressed a kiss to the first of the scars on her left arm. "You don't-"

"Have to do this?" He paused, a kiss almost pressed to the next wrapping scar that left its indentation on her skin. "I know. But I couldn't really focus on your arm in the car, the way you were driving me to insanity, and since I'm not distracted now I was hoping to adore you a bit."

"Why would you want to?"

"Because," John continued to track his kisses higher, each one punctuated with another phrase. "As someone on the internet wrote once, we're all a train wreck so you've just got to pick your favorite and roll with it."

"Sounds complicated." Anna shivered as John moved closer to her shoulder.

"We're all complicated." John almost draped himself over her, her arms stretched over her head. "All a process to spend the rest of our lives unraveling."

"Do you want to unravel me?"

"I'd like to finish unwrapping you first." John's teeth flashed as he urged Anna up just enough to sneak his fingers behind her back to unlatch her bra so he could fling it to join her dress. "And then I'd like to leave you clawing at the sheets."

"Promises, promises." Anna warned before moaning as John lowered his lips to her breasts. The adoration he showered on them in the car only magnified as he took his sweet time pressing kisses and licks to her skin between sucking red marks over her or nipping lightly with his teeth so she writhed under him.

"I keep my promises." John smiled against her skin before tonguing over one of her nipples.

Anna's hands moved to his hair, guiding John as much as he could let her, and raked her nails over his skin when he continued trading kisses to her breasts between the kneading his hands did at her hips. Hips that soon detected the slight change in material as John urged her knickers lower. Between their odd shuffle, John freed her from the confines of her clothes and let the last evidence of them drop through the drapes.

He pulled back, pressing a final kiss between her breasts, and sat on his legs to look over her. Anna watched his expression as it roved over her. Rational urgings to cover herself or somehow fold into a PG-13 fetal position fell on deaf ears as her skin warmed under his dedicated study. Even the self-conscious desire to cover the other scars that dotted her skin faded under his gaze.

They did not speak as John's hands ran over one leg. A gentle press and Anna bent it so John could start a circle of kisses around her ankle. They traced minute discolorations in her skin, the tiny nicks of scars from shaving, the slightly larger scars from childhood, and even the grazes from the scars of her job. Each kiss acting as a recognition for a moment of pain until John stopped at her hip. Then he only repeated with the action with her other leg.

It left Anna gloriously recumbent under his affection and she only breathed more shallowly as John's palms settled on her knees to separate her legs. The rasp of her skin over the red duvet left Anna shivering slightly but she obeyed the unspoken direction. John's hips, still covered by his trousers, left her skin pimpling under the slight abrasion but the kisses he proceeded to press to the rest of her body had her relaxed in his hands again. So relaxed she almost did not detect his fingers until they lightly stroked at her clit.

Anna tensed then, the temptation of pleasure urging her to arch into him. It proved just the reaction John desired as his fingers slipped between her damp folds and crooked inside her in time with the kisses he retraced over her breasts. Anna's fingers lost themselves in his hair and gripping his shoulders as John continued to move his fingers inside her in time with his relentless affection at her breasts. Between the two locations, Anna's body continued to tighten and finally released in a rush to leave her crying out a finish that John swallowed in a kiss.

But when she attempted to move, John's hand at her hip pressed her back into the bed and the hair of his chest skated over her skin. It left her shivering again and whimpering as his kisses followed the line of sensitive skin to her clit. With his fingers still teasing and twitching between her clenching vaginal walls, John set his mouth to work on her clit and folds.

Sucking her clit between his teeth before nipping a circular pattern around the nerves and then moving lower to tongue her weeping folds to drink there. He traded between the two places until all Anna could hear was the shallow suction of his fingers moving in and out of her between the sipping slips of his tongue over her clit. Her left arm left her grip on his head, his hair sliding through her grip as it glistened with sweat from their cocoon in the draped bed, and clutched madly at the sheets. A move that stretched John's lips into a smile at her core. A smile that finished with him wrapping his tongue around her clit to suck hard.

She came again, crying out all the louder as her fingers released their secure hold on John's shoulder. As she blinked past the haze of her second orgasm, Anna noted the redness of his shoulder and the four pricks from her nails as they dug divots into his skin. But the rustle of John's trousers distracted her and all Anna could do was whimper as John shrugged his clothes far enough away to give her another look at his arousal.

John leaned over her, kissing up her neck and trading pecks over her lips and cheeks while Anna caught her breath, and ran himself along the sticky length of her until Anna groaned into his skin. His lips moved to her ear and whispered there as he urged her legs around his hips. "Are you ready Anna?"

"Yes." Anna tried to take his lips but the kiss turned sloppy. It did not matter as John delved into it with all the energy he could muster and Anna sucked for her taste from his mouth. "Please move."

A slight adjustment, a roll of John's hips, and he was inside her. The folds of his trousers and hastily shoved aside pants caught in her skin and Anna tried to shove them lower with her heels. They caught and mussed, throwing their rhythm for a moment, but John managed to shove them farther out of the way as Anna curled around him to try and help. All it accomplished was bringing their hips together at a new angle and Anna responded to the sensations by digging her nails into the skin of John's ass.

It kept him close and his thrusts short but the angle hit everywhere John already left fritzing and fizzing. His hand settled on her thigh and pulled it up, bringing her closer to him, and he pulled back just enough to lengthen his strokes so he could increase his speed. They rocked together until Anna's arms lost their strength and all she could do was stretch back on the bed and keep her hand guiding him with her nails in his skin.

John quickened his pace again, thrusting madly into her until the sweaty slap of their skins turned into a tangle of messy holds as they tried to get closer with their flagging energies. Energies that left Anna at the mercy of John's pounding motions until her spread her legs wider and locked her ankles just under his ass. John lengthened over her, holding so tightly to the bedclothes that Anna noted the whiteness of his knuckles, and gripped harder on her opposite thigh. Hard enough to bruise as he finally released inside her.

The aftermath of his finish brought on a third for Anna as her fingers dared dart between them to take advantage of their position. It left her rippling and quivering around John so he groaned at the last of his aimless thrusts before catching himself just short of falling on her. A tug and a shift left them on their sides and stuck together as they refused to separate.

Anna's fingers trailed over John's back, leaving tracks in the sweat there as her arm finally dropped to her side and she managed to extricate herself from their locked embrace. She waved an arm to try and catch the edge of one of the drapes. It caught and flung open just enough to allow air into the stuffy confines of the covered bed so they both breathed a little easier.

"I don't think I'm cold now." Anna finally managed and wormed her way sideways to open the drapes on that side and fully expose them both to the darkness of the window facing outside. "In fact, I think your drapes work a little too well."

"It's true." John opened the drapes on his side and laid back on the bed. "I hope I left you satisfied Ms. Smith."

"In case you didn't hear the three times you left me satisfied," Anna shoved lightly at his side before struggling to lift herself onto her forearm. "It was perfectly wonderful and I feel a little bad I jumped the gun in the car."

"We got here eventually." John sat up and leaned over to try and push his trousers and pant out of the way but Anna stopped him. "Are you uncomfortable if I'm naked because you are and-"

Anna put a hand over his mouth and used her other hand to remove his. "No, but fair is fair. You took off my clothes and now I'd like a turn to do the same to yours, if you're willing."

"To have a gorgeous woman undress me," John laid back, putting his arms behind his head. "Be my guest."

"You're so dramatic." Anna crawled to the end of the bed, pulling the curtains aside there to allow her to remove John's sock and then pause on his other foot. "Does this sock come off?"

"Doesn't have to."

"Then I won't bother." Anna tugged on the cuffs of his trousers and John lifted his hips to get them down his body so Anna could toss them onto the pile of clothes already formed by her unmasking.

She tugged on his pants to leave them on the floor before confronting his prosthetic. It took her a moment, admiring the miracle of science strapped to his leg, and she finally found the straps. Just as her fingers settled over one, John's hand landed on hers and Anna looked up at him. "What?"

"I don't…" He swallowed, "If you're not comfortable."

"After you've seen this?" Anna held up her left arm before gesturing to the rest of her scars. "I'm not going to get weird about it."

"It's just…" He coughed and swallowed again. "No one's seen it but me and I… I don't know if…"

Anna put her finger over his lips before kissing him. John responded to the kiss and teased with his tongue so Anna sucked hard on it. It broke their kiss with the surprise but Anna did not look long into his eyes as she covered them with her hand. A slight push put his back to the mattress and she eased her fingers off his eyes to leave them closed.

"If you're nervous about my reaction, don't peek." She waited until she was sure he would not crack his eyes open and loosened all the straps on his leg. The piece came away easily, sliding over a modified sock, and Anna carefully placed it at the bottom of the bed. The sock slipped off next and Anna finally saw John's leg.

Or what was left of it.

Given her years in the police, Anna witnessed a number of victims of various injuries. Former co-workers shot or injured in the line of duty. Those who worked the police after their military service with missing limbs and the occasional glass eye. But as her fingers traced the scars that sealed John's leg closed after he lost the rest of it, Anna decided none of them were as beautiful as he was.

"You're beautiful John." She whispered and bent over the bed to kiss at his scars the way he had hers.

There were others, the remnants of his military service, that were smaller or whiter or a little harder to see but Anna found them all before returning back to his leg. When she did she caught John looking at her with shining eyes. Her fingers delicately wiped away his tears before kissing his eyelids. Her fingers stroked through his hair, moving it away from his forehead, and took his lips in another long kiss before pulling back to look at him.

"It's a miracle."

John's lips met hers in a bit of a fury but Anna put her hands to his shoulders and then his cheeks to calm the frenzy. Instead she teased their kiss with a run of her tongue over his and under his lips. He matched her motion for motion and urged her to straddle him as he sat up to better run his hands over her back.

But Anna pushed him back to the bed again and scooted back to better run her hands over him. Hands that tugged and squeezed and caressed until John's body tensed and coiled like a spring. It almost released when Anna wrapped her lips around him and played with her tongue over the folds and ripples of him still bearing a hint of her taste. He held back, the strain almost popping the tendons of his neck, and Anna left a final lick over the length of him before scooting forward.

Another bit of teasing had John's fingers biting bruises into her hips as Anna rocked her folds against his erection but held off sheathing him. The scorching sensation of his hot, delicate skin against her clit and folds had Anna resting her palms on John's chest to dig her nails in for a better hold. And the desperation in John's voice when he practically pleaded for her to stop torturing him was all she needed to stop rocking against him and take him in with a single thrust.

The angle, especially when John arched his back to tease just that tiny bit further inside her, left Anna whimpering and sighing with him. They moved almost frantically, despite attempts from either side to slow their pace, but the sweetly slow seduction of earlier was lost in the tempestuous determination of need. A need that drove Anna to change her motions from bobbing to bouncing to gyrating to rocking to weaving and finally to rhythmless riding to meet the thrusting of John's hips into hers. It took no time at all when his fingers pressed to her and she clenched around him to bring them both over in a torrent of senseless sounds and screeches.

Anna sagged onto John's chest, her cheek pressed to his sweaty skin as his fingers traced lines over her back and hips. They slid apart as their breathing slowed and eventually maneuvered to face one another. Anna could only offer a lazy smile and sigh, "Worth the wait I think."

"And just think," John tried to manage, the exhaustion in his voice something Anna felt in her very bones. "There's more where that came from."


	14. The Four Fears

A hand shook her and Anna pulled her earbuds from her ears, still blinking against the blindfold. "What? Are we here?"

"Yes." Fingers settled on the knot at the back of her head. "I'm going to take this off now."

"And there I was, a few hours ago, thinking you were planning something kinky with it." Anna sighed and blinked against the light when the blindfold finally slipped from her eyes. When she could see, her jaw dropped. "Are you kidding?"

"Nope." John smiled and opened his hand toward the ranch house sitting on what could only be considered a plateau, surrounded on all sides by views of the towering mountains. "Welcome to Snowdrop."

"Snowdrop?"

"They used to just call it Snowy River but we couldn't confuse it with the town on the papers so it changed when what everyone's calling 'Bates Manor' because Bushwarden Base." John opened the door and climbed out to round the bonnet of the car and help Anna from her side. "It's a little dew of heaven, as my mother would say, and so I've always liked the name."

"It's gorgeous." Anna put a hand to her forehead, turning a slow circle to try and take in the view. "It's… This is the most beautiful piece of land I've ever set foot on and I feel like I just left the real world for this place."

"Then I've done my job." John opened the boot and pulled out their bags. "And here I thought you'd try to head back out of the hills."

"No." Anna took her bag from him. "I grew up on a farm, remember?"

"I also remember you lived close enough to London to still be a city-girl." John teased, grinning at her as they walked the short distance toward the wrap-around porch. "But I guess I forgot that you came all the way Down Under so you've got to have some taste for adventure."

"Not adventure, per se." Anna shrugged, walking past a set of dual rocking chairs. "More that I've got a nose for unfinished business and I'm always interested in solving a mystery."

"And out comes the London DI." John juggled his bag to retrieve a set of keys and unlocked the door. "I don't think there'll be too many mysteries to find here."

"Is that the reason you dragged me here?" Anna pulled her face before smiling and following John inside the building.

"You make it sound like I stuffed you in the boot and ignored you kicking and screaming about being back there." John shut the door as Anna dropped her bag on the sofa. "It's supposed to be romantic."

"I believe you've achieved your goal." Anna walked around the sitting room, her fingers tracing the material fitted perfectly into the carved wooden furniture, and into the open kitchen that looked out onto the back of the property. "This place is where they always end trapped in romance novels."

"Are you hoping this is about to become a romance novel?"

Anna snorted her laugh as she pushed toward the back door, "I think, Mr. Bates, we're already in a romance novel."

"Are we?"

"Well," Anna stepped onto the back porch. "We definitely had sex in your family's old home, we've gone on a couple of cute dates, and you've driven me out to your family's secret hideaway to romance me in front of a fireplace."

"There is a fireplace." John followed her out onto the porch, his hands going into his pockets. "But there was one in my bedroom too."

"We'll put a pin in that thought." Anna pointed at him before frowning. "And this is the point where I genuine worry that you've brought me to the start of a very rural horror movie."

"What?" John followed her eyeline and nodded. "Come on, I'll show you."

Anna trailed him over the grass, a simple gravel path leading to a cemetery lined with a simple wooden fence. John guided her around the edge of it to enter through the archway and pointed at the gravestones. "These are the graves of the Bates family who lived here."

"The Sheriff in that photograph?" John nodded and Anna examined the stones. "What about this one?"

"Which one?" John joined her and took a breath. "Jane."

"I only remember boys in that photograph." Anna pointed to the stone, "Who… I don't remember there being a girl."

"Jane was their daughter. She died when her mother was shot." John sighed, "It's a tragic story. They lost her in a miscarriage and only managed to have a child later through the grace of God."

"They had another child?"

John nodded, "It took them a long time to have their second blood child but, in the interim, they adopted their other children."

"Noble people." Anna zigzagged through the rest of the stones. "It's a lovely plot, looking over the grand vistas of this area."

"So not a horror movie?"

"Not anymore." Anna crossed her arms over her chest, breathing deeply to take in the air. "Now it's just a lovely place to hide away from the world."

"I've thought about hiding here before but I always find my way back to the life I've got in Snowy River." John waited for her at the archway to the cemetery and they walked back to the house in step. "I usually just rent this place out as an AirBnB kind of thing. Let it make some money so it doesn't fester out here."

"It's a good investment." Anna reentered the house, exploring the smaller bedrooms and the shared bathroom before exploring the master bedroom and en suite. "It's definitely more rustic than your bedroom at Bates Manor."

"We've all got out fetishes." John took their bags, holding them up. "Do you want your own room or do you want to share?"

"Why would I come all the way up here just to sleep away from you?" Anna took her bag, leading John to the master bedroom. "This is our romantic getaway, for no reason, in our romance."

"You've read too many romance books."

"There was a period in my life when I wanted something to read that would take zero brain power to manage." Anna shrugged, digging through her bag to settled her clothes in the drawers. "I just wanted somewhere to dump thoughts so I could decompress."

"From work?"

Anna nodded, "When I first started, I couldn't really handle it as well as I do now. My skin was still thin and… I had a bigger heart than I think I should've for the job I was doing."

"Don't let anyone tell you that your heart is too big." John went to lift her bag and grunted. "What else did you put in here."

"Oh," Anna reached in and dug out the book of fairy tales. "I thought I could use some light reading."

"In the words of Ron Weasley," John pointed at the book. "This is light?"

"They're fairy tales."

"Grimm's fairy tales which, as the title indicates, are grim."

"As much as I appreciate the play on words there," Anna flashed him a scowl before carrying the book into the sitting room. "I've not read them in awhile and… I wanted to reconnect with them."

"Well," John joined her in the sitting room, taking over the armchair to prop his feet on the ottoman as Anna stretched over the sofa. "Why don't you read aloud if you're going to spend my attempt at a romantic getaway reading."

"You make it sound like we'll never be going to bed."

"There was a dinner planned."

"Stop complaining." Anna waved down his words. "If you're good, I'll read aloud until you fall asleep."

"Like you slept in the car?"

"I deny that accusation."

"Just because you had a blindfold on doesn't mean I didn't notice your heavier breathing." John closed his eyes, laughing to himself. "Go on then."

"Once upon a time," Anna took a deep breath, ignoring John's chuckle, and continued to read from the first of the stories.

True to John's word, he was asleep soon afterward. His jaw only dropped slightly in the chair and the steadiness of his soft breathing almost tempted Anna to do the same but she continued with the book. She stopped reading, marking the page where John's breathing had hitched before deepening in official sleep, and strummed through the pages slowly to admire them.

Each page bore decoration lost as an art form in modern books. Especially those most often read via electric device. Not that she did not appreciate the iPad that carried a library with her when she wanted to read on planes but did not want to sacrifice weight of space. But, as she carefully manipulated the heavier-than-paper pages, her eyes flicked to the artwork.

A soft laugh had her flipping back to the beginning of the book to find all the pages with full illustrations. They reflected the light and Anna noted the illuminated pages, giving herself another laugh as she remembered the case when she was a PC that taught her all about rare books when one of the pages of one was stolen during a critical restoration process. Her fingers carefully ran over the picture and she was about the turn the page when it caught the light through the thick, almost parchment-like paper.

Anna frowned and turned the page back, her fingers caressing the soft illustration only to note the difference in texture in the drawing. A difference that she noted again when she held the page upright and adjusted the book to catch the light again. It only furrowed deeper lines into her forehead when she flipped to the next full-page illustration and noted the same thing. Darker lines drawn over sections of the images that resembled…

Setting the book on the sofa, Anna leaned over to shake John. "John, I need you to wake up."

"What?" He frowned, his not opening fully. "Are you ready for dinner? Because I've got something planned and-"

"No, I need your help with something." Anna waited as John finally opened his eyes and sat up more fully in the chair. "Do you know Morse Code?"

"I learned it in basics while in the military, why?" John frowned, "Don't you know it?"

"We don't use it beyond things like 'S.O.S' so, technically no." Anna grabbed the book and set it over his lap. Turning to the first illustration, she pointed at the pen-darkened lines. "What's that look like to you?"

John studied the illustration a moment before shrugging. "Three dashes."

"And," Anna turned to the next page and pointed at the same phenomenon. "That one? What's it look like?"

"A single dash." John found the next page and scanned as Anna stepped back, folding her arms over her chest. "Another single dash."

"I've not checked the whole book but…"

"Right," John carefully managed the book with one hand and stood up. "I don't suppose you brought a notebook with you on this trip."

Anna went to her things, digging into her rucksack for the notebook and a pen before joining John at the table. He turned the pages and showed Anna the images before giving her the matching letter for coordinates for the Morse Code alphabet. For each one, Anna also marked the page for the illustration.

When they finished, John shutting the book after the fifteenth illustration gave them the final letter, Anna re-wrote the letters at the top of the page. She held it up to John and he shook his head. "I feel like I just fell into that _National Treasure_ movie. And I don't even like Nicolas Cage."

"The problem with this reading 'Ottendorf Cipher'," Anna tapped her notebook, "Is that we don't have the numbers for it. An Ottendorf Cipher requires a series of three numbers. We only have the Morse Code symbols here."

"Symbols someone obviously thought would be a little easier to find." John tapped on the book, his lips pursing for a moment. "What if she did it twice?"

"Did what twice?" Anna raised an eyebrow as John opened the book back to the first illustration. "You think she marred the book twice?"

"You're assuming your great-grandmother did this."

"Who else would go to all the trouble?" Anna shrugged, "And if my grandmother knew about this she would've acted on it. My grandmother was a great one for puzzles. Sudoku, crosswords, and those 'find the hidden message' ones."

"Then maybe this was done for her." John carefully lifted the page and checked it against the light. "Ha, found them. Or… I found one."

They went back through the pictures again, taking the numbers down and staring at their collection. Anna bit the inside of her cheek before turning to John. "What if we assume that since there's three numbers to a set in the cipher that we're looking for five pages?"

"Group them in sets of three then?" John reached over, taping over the first three numbers to find the page, the line on the page, and the word in the line. "First on says 'The'."

"The?" Anna took it down, organizing the next set of three numbers for John to turn to. "I'm a bit underwhelmed."

"So am I." John turned to the next page, "Next word, 'bookshelf'."

"I guess we've got a specific noun now." Anna paused, "Feels a bit like being in a spelling bee with the easiest words I'd ever get."

"I could see it." John flipped to the third page. "You'll hate this one."

"What is it?"

"The word is, 'in'."

"In?"

John nodded and Anna only sighed as he found the fourth word. "My."

"My what?"

"The word is 'my'."

Anna noted it and faced John as he got to the last page. "What's the last of our underwhelming words?"

"Room."

"So, all totaled, our great cipher just reads out, 'The bookshelf in my room'?" Anna sighed, "Maybe we've got the wrong book."

"What other book could she possibly reference that your grandmother would have access to?"

"True." Anna tapped her pencil against the notebook. "I did find the other copy of that book there. Maybe it reads differently."

"Didn't you compare them?"

"Not with excessive detail." Anna chewed her lip, "There were other books on the shelf. Ms. Sinderby told me, the first time I was in there with her, that those books would be a good chunk of change if you sold them."

"Not sure your great-grandmother could've predicted that kind of popularity of those books when she got them." John shrugged, "But what's the harm in looking at them? Maybe there's something there."

"Maybe." Anna's fingers flexed over the notebook before she pushed it away. "But it'll keep. It's kept this long."

"You don't want to check on it now?"

"Part of me does but…" Anna winced, "It's hard to explain."

"Try me."

"Part of me feels horrible, like this was supposed to be something for my grandmother to find. Like I'm intruding on something my great-grandmother took a lot of time and effort to create specifically for her and yet… She never found it. She never noticed it."

"Maybe she did but she didn't know what it meant." John tapped on the notebook page. "Your grandmother would never know what bookshelf was being discussed here. She didn't even remember her own name. How could she possibly try to remember that her mother had a bookshelf in a place she didn't remember?"

"You've got a point." Anna shook her head, "It just feels wrong. Like I'm the wrong person for this and the right people are all dead. Like it doesn't matter what I find because the people who needed that closure can't ever get it."

"What if the dead don't care about the closure as much as we care about it for them?" John nodded at the book. "Regardless of your grandmother ever finding the letter tucked in there or the ciphers we just managed to decrypt, she still kept the book. She still had a piece of her mother all along. And that, in a way, is comfort in and of itself."

"You've a very poetic way about you, Mr. Bates." Anna leaned over the corner of the table toward him. "It's special, your way with words."

"I cultivated it just for you." John winked at her and Anna ran her tongue over her lips. "What?"

"I've a very salacious suggestion and I don't know if I should make it."

"In my experience," John took one of her hands, drawing his finger slowly over the lines of it. "One should never not make a salacious suggestion when both parties are obviously willing and eager."

"Bold of you to assume I'm eager."

"May I remind you, Ms. Smith, that you're the one with the suggestion?"

"Oh, right, I forgot." Anna pushed her chair back from the table and moved to straddle John. "How durable is the furniture in this place?"

"Can't say I've done a lot of aerobics on any of it but…" John's hands settled on Anna's thighs, tracing up to grip her hips for a moment. "We could test it until we're sure it could break."

"I'm willing if you are."

"And eager."

"Keep saying it like that," Anna let her hands form around John's jaw, leaning down to kiss near his ear before whispering to him, "And I won't do what I was planning to do to you."

"What were you planning to do to me?"

"Take you on this chair." Anna's fingers pulled John's belt from his trousers and waited for his reaction. "Unless you're not sure."

"I'm very sure." John's prosthetic tapped the floor. "I even brought a spare, in case I need to give this one a rest."

"I'm glad I've caught you at the stage where you're comfortable with this." Anna crossed her arms down to her hips and lifted her shirt over her head, dropping it behind her on her chair before squealing back as John tickled at her sides. "Mr. Bates! You took horrible advantage."

"Of course I did." He lifted his hips slightly, allowing Anna to tug his trousers and pants to his knees. She hissed a second when her skin came in contact with the cold bit of his prosthetic. "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about." Anna let her fingers pull his shirt apart and leave it draped over the back of his chair before stepping back to shimmy out of her trousers. "I've just got to be a little more aware this time."

"You could take it off me." John nodded toward his prosthetic.

"I need you sturdy." Anna settled again, rolling her hips into John's so he groaned. "If the chair breaks then I need to trust your leg'll catch us."

"Then you're shit out of luck there because it'll crumble just like we will."

"Then," Anna put her hands on John's shoulders, rolling her hips again so John's hands firmed on her hips. "I guess I'll just have to aim right to ensure our fall makes sure we're fully together."

"Then," John's fingers tugged on the elastic of her knickers, snapping it lightly against her skin. "Why are you still wearing these?"

"I thought they'd add a bit of temptation." Anna ground against him, her knees digging into his hips to hold herself closer to John so his fingers dug into her sides. "And I was right."

"Then," His hands smoothed over her back, unclipping her bra so it sagged near her elbows until Anna flung it behind her. It caught on the top of the chair, flapping against the wood, and John sighed as his hands sculpted unhindered over Anna's back. "I should convince you that you've done your job."

"And how would you do that?"

"By," John snuck his fingers under the elastic of her knickers and stroked two fingers down to her folds. "Testing if you're ready yet."

"Confident that I excited myself as much as I've excited you?" Anna dropped one of her hands to stroke over John's erection while the fingers of her other hand curled around the back of his neck to secure her hold there. "Perhaps you're overconfident in yourself."

"I don't think so." John's fingers moved out and Anna almost bit her tongue trying to stop herself reacting when John sucked both fingers into his mouth. "I think you're more than ready."

"Then do something about it, Mr. Bates." Anna tried to tease but a moment later John tugged her knickers aside and was inside her in a second.

Before she even had time to settle, Anna's ass planted on the table, the awkward ride of the material of her knickers tugging into her skin as John's hands firmed over her thighs and ass to hold her steady as he aimed carefully to thrust deeply into her. Anna's nails grazed into John's shoulders and side and then firmed when John adjusted them again to bring Anna's knickers to rub in time with his pelvis against her clit. Groaning into his skin, she clutched him closer with her knees pulling tighter at his legs while they slipped and slid together.

Anna scooted forward, her skin dragging a catching on the tabletop, and almost dangled herself over the edge. John's hands adjusted to catch her so Anna snuck one of her hands between them. Given the tightness of the space, or the lack of space between them, her fingers immediately left them both moaning as she sought her clit. The clit caught between her fingers and her knickers.

Any dragging she used to try and relieve the building pressure on her nerves, led Anna to pull the material of her knickers over John. He dug deeper into the flesh of her ass as his teeth grazed her shoulder in response to the way the fabric moved between them. Anna gasped out when he bit down as her fingers slipped and ran over him on his withdraw. Her other hand grabbed at his shoulder to hold tightly as John increased speed.

It took less than a minute for him to finish. The end of her was only a few seconds later, in the aftermath of John's climax, when he changed positions in the last stutters of his body. Her fingers trailed off his shoulders and she almost sagged back onto the table before John's hands caught her. Caught her to stumble slightly into his chair to land them in a huff.

Anna snorted her laugh, part of it the residual energy from her orgasm, and put her head to John's shoulder. She only moved when his fingers traced over her shoulder and he turned slightly to see the outline of his teeth there. "You've gone and marked me."

"No worries," John kissed at the marks before pulling back slightly. "I've left it where no one else will see it, I promise."

"Good." Anna sighed, her arms looping around his shoulders. "I'll be honest, I don't know if I can eat at this table now."

"Well," John sighed, "There goes the romantic dinner I planned for us."

"Just for now." Anna put her elbow on his shoulder, leaning on her palm as the pointer finger of her other hand traced down his face. "You've quite impressed me, you know?"

"Because I took you on the table?"

"Because of everything you are." Anna gave a little, sad smile. "If only my great-grandmother met someone like you."

"I think she did." John's fingers traced over Anna's arms before kissing at her skin. "He just wasn't hers."

"Makes it even more sad." Anna leaned forward, kissing at John's nose before pushing herself back. "Come on, you promised me a romantic dinner and I want to take you up on that offer."

"As my mistress commands." John took her hand and stood. "The chair held."

"So did the table." Anna knocked her knuckles against the wood before grabbing her things. "Good furniture."

"Good sex."

Anna only raised an eyebrow at him before shaking her head.

* * *

 _Anna ran her fingers through the beginnings of soft, golden curls. Curls colored so much like her hair. But the curls… Her fingers paused and then lifted as the life under her fingers twitched and snuffled in her sleep. When the baby relaxed after a moment she smiled to herself and continued the tender brush of those tight curls._

 _"_ _They're mine." She looked up and pulled back slightly as John entered the room. "The curls. When I was young I had them but they straightened out as I got older. No trace of them now."_

 _"_ _My hair holds curl but it doesn't make it." Anna sat back from the bassinet as the baby continued sleeping. "Have you and Lady Grange chosen a name for her yet?"_

 _"_ _I quite liked your suggestion." John sat on the chair on the other side of the bassinet, "To name her Rose."_

 _"_ _Surely she's got more names than that." Anna tried to smile, as John did, but neither one of them could manufacture enough false emotion. "She'll probably have your mother's name and Lady Grange's mother's name and-"_

 _"_ _She'll have two names and a surname, no more." John's voice cut but he immediately ducked his head. "I apologize. I've… That was uncalled for and ungentlemanly. It's… It's an argument from somewhere else. I hope you'll forgive me."_

 _"_ _An argument you've been having with yourself or with someone else… Somewhere else?" Anna waited, noticing how John refused to meet her eyes. "I'd like to think that you and I are beyond the stage where we'll hide things from one another. Considering… Considering everything."_

 _John barely nodded his head. "Yes, I'd hoped we were too."_

 _"_ _Is it Lady Grange, who disapproves?"_

 _"_ _She believes that taking the child under our manufactured circumstances require that we play the game as the game demands. She believes that a bas… A base born child needs to pretend from birth or everyone'll always know the truth, even if they'll suspect it for Rose's entire life."_

 _"_ _Then Lady Grange wants to give Rose more names?"_

 _"_ _She wants to give Rose different names." John's hands twitched, his fingers flexing as if to reach in and touch the child, but he stopped himself. A moment later he laid his large hand on the slowly rising and falling chest of the girl. "She never did like flowers… Or understand why they're so beautiful."_

 _"_ _I guess it has to be something you share." Anna dipped her hand to touch Rose's curls again and tried to hide the hitch in her breath when John's hand met hers._

 _"_ _Something you and I share."_

 _"_ _Not like this." Anna drew her hand back. "I'll assume that this… Awkward explanation puts an end to our rendezvous."_

 _"_ _Why would you say that?"_

 _"_ _Do you believe that Lady Grange will allow us to continue as we did?" Anna stood, biting at the inside of her lip as she stepped away from the bassinet and the sleeping girl. "This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to happen."_

 _"_ _She told me," John stood as well, his hands going behind his back. "That she found something for you the drink. Something… Something like what she used all those years ago. Something she wanted you to take."_

 _"_ _She also knew of a few women she thought would help me as well but…" Anna shrugged, "I didn't take her advice or her information on either matter."_

 _"_ _She wanted you to lose Rose?"_

 _"_ _No matter what Lady Grange wanted, I'd never do it." Anna shuddered, "I watched more than a few girls in my neighborhood in Whitby die because they visited some back alley abortionist. And I saw just as many cast to the streets because of what they did with a loose farmhand or an overeager stable boy."_

 _"_ _But you bore Rose anyway." John nodded toward the sleeping baby. "Why risk all that? Why risk what it's done to you?"_

 _"_ _Made me a recluse in an already exclusive house?" Anna took a breath, "Because she's all I'll ever really have of you. All I'll ever get to keep for myself."_

 _"_ _What are you saying?" John reached for Anna's hands but she stepped back to avoid him. "Anna… Why would you-"_

 _"_ _Because we both know I'll never have you." Anna sniffed, gripping so tightly at her fingers her digits all went white. "Whatever I hoped to have… It was a foolish dream. The mad ravings of a silly girl who thought that the man she loved could love her back when he can't. He's not allowed."_

 _"_ _But I do love you Anna." John finally managed to wrap his hands around hers, gently prying her fingers apart so the blood flowed again. "I love you."_

 _"_ _But you can't love me, you're not allowed." Anna slipped her hands from his. "The night I had Rose and they brought her here, to the nursery, and Lady Grange spent all those days preening over her… I knew I couldn't have you and you couldn't have me. That we can't love one another."_

 _"_ _That won't stop me loving you."_

 _"_ _Then perhaps I'm not the only fool here." Anna reached for him but stopped herself, drawing back to the door. "We were fools, John, to believe that anything could come of it without horrible consequences."_

 _"_ _We were Icarus."_

 _Anna nodded, "Yes. And now we're falling back to earth. The only way to save ourselves is to learn to fly again and fly away."_

 _"_ _I don't want you to fly away."_

 _"_ _I don't have a choice." Anna curtsied to John. "Good afternoon, Lord Grange."_

 _"_ _Anna-"_

 _She slipped from the room and was down the corridor before John fully opened the door to follow. And by his footfalls Anna knew he would have caught up to her if someone had not stepped around the curve of the corridor first. With the carpet muffling her shoes, Anna almost did not notice Lady Grange's approach and barely controlled herself form gasping aloud at the sight of the woman._

 _Forcing another curtsey, this one keeping her back ramrod straight, Anna nodded at the woman as she stood tall again. They eyed one another and it took everything Anna had not to look over her shoulder when Lady Grange's gaze flicked back to match the storm cloud brewing in her scowl. Her next words were addressed to John, as he joined them in an awkward trio in the corridor._

 _"_ _What were you doing in the nursery with Ms. Smith, John?"_

 _"_ _I went to see Rose and Ms. Smith was-"_

 _"_ _That's not her name." Lady Grange hissed and Anna barely flicked her eyes left to see John's form harden and deep furrows form a matching scowl on his face._

 _"_ _That is her name and you'll either like it Vera or so help me…"_

 _"_ _You'll what?" Lady Grange turned her cheek to John, "Strike me? Then I'll have to beg your forgiveness as I race off to have it photographed."_

 _John almost deflated but kept his stance, "Her name is Rose and that's final."_

 _"_ _I announced her birth in the paper. She's going to be called what I deem fitting for a child of this house."_

 _"_ _She's my heir, Vera, not yours." John regained a bit of the puff to his chest. "And her name is my decision, not yours."_

 _"_ _And what'll you do when those nasty little rumors that used to trail Ms. Smith here like a bad fug come around again? Only this time they question your heir?" Lady Grange waited, the contortions on her face and John's matched in darkness and turmoil. "Because I can unbury the roots of those rumors. I can make them public again. I can make them a problem again."_

 _"_ _Then I'll make your life a problem and give them the rumors of your activities." Anna noted the slight tremble to Lady Grange's posture. "But I'll do you one better, because I've got proof."_

 _"_ _Your proof is in that nursery." Lady Grange's jabbing finger almost stabbed at Anna but she dodged the digit. "And besides, how will you bear the shame?"_

 _"_ _I've already been a cuckhold, I can bear the truth when it was only rumors before." John shrugged, "And a man with an illegitimate child is nothing to an adulterous wife… Just remember that."_

 _He nodded to Lady Grange and bowed his head at Anna before leaving them in the corridor. Neither woman moved until he was out of sight but, Anna quickly realized, that was far too late to leave the scene. The location of their mutual desolation continued its festering pull as Lady Grange stepped in front of Anna to block her escape to friendlier climes._

 _"_ _If you don't mind, milady, I do have duties to-"_

 _"_ _You think he'll chose you over me?"_

 _Anna blinked, "I beg your pardon?"_

 _"_ _Don't bother begging," Lady Grange sneered at Anna, almost dwarfing her in the swift change in temperature between them. "It'd do you no good since I'd not answer your pleas in any position."_

 _"_ _I've made no petition to you and I never will." Anna tried to move again, "You're preventing me doing my duty."_

 _"_ _And who told you your duty was to get pregnant?" Lady Grange snorted, "What a slut you are. I had a feeling you'd breed like a brood mare and then, I thought, he'll be happy and he'll let well enough alone."_

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _Did I not tell you?" Lady Grange's lip almost curled back. "I only allowed the liaisons so there would be a child. The child John so desperately wanted but could never manage to find amongst the brats and bastards he keeps here like a collection of ponies until they're old enough to be of use."_

 _"_ _You wanted me to…"_

 _"_ _Fall pregnant? Yes, and I hoped rather sooner than you did." Lady Grange managed another sneer, this one grating differently against Anna. "I didn't think it would take so long for him to put a child in you but I guess his bedding skills weren't as good as he claimed."_

 _"_ _I don't-" Anna tried to move again but Lady Grange manipulated their positions to put Anna's back to a wall._

 _Her eyes roved Anna, as if she measured a horse for possible purchase. "Or maybe it wasn't him. Maybe you're just as flawed as I was."_

 _"_ _I don't know what you want from me. Or what-"_

 _"_ _Have I not made it abundantly clear?" Lady Grange pointed down the corridor, toward the nursery. "I want your child to be my child."_

 _"_ _Lord Grange said-"_

 _"_ _Lord Grange is a fool. He's thinking with his prick and not his brain." Lady Grange tapped her temple. "I put the announcement in the paper. I played the silly charade for months to convince everyone the baby is ours. He finally has the heir he needs and everyone knows I gave it to him."_

 _"_ _They think you're barren." Anna risked it, pushing herself off the wall and forcing Lady Grange back a pace. "They'll know the truth."_

 _"_ _They'll know the truth we tell them. And that truth, Ms. Smith, 's got nothing to do with you." Lady Grange's mouth widened to a spine-chilling smile. "Is Lady Rose is our child. Not yours, ours."_

 _"_ _They'll see the difference." Anna jabbed her finger at Lady Grange. "She's blonde, like me."_

 _"_ _Her hair could darken."_

 _"_ _And if it doesn't?"_

 _"_ _Then we'll dye it." Lady Grange shrugged, "No one will know and they'll not look too closely, if they know what's good for them."_

 _"_ _What about her other features?" Anna drew her finger over herself in the air. "She'll look like me in more than just her hair."_

 _"_ _That's where this comes in." Lady Grange pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and slapped it on Anna's hand. "Your notice, Ms. Smith."_

 _"_ _My notice?" Anna opened it, flustered with shaking hands before tossing it away. "I didn't write this and I don't accept it."_

 _"_ _It's more generous than you deserve." Lady Grange barely glanced at the paper on the floor. "The other option is to leave immediately, without notice or reference, and see how far you get then."_

 _"_ _Lord Grange will-"_

 _"_ _He'll have as little part in this as I can manage." Lady Grange rolled her shoulders back. "We must avoid scandal and we wouldn't want anyone seeing you and Lady Rose and wondering if there is a relationship. We must protect ourselves from vicious rumors… They ruin, you know."_

 _Her sniggering cackle rang through the corridor as she disappeared around a turn. In the silence that still rang with the echoes of the haunting noise, Anna collapsed to her knees. Wrapping her arms around herself, holding tightly, she broke down into tears that dripped onto the paper until the ink ran into nonsensical, blurry lines._


	15. Wild Governess

"You should sleep."

Anna smiled at the finger stroking over her back and pulled herself from the edge of the bed to face John. She propped her head on her palm and watched his face as his finger continued tracing lines over her back that only he could see. "And why should I sleep? You're the one driving tomorrow."

"True." John leaned forward and kissed Anna's left shoulder, following a few of the indentations of her sin before pulling back. "But you've had a pretty emotional day… Or, at least a tiring one."

"Says my equivalent participant." Anna dropped to the bed to stretch her other arm far enough to flip the cover of the book of fairy tales closed. "And I can't sleep. Too many thoughts running through my head."

"Too many thoughts?"

Anna nodded, "It's like this a lot when I'm working a case. Too many possibilities and things to think about."

"Too many hunches?"

"If I didn't have DNA testing for blood, maybe, but since I'm not a noir detective novel or a crime report from a hundred years ago," Anna resituated herself, resting her chin on her crossed arms before turning to her cheek to look at John, stretched on his side. "Mostly I question motives, methodology, and the possible rationalization of their decisions."

"Wondering how you hate someone enough to want to kill them?" John's finger traced the scars on Anna's left arm before he adjusted to kiss over the ones he could reach and then turned to kiss over her back. "Or who would be greedy enough to do something so horrible and believe they'd get away with it?"

"The second part of your second question is easy," Anna snorted a laugh into her arms. "People are stupid and they think you won't notice."

"People are stupid." John agreed and Anna hummed when he maneuvered closer to her to continue kissing over her back. "I hope you've not lumped me into the group we've labeled 'people'."

"Not as yet." Anna closed her eyes, relaxing under the gentle caress of John's lips against her exposed back. "You're one of the good ones."

"Thank you." John purred into her skin and Anna shivered. "I'll take the compliment there."

"You should."

"But," John paused, the tip of his tongue following the dip of her spine. "What is keeping you flipping to those pictures?"

"Just the unfairness of life I guess." Anna partially turned her head over her shoulder but all she could really see was John's shoulder in the orange light of the wood-burning stove. "To figure this out and yet have it not really resolve all the issues it was meant to resolve."

"Still on that?" John paused, his hands holding him above her back while fingers teased the sheets lower and off her ass.

"I can't get off it really." Anna shivered again, giggling a bit when John grazed his teeth near the rise of her ass. "You're distracting me."

"That's exactly what I'm doing." He teased, his right leg slotting between hers on the bed and urging Anna to spread them so John could slot himself behind her. "I find physical needs usually take precedence over mental ones."

"Because thinking is bloody hard when you're bloody hard?" Anna tried to tease back but whimpered as one of John's fingers slid down the line of her folds.

"Says the woman who's so wet it's almost criminal." John kept his finger moving up and down, slowly sliding deeper between her slick lips. "I'm sure you weren't getting like this thinking about injustices in the world."

"No," Anna agreed, biting at the inside of her cheek as a shudder of pleasure passed through her. "I got like this thinking about what you've done to me in this bed and what you might've been planning to do to me."

"Well," John's lips touched her shoulder and Anna turned her head to meet his lips in a deep, drugging kiss. "No need to wonder any longer."

"No?"

"No," His lips went to her ear. "I plan to take you like this."

"Do you?"

"Unless you've any objections." John's hips lowered and Anna arched her back to lift her hips in answer to the stroking motions of his erection against her ass. "But I doubt you do."

"Not unless you're hoping for something a little kinkier than I'm thinking." Anna met his lips again, the kiss more playful until John's fingers entered her. "I didn't think so."

"All Biblical exclusions apply." John kissed just under her ear as his hand adjusted to put his thumb to her clit while his fingers continued inside her. The angle had his hand slipping between her folds with every thrust they made together. "I'm relatively traditional."

"Good." Anna's eyes shut as John's fingers crooked inside her to rub against her nerves and she moaned. "Sweet Christmas don't tease."

"Why not?" John laid a line of kisses over her shoulders, the depth of his smile evident against her skin. "It's worth every moment."

"I swear…"

"Just a moment." John's fingers altered again and Anna's walls clamped on them, the orgasm rolling through her. "There, now you're as ready as I am."

Anna rose onto her forearms and pushed her knees back, forcing John to lean on his knee and right leg. But when Anna paused, about to readjust her position to compensate for the loss in dexterity his leg might cause, John's hands firmed on her hips. Their eyes met in the shadowed orange of the room and he shook his head.

"I've got this."

"Do you?" Anna waited a beat before rubbing her ass back against him, noting the bruising grip in time with his reaction. "Because I think you're about a second away from losing all control."

"Would you want that?" John's chest pressed tightly to her back, one of his hands sacrificing his hold on her to lean to her ear again. "Do you want to see what would happen then?"

"Yes." Anna practically keened, her body moving with his as he ran his arousal between her folds. "I want that to happen."

"Then," John kissed down her neck, "Don't keep it to yourself. I'd like to hear you, if you've got anything to say about what comes next."

Not that Anna could say much. The ability to speak in coherent sentences or even string two syllables together all but evaporated when John entered her. Any concept of slow or easy vanished in a second of merciful abandon and all Anna could do was respond in kind with incoherent mutters and half-formed words lost in an instant under the onslaught of John's thrusts.

Thrusts that only continued his sensual teasing and ran between her folds without bringing them together. It excited and infuriated Anna as she tried to push herself back, to take him, but John only maneuvered around her and brought his fingers from her hip to stroke and press at her clit. Continued until Anna almost sagged with the effort of keeping up with his taunts until he drove into her.

He held there, the two of them quivering until they vibrated like tension wires, until Anna managed a moan. A kiss to the middle of her back timed perfectly with his withdraw before he thrust deeply again. "Don't keep it to yourself now. Let me hear you, Anna. There's no one else to."

Whatever thoughts she had about trying to avoid the urge to ride John back were lost when he hitched up inside her. Hitched to counter the grinding motion Anna pressed determinedly against him as a means to salve the ache he encouraged with his fingers and his motions. And it pulled them closer and apart in an ancient and primal ritual they rediscovered with each motion and moment. Combine and split like colliding atoms until John's body tightened.

All the muscles coiling over and around Anna warned her but she still groaned in time with John as he finished. The final stutters left tremors in his hand but Anna contorted herself to meet those determined touches John left on her so she could come with him. Join him in that glow they created together.

Their awkward position, when they landed and rolled, left them laughing breathlessly into the covers. Steadily, with all the slowness of people coming back to themselves, they found their desired sleeping arrangements and settled together. Close enough to keep the heat and feel of the other but far enough away that they could move as they needed. Far enough away to remind themselves they were still little more than strangers.

Strangers sharing a bed in the mountains in the veritable middle of nowhere.

That thought brought the DI out in Anna's brain. As John drifted off, his chest rising and falling with the relaxed ease of someone completely drained of energy, Anna watched him. Watched and wondered at the oddity of it all. At the desirability of it all. And the utter ridiculousness of it.

She dozed fitfully, never quite lapsing into sleep but unable to remember the bits and pieces of the night she missed. Finally, frustrated and unable to find a comfortable position, Anna pushed herself out of bed. Her tracksuit bottoms yanked from her bag and the accompanying jumper covered her perfunctory underwear so she could slip her feet into her shoes and sneak out the back door.

Failing to stop the screen door's clatter against the frame, Anna waited with bated breath for signs of life from John but he slept on. Her fingers left the wood and she wrapped her arms around herself to try and keep some of the warmth in before walking onto the grass. In the dim, blue-orange light of morning, Anna's feet slipped and soon dewed in the wet grass to match the puffs of air escaping her mouth as she walked a discernable trail through the blades.

Walking where, exactly, Anna could hardly tell. There was nowhere to go on the mountain and she had no interest in the barn or the old stables out the front side of the house. Instead her feet guided her to the only bit of property not anxious to display the looming mountains and imposing peaks that formed a bowl for the display. Her feet led her to the little family cemetery offering the best view on the whole mountain.

Anna's hands smoothed over her arms, still shivering slightly in the early morning chill, and she walked through the stones. All simple, carved with the necessary information and nothing more, and marking off the plots of those buried on ground they hallowed by their presence. Ground Anna walked cautiously before stopping in front of the stone for Jane Bates. The stone for the baby lost so long ago.

"What a tragedy." Anna's voice surprised her but she just rubbed harder at one of her arms and continued, as if the presence of the dead encouraged confession. "I've not been to church in a long time so I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. Hell, I'm not sure if I even know what I'm doing."

She let out a breath, almost laughing at the absurdity of it all. "John's suggestion is that the dead don't much care about all this. Outside of finding peace, I guess. The mortal world being of so little consequence when you're… well, dead." Anna wiped at her nose for a moment before continuing. "But I'd like to think it'll mean something. That I didn't come all this way to satisfy my curiosity."

Plopping down onto the ground next to the grave, Anna pulled her knees close enough to drape her arms over them. "I didn't even have curiosity about this. I wasn't at all curious or interested in anything going on in Oz. Much less aware that I was the subject of some kind of… It's a right family drama, isn't it? And the worst part is that I don't even know if it's any good."

Her eyes closed and her hands went to the back of her neck to support it when she hung her head backwards. "I don't even know what I'm doing." Anna tipped her head forward, between her knees. "I'm looking for ghosts and hoping they'll give me answers."

Something brushed against Anna's arm and she raised her head but saw nothing. Another brush had her up on her feet in an instant. In another instant she brushed violently at her clothes to rid herself of the ants walking over her.

"Gross." She hissed, thoroughly checking over herself before leaving the little cemetery. "This is what I get for bearing my soul to stones."

Her trek back to the house left a bit less of her breath on the air and once she had a warm cup of tea between her hands and her legs folded into the rocking chair facing the peeking sun on the horizon, Anna almost felt the peace of the place. A peace marred by the notes she glimpsed on the table, pushed to the end they had not used for dinner… Or sex. A peace marred by the pen markings in the book she could no longer ignore or put out of her mind.

A peace barely interrupted by John peeking his head out the back door. "How long have you been up?"

"Long enough that it's starting to feel vaguely warm out here." Anna smiled up at him and held up the cup. "There's tea, if you want any."

"It'll spoil my appetite." John circled her chair to take the one next to her. "What had you up at dawn?"

"Did you notice I was gone?"

"Sort of… In a half-dreamed kind of way." John smiled, "In my dream you came back, naked, and then acted the part of the siren in pulling me to my death beneath the waves of a rolling sea so take what you will from that."

"I'll leave the whole thing alone." Anna grinned over the rim of her cup before taking another sip. "I just needed to think."

"Did the fresh mountain air do you any good?" John shivered in place, burying his hands under his armpits in his sweatshirt. "Because it's brass monkeys out here and I'd rather not be out here."

"It's not as cold as all that." Anna tutted at him, finishing her tea and setting the cup on a tiny table next to her rocking chair. "And not really."

"It seems not much clears your mind."

"It's nothing to do with my… Conditions, I assure you."

"I never suspected otherwise." John waited a moment before leaning forward and taking Anna's hand with his. "What's got you all tangled up?"

Anna almost bit the insides of her cheeks before turning to John. "We need to go back. Back to Bates Manor or Bushwarden Base or whatever you're calling it. We need to go back and I need to see if there are answers there."

"Different from the answers you've already gotten?" Anna flicked her fingers at him and John held up his hands in defense. "You were the one frustrated with what you weren't finding."

"Hence how we ended up here, I know." Anna sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "I just… I feel like time is running out for me to find these answers. And I'm not even sure if I know that I'm asking the right questions."

"You've still got almost two weeks of holiday left yeah?"

"Yeah." Anna put her head back against the rocking chair. "Doesn't mean I don't feel like those ridiculous ticking clocks on the screens in movies."

"I can understand that." John leaned back in her chair, matching her pose. "Well, if you want to go back then I'll make us breakfast, we'll clean up here, pack up, and be back by this evening. You can crack on with the rest of your research tomorrow if you like."

Anna blinked at him, "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"You planned this romantic getaway and-"

"Okay," John held up a hand, "We should get one thing clear. This was romantic but it wasn't a getaway."

"It's the most planned-out and beautiful date I've ever been on."

"And our 'relationship', if we're even calling it that, is one built on adrenaline, fear, and a few other emotions I think it'd be best if we thought through before making fools of ourselves and believing that the depth of what we have is an ocean instead of a pond."

"I'd still argue a lake."

"Yes, but not Lake Victoria. Something more like… I dunno, a much smaller lake than that."

"Fair and fine." Anna gave a little laugh, a smile edging on her face. "Still doesn't mean I don't recognize the trouble you went through for this and the trouble you'd go through just to toss it all in like I was only staying over at yours."

"Technically you already did that and since this is part of the property it is, for the moment, almost technically mine." John's grin widened, "And I've always found that women don't tend toward the coy and mysterious as often as men want to believe. Usually they're very direct and you've told me what you want. I'd be a fool not to listen."

"And what about all those men who don't listen?" Anna shrugged, "Why do they all think we're such 'mysterious' creatures?"

"Justifies why they exert little to no effort in seeking understanding and then serves to prove their point when they're on the short end of the stick."

"Laziness, what an explanation." Anna sighed, looking back toward the sunrise. "If my grandmother had been born here, to two poor but loving parents, I would've probably never been born."

"What?"

Anna shrugged and turned to John. "I was thinking about that this morning, walking from the cemetery, that if the family had stayed here, if they'd never gone to live in that house, then my grandmother might've been born here to two parents that loved her. Two parents that would've scrimped and saved and given their lives to this land. And she would've met a nice man and had children here. Children who might've hated it and left but might've also stayed. Then I could've been born here."

"You'd have more of an Aussie accent."

"I'd probably not be a DI either." Anna took a breath, "It's funny the way the world turns. A single event can change the course of events for dozens of people. Usually more, thinking about it."

"Do early mornings usually make you philosophical?"

"Thinking about how I stand to inherit all of this does." Anna put her hands on the arms of the chair and pushed herself to stand. "As for the… request."

"Yes?" John looked up at her and Anna shook her head.

"There's no need to hurry."

"You're sure?"

"No but," Anna waved a hand toward the sunrise. "The sun's coming up and whatever's under those covers in my great-grandmother's room will still be there tomorrow or the day after. There's really no hurry."

"If you're sure." John stood as well. "Because we could even skip breakfast if you want. I could pack it all up and-"

He stopped when Anna's fingers played with the elastic band of his pajama trousers. "You're playing with fire."

"Just seeing if you're…" Anna pried the band from his body just enough to let his eyes peek down. "Up."

"That's hardly fair."

"Less than hardly." Anna giggled, closing the distance between them so the blade of her hand fit between his trousers and his body to run her fingers in tantalizing strokes over him. "But I decided, when you were so willing, that your behavior deserved a reward."

"I didn't do it for that."

"Even more reason." Anna firmed her hand and gasped out when John's hands settled on her ass, bringing her close enough that his hips ground into hers. "And you're right, there's no rush."

"You thought there was."

"And perhaps the purpose of this trip," Anna rolled her hips into him, biting at her cheek to stop from smiling at the way his face contorted. "Since I'm short a cabana boy, I need to find fun in other places."

"I'm the holiday fling?"

"Bit more than that." Anna paused, her tongue darting over her lips. "Dirty letter correspondent? Like a pen pal but for naughty letters that-"

John's hands firmed around her and lifted Anna into the air. Her legs wrapped around his waist and held tightly to him as their mouths crashed to fuse together. Fingers delved into hair or pulled at clothing until Anna's back hit the wall of the house. She gasped out but quickly renewed their kiss before John could argue and rocked her hips toward his, bouncing just enough to try and build up the friction between the two of them.

They struggled with their trousers, trying to pull and tug them before Anna finally wiggled free of John's grip. Her hands forced them down and John turned her to press her back to his chest. Anna caught herself on the paneling on the side of the house, holding there as John's hands wrapped around her chest to caress her breasts through the jumper before diving under it to fully knead at her skin. She moaned and thrust herself into his hold before gasping out when his other hand snaked to her exposed clit.

His fingers firmed their grip and pulled her closer to him so her ass sat perfectly in the cradle of his hips. Enough so the familiar run of his erection could press insistently at her before running along her still damp folds. A dampness that only slicked over John and increased in direct proportion with his speed. A dampness he used to reposition them and thrust into her.

There was no finesse to their movements. None as they swiveled in an odd dance move so Anna's hands grabbed the back of the rocking chair and they faced the sunrise. No form as Anna drove back into the pounding thrusts of John's punishing pace. And nothing but raw pleasure as they raced for the finish they reached with guttural groans and half-murmured moans in the morning.

John's shaking hands flitted over hers before finding his own hold on the back of the chair. A hold that allowed him to kiss at whatever exposed skin there was on Anna's neck. "Thank you for staying."

"You suggested that we've not got a 'relationship'." Anna wiggled slightly against him, leaving John groaning before Anna slipped free and restored herself. "I'd say this is a great time to see if we'd even want to consider one."

"Can we do that?" John sorted himself and reached around her to pull the screen door open so they could return to the indoors. "Given you live on the other side of the world normally and are probably going back there when this is all over."

"They invented planes and Skype and a number of other things to make it possible for two people who are interested in one another and dedicated to the idea of something working out to make that possible." Anna shrugged, "If you want."

John shrugged in return, "Why not see what happens after a few days here."

"Other than good sex?"

Now it was John's turn to shake his head and usher them inside.

* * *

 _Anna pulled at her fingers as John read over the blurred notice. Her tears had thoroughly stained some portions but the meaning was clear as ever. She noted it in the way it trembled in his hand. Not, as it had in hers, from fear and terror but the rage barely constrained on his face._

 _He finally faced her and Anna restrained herself taking a step back on the naked rage on his face. The paper trembled as he held it up. "She gave this to you?"_

 _"_ _In the corridor." Anna wiped at her eyes, trying to keep her voice level. "She gave me the notice and said I could take it or no notice and no references… Except the rumors she'd allow to circle me again."_

 _John straightened and moved past Anna. She almost followed him but when the door bounced off the wall when he banged it open, Anna stayed frozen in place in the library. It did not take long to follow the direction of John's march or hear the words exchanged two floors above her. In fact, the entire house could have heard the conversation and Anna caught a number of paused eyes as they flicked up toward the shouting voices._

 _She tried to avoid their hurried glances when they noted her but eventually shrank back into the bowels of the library where no one could see her. Where no one would notice her waiting for the next phase in her life to begin. For there were only two options ahead of her as she watched the children of the house playing out on the lawn under the watchful eye of two nurses and the nanny._

 _The first choice was to leave. With or without reference it hardly mattered. Anna's hand grazed over her abdomen, as if the signs of life in the pram outside still tugged her internally. The bond was already forged the moment the midwife rested Rose in her arms. To leave would… Anna shook her head. Even if the world thought of her only as the heir to John's fortune and the house, Rose was her daughter. If she left her in the hands of Lady Grange it would be tantamount to abandoning her child. And that she could not do._

 _But the second choice was almost impossible. To stay, even under the steadfast protection of Lord Grange, was to invite ruin. Not that the entire house and its household were not achingly aware of the change in her status. The Governess having become the unofficial mistress of the Lord Grange was not something sneaking movements in the corridors in the dead of night could nullify. And they all noted the false pregnancy that Lady Grange carried out while Anna slowly sequestered herself to endure her confinement alone. They were not ignorant of the awkward and immoral agreement Lady Grange initiated between Anna and Lord Grange and it made things… Not as unbearable as the presence of Lady Grange but certainly far less tenable. Respect only carried so far when those around you believed you overstepped your bounds and forgot your place._

 _Anna's fingers went to the window and she traced the outline of the pram where Rose rested quietly. One choice meant leaving her heart in shattered pieces on her way to anywhere else in the world. The location hardly mattered as the facts remained the same: it would break her to leave. But to stay would destroy her reputation, strain the already tense relationship between she and the rest of the staff, and further alienate her from the people in town should Lady Grange exact her revenge through her vicious management of rumors and supposition._

 _Rumors, Anna bit her tongue to remember, that were regretfully true. Despite the adage that those dwelling in their glass houses were the least capable throwers of stones, it would hardly do to threaten to bring down Lady Grange with her. Nothing soured in the mouth like a disgruntled employee and no rumors would take half as well as those associated with a perceived fall from grace. If there was no grace from which to fall, well, there was nothing to be done._

 _The shouting continued and a loud banging brought Anna from her thoughts. Her fingers streaked the window as she turned toward the door. Another set of loud banging brought gasps and cries from the entry hall and Anna hurried to the door of the library to watch. To watch as two massive trunks tottered and bounced down the stairs until John dropped them unceremoniously by the front doors._

 _"_ _Mr. Spratt, please have the car brought around. Lady Grange will take it immediately. Or, better yet, you can ask the man she's with to provide whatever vehicle brought him here to take them both away."_

 _The house froze in unison at the sight of a man, half dressed with buttons askew and posture akimbo, hurrying down the stairs with a face redder than John's. With barely an acknowledged motion, the man hurried out the door with only one shoe on. Following him were hollers and shrieks as Lady Grange came to the entrance hall._

 _"_ _How dare you! He's my solicitor and he-"_

 _"_ _Needed to be half-naked in your room?" John stood tall, "He needed to have his mouth on you and his hands moving toward-"_

 _"_ _You'd speak to me like this?"_

 _"_ _I'll speak to my adulterous wife any way I like." John motioned to those in the hall, all hurriedly moving to be busy anywhere else but there. "And if you try to deny it when I bring those charges to the magistrate as the reason for our divorce, then I'll call each and every one of these good people here to speak to your character."_

 _"_ _And where do you think you'll send me, without ruining your reputation?"_

 _"_ _I'd rather a ruined reputation than your continued cuckhold." John shook his head, "And you can dump yourself in the bush for all I care. I want you gone and you've less than a hour to be so."_

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _And don't take anything I ever bought you." John's jaw stayed firm but for the twitch in a muscle in his cheek. "Whatever you take is what you brought with you, as agreed in our marriage settlement."_

 _"_ _You'd leave me in penury?"_

 _"_ _You've left me in purgatory so I guess the favor's returned in kind."_

 _Lady Grange's face screwed in a vicious scowl. "All for your little whore?"_

 _"_ _I'd speak much more softly when you're the one who thought the whole thing up in the first place." John's voice lowered but Anna did not dare step closer to hear what he said next. Whatever it was turned Lady Grange's face white and had John straightening. "Now get your things and get out of my house."_

 _Lady Grange opened her mouth to argue, "You can't-"_

 _"_ _Don't presume to ever tell me what I can and cannot do, ever again." John pointed to the door, "Don't let it smack your ass on the way out."_

 _Again, the house went quiet as if waiting for the other shoe to drop with the force of a hammer on an anvil. But nothing happened. Lady Grange gathered herself and returned upstairs under John's watchful eye only to return to the hall in under an hour just to gather her things and enter the car without a word. It drove off, leaving only dust behind as proof to her existence._

 _Slowly the household returned to their duties but Anna remained trapped in the library, as if held there by a spell until someone told her she could leave. John came back to the library, tearing up a paper in his hands before tossing it in the fire and turning to look at her. "Your notice, Ms. Smith, is rescinded. I'd very much like it if you'd agree to stay here as governess to the children of Bushwarden Base."_

 _"_ _As simply as that?"_

 _John nodded, "Wherever my wife goes, should she choose to open her mouth and attempt to speak anything ill about you, she'll find my solicitor's following. And given the state of her solicitor, I doubt he'll retain his license. Which, unfortunately for her, puts her at my whim."_

 _"_ _What now?" Anna's voice was quiet but she noted the way John seemed taller, stronger than before as if a weight lifted from his shoulders and he could stand as proud as Atlas after releasing the burden of the sky._

 _"_ _I'll contact my solicitor and he'll begin the proceedings to make her the former Lady Grange. I'll not be chained to that woman a moment longer than I have to be."_

 _Anna swallowed, "And… Is that all?"_

 _John blinked and then his eyes widened. "I… I thought you were against the idea of anything more between the two of us. That you'd… That we'd been fools to dream otherwise. That we should…"_

 _"_ _But if Lady Grange is no longer…" Anna stopped herself, "Perhaps I've overstepped my bounds in this and-"_

 _John had her hand in his in less than a moment, shaking his head emphatically. "Never. I've never not loved you, Anna. The thought that you might leave… It tore at my soul. It… I almost lost you, the first time, and if I failed to fight for you now then…"_

 _He took a breath, "When it's all over, and the dust settles, I want you to be the next Lady Grange. The moment I'm free, Anna, you'll be my wife."_

 _Anna could only blink and stare at him, "You want me…"_

 _"_ _If you'll have me."_

 _"_ _Of course." Anna blinked at the tears rising. Different now, than those she shed only an hour before. Or was it a lifetime. "Of course I'll have you. I'll have you… I've had you… I'd live in sin with you… I've already-"_

 _They broke into strained giggles for a moment until John silenced them both with a kiss. One he broke far too quickly but Anna's hands on his face brought their lips back together. Together until they needed air almost as much as they wanted one another. But they stayed close, their foreheads touching, and breathed together until they thought about finding words._

 _No words were important enough for them to say so they stayed silent. Silent and basking in one another. Basking in the chance to be with one another. Loving the promise of the moment they shared together._

* * *

Anna followed Mrs. Sinderby's example and carefully pulled the white gloves over her fingers. They crouched before the smaller bookcase and Mrs. Sinderby shook her head. "I'll be honest, I've only ever looked at the titles on these. The instructions to the stewards and caretakers have always been very clear in regard to these books."

"What kind of instructions?"

"That we weren't to touch them." Mrs. Sinderby shrugged, "I told you once that they'd fetch a pretty penny, and they would based on their age and the titles here, but the caretakers abided by the stipulations in the last Lord Grange's will not to touch any of the books in this room."

"Then I hope they don't mind if I decide to take a look at one of my great-grandmother's books." Anna carefully extracted one, wincing as the binding cracked in her hands. "As carefully as possible."

"I'd suggest you put it on the carpet, spine down, and-" Mrs. Sinderby paused as Anna held the book out to her. "It's yours."

"But you're the one with a knowledge on the proper care and handling of rare books and I'd hate to damage it by being overeager." Anna nodded at her. "Please, it'd be a great help to me."

Mrs. Sinderby took the book and carefully laid the spine down on the carpet. Her fingers manipulated the book so she could pinch the pages together and the covers on either side thudded softly onto the carpet. Slowly she released a few pages at a time so they fluttered down and the book opened according to its natural folds and bends. The process took a few minutes until it settled open on the approximate middle of the book.

But it was not the middle of the book either of them expected.

Anna blinked and reached a careful finger forward to drag down the page of handwritten scrawl. "I didn't think they printed books like this."

"They didn't." Mrs. Sinderby carefully consulted the front cover. "And this is not _Little Women_."

"I thought not." Anna squinted, "It's my great-grandmother's handwriting."

"If I had to guess," Mrs. Sinderby manipulated a few pages and nodded, "I'd say this was your great-grandmother's journal."

"That she re-covered with the binding to _Little Women_?"

"If you recall," Mrs. Sinderby selected another book, waiting until Anna nodded, and opened it in the same fashion to reveal a different pen but the same handwriting. "When your great-grandmother died, Lady Grange had all of her things burned. Thought they might carry a disease."

"And you thought that any of her personal effects were lost in the fire." Anna consulted the rest of the books, finding the same for all of them before noting numbers written carefully in the upright-hand corners of the cover pages. "She's numbered them. There's an order to them."

Between the two of them, they sorted the journals in order until Anna found the last one. She flicked through the pages and paused on the title page of it. "She's got a note here."

"What's it say?"

Anna swallowed, "I've come under the impression that my private thoughts are the subject of public inquiry. Specifically I fear Lady Grange is reading my journals and no matter the hiding place they are not safe from her pernicious and penetrating eyes. Therefore I've taken it on me to lay a false trail. I've spent many nights copying my earlier journals to leave concealed in these pages. If Lady Grange has already read them then let her be damned as seemeth her good for those actions. My journals now I hide in plain sight. I've a decoy I'll continue to conceal in sporadic locations throughout my room, to throw her off the scent, but these I'll put under the covers of my favorite books. Those loyal companions through thick and thin. My apologies to their authors for this grave miscarriage of justice but I'd rather lose their words than lose my soul."

Looking up at Mrs. Sinderby, Anna shrugged, "I guess they're not worth as much as we thought after all."

"But what a brilliant plan." Mrs. Sinderby almost caressed the delicate pages. "To leave them in plain sight for us. And then to leave the clues in that books. As if-"

"As if she hoped we'd find what she had to say." Anna let out a breath of air, "I hope you didn't have any plans."


	16. Saving Rose

_"_ _And now, how do you read this one?" Anna pushed the paper toward the girl and she dragged her finger along as she recited the letters carefully. "Good. And this picture, what can you read from this?"_

 _"_ _Three numbers," She counted them out and then pulled the book toward her to count the same numbers for the page, the line, and then the word. "It says 'bed'."_

 _"_ _Very good." Anna grinned at her, pausing as John entered the room. "Rose, why don't you go out and play with the other children? I think they'll want you on their cricket team."_

 _"_ _I can't bat well."_

 _"_ _Then you'll bowl it." Anna kissed her head, "Go on. I think your father needs to speak to me."_

 _"_ _Yes Mummy." She kissed Anna's cheek and raced for the door. Rose paused only a moment, taking John's kiss as she hugged tightly to his leg. A moment later she was darting out the door to join the children playing on the lawn._

 _"_ _So," Anna stood, closing the books and tucking the papers away. "What can I do for you today?"_

 _"_ _You're being very frosty."_

 _"_ _I am." Anna clasped her hands in front of her, pressing on her skirt. "Because if you haven't counted the birthdays I have and Rose turns four day after tomorrow and we're no closer to being her parents now than we were when you sent your horrible wife away."_

 _"_ _I'm sure you're not oblivious to what I've been doing for the last four years." John sighed, putting a hand to the back of his neck to rub there. "I've bad news."_

 _"_ _Which is?"_

 _Before John could answer the door to his side banged off the wall as Lady Grange pushed her way into the room. The leering grin on her face almost forced Anna back to the cowering woman she was once in the presence of this harpy but now Anna only rolled her shoulders back, flicked a glance at John, and addressed the woman. "Seems we didn't perform a strong enough exorcism to keep you away last time."_

 _"_ _You speak like you're the lady of the house here." Lady Grange held her hands in an echo of Anna's, forcing Anna to separate her hands to her side. "But I'm very aware that my husband is not free to be with you since he's still married to me. That means you're merely a pretender in my position."_

 _"_ _Not that you cared very much for the position." Anna sighed, "What do you want? Why are you here?"_

 _"_ _I'm here for what will give John the divorce he wants." Lady Grange smiled at her. "I'm here for Rose."_

 _"_ _What?" Anna turned to John, who only shook his head. "She wants Rose?"_

 _"_ _It's the final stipulation in our divorce." Lady Grange's leer deepened, exposing her canines as if they were fangs. "The entire town knows the girl to be mine. That means that if I'm to leave this house forever then I'll have to take my child with me. Since I've been denied all financial compensation for my years of suffering here."_

 _"_ _Suffer, you?" Anna shook her head and turned to John, "She can't possibly be serious about taking Rose. She's your daughter, your heir. No matter who her mother is, Rose is your daughter."_

 _"_ _The only truth in any of this." Lady Grange sighed, "I'll take one of the guest rooms while you sort this out with your… mistress."_

 _Anna waited until Lady Grange left before turning to John. "Are you even considering this? Are you serious about her ridiculous offer?"_

 _"_ _I can fight her on it but that'll only drag the divorce out longer." John held up his hands when Anna went to argue. "I'm not abandoning Rose to her. But I could find a deal with my solicitors to give us both custody of Rose. Eventually Rose'll choose for herself and she'll never choose Vera."_

 _"_ _Assuming, of course, that the woman doesn't corrupt her in the interim."_

 _"_ _She's not a demon."_

 _"_ _She's worse than that, John, because she's a conniving bitch trying to take away my child." Anna shook her head, "Nothing is worth losing Rose. Nothing."_

 _"_ _Not even us?"_

 _"_ _And risk Rose in her hands?" Anna jabbed her finger toward the door. "Why would we risk that? Why would you give her an inch after what she did to you?"_

 _"_ _Because she's threatened you." John's voice broke, raising slightly and sending Anna a step back in her surprise. "She's threatened to destroy you and Rose. If the truth gets out about Rose's conception then she's not my heir. She can't be because she's a bastard and-"_

 _"_ _I wish you wouldn't use that word."_

 _"_ _It's what they'll call her, Anna. Which is only marginally worse than what they'll call you when Vera's done with you." John sighed, "Dual custody until Rose is ten. Then she'll decide for herself if she wants to be with her 'mother'. At that point we could find reason to suggest supervised visits and some rights but fewer and fewer until Rose is completely free of her clutches."_

 _"_ _And we have to reverse the damage done?"_

 _"_ _Perhaps but," John crossed the room and took Anna's hands. "In the meantime we could marry. You'd be the new Lady Grange and Rose would finally know the truth… If she's not already figured it out."_

 _"_ _She is smart."_

 _"_ _She's your child." John smiled and Anna smiled with him. "This could be our only chance, Anna. To save ourselves and her from Vera."_

 _"_ _And you'd sacrifice your daughter on the altar of our desires?"_

 _"_ _I'd give the shirt off my back to get Vera off it." John's fingers curled and he let out a huffing breath. "This could be the only way to save all of us."_

 _"_ _And what about Rose?"_

 _"_ _She's strong, Anna." John reached for Anna's hand and she allowed him to take them. "She'll survive this. We all will, I promise. We've come this far to turn back now and to fail…"_

 _Anna went to say something but could only sigh and nod. John tugged her toward him and embraced her, holding close until their hearts beat in sync. After a moment he released her, the two of them keeping their hands together so their fingers could continue to intertwine, and let a few beats pass._

 _"_ _I wish I could kiss you now."_

 _"_ _I wish we kissed more often." Anna nodded and took her hands back. "You go on. I'm sure you've a solicitor who needs to pick up his feet at your invitation."_

 _"_ _Quite right." John kissed the back of Anna's hand before leaving the room._

 _She walked back to the table where her books and papers still sat, her fingers moving over them as she glanced out the window to see Rose playing with the other children. Gathering up her supplies, Anna stored them away in her bag before she heard a cry from outside. Her hip bumped the table hard as she faced the window to see Rose screeching away from Lady Grange._

 _Anna almost hit the door in her skid as she ran out of the library and into the hall. The expressions on the faces of the servants only took a moment of her thoughts before she burst through the front doors, her skirts gripped tightly in white-knuckled fingers as she ran. Lady Grange tugged on Rose's hand, shooing away the nurses and nannies arguing with her, but Anna barreled into the woman and snatched Rose from her grip._

 _Holding the girl close to her chest, Anna backed away from Lady Grange as John ran out to join them. Lady Grange took a step toward Anna but John intercepted her, his hands settling on the woman's shoulders, and pushed her away. "What the hell are you playing at?"_

 _"_ _I'm just getting the girl used to her future." Lady Grange pointed at Rose as the girl sniffled and cried over Anna's blouse and Anna combed at her hair. "She'll be in my custody soon."_

 _"_ _Only if we agreed and not after you've just tried to take her right in front of me." John pushed Lady Grange away. "Do you think you'll get her after you've done that? After you've tried to snatch her like a thief in the night?"_

 _"_ _It's broad daylight." Lady Grange spat at him and then straightened. "But if I'm supposed to speak to my child when I'm under supervision, then I guess I'll just have to wait until it's convenient for you to accompany her… Or me, since I'm the one who frightens you more."_

 _"_ _Go to whatever room you chose, Vera, and stay there or I'll toss you to the village, make you stay there."_

 _Lady Grange only huffed and turned to go back inside the house., leaving them all alone. John turned to the nurses and nannies, directing them to take the children to their lessons and studies, leaving him alone with Anna. She still held tightly to Rose but the girl had calmed in her arms, the rocking motions leaving her dozing on Anna's shoulder. They stared at one another but when John attempted to move toward Anna she backed away._

 _"_ _Anna-"_

 _"_ _You let that woman back into your house and her first action was to try and take Rose away."_

 _"_ _She's-"_

 _"_ _I don't care what she's told you or what she claims. She's here to ruin you, again, and you're going to let her." Anna shook her head and turned back to the house. "I won't let that happen."_

 _"_ _Anna-"_

 _She ignored him and took Rose to her room, hiding there until the nannies came looking for the girl. With all the reluctant effort she could manage, Anna allowed them to take Rose to her room but it only meant that she waited outside the door to the nursery until the small hours. Her eyes itched and teared, her fingers brushing at the tears but not answering the need to salve the pain, until she could only blink past the urge to doze in place on the bench near the balcony overlooking the entry hall._

 _When she woke herself from the third doze, Anna pushed herself to her feet and went back to her room. The room where she paced between writing scattered phrases across the two journals on her desk. Her habit since Lady Grange read her journals so long ago that kept her occupied when her mind refused to let her sleep. Journals that now read like the ravings of a mad person in her anxiety and fear as the hours crept toward dawn._

 _She left her room, pacing the house and ignoring the servants cleaning the fireplaces and dusting the places hard to reach during the day, and went to the library. Her work from earlier, her ciphers and training papers all stored away in her bag, called to her and Anna took out the work to spread over the table again. But they offered her nothing helpful and soon she could only toss down her pen in disgust._

 _Gray light sparked on the horizon and Anna rubbed at her eyes as she forced herself to pace the library to stop herself falling asleep again. She walked along the bookshelves and the small desks in the library before she caught sight of John's desk. The lid caught and she moved to close it but it bounced off something on the surface and Anna forced the lid up to remove the obstruction._

 _There, wrapped with a bow, was a book of fairy tales. The same book of fairy tales that John mentioned so long ago. The one with a companion volume somewhere in the library. Anna brushed her fingers over the cover and noted the card tucked inside the bow. The card she opened to read John's note to their daughter._

My father bought two versions of this book. One he gave to me when I was ten. The same version I'm giving to you now. I was supposed to give you the other version, it was for my heir, but I couldn't bring myself to. Not when I could pass down this one with all the memories inside it. All the memories of the times my father read aloud to me the moments we shared because of it. I look forward to reading it to you. And, maybe, one day you'll read it to your children.

 _Anna went to tuck the card back into the bow but stopped herself. She unwrapped the bow and took the book over to the table. She sketched out her thoughts, the ciphers she wanted and worked them and reworked them until she could hear the distant sounds of the servants of the house waking. She worked quickly, opening the book and finally putting her pen carefully to those pages. Pages she manipulated until they dried under the work of her pen until they said what she wanted them to say._

 _She then took her pen to paper and wrote and rewrote her letter six times, tossing the scraps into the smoldering fire before taking the pen knife on John's desk to the cover page of the book. She slit a small hole in it and folded the letter to tuck it carefully in the binding before sealing it back with glue from John's desk. Moving the cover up and down to dry the glue, Anna hid the evidence of her work and retied the bow on the book before concealing it back on John's desk. Leaving it as if she touched nothing and nothing happened in the library at all._

 _The rest of her things she packed away, returning to her room to conceal her real journals with the rest of her fake books while tucking her false journal beneath her mattress. The mattress that hardly depressed before her eyes closed and deep sleep wrapped her in its comforting folds. The folds that left her bleary and only half-awake when she finally woke, late in the day._

 _John gave her an odd look when they shared lunch but Anna ignored him. Ignored the arguments between John and his solicitor and Lady Grange. Ignored everything but her focus on Rose playing with the other children. On the smile she wore as she did until Anna could not help to smile herself._

 _The others in the house slowly drifted off to bed after an even more awkward dinner and Anna waited until the house was silent. Waited until there were no sounds but her footsteps on the carpet as she crossed the corridors to John's room. She did not even knock the door as she entered but John sat up from his bed when she closed it with a soft click._

 _"_ _Anna? What-"_

 _She was by his side of the bed in a moment and had her finger over his lips to stop him speaking. He moved his lips as if to speak again but Anna shook her head. John stilled and lay back as Anna climbed onto the bed and straddled his waist._

 _"_ _Don't make a sound." She whispered in his ear as she leaned down over him before kissing over his jaw to his lips. "No one can know."_

 _John only nodded and then followed her lead._

 _Followed as she crossed her arms to her hips and lifted her nightdress over her head. Followed when she tugged at his nightshirt and pants until they were skin to skin. Followed when she kissed her path down his chest to leave him groaning and biting into the pillows around his head as she exercised the tricks he taught her so long ago to leave him writhing and bucking under her. Followed when she left one last lick of her tongue over the swollen, scorching length of him before sheathing John with a single stroke of her already swelteringly soaked walls._

 _She rode him. Not quite like the ponies they put Rose on but close enough. Her knees dug into the mattress and formed divots in the sheets to fight the cling of John's fingers as they tugged at them until he gripped her hips hard enough to bruise. Hard enough to stop her mind wandering when Anna took a moment to realize what she was doing. The seduction that hid the great lie that would be her next act._

 _Their ends were primal and carnal but lifeless. Anna climaxed with John, her body seeking a release it thought it could attain through physical means, but the emptiness in her soul continued. Kept her awake and tracing John's face as he fell asleep with her. And it was what had her kissing him away when the clock struck only a few times in the small hours of the morning._

 _John responded, keeping to their silent promise, and moved over her. His mouth traced those places on her that Anna tempted him with earlier. Those placed that left her grasping desperately at his hair and holding herself closer to him until his shoulders separated her legs so his mouth could settle over where she still bore the damp signs of their earlier joining… And her current arousal mixed over his tongue._

 _Anna muffled her moans and only clenched harder over his fingers when John murmured the words she first heard so long ago against her skin. "You're so wet Anna. I've missed how you taste."_

 _Her fingers left permanent scars on his scalp as he brought her over the edge with all the finesse of a painter taking his time to leave a gorgeous landscape behind. And when he moved over her, John kept their motions slow. Even when Anna tried to rush them, to avoid having to look in his eyes, tried to escape the lie she knew she told him with every response of her body to his, John kept them slow. Kept them moving at the beat of the clock in the corner until Anna could no longer bear it and climaxed again. Climaxed and urged John with her._

 _He took longer to fall asleep this time but eventually Anna won out and stole away as silently as she arrived. Stole away to wash herself and try to hide the tears under the streams of water she used to take away the scent of John on her skin. The only traces of him she could ever keep with her washed away to leave her smelling faintly of rose water and a hint of lavender. A scent that brought more tears to her eyes but Anna hurried to brush them away before gathering her things._

 _The library was mercifully as empty as the night before and Anna slotted the book into her bag before escaping to the nursery. One of the nannies almost stirred but Anna shook her head and the woman fell back into a sleep. One deep enough that she did not hear Anna rummaging in the drawers for Rose's things to pack carefully into a small case her little hands could hold._

 _Rose's bed was far enough away from the other children and Anna roused her with a kiss to her curls and helped the sleepy girl still rubbing the crust from her eyes into her clothes before taking her from the room. They walked carefully through the halls and snuck out through a servant's entrance to walk the length of the drive to the main road. A road where they hailed one of the early morning cabs to the station._

 _Anna stroked Rose's curls as the girl fell back asleep, draped over Anna's lap. The driver snuck peeks back at them and Anna's breath caught in her chest. She recognized the interrogative expression of someone trying to place a face they knew and took a deep breath before paying the driver at the station. But even as she lifted Rose from the cab and left for the platform, she saw the driver moving to the phone deck to place a call._

 _The train waiting gushed steam and Anna noted the early morning post hurrying to load onto the train. She walked past the carriages and found one of the cars already packed fully with mail bags and generally ignored by the rest of the workers. Risking a look, Anna stepped into the car and snuggled Rose between a few of the large bags to keep her in place and asleep. The girl only grumbled a few words before breathing deeply._

 _Blinking at her tears, Anna kissed her head and left the little case and the book next to her. Her fingers took another run through the blonde curls as she whispered to the girl, too afraid to speak and wake her. If she woke then Anna could never leave her here. Could never walk away like she needed to._

 _"_ _Your mother loves you so much Rose. So much. Never forget that." Her eyes caught the date and she smiled, "Happy birthday darling. It's your fourth birthday today and you're going to be an amazing woman one day."_

 _Anna's fingers graced the cover of the book. "I've left it all in here darling. Everything. You'll find it, like you always did in our games. You'll come back to me when you're ready and we'll be together. I promise we will be. One day, when you're older, you'll find me and we'll be happy together then. I promise we will be."_

 _Risking a last kiss to the girl's head, Anna snuck back out of the carriage and held her bag to her shoulder. She noted the cab driver speaking to a constable and hurried to the other side of the platform. A constable, paying her no mind, stood there and Anna forced herself to walk slowly past him and toward the queue of cabs gathering in the early morning._

 _But a hand landed on her shoulder and Anna turned with the motion to see the constable. "Ma'am, I'll have to ask you to come with me."_

 _"_ _What seems to be the problem?" Anna tried to keep her voice level but her gaze got distracted at the sight of another car driving up. The whistle of the engine blew as the doors opened and Anna prayed the train would be away before they could reach her. And decided the train was taking too long._

 _She escaped the hold of the constable and held to her bag, running as fast as she could in her skirts toward town. The constables called after her but Anna kept running. Running as she listened for the train to start, the grind of the wheels spurring her forward until one of the constables caught her arm. She tried to fight him, delay them long enough for the train to get away, distract them with her so it would be too late. So they would never find Rose._

 _The constable wrestled with her until his fellow joined them to grab Anna's other arm. She thrashed in their grip until she noted the person who emerged from the car. Lady Grange approached her, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed until Anna spit at her. Then her eyebrows rose and she turned to the constables._

 _"_ _As I said, she's deranged. It's why my husband, kind soul that he is, has kept her on so long at the house. It's why I left for so long, she's tried to attack me before you know. Tried to… Tried to set the house on fire, if you believe it."_

 _"_ _Liar." Anna hissed at her, catching sight of the departing steam of the train as it gathered speed. "You're a snake."_

 _"_ _Poor thing." Lady Grange clicked her tongue against her teeth before waving someone over. "But we'll take her back to the house. Make sure she's well taken care of there until she's better."_

 _"_ _Does her kind get better milady?"_

 _"_ _We can only hope the grace of God will shine on her and cure her illness." Lady Grange stepped close to Anna, their noses almost touching. "I'm sure you'll want to get better, won't you? For the children, you understand."_

 _Anna launched herself at Lady Grange. The constables, lulled for a moment, lost their grip and Anna landed firmly on Lady Grange. Her arms wrapped around the woman's midriff and bore her to the ground. Her legs straddled Lady Grange's waist and her fists flew in a flurry to strike at any part of the woman she could reach. To drive her fists deep enough to scar bone if she could. And all the while she screamed nonsense and nothings, crying out like a wounded animal as years of anger and rage and sorrow and despair bore out in minutes._

 _When the constables finally dragged Anna back, Lady Grange was a mess of bruises, cuts, scratches, and blood. Her skin already molted and purpled as it swelled and Anna only had a moment to glory in the sight before a baton beat at her midriff. It drove her to her knees before the strikes against her back, arms, shoulders, and even the side of her head left her on the ground in a daze that finally ended when a final strike left her unconscious._


	17. In the Name of Love

Anna pushed away the last of the journals, rubbing at her eyes. "Okay, so she's not complete crackers but the whole town bought the idea she was mad as a hatter so no one came to help."

"It's hard to convince people you're not crackers when you've gone and beaten the Lady of the County to the ground outside a train station." Mrs. Sinderby held up the article with the title ' _Deranged Hysteric Plummets to Her Death_ '. "This makes far more sense now."

"It's a wonder they didn't print about the incident at the train station." Anna sighed and pulled the other notice forward, "And it explains why no one thought about this advertisement in Melbourne."

"Which one?" Anna passed over the one Mr. Moseley gave to her when she first arrived in Snowy River. "Ah, yes, _Child found. Roughly four years of age and recovered from the train to Melbourne from Snowy River at five a.m. October fifth. All she carried was a book of fairytales and nothing else. Answers to the name 'Lily' as, when asked, she claimed her name was that of a flower. No other information provided, photograph to follow._ "

"It's my grandmother." Anna tapped the paper. "That's her adopted family."

"And you say they migrated to England during the war?"

Anna nodded and then motioned toward the journals hidden behind the covers of classic literature. "Which begs the question, why didn't my grandmother find these years ago?"

"The journals?"

"And the ciphers in the book." Anna shrugged, "She knew how to solve them, because her mother taught her, so how did she not find them? And she had this for years. It was right in front of her and she missed it… How?"

"Could it be because she was four?"

"But once she got older…" Anna sighed, "I don't know. I just feel like she should've seen it when she read the book later."

"Maybe she did and didn't want to put it together," Mrs. Sinderby shrugged, "Who knows. She might not've even noticed they were there since she never found the letter. She never had a reason to look more closely."

"But she knew about those ciphers. Her mother trained her."

"She was barely four and without a little prodding I doubt she could've done simple maths much less followed these ciphers without help." Mrs. Sinderby sighed, "It's the true crime of this rather diabolical plan that she didn't account for the fact her daughter was still a child and too young to grasp any of it."

"Makes you wonder why she put so much faith in her."

"We all tend to trust our children and put a lot of faith in them."

"Fair." Anna chewed the inside of her cheek. "But it does make you wonder if the Lady Grange didn't shove Anna Smith off that roof in recompense for what she did to her. That kind of public thrashing would've been hard to forget.""

"Maybe she wanted to but Lord Grange stopped her."

"When he didn't stop her doing anything else?"

"We've all got our limits."

"I'm still struggling to see where his limits could possibly have been." Anna groaned, "Why that man ever bowed to the wishes of his demonic wife is beyond me and possibly a matter for a priest."

"I don't think it was ever as simple or easy as just letting his wife walk over him." Mrs. Sinderby gestured to the library around them, "There's plenty of motive here to present a stable and organized front, even if he knew he made a bad decision with his marriage."

Anna crossed her arms over her chest and sat back in her chair with a sigh. "This whole thing reeks."

"Sometimes marriage reeks."

"So…" Anna chewed the inside of her cheek, "Is this the moment where you make a confession about your marriage?"

"You've already heard my confession but, yes." Mrs. Sinderby crossed her hands over one another on the table. "Women aren't as stupid as men think they are. We know where something's wrong and nine times out of ten we're right when we believe our husbands are cheating on us, no matter how gaslit we are."

"But?"

"But we want to believe the best in people. We're willing to accept the gaslighting because we don't want to be right. We don't want to think the worst. And, from personal experience, I believe that Lord Grange was in a similar bind."

"Even when his wife was, without doubt, psychotic?"

"How many domestic disturbances have you handled in your career?"

"More than I wanted to."

"And, in your experience, what makes them so difficult?"

Anna rolled her eyes, "The fact that even if the injured party called the police, by the time the police arrive they've taken back their story and they don't want you to arrest their significant other. They'll even hurt you to try and stop the arrest."

"So, in your experience, it's possible that Lord Grange, despite the truths he knew about his wife, might've bowed to the pressure of her influence for no other reason than appeasement?"

"I've always believed that Lord Churchill was right in his assessment that you should never negotiate with a tiger when your head is in its mouth."

"I don't think we've always got that luxury." Mrs. Sinderby checked her watch, "Unfortunately, I've got to go. David'll be done with football in half an hour and he's got his piano lesson tonight."

"I don't know if I'm ready to go yet." Anna flexed her jaw, "Would you mind if I stay? Take another round about the house to clear my head?"

"Since it's possible you're the owner of this whole place anyway-"

"I wish we'd all stop assuming that." Anna stood up from her chair, handing Mrs. Sinderby her things.

"Even so," Mrs. Sinderby arranged her jacket, "I think it'll be alright. I'll assume Mr. Bates is coming to retrieve you?"

"Yes. He's got some things to finish in town and then he'll be by."

"That's good of him."

"He's a good man."

Mrs. Sinderby bit her lip, "It's not my place to say…"

"But I've a feeling you've got something on the tip of your tongue that you'd like to get off your chest." Anna rolled her shoulders back, taking a deep breath, "What is it?"

"I think you two make a remarkably well-suited couple." Mrs. Sinderby checked over her things before nodding at Anna. "And I do hope whatever you two are creating together will work in whatever direction you hope it takes."

Anna frowned and then nodded, "I'll keep that in mind."

She waved Mrs. Sinderby off and wandered around the entry hall of the house. Interlacing her fingers at the back of her neck, Anna pulled herself into a crouch and groaned. After a second she released her fingers and let her arms flap outward before ascending the stairs toward the room her great-grandmother occupied. A room she did not enter but leaned on the doorframe.

"Why keep you here?" Anna chewed on the inside of her cheek, "Why bother with you after all that?"

A breath ran by Anna's ear and she turned, expecting to see John, but saw nothing. Her brow furrowed and she rubbed at the spot on her neck before pivoting to try and follow the sensation. She turned back to the room and felt the breath again, jumping and giving a grunt.

"Okay, this isn't funny in an old, drafty house where I'm the only one around." She grimaced and crossed into the room, spreading her hands. "I'm here now so please stop blowing on my neck. It's weird."

Anna crossed into the room, the empty feeling striking harder with the deserted bookcase. She crouched before it, blowing out a long stream of air as she let her arms flop over her knees. "How'd no one find you?"

A slight creak had Anna twist slightly and then topple over as another brush of air wafted past her. "What the HELL?"

She got to her feet, rubbing at her side, and turned a slow circle on the rug. The waft of air continued and Anna frowned as she opened her hand to try and follow the stream of air. A stream she traced to the bookcase.

"I've fallen into a period piece." Anna let her fingers slowly trace over the bookcase until she found the waft of air. "Of course."

She snuck her fingers into the space between the wall and bookcase, carefully maneuvering over the rug, and heaved the piece back. "Bugger that's heavy."

Dropping the heavy piece just far enough to reach her hand back behind the bookshelf, Anna squirmed and cringed when she met a spider's web. "Oh gross."

Withdrawing her hand, wiping it carefully behind her knee to pull the web from her fingers, Anna dug her phone from her pocket. She flipped the flashlight on squinted to try and discern the over the shadows and sharp white light. There, fluttering enough to disturb the light, was a corner of the wallpaper. A corner of paper that Anna tugged, after adjusting her position to reach for it, to bring it farther from the wall. Enough to expose a hole in the wall.

"I did that once." Anna screeched out, dropping her phone to see John on the other end of the bookcase. "It was my elbow and a friend of mine had thrown a rugby ball to me but I did put a hole in the wall."

"Sweet Christmas did you not knock?" Anna grabbed her phone, flicking off the light, and tucked it back into her pocket. "Scared me to death."

"Figured that." John pointed to the hole, "How'd you find that?"

"I thought a ghost was blowing on my neck." Anna shrugged at John's frown. "Don't ask, it doesn't make any sense."

"I once read this book about this house in the American south that was haunted by these star-crossed lovers."

"You like romance?" Anna reached her hand into the hole and struggled for a second before sighing and moving back. "I didn't see that coming."

"You don't think I'm romantic?" John grabbed the bookcase and tugged it in rotating shifts until he gave enough space for Anna to get her whole body into the space and better tug on the wall paper to better expose the hole. "I think I'm very romantic. I planned an entire weekend in the bush for us."

"And I greatly enjoyed that." Anna winked at him, "But I didn't think it was the kind of literature you'd read. Seems a little… I don't know, juvenile."

"Juvenile?"

"You seem like the kind that reads old poetry and very big books like biographies and the histories of intense events." Anna reached her hand into the space and finally pulled out two more books. "F this."

"What?"

Anna held up the books for him to see. "I never realized exactly how wordy my great-grandmother was."

"What, you thought her journals were boring?"

"No, I thought they were definitely lacking in detail after she put her daughter on that train and beat the shit out of Lady Grange." Anna untangled herself from the space and bit her lip. "Think Mrs. Sinderby'll forgive me tugging on the wallpaper and leaving a hole?"

"Since you didn't make it, I'll bet she'll like the excuse to redo this room the way we've redone some of the others." John held out a hand and Anna handed over the journals. "Her handwriting changed."

"Because she was crackers now?" Anna leaned on the bookcase.

"Maybe," John flicked through some of the pages. "She's convinced that Lady Grange was poisoning her."

"I wouldn't put it past that woman. She's the worst." Anna pushed herself to stand straighter. "Are we going to read it together?"

"I was actually going to propose dinner." John closed the books, "But I'm open to other possible options as long as they end with you satisfied."

"You truly are perfect, aren't you?" Anna sighed, nodding toward the bookshelf so they could move it back to the wall together. "Mrs. Sinderby, by the way, thinks we'd be a great couple."

"How kind of her." John shrugged, "I'd agree but you've got a plane ticket taking you back to England in two weeks so I don't know how convenient that is."

"I've already told you that there's Skype for that."

"I didn't say it wasn't possible, I just said it wasn't convenient." John dusted off his hands before pointing toward the wall. "Anything else back there?"

"I don't know, the wind ghost blowing creepily on my neck only showed me the one hole and I didn't exactly reach all the way to the back."

"Afraid something would cut off your hand?"

"I don't like spiders."

"Nobody likes spiders." John tapped on the top of the bookcase, "Do you still want dinner?"

"I didn't know you'd extended that as a question before."

"Okay," John cleared his throat, "Do you want dinner?"

"Will it be in the basement of this house again?"

"I was actually going to try to fatten you up at Mrs. Patmore's again."

"How daring of you." Anna narrowed her eyes, "Will I need to book an additional seat back to England because you've made me unable to fit into just one of those disgustingly small spaces?"

"Maybe." John winked, "Or it's my desire to keep you here while you try to work all the weight off and I try to keep fattening you up and it all just cycles in a continuing run-around until you just stay here forever."

"Oh goodness, what would I ever do?" Anna slapped her hands to her cheeks before snickering at him before retrieving the two journals. "I'm taking these downstairs. Whatever you decide to do, that's your choice."

"You always make it seem so ridiculously difficult to woo you."

"Oh please," Anna called behind her as she took the journals back to the table. "I think I make it interesting that you-"

Anna barely turned before John was there, his hands on the table caging her in place. "Oh goodness. What will I ever do?"

"I'm pretty sure you could break my fingers to get away but…" John leaned forward to whisper in Anna's ear. "I very much doubt you will."

"Please don't whisper in my ear."

John paused, "Why?"

"It's a little too…" Anna shivered, "A little too ghosty… If you get it."

"I get it." John drew back a little, a smile edging over his face. "I just hope you'll let me take you on this table."

"Oh?" Anna's eyebrows raised and she eyed John before scooting the contents of the table over before perching on the edge. "Will you be telling Mrs. Sinderby, or will I? Because if we do this then…"

"Then?" John took the place between Anna's legs as she leaned back onto her hands. "I'll assume you're not leaving that sentence hanging because it's cute."

"No," Anna shook her head, "I'm saying that if we do this, we'll have to clean up after ourselves."

"Very responsible." John paused, "We could go somewhere else in the house, if that would make you feel better."

"I like the table just fine." Anna looped her arms around his neck. "I was just making a point about other people using this table."

"I know where we keep the rags." John's hands moved down Anna's sides to settle just firmly enough on her hips to drag her forward so he could grind against her. "If you're still willing."

"Absolutely." Anna's hands moved to John's cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. Her lips tugged at his before running her tongue around the inside of his mouth. When he groaned Anna pulled back, licking over her lips. "You're one of the best kissers I've ever had the pleasure of snogging."

"Compliments so early?" John's fingers edged under Anna's shirt, running along the line of her trousers before one hand skated higher and the other one lower. "I've not even given you dinner."

"I'll survive." Anna tried to dot kisses over John's jaw but he snaked out of her reach and worked on kissing over her neck. "Damn."

"It gets better." He practically purred into her skin and Anna's head went back as John's fingers opened her jeans enough to get his fingers running over her knickers to feel out her clit. "Much better."

"Now you're just teasing."

"We could do this all in silence, if you wanted."

"What an idea." Anna grinned at John as he raised his head to watch her in time with the strokes of his fingers. She quivered, her legs trying to tighten around John's waist but failing to hold herself in place. "Maybe next time."

She brought their lips together again, pulling her legs away from John's hips to toe off her shoes and try to shake off her jeans. John's fingers curled into the cuffs and tugged them down as Anna crossed her arms over her chest to leave her shirt on the table next to them. And with John occupied trying to get her jeans off the tucks of her ankles, Anna managed to reach forward far enough to unbuckle his belt and whip it from his loops.

Part of the leather snapped back and flicked John on the arm as he rose up again but Anna's cringe only met with John pulling his shirt over his head as well. Her fingers soon occupied themselves with running over his chest and digging into his bare shoulders to bring his lips back to hers. John, not wanting to be left behind, quickly followed suit by running his hands over Anna's bare legs and up toward her breasts, still encased in her bra.

Their eyes met and Anna sat forward enough for John to unclasp it at the back so she could shake her arms out of it. And John hardly gave her a moment to leave it thumping on the tabletop before he buried his face between them and started a ferocious trail of kisses over and around her breasts. It was all Anna could do to keep a hold on him while trying to struggle with his trousers. They caught on her feet and she pushed them down until the only thing separating them was the layer of underwear between them.

John's kisses persisted at Anna's breasts and she reveled in it, digging her fingers into John's hair to keep him close as she shifted her body. The shuffle to the end of the table had John bent over her so Anna's hand could sneak between them, Far enough to tug his boxers down so she could touch him.

They bucked together as John's hips seized forward and Anna winced at the hard thud of John's thighs against the wood of the table. A thud that had his face screwing up as he pulled back from her now red breasts. Anna's fingers paused, moving away from holding his arousal, and waited until opened his watering eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He nodded, hissing through his teeth. "No one ever tells you about how unromantic the mechanics of all this is."

"We started this talking about rags and cleaning up after ourselves."

"We're adults now." John gave a final wince before straightening slightly. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"That position can't be too kind on your ass."

"I'd worry about something other than my ass at the moment." Anna let one of her hands smooth slowly over John's back, following the ripple of his involuntary shiver until she dug her nails into the flesh of his ass. "Like your own."

"You're playing with fire there."

"Am I?" Anna taunted, her other hand moving back over John's erection to stroke and squeeze until his eyes shut so hard the crinkle lines around them deepened to shadows. "Somehow I don't feel too intimidated."

"No?" John did not wait for her response as he tugged back out of her grip. For a second Anna was sure he would fall as his ankles caught in his trousers but John only slid back to tug her knickers out of the way and move his head into the open space. A space where he immediately set to licking and sucking over her until Anna's back arched on the table and she bruised her shoulders with how hard she came down from her climax.

She did not allow John to wear his self-satisfied smirk for long as she dragged him forward to kiss him. A kiss that had her ankles locking below his ass as she angled her hips to rub her now sodden folds over his achingly hard arousal. John moaned into Anna's mouth, one of his hands moving to the back of her neck to better follow the kiss, and slipped easily forward to thrust into her.

The unforgiving surface of the table offered no reprieve and, as much as Anna might deny it later, did indeed bruise her ass. But with each drive of John's hips to meet hers, the grinding motions timed perfectly with the clinging clutch of her vaginal walls around him, the depth of his kisses at her mouth and then over her breasts, left Anna rising higher toward another climax. She shifted and shunted, trying to pull John deeper, and dug her nails into his shoulders and scalp when he finally reached the place that dangled her right on the edge of pleasure. Pleasure they found together when his fingers excited her clit and she tightened around him on instinct to signal their mutual release.

They sagged together, Anna letting herself fall back to the hard table and wince at the merciless surface. "Maybe the table wasn't the best idea."

"Back of a sofa, much better." John agreed, nodding against her abdomen. He pressed a kiss there before straightening and grabbing for the tissue box to wipe perfunctorily over them. "If you give me a minute, I'll be back with something a little more dignified."

"If that's you offering to let me watch your naked ass skulk out that door for a rag," Anna raised herself onto her forearms, still shaking slightly as her body quivered and twitched. "Then by all means, please do."

John only shook his head at her, pulling up his boxers and trousers before leaving the room. Anna went to lay back, carefully adjusting her position so she did not put strain on her aching ass and the inevitable crick in her back, and stared at the ceiling until a little more strength returned to her limbs. Enough to grab for her bra and barely stop one of the journals falling off the edge of the table when it caught in the cup.

Anna hurried to adjust her hold on it, flipping the book onto the table as she got herself back into her bra. The journal opened to the middle and Anna noted the blank pages staring back at her. Pages that were mostly blank for three-quarters of the book until she managed to get back toward the beginning.

The beginning where she saw the last entry dated October third, nineteen-thirty-two. Almost a year to the day after her grandmother was put on the train to Melbourne. And the day before the first Anna Smith died.

* * *

 _She paced her room in the nightgown that itched and caught. Tugging at it again, she hissed in frustrated before going to pull it over her head. In a second the door was open and two men dressed in white uniforms were on her, forcing the nightgown back in place and holding her still as one of them pressed the metal end of the needle into her arm. The mark joined the others dotting her skin in a mottling pattern from where her blood vessels burst from overuse._

 _Her skin, pale and gaunt to match the discoloration of blue and purple, beaded in sweat and she tried to struggle against them but her vision hazed. The room spun and she sagged in the arms of the men before the soft comfort of soft pillows and a downy mattress greeted her. Softness that suffocated her as darkness blanketed her, dragging her deeper and deeper._

 _All she could remember, all she scratched out in the journals she hid in the hole she broke in the wall during a lightning storm, was the train. Leaving her little girl on the train and watching it chug away with the only person she loved on it. The only person who ever truly loved her back on it._

 _Anna opened her eyes, blinking against the glare of the sunlight finally let into the room as someone forced the shades open. She tried to sit up but her limbs wobbled and failed her, leaving her in a rumpled heap on the bed. One that roused the other person in the room and forced Anna to try and burrow deeper into her mattress._

 _"_ _Anna, it's me." John reached for her hand but Anna snatched it away, shaking her head. "I don't know if you don't recognize me but-"_

 _"_ _How could I not recognize the man who did this to me?" Anna hissed at him, pulling her knees up to protect her chest while wrapping her arms around them for good measure. "You're the one keeping me here."_

 _"_ _I'm…" John raised a hand, his fingers curling to his palm in a fist. "You attacked Vera. You beat her almost to death in front of the constable. The only way to keep you from prison was to keep you here."_

 _"_ _Like this?" Anna gestured to herself, to the nightgown, and forced the sleeves up to show him her arms. "They've started giving me whatever horrible concoction is in those needles in my hand because they've ruined the veins in my arms you know."_

 _"_ _Anna-"_

 _"_ _You don't get to placate me!" Anna almost fell out of the bed trying to get away from John's outstretched hand. "You don't get to tell me it's all alright. That you're going to make everything better. Not after you've lied to me for so long and left me to her. Left me like this."_

 _"_ _It wouldn't be like this is you'd just told her what you did with Rose."_

 _"_ _So she could take her away from me?" Anna slapped her hand against her chest and noted the door to her room opened a crack. "So she could steal my child?"_

 _"_ _You stole our child!" John jabbed his finger at Anna. "You took my daughter."_

 _"_ _To keep her safe from that woman you kept allowing back into our lives." Anna shrieked back, tears coming to her eyes and escaping the furious brush of her hand. "To keep her form growing up in a house where that woman tried to convince her that she was her mother. Rose deserved better than that."_

 _"_ _She deserves a home, Anna." John rounded the bed and Anna edged away, a few steps closer to the door. "Deserved a home, if she's even still alive after what you did. Have you thought about that Anna? Have you thought about how you might've killed our daughter?"_

 _"_ _You killed our daughter the day you told me you loved me." Anna shook her head, "And even if you keep me in this room for another year or ten or until the day I die, I'll never tell you where she is."_

 _"_ _Stubborn bitch, isn't she?" Anna turned her head as Lady Grange entered the room, the white scars from the injuries Anna let on her face catching the harsh, early autumn light. "Makes me wonder why I ever let you bed her."_

 _"_ _If I'm such trouble, why not let me go?" Anna put her hands to the wall, sneaking small steps toward the door Lady Grange left wide open._

 _"_ _After we went to the trouble of convincing the town you're a mentally unstable nutter that we're keeping here for your own safety?" Lady Grange snorted, "It'd be as bad for you out there now as it was when everyone knew you as a slut."_

 _"_ _Vera!" John tried to bark her down but Anna only scoffed._

 _"_ _A slut at your invitation, Lady Grange, and at least I was monogamous with my paramour." Anna gave John a filthy look. "Not that he was true to me, in the end. But I'd think you'd know all about that when your legs spread so easily for whatever pretty words anyone deigns to throw your way."_

 _"_ _You-" Lady Grange came toward Anna but she met the base end of the lamp sitting on the table near the door._

 _Anna kept her grip on it as John moved forward to help Lady Grange as she pressed a palm to her already bleeding forehead. Her screech brought in the orderlies but Anna wielded the lamp like a cricketer's bat, catching one across the jaw and the other between the legs. They tangled together and she dashed from the room with the calls of John's voice trailing after her._

 _But the stairs were blocked by servants and Anna fled to the servants' stairs. Noises from below forced her up, her bare feet slipping on the slick surface and her breath coming in huffs as she ascended higher. Higher toward the roof where she might find another form of escape._

 _The door banged off the brickwork but Anna was out of the way before it swung back into place. She slipped on the roof, moving around the tiles and along the raised turrets to find another way off. Seeking another exit that would allow her to escape the confines of the house that served as her prison._

 _"_ _Anna!" She turned, almost slipping again and holding onto the side of a raised balustrade to keep herself standing as John appeared. He held up his hands, "I'm not here to hurt you."_

 _"_ _I wish I could believe that." Anna sniffed, noting the return of her tears. Or the continuation of them, as her chin practically dripped and the collar of her nightgown was soaked. Perhaps with sweat, she did not care to tell the difference. "But you've hurt me so much already John."_

 _"_ _I promise that Lady Grange is fine." John took a step toward her but Anna backed away and John stopped, the widening of his eyes forcing Anna to evaluate her position, so close to the edge of the building. "Nothing'll happen to you."_

 _"_ _After all that's happened to me, after all the damage we've caused, do you really think I give two flying fecks if Lady Grange is fine?" Anna almost laughed at the absurdity of it. "For all the ways and times you claimed to love me, to want me, to choose me, you always choose her. You run back to her like a beaten dog with your tail between your legs and you let her ruin our lives. You, John, and no one else."_

 _Anna sobbed it out, holding more tightly to the side of the building and stepping closer to the edge when John risked another step toward her. "You're the one who said we could love one another. Who said it would all be alright. Who let me bear your bastard. Who let her call it hers. Who let her come back into our lives after you swore we'd be together."_

 _"_ _I've made mistakes Anna but that's no reason to take Rose from me."_

 _"_ _I sent Rose to where she'd be safe. Where she'd be loved. Where someone could love her and where that woman would never sink her claws into her." Anna stepped onto the space between the turrets and looked down. "How far do you think it is, John? Do you think I'd survive if I jumped?"_

 _"_ _Don't do it Anna. We can still fix this."_

 _"_ _Then you don't understand." Anna shook her head, "It was broken beyond repair the moment I made the mistake of going to your bed. The moment I didn't take my notice and leave your house forever with my dignity, my reputation, and my future intact. I broke that and you kept it broken."_

 _Anna looked over her shoulder at the distance. "Today's our daughter's birthday you know? She'll be five today."_

 _"_ _She might not even be alive Anna."_

 _"_ _She's alive John." Anna gave him a smile, "She's like me. She's a survivor and she's mine. She'll always be mine. And, one day, she'll find out what happened here."_

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _I sent her to Melbourne with some gifts to help her find me." Anna swallowed hard, "I just wish I would've had the courage to wait for that day."_

 _"_ _Anna!"_

 _She jumped, closing her eyes and commending herself to whatever lay beyond the darkness only glimpsed briefly when you fell in dreams. Maybe her legs would kick in a second and she would wake up in bed. All this would be a horrible nightmare._

 _Somehow she doubted it._

* * *

Anna pushed her food around her plate, eventually laying down her fork. "I'm not the best of company tonight."

"I wouldn't be either if I found out what you did." John pushed his plate aside as well. "It's not… It's not a bad thing to let it get to you."

"No," Anna shook her head. "It's just not familiar."

"How'd you mean?"

"Normally, if this were a case, I'd be stone. It wouldn't affect me at all. I'd channel whatever I did feel and then solve the case."

"A bit different when you're at this end of a ninety-year-old case." John shrugged, "Explains her change in handwriting."

"The woman was kept in unlawful confinement and drugged to try and get her to reveal that she sent my grandmother to Melbourne." Anna bit at her lip, sitting back in her chair. "How does someone, who claimed to love her, do that?"

"People do the weirdest things for those they love." John pointed at Anna, "Go to the other side of the world to solve a mystery is one of them."

"Then you agree with him?"

"I never said that nor would I ever say that." John shuddered, "What he did was… Wrong seems too insignificant a word but it's what I have so it's what I've got. And what he did was wrong."

"The whole thing was wrong."

"We all make bad decisions." John pointed to himself. "I'm divorced, what does that tell you about decision making?"

"That she made the wrong one but good for me?" Anna pulled a momentary smile before sighing. "It's… Not how I expected it all to end."

"End?"

"She's dead and I'm sure it was suicide."

"But you don't know that for sure."

"Based on the way she wrote, what she planned to do the moment she got out, her backup plan if she couldn't…" Anna let out a stream of air. "For as much as I think her John made horrible errors in judgment, I don't think he killed her and Lady Grange couldn't have. Hospital records Mr. Moseley pulled showed she was getting treatment for a scar she said 'the mad woman' gave her."

"I'm guessing you're not giving two bets to see who that was?" Anna scowled and John held up his hands. "Fair enough."

"So that's it."

"Is it?"

"What else is there?"

"The will."

"For the lovely of whatever gods you believe in can we just forget there's a will?" Anna waved a hand, "Wasn't there a will before that to take precedence or something?"

"Technically yes but it left everything to whatever progeny the Lord and Lady Grange had. Since they had no children the whole of the properties would've gone to the next of kin, aka, my family."

"Then take the damn house."

"I said 'technically' and don't think my father didn't try to get the house." John shook his head. "The law firm in charge of the estate was very clear, as were the stewards and caretakers before me."

"If only you were a bit more of a Denethor and less of a Faramir sometimes." Anna put her elbows on the table to support her hands as they caught her forehead. "This whole thing feels like a mistake."

"Dinner?"

"Coming here." Anna surfaced and held up a hand to stop John's eyebrow raise. "Not you, heavens no, but the rest of it."

"Because?"

"Because it just keeps getting worse. Everything I find out makes me hate these people more and all the more glad my grandmother never found out what a rubbish human being her father was. Or that her mother committed suicide." Anna shrugged, "Maybe ignorance is bliss."

"I don't believe that."

"No?"

"No." John shook his head. "I believe people are human and no matter what lies we tell ourselves about the relatives we never met or the illusions we build in our minds about the kind of people we wish they were, they're just as flawed as we are. The part we hate is the humanity in us."

"Now you're going to say that the moment we become adults is when we realized our parents are human, flawed people."

"Close."

"Philosopher."

"Pessimist." John winked at her. "Come on, let me get the bill and take you back to yours so you can wallow in your discovery."

"You'd do that to me?"

"I didn't think you'd like it if I invited myself over."

"To mine?" Anna tried to hold back a laugh. "Have I told you about the squeaky bed I've got?"

"Did you find that out by jumping on it or sleeping on it with someone else?" John put a hand to his chest while the other took the check from the waiter. "Because I might be hurt if I find out we've not been exclusive and I've turn down so many dates with gorgeous women."

"Ha, ha." Anna shook her head, "No, I found out by sleeping on it. Because, as you may be aware, I do occasionally get night terrors and that can end with some very exuberant body movements."

John paused, "You didn't have any of those when you stayed at mine. Or when we were up at Snowdrop."

"I guess you make me calmer." Anna let her smile take over a bit. "But I've not had them much since I've been here."

"Must be the overall calming atmosphere of Oz on you."

"Or just you." Anna stood as John finished paying the check. "And no, I wouldn't mind if you came back to mine."

"And risked your squeaky bed?"

"I don't think I've got next-door neighbors at the moment so," Anna took his hand. "I think we're safe."

"Good." John tucked her close to his side. "Because I think we're going to make a decent amount of noise."

And they did.

Anna could not stop herself crying out when John used his lips over every inch of her skin and gave special attention to her breasts. Or when he put his head between her thighs and did not stop licking and sucking until she came twice. And especially not when he finally entered her. Entered her and waited for Anna to meet his eyes as he moved purposefully to make the bed squeak.

She almost laughed them. Laughed as they moved together as slowly as John encouraged them. Sighed as he shifted and slid deeply inside her while his hands did not stop in carefully caressing her skin. Breathed and moaned with him as she angled her hips and bent her knees further to take him deeper. And finally cried out with him when they came together on her squeaking, rented bed.


	18. Guilt in a Time of Diaries

She ran her fingers over his chest and his eyes fluttered open. "Morning."

"Morning." Anna grinned at him, "How'd you sleep?"

"Better, once the bed stopped squeaking." They tried to muffle their laughs into the bedclothes but that only increased their giggling. Once they regained their composure, John reached out a finger to move a strand of hair out of Anna's face. "I slept very well, thank you."

"I'm glad." Anna bit at her lip, "Because I don't want you tired when I propose this to you."

"I'm fully rested."

"Good." Anna leaned forward, her fingers determinedly flicking up his chest to tap his nose. "I want to try that little proposition you had yesterday."

"Which one?" John grinned at her, "The one where you get fat and have to stay here forever?"

"No," Anna swatted at him but John blocked with a pillow, "The one where we try to keep as quiet as possible."

"I'm sure the neighbors would enjoy if we tried." John paused, "What's the catch? Because I can see in your face there is one."

"You've got to follow my instructions."

"I like where this is going."

"Good." Anna put her finger over his lips. "Because the first rule is that you can't say anything."

"I feel like I'm a teenager again, sneaking girls into my room." John grinned at her before miming drawing a zipper over his mouth.

"It'll be exactly like that but we know what we're doing." Anna pulled the sheets slowly down John's body, kissing at the skin she revealed.

John arched under her, his hands running over her arms but Anna moved out of his range, tugging the sheets further to leave him fully exposed to her. The tenting in his boxers had her grinning as she curled her fingers under the elastic and lowered them as slowly as she could before kissing just above where the morning helped him rise to the occasion. He pouted at her but Anna ignored him and tossed his boxers to the side before straddling his legs.

"I want you to keep yourself quiet and you're only allowed to touch my exposed skin." Anna tried to keep her face serious but John's pout continued at the sight of her overlarge shirt and knickers. "Sorry, but those are the rules."

He offered a dramatic sigh to match the roll of his eyes before using the tips of his fingers to skate over her skin. Anna shivered with the maneuver and leaned into it as she bent over him to bring their lips together. The slightly chapped nature of them soon warmed and softened as they moved together with John's hips gently thrusting toward her.

Anna slid further forward, her still-covered clit pressed against John's hardening arousal, and smiled against his skin as she pressed her kisses to his jaw and throat before tracing down his chest. Her hands, like his, tried to soothe and tantalize in equal measure until John slipped and tripped closer to the hem of her shirt, testing his limits within their game.

Pulling back, Anna wagged a finger at him before crossing her arms to pull the shirt over her head. John's tongue darted out to lick over his lips and Anna only winked at him before moving her hair over one shoulder to continue her kisses. Kisses she pressed to his chest and nipples while John's hands massaged her now exposed breasts.

They hummed together, bodied gyrating in time with one another so they gave little huffing groans in sync. Anna shifted her kisses lower, forcing John's hands into her hair, and struggled to maintain focus at the gentle massage he pressed to the skin of her scalp. But once she finally darted her tongue out to lick over him, John's hands lost all focus. And when she finally took him in her mouth, John's fingers could only curl into the sheets.

She wrapped her tongue over him, running up and down him like an ice cream cone before slipping up to tease the slit at his tip. John jerked at that, his knuckles white in the sheets of the bed, and Anna relaxed her teasing just enough to draw back. Her cheeks hollowed and she took him deeper before bringing a hand forward to gently caress his sack.

The whimper John let out had Anna drawing back, letting her tongue slide up him a final time before kissing his tip. She watched the heave of his chest and the slow release of his fingers in the sheets before she removed her knickers to crawl forward. John's eyes widened when she ran him between her folds and relished the confusion when she continued forward.

"Ready?" She shifted and positioned her knees on either side of his head while John's hands settled on her thighs and ass. "If you want, that is."

John nodded enthusiastically and jerked Anna down so he could bury his tongue inside her. Anna tried to grip the wall and then the fake headboard nailed to it. The headboard squealed and Anna put her hands back to the wall to try and find the leverage she needed to stay above John as he worked his tongue and fingers masterfully over her.

Her knees almost boxed his ears when her thighs finally gave out in her climax, the quivering sensations too much for her to bear. But Anna caught herself above John, slipping back to kiss him as she worked her trembling limbs above him. Above him enough to sink slowly down on him until they were skin to skin.

It took Anna a minute or two to regain her strength so she could better utilize her position but John kept them satiated with gentle thrusts. Steady motions and movements that encouraged Anna's flagging strength and flighty nerves to zing just long enough to get her back in position. The position that had her rising above him and riding him until John climaxed.

She sagged onto his chest and tapped his mouth. John dramatically gasped out as they settled together on the bed. It squeaked as they moved and they both managed some breathless giggles. They resettled, ignoring the squeaks, and sighed together as they cooled.

"What now?" Anna lifted herself slightly to look at John as he turned his head to her. "Do we just pack it in?"

"I don't know." Anna flopped back to the bed, "I don't have any idea what I'm supposed to do now. Which, if you think about it, is par for the course since I had no idea what I was doing when I first got here either."

"So we're just playing it by ear?"

"I guess." Anna paused, turning over to John, "Did you just say 'we'?"

"I did."

"You've really gotten yourself involved in all this." Anna shifted onto her side, sliding her hands under her head. "What's it mean for you?"

"Answers, same as you and yet not the same at all." John rolled onto his side as well. "If we find the will, yes I know you hate me talking about it."

"It's kind of your parrot phrase."

"It's important." John shrugged into the pillows. "It's what could spell changes and progress for Bates Manor. It's what could put to rest a lot of questions and unsettling realities about this place. And it would give more purpose to the lives of my family."

"All good reasons." Anna pursed her lips, "And you're right. I just…"

John frowned, "Just what?"

"I wish I had a better plan." Anna shook her head, "In my cases I usually have a lead or another option or a way to look deeper. In this I feel like I'm drowning for more clues. That I stumble on something and it either makes me more confused or it makes me want to burn the whole place down."

"Nothing's ever simple."

"Never." Anna paused, "Then again…"

John lifted himself a little, "I have to be honest, I truly hate that you keep almost saying things. It's like you're saying things just to raise tension."

"I'm just scattered in my thoughts." Anna sat up, "But I was thinking about that article. The rather cruel obituary about my great-grandmother's death."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Why would she write it?" Anna bit at her lip. "What would make a local reporter write something about a woman she barely knew?"

"How do we know she barely knew her?" John sat up as well. "Maybe local reporter… Whatshername, had something significant against your great-grandmother, for whatever reason."

"I know she was friends with Lady Grange but she, according to Mrs. Sinderby, had no other interaction with the original Anna Smith."

"Maybe she didn't like Anna for no other reason than that she and Lady Grange were good friends."

"Maybe." Anna got off the bed. "I think I need to shower."

"Is this you following a lead?" John moved off the bed, "Are we part of an investigation now? Because this is exciting."

Anna, a toothbrush in her mouth, shook her head at him and laughed a little over the toothpaste. "You're one of the most interesting people I've ever met."

"And I'm going to use your shower." John slipped past her, "I'll be quick."

"Don't let me stop you." Anna spit into the sink. "I might even join you."

"There's an idea." John slipped into the shower, turning on the water. "It's a little cramped but we could work it out."

Anna laughed and went for another go with her toothbrush.

Less than an hour later, Anna and John waited as Mr. Moseley dug his way through the archives. In front of them were the remains of all of Sarah O'Brien's notebooks from her time at the local paper. Anna flipped through them, marking the notes she could decipher that had to do with her great-grandmother, as John noted the dates on a pad next to them.

"This is the last we've got of it." Mr. Moseley put the last box in front of them, scratching at his head. "It's not much and I don't know what else it'll say but this is what I can dig out."

"It's what we've got." Anna paused, "Did she have any surviving family? They might have some of her things."

"She didn't have any children of her own but she did help raise her great-nephew after his father died and his mother needed some help." Mr. Moseley lowered his voice. "Something about a bit of a neuroses that had her in and out of psychiatric care."

"Why?"

"Her husband died in a car accident and she was in the car too." Mr. Moseley shuddered, "It was devastating in the family."

"So her great-nephew would have her things?" Anna tapped her pencil against the notebook and turned to John. "You up for a drive?"

"How long's the drive?" John turned to Mr. Moseley.

"He's local. Worked at the paper until it closed and now works at the local radio station." Mr. Moseley wrote down the details on a card, handing it to John. "He's a lovely boy. The one who brought all this stuff in when the paper closed actually. Alfred Nugent."

"Perfect." Anna made a final note, "Have you digitized all these?"

"Not as yet but I've got the scans if you just want to give me the pages. I'll email them to you."

"Thanks." Anna handed over the sheet and looked to John. "Ready?"

"Absolutely. We're hot on the case and-"

"If you're going to make this a crime drama I'm not having it."

"Because it's too much like your real life?"

"Because if we go in there like cops then he'll never help us."

"You're no fun. It'd be like role play."

Anna shook her head, "Not my kind of role play."

"Your kind of role play?" John ran his tongue over his lips as he held the door for her. "And what kind of activities might that entail?"

"Maybe you'll get to see later." Anna leveled a finger at him, "If you're good."

John took them out to his car. "You are, without doubt, truly the worst."

Anna rolled her eyes and got into the car as John drove them to the radio station. The station itself resembled a converted garage but once they stepped inside Anna suppressed a whistle at the setup that resembled the best of any recording studio where she ever took a statement. And her distraction forced John to address the assistant who asked after their intentions.

"We're looking for Alfred Nugent."

"Is he in trouble?" Anna turned, blinking into the conversation as the girl took an obvious step back from them.

"No, we're here about his great-aunt. We're doing research for the Historical Society and we're curious about some of her more personal details."

The girl frowned, "Al doesn't talk about her much but… I'll see if he's willing to speak to you about her."

"Thank you." John waved her off before lowering his voice to Anna. "You'd think they'd had trouble with police before or something."

"We've not got the nicest content and we've had problems with people saying we're causing a ruckus." A tall man with vibrantly red hair approached them. "Had a few fights in pubs too but that's just disturbing the peace."

"Unfortunate." John nodded at him, "I'll bet you've got yourself handled in those events."

"Most times. It helps when you scrape the ceiling." He extended a hand, "Alfred Nugent but most around here just call me Al."

"I'm John Bates and this is Anna Smith." John shook first and then stepped aside for Anna.

"I've been to your pub before Mr. Bates and I rather enjoyed myself." Al stepped back, his hands going into his pockets. "But I don't think you're here about an unpaid tab or anything."

"We're actually here about your great-aunt."

Al raised his eyebrows at Anna, "Aunt Sarah? She went to her reward years ago. Right before the paper closed, God rest her soul since it would've killed her to watch it close before her eyes."

"It's actually about the paper too."

"What about the paper?"

"It's…" Anna pulled at her fingers before fiddling with her left sleeve. "Do you think we could sit down somewhere? It's a bit of a long conversation."

Al pursed his lips and then nodded, "Sure. My office is right over here."

He led them down a tight corridor and into an office with just enough space for his lanky frame to squeeze behind a desk while John and Anna squashed themselves together on the overstuffed sofa. "Sorry, I don't usually do more than kip down on that and we don't have visitors who aren't guests of the show."

"We're grateful for your time." Anna scooted forward a little, allowing John to stretch out his legs. "And we're not here to pry, if that's why you're worried."

"It's not that, necessarily." Al flexed his jaw, "Aunt Sarah was… a force of nature, to put it bluntly. She always treated me well, took care of me when my dad died and my mum needed care, and never gave up on me. I owe her everything. But I also know that the woman who raised me isn't the woman everyone else in town knew. She was… She was a black horse."

"We've all got them in our families." John shrugged, shifting on the sofa. "Some are just closer than most."

"The paper had an image of her that was… It wasn't kind, Mr. Bates, and that makes me leery to talk about her."

Anna looked to John for a moment before speaking, "We're here about the people she knew while she worked at the paper, actually. Some people we feel she knew well enough to… To write about."

"She wrote about whatever would get people reading papers."

"Then you know about the stories she wrote about the deaths at Bushwarden Base?" Anna waited, noting Al's frown. "Bates Manor?"

"Oh, of course. They made her career." Al's face drew closed, "She never talked about them though. It was odd. Everyone else talked about her being first on the scene in both cases, about her being this top reporter who got the scoop on them, but if I ever asked then it was 'mum's the word' and she'd close down."

"Any idea why?"

Al shook his head, "She never told me. Refused to talk about it with me. Said I'd think differently of her if I knew."

"That's not foreboding at all." John muttered and Anna almost jabbed him in the ribs. "But nothing else?"

"There was…" Al paused, "When she passed I was there, at her bedside, and she grabbed my hand real tight. She looked me right in the eye and said 'I regret any part I had in the death of that woman and the loss of my friend'. And that was it."

Anna blinked, "She said that?"

Al nodded, "It was about as odd as her request that I never read her diaries."

"Like her journals?"

"No, Aunt Sarah never kept those. Said it was too easy for people to read them." Al stood up and the other two followed suit. "She just used her regular datebook diaries and jotted notes in there."

"Were they included with the information the Historical Society received when the newspaper closed?" Anna pressed but Al shook his head.

"No, I kept them. She seemed very adamant that I wasn't to allow anyone to read them."

"I know…" Anna stopped herself, choosing her words more carefully. "I know this will be hard to ask, but we'd like to see those diaries, if we could."

"Why?" His eyes narrowed, "You're not reporters are you?"

"No," Anna shook her head, "Heavens no."

"Then why-"

"We're trying to find out the truth about what happened in those deaths at Bates Manor," John filled in and Anna nodded. "It's a bit of a family drama for us and we're just unraveling it all."

"And my aunt's diaries are going to help with that?"

"They might." Anna bit the inside of her cheek. "When she died, you told us she said that she 'regretted her involvement in the death of that woman and her friend', yes?"

Al nodded, "It seemed to weigh on her soul. Like the guilt helped kill her."

"Not the fact she was over a hundred?" John risked and Al smiled.

"She was a tough old bird. I was pretty sure Death would have to take her in her sleep because she'd fight him otherwise."

"But you think the guilt got to her?"

Al nodded again, "Whatever she felt about those incidents, she never wanted me to know about it and it shamed her. Shamed her to her grave."

"Then," Anna shrugged, "What harm could it do to try and bring her a modicum of peace?"

Al looked them both over and sighed, "None at all. As long as you never print what you find out and my aunt's memory stays as it is. I'll not have her name dragged through the mud, no matter how long she's been dead."

"We've no intention of doing anything but find out the truth about our family." Anna pointed between she and John. "Your aunt was just someone caught in the whirlpool of whatever happened to them."

"Then I'll get them for you." Al checked his watch, "If you can wait until we finish here I'll bring them by Mr. Bates's pub. We're wrapping up a project here and when we finish we'll all want a drink."

"Fine by me." John turned to Anna, "Is that alright with you?"

Anna shrugged, "It's fine with me. I could use a drink myself."

"Then I'll see you both later." Al shook their hands and shrugged. "This has been one of the most interesting conversations I've ever had."

"Not the oddest I've ever had." Anna nodded at him, "Thank you again, for your willingness to help us."

"If it gives my aunt some peace then I don't mind." Al opened the door, "I'll escort you out."

When they were back in the sunshine, another round of handshakes exchanged, Anna turned to John. "That went a lot easier than I imagined it might."

"Did you think he'd hold out?"

"I don't know." Anna crossed her arms over her chest, pacing by the car for a moment. "I guess I've never thought about if the positions were reversed. If someone came to me looking for information about all this… mess, what would I say? How would I respond?"

"I don't know." John leaned on the car, "I've lived for awhile with the idea that people in this town are suspicious of what happened. They're suspicious of my name but it's more like a folktale than a murder mystery. Something to spice things up instead of a tragedy involving three people."

"If only this were something only performed on stage." Anna went back to the car, leaning next to him. "Do you think someone really could die of guilt?"

"I think regret lasts a long time and there is a direct correlation between how we feel and our physical state." John tapped on the car, "Come on, there are drinks to be had somewhere else and deep conversations like this should take place in a church or at a pub."

"I'm guessing you're not suggesting we go to a church."

"They've not got drinks there." John opened the door for Anna. "Shall we?"

* * *

 _She opened the door, the screams of the servants in the background nothing but fog in her ears as she stepped carefully on the scene. The pencil bit into her skin as her fingers slipped on the cover of the notebook in her hand but she adjusted her hold to carefully approach the first body. Blood leaked onto the wooden floor and into the carpet, dying the carefully tied threads a dark red. Red that matched the profusion obscuring the pattern on Vera's dress._

 _Kneeling away from the blood, she reached forward to put her fingers on the inside of the woman's wrist. If a pulse beat there she could not feel it. Her hand trembled as she withdrew it, carefully pulling at the lids opened over unseeing eyes to cover them. As if leaving her eyes closed might suggest Vera Bates slept at an awkward angle on the floor instead of bled to death there._

 _A thumping rage beat in time with her heart as she turned on her heel, rising from her knees to go to the man groaning for breath just feet away. The smell of smoke and powder on the air turned sour on her tongue and acrid in her nose as she heaved for breath. But when she attempt to summon her ire, she noted the bleeding on his chest, the same leaking pattern into the rug under him. A pattern left by the gun lying near Vera's hand._

 _She turned to leave, the rolling feeling in her stomach hurrying her feet, but a hand batted against her foot. Her shriek half strangled in her mouth but she noted the slow rise and fall of Lord Grange's chest and the weak crook of his fingers. Mindful of the blood she bent down near him, bending even lower when his rasping voice could barely whisper the distance between them._

 _With her head almost at his mouth, making sure not to touch where the blood still seeped slowly over his white shirt, she listened carefully. "Rose… Lily now… Rose. Make sure Rose knows."_

 _"Rose?" She frowned, pulling back. "Rose who? Lily Rose who?"_

 _His hand grabbed hers, his grip tight before it immediately failed. "We kept her here. Kept her to find out where she sent Rose. Rose is in Melbourne. I… I went to her and…" His chest rose and a rattling breath filled his lungs. "Anna died here because of us. We killed her."_

 _"The lunatic jumped."_

 _"We pushed her to it." She swallowed hard but listened hard as his voice faded further. "Vera knew… She knew what I wanted to do with the will. Knew that I'd keep it all from her. That's why… The gun… I tried to grab it from her. It wouldn't change my mind. She couldn't change my mind."_

 _"About what?"_

 _"The will. I changed my will." He sighed, "Rose gets it. Rose should've gotten it. She'll get it all."_

 _"Who's Rose?"_

 _"She's in my journals." His fingers pointed toward the bookshelf but she only saw a line of classical literature. "Just like Anna's… She's in there too."_

 _"In what?"_

 _"My books." His fingers raised, gracing the air before his arm fell. "It's all in my books. Just like Anna's. The only thing I've got left of her."_

 _"Left of whom?"_

 _But he did not respond._

 _She stood up, almost bumping into the constables arriving on the scene, and answered their questions. An odd change of pace as her notebook remained empty and her pencil snapped in one of their interrogations. Even writing the piece it was all she could do to try and not remember the gun in her friend's hand. The gun that left residue on both the bodies as they fought over it and shot one another._

 _October fourth, nineteen-thirty-three the police ruled them dead in a double murder but that never sat right with her. Not when she had to print it. Not when she stood by their coffins as they lowered into the earth. Not even when she visited the lavish grave just a step away from Lord Grange's designated plot for the lunatic governess Vera claimed tossed herself from the roof for no reason at all._

 _Or perhaps, she thought as she walked away, for all the reasons in the world._

* * *

Anna sipped at her drink, staring off at the twinkling lights of town in the distance. She raised it a second, waiting for John to bring his glass of sparkling… something carbonated to bear. Even a few minutes after jeering good-naturedly at him for it she could not remember.

Regardless, they clinked glasses and Anna sighed out, "To Sarah O'Brien. Friends with a demon and yet troubled to the end about the truth."

"I guess it's difficult when you realize the friends you have are capable of nasty things." John took a sip of his drink and hissed. "Smooth."

"You're ridiculous." Anna sipped at her wine before placing it to the side. "Is this our thing now?"

"What?"

"Eating dinner and trying not to think about the horrible things we found out during the day?"

"I don't know." John put his drink aside and moved toward her, scooting as he abandoned his prosthetic next to the picnic basket for their rooftop dinner. "How do you decompress after a case?"

"About like this." Anna shrugged, "Usually alone though."

"And if you didn't have to be alone?"

"With someone like you," Anna nudged her shoulder into his. "I'd hope, anyway. But this is different from a case. I can distance myself in those."

"But this is family." John agreed. "That's what makes it hard."

He was quiet a moment and when Anna did not fill the silence he spoke. "Will you and Mrs. Sinderby be tearing apart the library to see if Lord Grange hid his journals the way Anna Smith did?"

"Yep." Anna reached back for her glass and finished it. "Hopefully he's got the answers you need to find that will."

"I'm a little more worried about the answers you need."

"Not sure if I want any more of those." Anna leaned back on her arms, groaning to the sky. "Why couldn't it be that I discovered she simply wandered onto a train? That her mother misplaced her at the station and…"

"And the story doesn't end in tragedy?"

Anna nodded, "I didn't want this."

John moved next to her, what remained of his right leg alongside her left while his right arm framed next to her pockmarked left. "Can I give you the Gandalf speech or would you hate that?"

"The what?"

"The Gandalf speech. The one from _The Fellowship of the Ring_?" Anna shook her head and John cleared his throat, attempting an impression. " _So do all who live to see such times but that is not for us to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us_."

"Thank you, Sir Ian McKellan," Anna pressed into his right side again. "And I think you took some creative liberties there."

"I needed it to apply to the situation."

"Very bold of you." Anna gave him a smile, "But I appreciate it."

"I'm glad." John took a deep breath and then let it out. "I am sorry, you know. About all of this. About the effect it's having on you."

"Thank you." Anna pulled her knees closer to her chest, resting her elbows on them to prop up her chin as she looked out at the dark. "I don't even know if I know the effect it's having on me."

"Like emotions you can't name?"

"Exactly." Anna paused, "There's a lot of German words that combine together to explain deeper emotions that are an amalgamation of our feelings. Someone on the internet calls it 'the dictionary of obscure sorrows'."

"Really?"

Anna nodded, "I wish I had it on me right now. Then I could just flip through and find the word to describe what I'm feeling."

"Putting a name to it makes it easier to bear because then you can understand it." John slapped at the remains of his right leg. "I got that in spades."

"I'm starting to think we all do." Anna turned her head sideways to look at him. "You know, for all the free psychology you're giving me, I've not given you much back. Feels very uneven."

"Do you want to know a secret?" John leaned toward her, "I think you've already given me back what I need."

"Have I?" Anna frowned, "All I've done is take from you."

"No," John shook his head and gestured to his leg. "Do you think I could remove my leg for just anyone? That if there were a single woman in a ten mile radius who wouldn't keep looking at my stump of an appendage every few seconds I would've found her by now?"

"Maybe you've got to expand your radius."

"No," John took her hands in his. "You're the first person to look at me. At all of me… Or all that's left of me. You never treated me like a cripple or an invalid and you've never done anything but fully involve me in this process as if it was mine as well as yours."

"Technically it is."

"But you didn't know that when you started." John shrugged, his fingers moving slowly over her hands. "You're the first person who's ever treated me like a person and that's… That's special to me."

"It's special to me too." Anna pulled his hands to her mouth and kissed them. "And it'll be hard, no matter how this ends, to go and leave you."

"Because you have to do that?"

"I was lucky to get the time off I did." Anna argued and wrestled her hands free. But that only upended them as they squirmed and wrestled over the picnic blanket. Their motions landed Anna on John's chest and she paused there, her fingers caressing his skin through his shirt. "And I was lucky I met you."

"Same here." John leaned up just enough to peck her on the lips. "Although, I've a request. You can say no, as always, but I hope you won't."

"What's that?"

John's eyes twinkled in time with his grin. "You take your dear, sweet time with me on this rooftop."

"Is this to pay you back for dinner?"

"You never have to pay me back for that."

"After all this trouble for a picnic on top of this house with the best view in town?" Anna dramatically swept her arm but twisted into John's grip as he tickled her. She squealed and maneuvered over top him again, bending low to kiss him, "How could I possibly say no?"

"I was so hoping you'd say that."

Anna moved slowly. Much like that morning, in her hotel room, but with the gentle hum of the night to set their pace there was no reason to quicken their movements. Each divestment of clothing was a careful process to better expose skin for touching and kissing and caressing. Every angle calculated for maximum enjoyment as they moved together to elicit the soft sighs and muffled moans of two people sharing a private moment under the stars and far from the world.

When she took her seat above him, confident and free, John's grip on her arm paused them both. Despite the quiver of him inside her, positively thrumming with the energy they built up with eager fingers and daring hands, John held them still. Took her hand in his and kissed over the pockmarked evidence of her mother's mistake so long ago.

Mistakes ran in her family, Anna realized in the seconds it took John to sit up and kiss solidly at her shoulder. But this, she thought as her arms wrapped around John's shoulders and her legs locked behind his back to grind as close to him as physically possible without crawling into his skin, was no mistake. Getting lost and meeting him, coming here, even the horrible reality of a family gripped by devastation and tragedy, all led to the moment she stared in his eyes and rolled her hips to meet his thrusts.

As they laid together after, tangled in their beautiful brokenness, Anna could only hear the calm of the night in time with John's beating heart. The reality of her family heritage just floors below them was nothing. Just facts and figures and mistakes. All information to be processed, felt, and put aside. All that mattered was the man next to her and whatever move they decided on together.


	19. The Will Becomes Her

Tucking the book back, Anna marked off another on the list and slid over on the carpet. "Only a few hundred more to go?"

"Maybe we're going about this all wrong." Mrs. Sinderby stepped back from the opposite wall. "Maybe the point of his finger wasn't arbitrary."

"What?" Anna pushed herself off the floor, wincing as her knees refused to straighten. "What's that mean?"

"What if, in the diaries Ms. O'Brien kept, the mention of his finger pointing wasn't arbitrary?" Mrs. Sinderby stepped across the room, tracing her steps a moment. "He was lying roughly here, yes?"

"Based on the sheet in the crime scene photos, yes." Anna watched as Mrs. Sinderby got down on the ground and mimed the same pose. "So if your finger pointed… Which way?"

"Which way was he bleeding? If Ms. O'Brien tried to avoid the blood then-"

"Right." Anna took the role of O'Brien and moved to Mrs. Sinderby's side before twisting to allow the other woman's arm to stretch but flag in its point toward a set of shelves. "We could start here."

They both took opposite ends of the shelf and, within an hour, had a collection to rival that of the elder Anna Smith. Journals concealed in lesser known works and tucked into the library like the uncracked spines in so many magnificent collections. Anna pushed back from the table, looking over the contents, and shook her head. "It's a good thing I like reading."

"Not what you imagined for your holiday I'd imagined."

"There are worse ways to spend a holiday." Anna conceded, checking over the journals. "These ones correspond to the dates of the other Anna being here."

"And these," Mrs. Sinderby tapped three, "Are all dated after her death and before his."

Anna cringed, "Part of me doesn't want to read them."

"I'd imagine, by this point, there's not much his ghost could tell us that you'd be interested in hearing."

"He's not exactly ranked high in the people I want to meet in Heaven." Anna traded their piles. "But we're here for answers and, in my experience, we don't have to like them."

"I'd imagine your job would give you any of a number of experiences with disappointment." Mrs. Sinderby catalogued the journals in her care, making notes about the library references before meeting Anna's eyes. "Disappointment in people being the least of those things."

"It's true." Anna found the dates she needed and bent her head over the neat, left-slanting handwriting. "When I first started I think I let myself be a little too shocked by what people did. Now… Now, you're right, it's just disappointment that people can be such fools. Can treat one another so horribly."

"The human experience is littered with people doing stupid things." Mrs. Sinderby tapped on the pile of journals. "The evidence of a flawed creature is, in my opinion, something to be pitied."

"Just pitied?"

"And learned from." Mrs. Sinderby looked around the library, "In our course of discovery here, the highlight of my time here I might add, I think I've learned more about pity that any other time in my life."

"I'd say that's about right." Anna tapped the page in front of her. "He put her journals in the room with the standing order not to touch them."

"What?" Mrs. Sinderby bent over the table but Anna passed the journal to her. "I guess he wanted to protect what part of her legacy he could."

"Since he failed in all else."

"Probably true but, as Kate Morton wrote in _The Clockmaker's Daughter_ , 'Life is long and being human isn't easy'."

"No one grows up to be the person they're supposed to be, yes?"

"Very true." Mrs. Sinderby handed the book back. "I think we become the people we're meant to be but if we spend too much time focused on the 'supposed to' part of it then we'll never get to the 'meant to be' part."

"What kind of person do you think Lord Grange was meant to be?"

"Better than he became I think." Mrs. Sinderby checked her list again, "I'll go see if there are anymore of his journals stuck in odd places throughout the library. And then I'll need to have a very difficult discussion with the librarian and the Historical Society about the books in here."

Anna waved her off and turned to the journal before her.

* * *

 _He buried her._

 _Buried her against Vera's screeching complaints about the family burial plot used for only marriage and blood. She did not take well to his return argument about Anna's blood being as much in the ground as anyone else's. Or that her shared blood ran with his in the veins of a girl still lost to them._

 _She knew her place, however. Knew how to bow and scrape and even sniffle her sobs when the pastor read the words over the coffin lowered into the freshly dug earth. Sun beat on the backs of all the exposed necks and John recognized the itching pull of sunburnt skin as he thanked the few who came to the ceremony. The servants, of course, and some of the kinder people in town. He even thanked those who came for no other reason than to gawk and whisper at the odd proceedings already earning him a reputation beyond disgraceful._

 _Did he not deserve it? Just as he deserved the scathing appraisals from the Crawley family. Or, he corrected himself, just Mr. and Mrs. Crawley. Their family remained in Melbourne as the children were practically beside themselves with grief. Grief that the governess they parted with so well would find her grave at Bushwarden Base. Would come to hear the stories that washed her with scandal and painted John and Vera in varying shades of gray depending on who told the story._

 _Even strong-arming Sarah O'Brien proved to only stave off the worst of the speculations. Her evaluation of Anna's death did nothing but stir more gossip. Just different gossip than before._

 _He stood over her grave until the social unacceptability drove him indoors. To insipid conversations, whispers behind his back, and the cold shoulder of the Crawleys who left before the second course was even offered. Leaving John to face it alone._

 _As he should._

 _The work of the estate fell into a dull monotony that left him struggling to fill his time. Or, better put, to fill his soul. To try and replace what he lost._

 _His first act was to insist Anna's room remain the same. Despite Vera's protests and her insistence on burning anything of Anna's she could find, John carefully kept the room untouched. The books hiding her real journals lined the bookcase and he removed the matching book of fairy tales from the library to fill the empty space._

 _It belonged there._

 _His evenings, free from Vera as they rarely found reasons to speak now, found him in Anna's room. Not sitting on her bed, he could not bear the thought of being close to it, but near her bookcase. Near her journals. He never read them but the presence of them… It was almost as if she stayed in the room. As if part of her soul, poured into those pages so carefully concealed, held the version of them with more hope and a bright future._

 _The version of them he allowed to spoil and rot under the fetid and suffocating presence of Vera. The version of them he killed with his lack of fortitude and bending spine. The version of them Anna died declaring he lost for them forever._

 _She was right. His thoughts as he sat in the room, alone in the dark, always went back to that point. She was right. Had been right about all of it. Had been right to doubt him, despise him, run from him… Even, he admitted when the drink mixed soporifically with the small hours of the morning, to send their child away from him._

 _But those thoughts, in early spring as he finally found the courage to travel in the same direction as the train she used for Rose, guided him to Melbourne. Not as many people knew him here and those that he did he would not visit. The Crawleys rescinded every invitation they ever made for his presence in their house and he respected that. Respected that they held the memory of Anna Smith in higher esteem than he ever held the real her._

 _To his everlasting shame._

 _But he went to Melbourne all the same. Went to… He was not sure. In a city as large as Melbourne how would he hope to find Rose. She might not even be alive. Despite Anna's desperate hopes, the only thing to cling to in the prison where he abandoned her in his own home, he held onto none of them._

 _He had no reason to believe that fate would be kinder to him in this than it had been in anything else. Than he had been in anything else. And the wheel could only turn in the direction he sent it through his own pessimism and selfishness._

 _If he had been braver. If he had been stronger. If he had been… More. In all cases and possible meanings of the world, he thought as he sat alone on a bench near the station where his daughter might have, almost a year before, disembarked a train._

 _John wondered if this would become his vigil. If he could bear the thought of traveling by train to Melbourne every year on his daughter's birthday to mark the thought of being in the last place he knew her to ever be. Perhaps, like the books on her mother's shelf, this place could hold a bit of her spirit. The only part of her he could ever hope to deserve… If she even deigned to give it._

 _That was when he heard it._

 _A laugh like a memory of better days. Days left in the back of his mind where the pain of their joy could not interrupt the self-hatred and loathing he so carefully cultivated for his everyday self-flagellation. The same place he stored all of his lovely moments with Anna that he only ever dared visit in the darkest hours of the night. In those times when he felt, for a moment, he was still worthy of their warmth._

 _But there it was again. That laugh. The little giggle so like the one her mother matured and developed. The laugh passed from mother to daughter like the golden hair bouncing with each step as the little girl held tightly to the hand of her father. The hand of…_

 _John blinked. Mr. Crawley, his old friend, held to Rose's hand. But he did not call her that. Over the sounds of the station as Mr. Crawley showed Rose the trains, he did not address her as Rose. He called her Lily._

 _But what was a name? What else could you call Rose but the names of beautiful flowers. Who else could the child be but his?_

 _They did not see him and John, in his cowardice, refused to move. Refused to approach them. Refused to confront them about his daughter._

 _The clerk at the station confided that the girl was indeed adopted. A waif found with a book and a tiny satchel of clothes from a southbound train. No one with her and no notes to indicate her name or identity. There had been an advertisement in the paper, the man said, but no one answered it and the local constables allowed the Crawley family to take her in since she bonded so well to them._

 _So he left her there. Left her in the care of a family who had so loved her mother, even if they did not know the relation. Left her in the care of a family ready to provide for her without failing so miserably, as he had. Left her in Melbourne to live as Lily Crawley and returned to Snowy River._

 _Returned to meet with his lawyer and draw up a new will. One he insisted he file for himself. One he took home and folded so carefully to tuck into the slit he made in the cover of his matching copy of the book of fairy tales. The book Anna ensured their child had to take with her._

 _Vera expressed her displeasure, along with threats John refused to acknowledge. Perhaps if he took her more seriously then the letter to his lawyer, telling him to inform the Crawley family of Rose's identity and John's wish for her to grow up in their care, would have been sent instead of tossed into the fire with the contents of his desk in Vera's rage. Perhaps she would not have drawn the gun they then fought over as John tried to take it from her hands._

 _Perhaps then it would not have backfired and shot her in the chest. Perhaps she would not have staggered back and fired again. Perhaps the heat and searing pain of the bullet lodging in his body would not have been his last sensations. Perhaps he would not have had to confide in Sarah O'Brien as she crouched over him._

 _Perhaps then the last sight he saw in the world would not have been the mural on the ceiling on the library depicting the fall of Icarus._

* * *

John sat across from Anna as they sat at the table. Mrs. Sinderby was long gone and the darkness outside beckoned for them to follow suit. But Anna could not move until John read the last words in Lord Grange's journal and shut the cover to look back at her across the table.

"So?"

"So…" John sighed, pushing the books away. "What do you want to do now?"

"I want to check the cover of that other book." Anna bit at her lip, "And then I think we need to exhume the bodies of Lord Grange and my great-grandmother, to confirm it all with a DNA test."

"You're sure?"

"No but it'll be a step in the process of checking the validity of my claims to being the heir of the estate."

"Is that what you want?"

Anna shook her head. "Never."

"Then why bother?"

She reached over the table, putting her hand over his. "Because it's what you want. To bring this place back to glory. And the only way to do that is to swallow my pride and accept that, when we find this will, it'll give everything to my grandmother. Who, in turn, gave everything to me."

"And you're alright with that?"

"It'll bring peace to a lot of people and give you the chance to really make this place shine." Anna smiled at him, her thumb moving over his knuckles. "And I'm more than alright with that."

"If it's all settled then."

"It is."

"Perfect." John stood and held a hand out to Anna, a grin spreading over his face, "Shall we check the book then? One last mystery to solve?"

"One last mystery to solve."

They went up to Anna's great-grandmother's room together and John stepped to the side as Anna withdrew the large companion novel to the well-worn, well-loved version of Grimm's Fairy Tales. It opened, spine whining a bit at the imposition, and Anna ran her fingers over the cover. There, almost imperceptible against the solid craftsmanship of the book, was a folded bit of paper.

John's pocketknife opened and he carefully slit along the line of cracked glue to pry the delicate cover page from the wrapped cardboard. There, tucked innocently inside, was a folded piece of paper. With Anna's thinner fingers, she gingerly coaxed the paper out and unfolded it as John stood to the side to read it along with her.

Anna cleared her throat and read the now-familiar, left-slanted handwriting.

" _I, John Bates, Sixth Earl of Grange, being of sound mind and of sound body, do write this will. To superseded all previous wills written and notarized by my solicitors and agents. This will notarized by the below signed solicitor, to act as agent in ensuring this will and all its stipulations are carried out to the fullest measure possible._

 _"_ _I, John Bates, do bequeath my land, monies, worldly possessions, and all other items under my ownership or in my care to my daughter, Rose Anna Smith. Born to myself and her mother, Anna May Smith, on October 4, 1927 at Bushwarden Base and currently in the unknowing care of the Crawley family in Melbourne, Australia. Being sent there by her mother on her [Rose Smith] fourth birthday, October 4, 1931._

 _"_ _My title shall be inherited by the next male heir in my line._

 _"_ _This will is final and binding."_

Anna looked up at John, "There we have it."

"There we have it." John tucked the will back in the book and leaned on the bookcase to look at Anna. "Well?"

"Well?"

"What now?"

"The exhumation, presumably."

"No," John gave a little laugh. "Now that you know."

"That wasn't the mystery we were trying to solve." Anna shoved at his shoulder. "What about you, Mr. Caretaker? Now that you know you've been pouring your plans for this place into a willing ear who owns it."

"You'll make all my dreams come true but that's not the point." John scooted along the ledge to half-sit in front of Anna. "How do you feel knowing he left it all to your grandmother? That his last act was to try and set it all right?"

"That he was a man tormented by guilt and, as Mrs. Sinderby suggested, worthy of my pity for it." Anna put her hands on either side of John's hips. "And that my grandmother, in another life, might've been what he needed. Might've been the strength he needed."

"We're not always the people we need to be when we need to be them." John eyed the room. "I wouldn't convert this one."

"What?" Anna frowned and John gestured to the room.

"It's big enough to be one of those walk-through museums. It'd be the selling point of the house… Beyond the murders."

"Accidental deaths, I think you mean." Anna folded her arms in front of her chest. "And what would you do with a walk-through museum?"

"Turn parts of the house interactive. Make it like an adventure for those who come to visit." John put a hand to his chest and the other out toward Anna. "With the owner's permission, of course."

"I think it'd be a nice way to get it all remembered." Anna cringed, "And help Mr. Moseley clean some of those papers out of the archives. Make this its own slice of history with people staying on all sides of it. Immerse them in the truth."

"With the best part being that it's got all the aspects of a good story." John ticked them off on his fingers. "Forbidden love, unexpected child, the moment when you think there'll be a happy ending, the dramatic return, reversal of fate, confusion, suicide, murder, accidental death, guilt, a hidden will, and the long-lost heir come back to claim it all."

"You make this sound like a bad movie."

"It'd be a great movie and I'd see it more than once in theaters." John grinned and Anna gave him a little smile before taking a turn around the room.

"You never think something like this'll happen to you. It's the stuff for other people's lives and then…" She sat on the edge of the empty bedframe, noting the sturdy wood did not even groan at her weight. "All that pain is resolved in a moment. Right here."

"Good will out, as they say." John came to her side, "And other things too."

"How'd you mean?"

"Just a proposal to leave some good memories here." John took one of her hands, kissing over it. "To wash away the bad ones."

"Go on."

"It'll involve the possible removal of clothing."

"Will it now?" Anna made a show of eyeing the room. "I don't see a suitable piece of furniture and, between you and I, I'm a bit too old for a romp on the floor."

"I wasn't even suggesting we sit down." John pointed to the bookcase, "Unless you'd feel awkward if I intended to take you next to the bookcase holding your great-grandmother's journals."

"They're just words John." Anna stood and took John's hand, tugging him up next to her. "And this way I get to test the stability of your prosthesis again."

"What, testing out models for yourself?"

"You never know when I might need one." Anna pushed the book of fairy tales to the side and went to jump herself onto the top of the shelf but John stopped her with the weight of his chest at her back. "Other plans?"

"This way you don't have to shimmy completely out of your jeans." His hands moved around her hips, holding her close to him as the distinctive snap of her button preluded the pull of her zipper. "Because they're a bloody nightmare to pull off from that position."

"I'll make sure to wear skirts and skimpy-to-nonexistent knickers from now on, you big baby." Anna teased back before biting on a moan as John kissed over her neck. "You're far too good at this."

"I'm merely trying to convince you to stay." John's lips paused on her jaw. "If you like the scenery and the amenities, you'll visit again."

"Not sure you'd appreciate anyone else reading what I'd write on your review card when I finish the survey." Anna's breath hitched again as John's hands smoothly shoved her jeans below her knees and snapped her knickers to join them. "Or the vivid descriptions I'd be tempted to leave with accompanying photos."

"Naughty." John hummed near her ear before running his fingers along her seam. "But do go on. I'd like to hear about your pornographic postcards you'd send me to try and fully capture the experience."

Despite Anna's best efforts to respond, with John's fingers working expertly inside her and the steady thrust of his hips to hers so his erection could run along her ass, there was nothing more to be said. They moved with all the expertise of people used to the other's wants and desires but also all the finesse of two desperate individuals managing less-than-ideal circumstances to manage their mutual pleasure. And there, in a room where so much pain and hurt exchanged decades before they shared their imperfect, utterly desirable moment.

Far more desirable, Anna found herself thinking, than what came after.

She stood to the side as careful cranes lifted the two coffins from the earth and two scientists took their samples for DNA testing. Testing that had Anna tapping her fingers on the plastic arms of the chair in the waiting room outside the office of the solicitor handling the affairs for the estate. John sat on her one side, flipping through a Men's Health issue with passing interest while Mr. Murray occupied her other side fiddling continuously with his briefcase.

"I was surprised to get your call."

"So you said over the phone." Anna smiled at him and tried to hold back her snort as John whispered in her ear.

"And in the taxi, at the airport, at the hotel, and three times on the drive."

"It really is just so… Fantastical doesn't even encompass it, does it?"

"No, it really doesn't." Anna sat up straight as the office door opened and the solicitor exited. "Is there news?"

"Yes." She nodded at them before stepping to the side so the three individuals could enter her office. They all stood in an awkward semi-circle until she finally shut the door to address them. "And the news is that Ms. Smith here is the genetic heir of Lord Grange and… the elder Ms. Smith."

Anna took a seat, John sitting next to her and forcing Mr. Murray to a sofa just a step farther away. His fingers covered hers and Anna twisted her hand to interlace with John's. The squeeze only lasted a moment as John turned to his solicitor.

"Mabel, what exactly does this mean?"

"Ms. Smith, by right of the will and the results of the test, is the heir to Bushwarden Base and all its monies. Everything in that house is hers, by right, and your role as caretaker-"

"Is still necessary." Anna firmed her fingers around John's. "My life is in London and I'd like to create a stipulation that John keeps his position as it is. There'll be no changes to the running of the estate."

"If that's what-"

"And another thing," Anna interrupted again, speaking over the inevitable comments ready in Mr. Murray's half-open mouth. "He'll make the place a hotel, as he planned. He's to have full autonomy with only my verbal go-ahead for whatever he's got planned. He knows the place better than I do and-"

"Ms. Smith," Mabel held up a hand, silencing her. "I think you're afraid that we're going to try and overturn almost a century of organized operation here."

"I don't want my ownership to change anything."

"To be honest, the first worry you've got are the taxes because you inherited the place." Mabel flicked her eyes to Mr. Murray. "And I hope you're settling in for a long haul because this transition period's not going to be easy."

"I expected as much." His mustache ruffled a bit as he breathed out. "But Ms. Smith was very clear in the emails she sent me as to her wishes about the execution of her inheritance and I'm here to ensure that happens."

"Then I think we'll make a great partnership." Mabel went to smile but her face fell to confusion and she pushed herself from the leaning pose she assumed on the edge of her desk. "What the hell?"

All three eyes turned toward the glass door, to try and see what Mabel did, but a second later their twists proved unnecessary as the door swung open so violently Anna worried it would crack on the wall. But a stopper saved the door while nothing else proved enough to save them from the screeching howl of a voice that erupted inside the office.

"What the bleeding hell is going on here?"

Anna closed her eyes and groaned, hauling in a deep breath. "Lord give me strength to endure this." Before John could even frown his confusion, Anna pushed herself to stand and face the woman. "Hello mother. What are you doing here?"

"Coming to claim some of what's mine."

"Oh Judas H. Roosevelt Priest." Anna rubbed at her eyes as Mr. Murray tried to speak on Anna's behalf.

"Now, Ms. Smith, as we discussed two months ago in my office. Your mother's will was very clear as to the line of inheritance and it passed directly to your daughter, which means-"

"Which means I've got a lawyer, pro bono, willing to get my stake out of this place." Her mother turned on Anna, "Don't think you're keeping it from me."

"How'd you even get the money for a plane ticket?"

"I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

"Who said anything about stupid? I was wondering about your financial stability to even afford the idea of this trip." Anna paused, "How'd you get the money to get here, mother?"

"Your Gran did have a few things tucked away at her place that I pawned to settle a few of my debts."

"You broke into my house?!"

"I took what I was owed by right of growing up with that bitch. Now," She turned toward Mabel, "You look like the one in charge so you set it all straight for me and tell me how much there is to get here."

"Nothing."

Ms. Smith frowned, "Sorry?"

"So am I that…" Mabel frowned, "This Ms. Smith had to grow up with someone as toxically unhinged as you."

"I didn't, thank gods." Anna faced her mother. "What did you take of Gran's? What's missing at her house?"

"She had that Hummel collection and I decided-"

Anna raised her hand but stopped herself, dropping it. "Get out. Go wherever you want but don't ever come back here. Don't go back to Gran's house or I'll have you arrested for theft and…Wait." Anna frowned and then turned to John. "Got a ziptie on you by chance?"

"Sorry, no."

"Here." Mabel handed one over. "I use them for legal briefs."

"Thank you." Anna took it from her and quickly wrapped her mother's wrists behind her back. "Christina Lily Smith you're under arrest for breaking and entering, theft, larceny, the sale of stolen goods, and disturbing the peace."

"You can't-"

"You'll find, as an officer of the law in Great Britain, where the crimes occurred, I can." Anna stepped back, especially since you admitted to those crimes before two lawyers in a commonwealth of Great Britain."

"You'd arrest your own mother?" She struggled against the ziptie that bit into her wrists. "You'd deny me all this?"

"It's not yours." Anna shrugged, "And I never wanted it to be mine."

"I'll get security here." Mabel leaned over her desk for the phone before nodding to Mr. Murray. "I think we've got a lot of work to do so if you'd like to begin now then we'll jump on it all before it buries us."

"Good idea."

After security guided Ms. Smith away, a representative from the local constabulary there to try and sort it all out before Anna joined them at the nearest station to better explain the situation, John pulled Anna to the side. "Hey, I-"

"What?" Anna frowned, "Did I say something wrong in there?"

"No, it was all…" John's breath left him, a moment of nervous laughter taking over. "I think it's all going to be fine. For the first time in a long time there's a promise of stability to this job and… And thank you, for stepping up to it."

"Despite all my complaints about not wanting it?"

"Despite everything." John took Anna's hands. "I know you've got a flight tomorrow and you'll now probably be escorting your mother back with you but… If you can, can I see you tonight?"

"Another picnic or swim in mind?"

"If only." John held up a finger to the waiting constable. "I'll come by your hotel, if that's alright. I just… I'd like a last night with you on a bed."

"Instead of a rooftop or against a bookshelf or on a table or-"

John ended Anna's teasing with a kiss that left them both smiling. "Yes, then?"

"Yes." Anna squeezed his hand. "And it's not the _last_ night. Not hardly."

"Last for now." John nodded, "You're holding up the course of justice."

"I'll see you later."

Sorting out the legal ramifications of the incident left her mother in police custody until they delivered her to an air marshal the next evening at the airport. She could be in the custody of the marshal until the plane landed at Heathrow and then Anna would take custody and escort her to whatever office proved most convenient. A fact that left Anna ignoring her mother's pleas for mercy as she went back to her hotel.

The hotel where John waited.

For as urgent as the moment was, for as depressing as each tick down of the clock was, for as heavy as the weight over their heads and on their hearts hung, they moved slowly. So slowly Anna wondered if they moved at all. But as they exposed skin only to cover it in kisses, she recognized their speed.

It was them.

Her lovely adoration of what remained of his right leg and her careful handling of his prosthesis. The licks and loving kisses he pressed to her scarred and pockmarked arm. And each motion that left the other sighing with relaxing enjoyment of touches and kisses both gentle and caring.

They teased one another with their touches.

Anna's fingers darted to encircle and stroke and squeeze at his exposed erection when John lay back on the bed. Her mouth loved every inch of him until John's whimpering moans forced her to finish her memorization of him. And her attention to his leg had them both shivering at the intimacy of it.

John was no less adept. His fingers and tongue did wonders when he flipped Anna to her back. Her breasts proved his first point of distracting contact before he delved so far between her legs Anna wondered if he would ever resurface. But with one of her knees bent over his shoulder and the second of her climaxes wringing through her, Anna dragged him up to her.

Kissing slowly, seeking to enjoy every moment they could, John slid forward. Adjustments were made, hips raised, angles perfected, and then they slowed. The build to the moment of climax was as enticing as the destination itself when they moved in perfect harmony. As they tried to hold the moment off as long as possible. As they hoped extending the moment might delay the inevitable. As they worked to bring themselves to the edge together and fall over as one so nothing could separate them again.

In the afterglow, their breathing heavy from the endurance race of their sexual experience and their mouths swollen from the prolonged kisses, Anna turned to John. Her fingers ran over his skin until his hand covered hers and kissed every fingertip. Their eyes met in the blue half-light and Anna swallowed.

"I don't want to go."

"Good, because I don't want you to go either." John scooted closer to her. "But you have to go. Both of us know it."

Anna nodded, staring at the place where John's heart beat. "I can't… I can't go without telling you the truth about something."

"What?"

"I think…" Anna raised her head. "I love you, John. And maybe it's not ladylike to say it but I'm not a lady… As current circumstances would attest."

John gave a little snort and kissed her soundly before resting back on the pillow. "You're a lady to me, and I've never met a finer one."

"Thank you."

"And I do believe, Ms. Smith, that the proper response for me in that moment was to tell you that I love you as well." John smiled, his fingers reaching forward to brush some of her hair away from her face. "And it'll all work out the way it's supposed to in the end."

"You believe that?"

"I know that." John held her close. "Because I won't let it work out any other way and I'm sure you won't either."

"No," Anna tucked her head under his chin. "I don't think I will."


	20. Book of Anna

It was the attention she could not stand.

After years of being another constable or detective inspector or even as a detective chief inspector, Anna knew the value of anonymity. She enjoyed only having to show herself in interviews, the occasional statement, and in court. The fact that her face was one of many someone saw in the course of an investigation and had, as yet, attracted no followers. She was anonymous.

Not anymore.

Not since everyone now knew her story. Or what they thought was her story. Or what they hoped was her story.

There was no hiding in the crowd anymore.

The news spread fast. Faster than the story that she arrested her own mother and wanted to see her put in jail. Or the story about their tumultuous history. Or even the stories of her mother's escapades abroad, elaborated in detail by her former friends and travel companions… With more than a few of the juicer details fabricated by Ms. Smith herself for the publicity.

And if Anna thought the speed of those stories filling the papers and blogs and online news outlets was fast, then the speed of the legal legwork to bring her mother's case to trial was glacial by comparison. With the news about the trial growing into a bloated concoction of fairytale and folklore before her very eyes, it was all Anna could do to stay sane. But the stories spread all the same and Anna found the yard in front of her Gran's house bombarded with paparazzi and journalists all begging for her side of it and the grimy details of her family's sordid history to add to their already embellished articles.

She disappointed them all by walking past them every day and only giving them statements like, "get away from my car" or "if you put another camera in my face I'll arrest you for obstruction" before they took to casting nasty scowls at her. Anna took it all in stride and pretended they were not even there. A feat more in her imagination than her reality.

The only interview she even agreed to was the radio show on Alfred Nugent requested. It boiled the blood of many of the news outlets promising coverage of cases but her announcement did clear her lawn and the sidewalk, the to grudging gratitude of her neighbors. Anna only cared that she could finally open the curtains and let natural light back into her Gran's house.

But her decision was not without its ulterior motives. In return for her telling her story on his radio show and the podcast he linked to it, Al released his aunt's possessions to the Historical Society and had them entered into the exhibit Mrs. Sinderby and Mr. Moseley erected in the town on the heels of Anna's hype. An exhibit they emailed about constantly but it helped Anna feel connected to it all despite being on the other side of the world. And it served as the same link she gave anyone who wanted their 'inside scoop' into the details of her life.

But the reporters and the interested parties swarmed her lawn again in time for her mother's trial. It gave them the time to take their poster boards with their large letters and scrawled sentiments and wave them about as if Anna cared to read them. They, ironically, were easier to ignore than the people holding them.

The people screaming about her being "heartless" and "unfeeling" to her mother in a desperate situation. The people who called her "selfish" and "jackboot" and "robotic" because she kept her emotions to herself instead of sobbing for the cameras about being torn in regards to her mother's situation. All those who believed the stories her mother spun for the interested reporters about her hard life with hints of abuse muttered and implied but never outrightly stated.

Others were on Anna's side and they insisted she knew it. Standing in line at a fish and chips stall. Or trying to get a coffee. Or even going for lunch at a tiny, hole-in-the-wall venue with Mary. No matter where she was there were fans assuring her that she chose to the do the right thing.

But no matter what side they supported, they all just hoped to be the one to "know her side of the story". Even when Anna referred them to the podcast or the YouTube video Al recorded of them doing the interview or the Historical Society's page, they all leaned in closer to whisper about being willing to hear her side of it. Winks and the occasional nudge only had Anna retreating further and refusing to speak to anyone without a nametag behind a counter just to make sure they had no personal agendas. That, however, sometimes proved even worse.

Anna held her line. Throughout it all she refused to answer any questions about her family. Even the moments before she entered the courtroom to give her statements and evidence about her mother, Anna held fast.

Each of the barrister's received fair, honest answers that adhered to the facts. She held their gaze and never once looked at the jury or at the accused's box. There was nothing for her to say to her mother from the box and she took comfort in her uniform, despite tugging down the left sleeve whenever the anxiety had her hands shaking. Then she only looked to Mary, who nodded from the gallery.

Giving her statements and testimony proved no more arduous than any other event of the same ilk. The only difference was the swarm of reporters waiting outside the door to speak to her. Their microphones and phones and cameras flashed in her face or spot-lit her and Anna only shoved through them with Mary's held. Her comments were far less kind as she fended them off.

"Get back you bunch of piranhas. Don't you have old ladies to bother and lunch money to swindle from someone?"

They backed up for breathing room and Anna headed toward the stairs with Mary on her heels. Her arms rested on the marble work and she took deep breaths while still pulling at the cuff of her left sleeve. Mary snorted and Anna frowned at her before Mary nodded at her sleeve.

"Not seen you do that since we were in training together. Always so nervous someone would see your scars."

"Still nervous about that."

"How about your meds?" Mary lowered her voice, "You know the only reason they're not all asking if you've got a drug habit is because they don't know right?"

"The only habit I have is carefully monitored and prescribed." Anna shivered, "I thought my… conditions, might've come out when they were all making accusations about Grandad but I dodged that bullet."

"Because your mother doesn't know shit about you?"

"She knows she tried to kill me in the womb but otherwise…"

Mary scowled. "Sometimes I forget what a horrible woman your mother is and then I remember."

"I'm just more fascinated that they don't know." Anna nodded back toward the journalists. "You'd think they would've dug into her life."

"Her life's a mess, through and through. To have any of them try and sort through the swamp that is her list of former friends and acquaintances makes me glad we couldn't touch the case because of your personal attachment to it. What a nightmare it would've been. So many interviews."

"We could've met nice people."

"Your mother's not nice people, Anna." Mary tugged at her fingers as they dangled over the edge of the railing. "What'll you do, once this is all over?"

"How'd you mean?"

"They're not going away, Anna." Mary straightened slightly. "And while you're Hughes's golden girl, there does come a point where she'll have to admit that keeping you around is a detriment to our work."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"It's not because you're any worse at your job. It's because they'll not let you do your job." Mary shrugged, "You've got enough money now to do whatever you want to do. You don't even need a job anymore."

"I'd go mad without work."

"Then find another job."

Anna shook her head, "I only ever wanted to do this."

"Why?"

"It keeps me close to my Grandad and…" Anna sighed, "Because, growing up, I never thought I could make it. I thought my disabilities or my medications or my history would stop me but I didn't let them. This is the job I want because I worked so fecking hard to get it. I did what no one thought I could do and now…"

"Now you might lose it."

Anna nodded, "I know what you're saying and I hear you. I hear what Chief Hughes is worried about and I understand. I just… I don't want to leave this job. This is the only job I could ever have."

"Then maybe it's time to find something else that will still allow you to prove the world wrong and tell them to get stuffed in a new way." Mary leaned over and played with a bit of Anna's hair.

Anna snorted, "Careful, I'd hate for the next article they print to be that we're lesbian lovers and you're cheating on your husband."

"Please, Matthew and I've never been better." Mary paused, "I also don't swim in the ladies' pool and I don't think you do either."

"Not as yet."

"Then," Mary shrugged. "They can get stuffed too."

"Will you tell them that?"

"And lose my career, I don't think so." They laughed a moment before Mary spoke again. "Anna, whether you like it or not, this chapter of your life is closing forever. Not because you want it to but because decisions were made and you're caught in the middle of it. There's no real choice for you in that but to decide how you'll end it all."

"The Gandalf speech."

"What?"

Anna shook her head, smiling to herself. "Nothing."

"Alright." Mary frowned but continued. "You've got a blank page ahead of you and you need to start thinking about the next chapter of your life."

"I've got nothing." Anna let her head hang back, forcing her eyes toward the arched ceiling. "I don't even have a title for it."

"Then just number the chapters." Mary pushed her shoulder into Anna's. "You're such a pedant sometimes."

"Not like your new partner?" Anna pointed at Mary, "Don't think I don't know that you're just trying to get me out of the way so you don't feel guilty about wanting to keep Toole or whatever his name is."

"Talbot and no, I'd never do that to you." Mary rolled her shoulders. "Although Henry and I do get on rather well."

"A surprising miracle to us all."

"I'd hate to think I'm predictable." Mary put her hand over Anna's, squeezing it. "All you need to worry about, in the next chapter of your life, is where it'll be and who'll be in it."

"That's all?"

"Yeah." Mary pushed off the railing to stand straight. "And I'll even do you a solid and give you a spoiler about it."

"Oh?" Anna stood straight as well, crossing her arms over her chest. "And what, pray tell, is that?"

"It sure as hell won't be here or include all these idiots." Mary motioned to the gaggle of reporters and before Anna could answer the bailiff ushered them all back in to hear the jury's verdict.

Anna took her seat next to Mary and risked a look toward the glassed-in box where her mother sat. But her mother refused to look at her, sitting almost despondent in the box as the jury reentered the room. Everyone stood for the judge and waited as the bailiff called for the foreman to present their decision.

"How do you find?"

"We find the defendant guilty."

Anna sighed, her head thumping against the wooden board behind their seats, and gazed at the ceiling. The suggested sentence grazed her ears and she only moved when Mary shook her shoulder for them to leave the courtroom. They took a back exit, avoiding the reporters, and Mary guided Anna down into the bowls of the courthouse to the waiting cells.

"They won't let me see her."

"They'll let you see her if I tell them you can." Mary guided Anna through the corridors and waited as the officers escorting Anna's mother into her cell. They almost argued with Mary but she pulled out her badge and barked them back to their places before nodding toward the door. "Go on. You've got ten minutes so use them the best you can eh?"

Anna nodded and entered the cell, taking the concrete bench perpendicular to the one where her mother sat. The posture her mother assumed, her leg thrown up to cross the other as she leaned her head back against the wall, almost had Anna copying it. But her nerves kept her legs together and her palms pressing into her trousers like she wanted to take the sweat from her palms. Palms that were, in fact, bone dry.

"Come here to gloat?" Her mother's voice broke the silence and she dropped the hand that had been plastered to her forehead as her dead-eye gaze landed on Anna to match the pursed lips of disappointment. "Or have you brought a fag with you so I can smoke it?"

"I don't smoke." Anna shuffled, forcing her arms to loosen as she flexed her fingers. "And even if I did, you can't smoke in here."

"Already like prison then?" She sighed, moving her leg to rest her elbows on her knees as she tipped forward. "Why are you here Anna?"

"Because…" Anna let out a breath. "I just spent a month in Oz learning about Gran's mother. About the horrible tragedy that was her life and why she never got to raise Gran. About why Gran never got to meet or even know her mother. And I…"

Anna took a deep breath, "I don't want that to happen to me. I don't want any future children I might have growing up not knowing who you are. I don't want to feel lost of have them feel lost. I want us to know one another."

Ms. Smith let out a snort and then a stream of derisive laughter. It cut Anna to core as her mother continued laughing, almost cackling so hard her arms wrapped her sides to hold herself in place as she bent double. When she did finally breathe again, wiping at the tears coming from the corners of her eyes, Ms. Smith faced Anna. "You came here, after arresting me in Oz, and after refusing me to say you want us to be a family?"

"Just because I did the right thing doesn't mean I don't want a mother."

"Well you're not going to get one. It's too fecking late sweetheart." Ms. Smith sat back, her cool appraisal of Anna matching the flex in her jaw and the raise of her eyebrows. "Because you're assuming I'd want to bother getting to know you."

"I am your daughter."

"And in case you forgot about the scars on your arm or how you got them," Ms. Smith leaned toward her. "I never wanted a daughter."

Anna swallowed, the cut of the comment going right to the quick and almost triggering tears. But she held herself together. "You've got one."

"Yeah, against my better judgement." Ms. Smith leaned back again. "That's why I left you at your Gran's. She wanted another go at parenting, not that she did a bang-up job the first time around, and I didn't want you. Never bothered to learn shit about you because why would it matter? You were a mistake and therefore irrelevant to my existence."

"So that's it then?"

"What more could there be to it, Anna?" Ms. Smith shook her head, "I could really use a fag right now."

"Then I hope you find ways to get ahold of them in prison." Anna stood, "I won't be sending them."

"Rot in Hell." Ms. Smith crossed her arms over her chest as Anna knocked on the metal door. "You'll crawl back when I'm out and try to make it work again. People like you, with big hearts and tiny brains, always do. It's what makes you so easy to manipulate."

"Consider me cured then." Anna slipped through the door and waited for Mary to close it again. "Do you want to buy my Gran's house?"

Mary blinked at her, "Matthew and I've talked about getting a bigger place because we live in a matchbox but-"

"So that's a yes, then?"

"Anna?" Mary flicked her gaze toward the cell, "What did she say."

"That it's time I grew up." Anna cracked her neck. "You're right. There's nothing for me here and I'm going back to where there is."

"And where's that?"

"Oz."

It took less than a month for Anna to sell the house, pack or sell or give away the contents of the house, and finish her notice. As sorry as Chief Hughes was to see her go, they all agreed it was for the best. The reporters trickled away, slinking off to find other stories of note and interest. Things like Ms. Smith's escapades in prison and the rumor of the book she was writing about the 'tragedy' of her life.

Anna ignored it all. Ignored everything but arranging her estate with Mr. Murray and sending her large items via slow-boat freighter to Melbourne. Only Mary and Matthew wished her off when she boarded her flight with the last of her belongings. Hung over after the party the Crawley family insisted be held for the member of their family in all but blood, Anna slept for most of her first flight and her second with only water breaks and food at her connecting airport. It left her groggy and ill-tempered when she arrived in Melbourne but after resetting her clock at her hotel, Anna settled in for her new life.

The car she arranged to buy was waiting for her and she took it straight to the interview with the local constabulary office in Snowy River. The office that almost hired her on the spot with her record and glowing recommendation from Chief Hughes to match her exemplary record in London. But they gave her a month to settle into her new life before insisting she start as one of their DCIs. A DCI whose partner was none other than a familiar redhead from the pub John co-owned.

Anna greeted her with a handshake but Gwen insisted on a hug, despite still barely knowing one another. They separated for a moment, Gwen showing Anna where their desks would be, before leaning on one and nodding at her. "Does he know you're back yet?"

"I just got in last evening and drove here first thing." Anna shrugged, "I've not really told anyone I'm back. Least of all back for good."

"He'll like that you're here. Been moaning and weeping for the two months since you left."

"So he said on almost all of our calls." Anna sighed, folding her arms over her chest. "How is he, really?"

"He's still working through the hotel. Got the contractors working around the clock and they're doing good work too. The Historical Society oversees all of the refurbishments, to make sure it meets the historical codes, and the Baxley'll love the increased business."

"It's like everyone's dreams are coming true."

"We can only hope." Gwen pushed off the desk, "He's at the pub, if you were hoping to catch him alone."

"I wouldn't want to distract him."

"Please, you'd be doing all of us a favor." Gwen winked at her, "Besides, he'll like you as a surprise."

"Like the surprise that you're a DCI?" Anna shook her head, "I thought you just co-owned a pub since your children were in school."

"We all need a side-hustle and that pub was an investment opportunity for John and I." Gwen paused, "My John… My husband's name is also John."

"Confusing."

"He doesn't work the bar. Mostly he's the accounting and business side of it. Your John does most of the heavy lifting and I run what's left after they're through with it." Gwen sighed, "And since this is a relatively small community, they don't need too many of us too much of the time."

"So I'll spend most of my days puttering around doing office work?"

"I'm sure the heir to Bates Manor doesn't have to do anything at all if she doesn't want to." Gwen gave a little laugh, "Now this is your side hustle."

"Perfect." Anna let out a breath, "Best go surprise him at his office then."

"Please do." Gwen went back to her desk, "And I'm excited to start working with you Anna."

Anna drove to the pub and parked. Her fingers tapped the steering wheel a moment before she steeled herself to enter the building. There were a few patrons taking lunch but John was nowhere to be seen. A blonde man took the space behind the bar and Anna knocked on it to distract him from cleaning out a glass.

"Is John here?"

"He's in the back." The man jerked his head. "Near the toilets, just take the door that says 'Employees Only' and you'll be at his office if you turn immediately to your left."

"Thanks." Anna followed the man's instructions and debated just turning the knob to the door. Instead she knocked and waited, shifting her weight from one foot to the other in the almost silent kitchen. After a moment she raised her knuckles to knock again when John's voice echoed through the door.

"Come in."

She let out a breath and turned the knob, walking into the office and raising John's head from whatever papers were in front of him when she locked the door. His jaw dropped as Anna smiled at him. "Long time no see."

"Anna?"

"Unless I've taken another name I don't know." She walked forward and rounded his desk as John pushed back in his rolling chair a bit to look at her. "How've you been stranger?"

"Better now that you're here." John reached for her and Anna landed sideways on his lap. His lips were immediately on hers and he broke away with a face-splitting smile. "You're a sight for the sorest of eyes."

"They've got glasses you can wear instead of that now if you-"

John cut her off with another round of kissing, tangling his tongue with hers to stop her giggling. They slowed the kiss, breaking it with a bit less force on the second round, and John's fingers traced Anna's face. "I've missed you."

"I know." Anna mimicked his motions. "I've missed you too."

"How'd it all go?"

"About as well as you'd expect." Anna adjusted her position, most of her weight on his left leg with her legs slung over his right. "She got eight years. They'll probably parole her in six, if she's a decent enough prisoner."

"And you?"

"Not so great." Anna traced the buttons on John's shirt. "I… I wanted to make peace with her. To bring it all to a close and… She threw it in my face. Said she'd never wanted me and that I was a fool for trying."

"I'm sorry." John's hand caressed up to her braided hair and then ran over her back. "I'm so sorry Anna."

"It… It just reminded me that I've got nothing there." Anna faced John, moving her position to straddle his legs. "And everything here."

"Which means…"

"You're looking at Snowy River's newest DCI and the owner of a second-hand Hyundai out in the lot." Anna grinned at him, her hands forming around John's stubbly jaw. "I'm here for good John. I'm staying."

There was no need for words after that. Their mouths and kisses did the talking for them. And with Anna's locking of the door, their hands and bodies soon joined in as well.

John spread her over the desk as they unclothed one another with all the determination of younger people and only slightly more finesse. But they managed to make a mess of their process in the best of ways, leaving one another moaning and keening for more attention as touches traced skin almost forgotten to all but memory. As kisses reminded them of the sensitive places they promised to never forget. As tongues and teeth met only to taunt and tease.

Anna's legs spread for John to taste her, a hand reaching up her body to continue massaging her breasts, and she dug her heels behind his shoulder blades to bring him closer. The rasp of his tongue on her had Anna grasping and gripping into his scalp to try and hold herself close enough to him that his fingers could easily slide deeper inside her. It anchored her, as much as she could manage given his adoration of her folds and tight channel, just enough that when his affections broke her Anna returned quickly.

She surprised him, kissing the cat-like grin from his face when his naked ass landed in his chair and she on him. One of her fingers brushed the top of the sock that kept his prosthetic in place and Anna paused, running her hand over the line between his leg and the miracle that allowed him to walk. John met her eyes as the fingers of his right hand ran over her left arm, tracing each of the divots and pockmarks there.

"Her loss."

It was all he had to say for Anna to bring their mouths together in a slow kiss. To bring their bodies together for a slow ride. And to have them coming together as the wheels on the chair squeaked and the back of it hit the wood paneled walls more than once.

Somehow they snuck away without anyone noting their 'walk of shame'. John took her to Bates Manor, now officially renamed with an asterisk denoting its association with the Baxley hotel, and led her around the interior. Each piece of restoration or reimaging left Anna in awe of the effort and work and love poured into each and every detail.

The last stop on their tour was the elder Anna Smith's old room. One now restored to its original, simple glory. The hole behind the bookcase now refitted and glassed over as part of the exhibit the room became. With the bookcase shifted and filled again with her great-grandmother's journals, Anna almost wondered if they stepped into the last century. But plaques on the walls and the velvet rope lines keeping fingers and hands from touching those journals reminded her of the purpose of it all.

"Mrs. Sinderby was going to wait to ask you but, since you're here," Anna turned to face John as he gestured to the room. "She wants you to speak at the opening of the exhibit."

"When?"

"The workers will finish in a week and when the hotel officially opens then the exhibit does too." John shrugged, "With the library now a museum and some of the rooms in the house serving as interactive parts of the tour, the whole place is already booked solid for the next six months."

"You're serious?"

John nodded, "Part of it might be the mystique you built up for it."

"I didn't do anything."

"The fact you wouldn't talk about it did more than any of us talking about it."

"Did it?" Anna gave a little hum, "I guess I'm better at marketing than I thought. I should consider a career change."

"Being coy only works for so long." John extended his hand to her. "One more thing I want to show you."

Anna followed John to his room and frowned. "I don't get it. I don't think you've changed anything so-"

As she pivoted to face him again, John was on one knee- his good knee- and holding a box open to her. "The mistake your great-grandfather made was never asking his Anna to marry him. Never having the courage to do what was necessary to chase the love he wanted. He accepted the love he thought he deserved and it destroyed all the things he loved in his life. I won't have that."

"John…"

"If you're going to say no then I'll accept it. I won't press and I won't fight it. But I think you love me the way I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy."

Anna knelt down with him, her hand covering his as she smiled. "I do love you. Maybe not as you love me, because I think you love me perfectly and I'm an imperfect person, but I could never say no to you."

"Don't go saying things you don't mean."

"I mean it." Anna slipped her finger through the ring, pulling it from its velvet cushion. "And yes, of course I'll marry you."

"Good." John tossed the box to the side. "I was worried you'd say no."

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Anna wrapped her arms over his shoulders, her fingers grazing into his hair. "Good thing we don't need anything like that to be in love."

"But we could use a bed." John was up and lifting Anna before she could even properly squeal. "I've got plans for you."

They managed to move Anna into the room with John. With all the work going on around them and the change of space already in motion, it proved the perfect plan. It allowed for them to carve out a portion of the house for them. Their own private spaces and places where Anna could retreat under a second assault on her privacy by the local journalists who learned of her arrival.

But between Mr. Moseley, helping with the opening, and Mrs. Sinderby, the reporters eventually gave up. She offered a second interview to Al and that calmed much of the local fervor down. Enough so that when the hotel and library-museum opened at the renamed Bates Manor, Anna's presence brought all the necessary attention. Attention she tried to ignore when she stood to deliver the one section of the program she agreed would be her contribution to her family's legacy.

She stood at the podium and swallowed before speaking into the microphones. "I'm here today to recognize the monumental achievement accomplished here. Between myself, Mr. Joseph Mosely, Mrs. Rachel Sinderby, and Mr. John Bates we've solved four mysteries. All of them immensely personal to me and each of them significant to the history of this area."

Anna paused, unfolding a piece of paper. "My grandmother is the reason I'm here. She planned, years ago, to come and try and find her roots. Instead she chose me, when I was literally left on her doorstep, and left this task of hers unfinished. I don't know if she knew I would finish it for her but, on her deathbed, she begged me to. I didn't expect to find this but I did. And, in her memory, I'd like to share the poem by Mary Lee Hall that she read at my Grandad's funeral in her memory and in the memory of all of my family lost on these grounds but now laid to eternal rest."

With another swallow, she read:

 _If I should die, and leave you here awhile_

 _Be not like others sore undone, who keep_

 _Long vigils by the silent dust and weep._

 _For my sake, turn again to life, and smile,_

 _Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do_

 _Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine._

 _Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine,_

 _And I, perchance, may therein comfort you._

Folding the paper back, Anna gazed at the crowd, "Welcome to Bates Manor."

The crowds clapped appropriately and Anna returned to her seat. And then returned to her life. A life that, despite the size of the town, remained intensely private. But not solitary. No longer lonely.

After the first months of the hotel settled in, Anna and John held their wedding. A small ceremony at Snowdrop for their close friends and Anna's adopted family. They all came and cheered when John dipped Anna into a kiss on the plateaued hill that made for spectacular wedding photos. Photos they hung at Snowdrop when they finished their honeymoon to London.

Anna hung the last one, smiling at the image of John kissing her with the sun almost blinding in the background, and smiled as John's hands circled her from behind. He kissed just below her ear and Anna sighed into him, resting her weight against him. They stayed like that a moment before John whispered in her ear.

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Anna tried to turn in his grip but John steered them toward the master bedroom and only allowed her to face him when her knees knocked the bedframe.

"That you're pregnant."

"I'm-" John held up the test, the wording clear. "It wasn't going to be until tonight. I had a whole dinner planned."

"Did you?" John tapped the test on the bedside table before placing it there. "How long have you known?"

"I suspected when we were in London but I wasn't sure." Anna paused, "Are you… Is this-"

"I'm not mad, if that's what you're worried about, and this is exactly what I want." John paused, "I didn't want to suggest it since I wondered if it'd be too soon."

"How'd you mean?"

"Technically," John tugged at Anna's shirt and she raised her arms so he could extract her arms. "We've only known each other a year and you've barely started your job so I didn't want to say anything yet."

"As everyone keeps telling me." Anna undid the buttons on John's shirt and slid it down his arms before they both slowly unbuttoned respective jeans. "I'm absurdly wealthy now and I don't need to work."

"It's true," John leaned forward, kissing down Anna's neck as his fingers freed her from her bra so he could move his mouth toward her breasts. "The Lady Grange doesn't need to work."

"Lady Grange?" Anna hummed, holding John's head to her chest as he wrapped his tongue around her nipple and tugged it before sucking hard. She whimpered and bent back to land on the bed, temporarily upsetting John's hold. "I like the sound of that."

"And I'd like to help you make other sounds, if you'd like." He kissed down to her abdomen, fingers playing at her open jeans. "If the lady so desires."

"The lady does."

They cast their clothing aside and set about fitting together as they squirmed and settled on the bed. The rings on their fingers ran over skin, adding shivers until the metal heated enough so the smooth slide of them served as reminders of their status. Of their rights to one another.

Anna opened her legs, exchanging kisses and touches that left John's hips bucking toward hers. His fingers delved deeper between her folds, the slick sounds of them withdrawing and driving deep almost matching the grunts John made each time her hand squeezed with a bit more force around his erection. And it only took a hard suck on his tongue to have John thrusting forward.

Her legs opened and bent toward her body, accepting John's speed and positioning so he drove as deeply into her as he could. Their fingers tangled as they both tried to encourage the swelling bud of nerves to allow Anna's release between the clenching cling of her vaginal walls around him. And between their kisses and the digging of nails into skin, they came together.

Releasing her clutch of John's ass, Anna relaxed back onto the bed and took John's weight on her. He shifted almost immediately, bending to kiss at Anna's abdomen before unstrapping his prosthetic. Anna ran her hand over his right leg and curled against him, breathing in time with him as their heartbeats synchronized.

"Do you want this?" John's voice broke through their post-coital glow and Anna lifted herself to look at him. "Is this what you want?"

"I want you." Anna kissed him, "And I want the family we'll build together. I want the life we'll have together. And yes, I want this."

"Good." John ran his finger over her abdomen again. "Because I've got an idea for a name, if it's a girl."

"And what's that?"

"Rose." Anna paused and John shrugged, "Give it another go. Make sure it's done right this time."

"I'd like that." Anna sighed, tucking herself against him again. After another few moments of quiet she giggled to herself.

"What?"

"It's just…" Anna kissed at John's shoulder. "Mary told me I needed to decide what the next chapter of my life would be and I told her I didn't have a title for it."

"Do you now?"

"It's cheesy."

"I happen to like cheesy."

"Okay then." Anna cleared her throat, "By Any Other Name."

"As in, _a rose by any other name_?"

"Yes."

John was quiet for a moment. "You're right, that's cheesy."

Anna only shrugged and slotted herself next to her again. "But it's mine. Like you're mine and she'll be ours and this is ours."

"For good and proper."

"Always and forever."


End file.
